AMERICAN IDOL starts

AMERICAN IDOL (FOX)
Off to a GREAT start - the 16 year old crack baby was fantastic. Simon was crueler then usual and Paula is out of her fucking mind. Let the games begin! They've also fixed their annoying habbit of telegraphing who does well at the auditions SOMEWHAT. God forbid they just let the tape run without the tool-of-the-century Ryan fuckface Seacrest giving his ridiculous commentary "They sure got a great audition from this little guy!" It's much more exciting to NOT KNOW what's going to happen when someone opens his mouth - but they've gotten a little better at it this year.
Grade: A -


SURREAL LIFE: GAMES (VH1)
Jimmy Kimmel said it best Tues. night - "You have Vanilla Ice using this advice from Eric Estrada and giving it to Vern Troyer." It's that insane - and that fun. Chyna Doll and Brigitte Nielson have some kind of disgusting vile thing going on - and I intend to watch every gross minute of it. If Chyna isn't the biggest train-wreck on television - then I don't know who is.
Grade: B +


HOGAN KNOWS BEST (VH1)
The gang learns spanish in an ep that seemed REALLY contrived by the producers.
Grade: D

FAMILY BUSINASS (SHOWTIME - DVD SEASON 2 SET)
I give up on this show. What started as a great expose' into the adult film industry has turned into a completely staged event that doesn't seem real or authentic for even a minute. A shame - since all they have to do is leave the cameras running - but these idiots just have to produce - and make the show seem insanely fake and written.
Grade: F


TOP CHEF! (BRAVO)
My current obsession - this is a great show that features great drama and best of all - great food. What's with that guy Marcel? I kind of liked him till he did his "rap." And I like the guy Michael - who was kind of like the Artie Lange of the group - he even looked like him. A dead ringer, actually.
Grade: B +


STERN ON SIRIUS (SIRIUS RADIO)
Funnier then ever.
Grade: A +


SLEEPER CELL (SHOWTIME)
I almost started to love this show again, but after the spectacular 3rd episode, it's been all boringly downhill.
Grade: C -


ROCK DOCS: THE RETURN OF COURTNEY LOVE (VH1)
Courtney Love is sort of the culmination of everything I've always hated about show-biz. She's fake - she's marginally talented, marginally pretty (and losing that every single day) - and so narcisstic and full of herself that it's borderline beyond-belief. She talks about the Kimmel-Roast for Pam Anderson and says "Someone should've just said - Get out of here. Go!" Like the world has to look out for her. She constantly talks about her celeb friends - can't get through a fucking sentence without mentioning little annoying things like "Elton gave me those." Or - "I have to pray for my friend - he's in Hollywood - really big star." She's such a star-fucker, AND she drove Kurt Cobain to suicide - and that, in my book, gets an...
Grade: F
but - a:
Grade: B
for filmaking.

However - as fucked up as she is - Kurt had his own problems. But I miss Nirvana and find it inconcievable that Kurt is dead. I'm sure being married to fuck face didn't help.

TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY: THE FINAL DAYS OF ELVIS (E!)
I had no idea what a drug snorting, pill popping, food orgiastic pig Elvis had turned into in the final days. God, I relate. (Not to the drugs - but the food.)
Grade: B +


SNL: JAKE GYLENHALL & THE SHINS (NBC)
Jake was shockingly funny and The Shins are really good - the whole thing was pretty funny - a rarity this season. They still need to delete Seth Myers from the equation before he does more damage. He needs off the show and to stop wreaking havoc on UPDATE.
Grade: B -


THE OFFICE (NBC)
Did Dwight quit? This show can be really funny - it can also be seriously over the top and just plain dumb. This ep was one of those.
Grade: D


30 ROCK (NBC)
Really on a roll and funnier then ever. It was great to see Alec Baldwin win his Golden Globe for the funniest portrayel on tv - however, I'd like to see Tracey Morgan have more of a fleshed out character.
Grade: A -


8 BELOW (DVD)
The dogs were heart breaking, but between Paul "Iceman" Walker and Jason "Suddenly Straight-haired" Biggs, this movie was impossible to enjoy.
Grade: C


RENO 911 (SEASON 1 DVD SET)
Getting funnier and funnnier.
Grade: B -


THE GOLDEN GLOBES (ABC)
Borat had the night's funniest speech. Everything else on the show was the usual bore. Although it was nice to see Scorsesee pick up an award for his just-okay film. Where was ROCKY BALBOA during all this?


NOTES ON A SCANDAL (IN THEATERS)
I just watched the screener - great movie, great performances. A must see.
Grade: B +


EXTRAS (HBO)
Very funny. Off to a great start - though some bits were pushed to their limit - and the guest stars seem to want it in their contract that their humor can emulate David Brent from the THE OFFICE BBC - from which I suppose is how this whole enterprise got started. Nonetheless, they've gelled into a very funny and knowing show that sometimes misses but always aims with great respect for the audience. And you'll laugh out loud. But like THE OFFICE BBC - it's a show that works best in order - so I suggest you rent the first season, then watch the new ones ON DEMAND on HBO as they roll out. Good stuff.
Grade: B+


THE APPRENTICE: LOS ANGELES (NBC)
I started to watch this with the intention of following the season - then I saw Donald, then I saw the wierd looking son, then I saw the gorgeous daughter, then I saw him posing with his gorgeous wife - and I realized that the show's main theme has been completely compromised. I deleted the program and have deleted all future airings. I don't think I give a shit about this show anymore. Besides - how many apprentices can one man have?

BEAUTY & THE GEEK (THE CW)
Stupid fun. Nothing special - but the girls are particularly pathetic this year.
Grade: C +


AMERICAN IDOL (NIGHT 2) (FOX)
More of the same but with less inspired moments. Too much focus on the people clearly there to do some shtick and get on tv.
Grade: A -

I'm getting a lot of shit for including ROCKY BALBOA so much in this blog and for naming it one of the best of the year. There is a difference between a film that makes you think, and a film you just enjoy. While ROCKY might not have had the fucking political agenda of a BLOOD DIAMOND, it certainly had universal concerns that all men face, and resurrected a character that has been one of our favorites for decades. And, unlike so many re-births, this movie actually - you know what - if you've seen it and think it sucks - I understand. But don't judge me for loving the Italian Stallian.

I started to watch RUMOR HAS IT and it was even worse then I could have ever suspected. Mark Rafallo is a great actor - he must have had to take OxyCotten to get through this one. It went off after 20 minutes - after every single person involved had embarressed themselves on film forever.

And I don't care what anybody says, BAT OUT OF HELL 3 was great.

1st Blog Of The Year - I LOVE NEW YORK!

HOWARD TV: TRACY MORGAN (IN DEMAND)
This was one of the best celebrity interviews I've ever seen and the best reason in the world to subscribe to Howard, whether it's by Radio or IN DEMAND, Stern has the hands down best, most open forum for adult conversation. Tracy was at his very best in this hour culled from the radio show, and the crew was both astonished and a hilarious sounding board for some of Tracy's more insane moments. This might have been the funniest hour of tv I've seen in months. This is what Howard meant by freedom of speech. Human, insightful dialog about life and what we all go through as human beings. This was one of Howard's finest hours.
Grade: A +


Speaking of the Stern show, Artie Lange absolutely fucking murdered on Letterman last week.


JACKASS 2 (DVD)
Re-watched the dvd - haven't dug into the extras yet, but already, this is one of the funniest films ever made. "Grandpa's balls" has to be seen to be believed.
Grade: A


SLEEPER CELL 2 (SHOWTIME)
In it's 3rd episode this show went from 30 to 90 - a seriously riveting hour that re-birthed the entire show. No spoilers, but this is something you might want to think about watching, and this episode kept topping itself. It also included the (so far) most disturbing scene of 2007 thus far.
Grade: A -


AMERICAN DAD
Bush came to dinner and fell off the wagon. Pretty funny.
Grade: B


The promo ON DEMAND keeps running for that Jennifer Anniston movie about the Graduate has to be the worst thing I've ever fucking seen. I can't imagine watching that movie and being forced to watch Jeffifer's "funny mock-outrage" acting. I'd rather die. What's the name of that stupid movie? I think it's RUMOR HAS IT. Yikes.


ONE PUNK: UNDER GOD (SUNDANCE)
The continuing story of Jim and Tammy Faye Baker's son, Jay. This is a terrific, smart show and Jay is a fascinating and smart subject. The recent 2 parter that had him visiting with his defrocked, but now popular again televangelist Jim Baker was pure gold, and completely unusual and nothing like any show on network tv right now.
Grade: B +


CLASSIC ALBUMS: U2 - The Joshua Tree (VH1)
Another great installment of a fantastic show. The best parts are always in the studio, when they separate the vocal tracks and let us listen in on the bare roots of the album. But this hour focused a bit more on the group, which we've all heard before, and less on the music.
Grade: B


DATELINE: POLICE UNDERCOVER VIDEOS (NBC)
Did you see that guy who tried to have his wife killed, then the cops bust in while he's paying the "hitman" - and he screams at the cops "Kill me! Kill me!" He looked like an ad for nerdy central casting. Then they cut to 4 years later - the guy is out of jail and he looks completely different - like a Soprano type mob boss - and the kids now love the father, support him and spend time with him. Meanwhile, the mother, who was plotted to be killed, has to deal with this guy still in her life - unreal.
Grade: B


SNL: ALEC BALDWIN & CHRISTINE AGUILERA (NBC)
The worst of the worst. This has been the worst season of SNL since Michael Anthony Hall and Robert Downy Jr. took over the show.
Grade: F


SUPERMAN 2: THE DONNER CUT (DVD)
A huge curio piece, one needs to know that when the original SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE was shot, the idea was to shoot 2 movies, the first and a sequel, simultaneously (an idea which came to fruition decades later) - and it just didn't work out. Richard Donner was the man to direct both films, and had directed tons of footage for SUPERMAN 2, but then they ran up against a release date for SUPERMAN and the producers decided to take the ending for part 2 - tack it on to part one, and worry about the rest later. When Donner blew up - they replaced him with Richard Lester - best known for A HARD DAY'S NIGHT to bring some "Comedy" into the series. But for years, fans wanted the sequel with Donner's vision - a vision the fan's felt was more in line with the series - to wit, Lester went on to make part 3 - with Richard Pryor - largely the film that is mostly considered to have halted the franchise. (They made a part 4 - but nobody cared and they financed it independently.)

Anyway - the web network of SUPERMAN geeks demanded that Donner's vision be restored, and so - The Donner Cut - 20 years later. Having just seen it - I can say "who cares." Some of the scenes are better - some are worse. It's still not as good as the first one, and the logic in the new version completely goes against the logic in the first - you can only watch if you imagine that part 1 ends with the same cliffhanger they thought they would end with. There's lots of behind the scenes footage on how they cobbled this together - and they used a lot of screen tests for scenes - which is not the best idea, since the performances weren't really up to par during some of the most important sequences (in this version, Lois shoots Clark to prove he's Superman - but the actor's don't seem to be taking it too seriously. Still - a great curio if you must - but they needn't have bothered. Lastly, in both movies Superman turns back time - and magically Lex Luthor disappears - now how do they explain that? Still, with the extras about putting the old stuff together, Richard Donner's angry commentary (a sequel itself, of sorts, to his angry commentary on SUPERMAN 1) this is quite an entertaining package - I just don't think the movie really came together on all cylinders. Not that the alternate version is any better - I just think when they used the device of killing Lois and having Superman do his time travel thing in part 1, they lost the best elements of the sequel. Still - an entertaining package.
Grade: B

And watching the old SUPERMAN movies made me nostalgic and even more resentful about how the SUPERMAN sucked so bad, even though it had a good star and good music - the story absolutely sucked - and Kate Bosworth and whoever played her husband sucked.

SUPERMAN RETURNS: D


12 & HOLDING (DVD)
Directed by Michael Cuesta, who directed many 6 FEET UNDERs, this is a great, unsung movie that you've probably never heard of - but it's really good and unusually grim for a film about kids.
Grade: B


ROCKY (NEW 2 DISC DVD)
This new set is da bomb for ROCKY fans. Although it still contains the very shitty 5.1 mix (you're better off going with 2.0 dolby - that's the way we originally heard it in the theaters. If you have a 5.1 set up - set it to 2.0, then hit 5 channel stereo so you get the surround mix - otherwise, in 5.1, all the classic music cues have been completely squelched down in the mix.) Otherwise - the print looks amazing - Stallone does a first class audio commentary, and there's even a 90 minute brand new docu on the making of the film. Forget the old editions - this new one has everything from the previous editions, plus TONS of new stuff - ROCKY has finally gotten the treatment it deserves. NOTE: you might want to hold off, as I'm sure MGM is planning a ROCKY 6 PACK set, including new editions of all the films with extras.
Grade: A +


LETTERMAN (CBS)
Had on Trumb and the girl from 24 - pretty funny.


LIPSTICK & DYNAMITE (SUNDANCE)
A docu on female wrestling that sticks to the talking heads format so closely it never really takes off.
Grade: C

TALLADEGA NIGHTS (DVD)
Much funnier then I had anticipated - John C. Reilly is great, as is the always funny Mr. Farrel. And if you don't like racing - it doesn't matter - this is a first class comedy.
Grade: B


NACHO LIBRE (DVD)
I turned it off after a half hour - couldn't get into it no matter what.
Grade: D


LASSIE (DVD)
I turned this off, too - but I might've reacted too soon, as the reviews for this latest edition were stellar.


JUSTICE (ABC)
Been watching the last batch of eps - still can't believe this - the best new law show in years - is getting the ax.
Grade: B +


THE SIMPSONS (FOX)
Kill Gill, parts 1 & 2. Hilarious episode that has a moocher moving in with The Simpsons and overstaying his welcome.
Grade: B +


REAL WORLD: DENVER (MTV)
Getting kind of boring.
Grade: C +


GREY'S ANATOMY (DVD - SEASON 1)
Watched the first four episodes...am I missing something - or is this much lauded show really this obvious and cloying? Does it get better?

UPDATE: So - I watched the fourth episode and things are finally starting to click. So I will finish the first season and give this a proper review.


RENO 911! (DVD - SEASON 1)
Watched the first few - some funny laugh out loud stuff mixed with some rather obvious humor - but I'm going to finish the set.
UPDATE: Much like GREY'S - this show took a few eps to find itself, but now I'm laughing out loud at some of what goes on - though I wish they would be more docu like and less obvious sometimes.
Grade: B -


SNL: THE FIRST SEASON (DVD)
Haven't finished the set, but watched the first 3 or 4 eps - and based on what I saw - it's amazing the show survived. I guess you have to go back 30 years to realize that this stuff was ground-breaking, but based on the first few, which included bad sketches with the bee people, some GREAT music - Janice Ian did AT 17, and in the 2nd episode, the entire thing was songs by Paul Simon and a few by Art Garfunkle. It's amazing though - how quickly things got better - by episode 5, the elements to the show are really beginning to take place - and I'll do a real review on this once I finish the package.


ROCKY BALBOA (In Theaters)
Just another shout out to my favorite film of the year. If you can see this in a theater, do it.
Grade: A +


LITTLE CHILDREN (In Theaters)
Completely disturbing, lacking of humor mostly, and the director's (Todd Field) second effort (after IN THE BEDROOM.) It's almost like a perverted episode of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, examining this seemingly perfect little bedroom town - but look deeper and there is some sick shit going on. Jackie Earl Haley, JR. - so good as BUDDY in the BAD NEWS BEARS movies (the older cool kid who drove a bike) completely reinvents himself as a first rate character actor and his performance in the film is the one you remember most.
Grade: B +


THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND (In Theaters)
Forrest Whitaker is the main reason to see this and his chilling depiction of Idi Amin makes this a scary look back at that dictator's rise.
Grade: B -


THE SURREAL LIFE: CELEBRITY GAMES (VH1)
More shenanigans from the celebs - this one doesn't look too interesting - but there is a nice mix of returnees, and Chyna Doll and Bridgett Nielson look like they might have something going on.
Grade: C +


YOU'RE THE ONE THAT I WANT (ABC)
Fun enough, but in reality, IDOL starts in a day or two - and this is a 4th class reject in light of that.
Grade: D


SHOOTING SIZEMORE (VH1)
A bit much like BREAKING BONDADUCE, and I'm a little menaced that they chose such similar names, but again, after watching Sizemore's leaked porn, you know the guy has serious fucking problems. Watching him try to get himself straight here is both uplifting and frustrating. And he makes a fantastic subject. Another winner from VH1.
Grade: A -


I LOVE NEW YORK (Vh1)
Let's give it up to NEW YORK!!!! New York, the twice jilted lover of Flava Flav in FLAVOR OF LOVE, is now the star - picking between 20 men to be her true love. On hand is her over the top Mom, and in all, the both of them seem a lot less mentally insane from the other shows - but maybe young Tiffany is taking this show seriously and maybe when she's not in competition she's a lot easier - but expect the fireworks to fly. My prediction: Funnest show of the year.
Grade: A


JENNIFER HUDSON on LETTERMAN (CBS)
A really tame interview followed by a powerhouse performance. I think Hudson is here to stay.


DIRT (FX)
Okay - but you never believe for a second that it's celebrities are actually real. Which gives the whole enterprise a nice sheen of bullshit. Also - Courtney Cox is a bit much here in every way. But I like the reporter with the mental problems.
Grade: C +


THE OFFICE (NBC)
BACK FROM VACATION. So Michael hooks up with Jan in Hawaii - takes a forbidden picture then accidentally sends it out to the world. Jan shows up - we think she's going to tear Michael a new one - but all she wants is to go back to his apt. and do the nasty. I love this show.
Grade: B +


30 ROCK (NBC)
Another fine outing, though not quite as fine as previous eps. But the scenes of Alec Baldwin dealing with his mother - I think he's going to get the best supporting actor Emmy for the next four years, like John Laroquette in NIGHT COURT - this guy is fucking pitch perfect.
Grade: B

Last Blog Of The Year! Hail Rocky Balboa!

I've been off-line on the blog for a few weeks because the new OPEN RIDE AOL or whatever they are calling it fucking SUCKS. It has possibly the worst design of any web browser ever in the history of the web, and the mail section is completely fucked, so when I try to send out a link, it tells me something is wrong with the address line, but it won't tell me what. Luckily, I figured out a way to get the old AOL 9.0 so I can resume my blogging activities.

The stuff between Trump and Rosie is INSANE. I tend to side with The Donald, Rosie shoots her mouth off and it's not usually funny or especially informed, but I think calling someone out on being unattractive is lower then low. Especially on that high a profile. Still, Rosie's response: making a face? Sounds like she actually is afraid of being sued.

Wasn't that cool that we finally filmed a 30 foot giant squid!!! Then we split it open and killed it - just in time for the holidays!

ROCKY BALBOA (In Theaters)
One of the most pleasant surprises of the year, though I still think that script could've used another draft, there's enough great stuff here to warrant going to the theater.

In fact, I've seen every ROCKY movie in the theatre - even the dreadful 5, which this has more in common with then anybody is willing to admit - though in a good way. This is almost a great rewrite of 5. The acting from everybody is top notch, and stallion, once again, is completely on the money as Rocky, even better. The story moves along slow till fiction' time comes, but this is a bit of a character piece, and it's amazing how much you find yourself caring for Rocky at this point. When I heard they were bringing back Marie from the corner, I rolled my eyes - but it works great.

I have some problems with this - but I can't talk about them without giving away spoilers - and it's not about the results, it's about some questionable flimsiness late in the game, but again - there is no reason not to see this. Unlike LAND OF THE DEAD, the new STAR WARS and all the other creaky resurrections, this one packs a punch - and I swear I will not be shocked if we get one more out of Balboa - after this, it would be welcome. But if this is the end, what a way to go. Most impressive of all was that Stallone was finally able to again craft a real story of heart and emotion and actually make a subtle film. This is perhaps his greatest victory.
Despite some reservations...
Grade: A

THE ACTOR'S STUDIO: EDDIE MURPHY
Pretty great - fun to see Eddie doing character and being funny and humble. Ever since he tried to pick up a trannie Eddie has shyed away from the press, so this was a treat. He talked about his family, his past - his rise, it was unusually good.
Grade: B

Elevator To The Gallows (IFC)
Louise Malle's first film - this is a really good story about a guy who commits murder in the opening minutes of the film, then gets stuck in the elevator en route to escape and all the weird shit that goes on around the incident.
Grade: B

King Of Queens (CBS)
This show returns for one last 13 episode season. Aside from Carrie suddenly being model-thin again, and her hair looking like it might be a bad wig, this is the same funny show it's always been. Some have been better then others, and there's a noticeable lack of Arthur this season - and the show also has the air of something that's a dead issue re: the ending. I'm sure everybody's salary got too high.

It's a shame this never grew into more - Doug and Carrie should've had a kid towards the end (maybe they still will) and it seems like Doug and Arthur could've gotten further in their relationship - but this show's main concern has always been being funny - and aside from a funny but REALLY mean spirited episode that had Doug and Carrie trying to get rid of a dog, (what the fuck were they thinking?), the show has been as funny as ever. Partaker the strolling that had Arthur pimping out old people to sit in people's cars so they could use the rainbow lane (is that what it's called?) Anyway - good stuff. This will be missed.
Grade: A -

DEXTER (Showtime)
Great show. So-so ending. I thought they kind of de-fanged the ice cream truck killer in the last moments and really went for a foregone conclusion to the story. The side characters never really rise above the retarded machinations of late-era NYPD BLUE, but Michael C. Hall absolutely stuns as Dexter, and I can't wait for next season.
Season Finale: B -
Full Season Grade: A

SLEEPER CELL (Showtime)
I've watched the first 2 or 3 and it's good - though not quite as riveting as the first go round.
Grade: B -


THE NOTORIOUS BETTIE PAGE (DVD)
A much bigger bore then I ever would've expected, but whoever plays Bettie is as hot as a pistol - it's a shame the movie couldn't be as sexy as it's subject.
Grade: C -

WHO KILLED THE ELECTRIC CAR (DVD)
Great docu on the ill-fated electric car - a subject which makes a lot of people angry, since this was our shot at getting over our addiction to foreign oil. Nonetheless, the movie is worth the rental just to check out Mel Gibson's crazy beard.
Grade: B+

Jimmy Kimmel had Howard Stern on 2 Fridays ago and it was probably Howard's best talk show appearance in forever. I don't know how they put Howard in Jimmy's chair, being that Howard was in NY, but the off-air buddies and the ABC technology has now found an absolutely flawless way to have inter-state guests. Also hilarious was the superheroes re-enactment of Chanuka. Mr. Kimmel has been on quite a roll.

Grade: A

HOUSE (FOX)
House has been fun as usual, and thankfully, the Tritter storyline is coming to a close.
Grade: A

MY DATE WITH DREW (MAX)
Reminded me a lot of 30 DATES, another "cute" indie about a guy with a camera who thinks he's adorable because he has a camera. When he finally got his date with Drewtard I almost became nauseous.
Grade: D

SCARFACE (DVD PLATINUM EDITION)
I got suckered and bought this new edition with cleaned up sound - but you know what - the sound is now AWESOME. And there are some cool extras - but if you bought the box from 3 years ago, there's no reason to re-purchase. Best scene: too many to mention, but when Al tells the folks at the restaurant to "What are you looking at you fucking assholes? Say goodnight to the bad guy," there may be nothing else like that for a while.
Grade: A

EXTRAS (HBO ON DEMAND)
Been re-watching this Ricky Gervais show in anticipation of the new season - the first 3 were good - the last 3 eps were REALLY good. Still - it's no OFFICE.

REAL WORLD: COLORADO (MTV)
I like the new cast of developmentally challenged folks living together. Now, I hjust think they're going out of their way to pick out fucktards to live in the house.

BREAKING BONADUCE (VH1)
What a boring ending for such a usually crazy show.
SEASON FINALE: B -
FULL SEASON GRADE: B +


AWAKENINGS (DVD)
Re-watched this recently and forgot that this is one of the very best films of the 90s and a major tear jerker. Maybe Penny Marshal's finest hour as a director, ever. And perhaps Robin Williams finest acting until GOOD WILL HUNTING. There is also a haunting score to go along with it.
Grade: A +


24/7 (MTV)
Utterly fucking unwatchable.
Grade: F

STERN ON LETTERMAN (CBS)
Boring.

FROSTY THE SNOWMAN (CBS)
Great. Though I had completely forgotten the storyline with the crazy magician and his evil hat!

SNL: ANNETE BENNING AND GWEN STEPHANI (NBC)
As bad as it gets.
Grade: D

20/20 - the McDonalds prank caller case
Disgusting. (If you saw it.)

DR PHIL - DANNY & GRETCHEN BONADUCE (SYND)
I'm getting to the point where I've had quite enough of Mr. Bonaduce - what was so compelling last year seems very sad now - and I'm starting to not like her.


JARHEAD (HBO)
I didn't watch the last 20 minutes because it seemed to head into predictable territory, but Jake Gylenhall is really good - but Peter Skarsgard steals the show in this war movie based in Iraq.
Grade: C

HANNAH & HER SISTERS (DVD)
Saw this again recently - perfect film. Woody has made 4 perfect films which seem like sequels or rewrites of each other. Annie Hall is great, but Manhattan seems like the even better remake. Hannah is great, and CRIMES & MISDEMEANORS seems like a stellar sequel.
Grade: A+

30 ROCK (NBC)
Funniest new show of the season. Alec Baldwin is da bomb, y'all.
Grade: A


AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL (CW)
I can't remember who won. That can't be a good sign.

NIP/TUCK (FX)
Once again, what would Christmas be without a WILDLY off the rails NIP/TUCK doing what it does best - fucking up it's legacy. This year, they ripped off MAGNOLIA (???) and ended with the characters deciding to go to LA. Honestly - if you were someone following this show - this episode proved to be sort of a landmark in stupidity and indulgence. Can this show ever be saved? No.
Grade: D
But - If I were grading for sheer audacity and balls with no thought whatsoever to good storytelling: B

THE WIRE (HBO)
Brilliant ending to a brilliant next-to-last season. If season 5 is any bleaker, we may all kill ourselves.

Grade: A


THE BEST OF 2006

Best Talk show: JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE

Best Movie: Rocky Balboa, Babel, Borat, Jackass 2, Hard Candy, Who Killed The Electric Car, The Al Gore movie (forgot the name.)

Best TV Show: 30 Rock, THE OFFICE BBC, THE OFFICE AMERICA, Justice, Dexter, Weeds, The Sopranos, The Wire, King Of Queens, Family Guy, Entourage, Wonder Showzen, Drawn Together.

Best CDS: Meatloaf - Bat 3, My Chemical Romance, The KIlers - Tom's Town, Billy Joel - 12 Gardens Live (I admit, my musical taste runs a bit on the safe side.) But where was the new Dr. Drew CD they kept saying was coming out?

Best reason to get satellite radio: Howard Stern (and thanks for the plug!)

Too much stuff to mention, but thanks to everybody that read the blog this year, have a great holiday season, good luck and thanks for all the fish.

Shalom, Everybody.

Until Next Year,
The Digital Couch.

Seth Myers and Billy Crystal - two unfunny men.

SNL: MATTHEW FOX & TENASCIOUS D (NBC)
Mathew Fox was game but the skits were not, as usual. This is truly a season that rivals the one that Anthony Michael Hall and Robert Downy Jr. were in. It's just that bad. Even the once unflappable WEEKEND UPDATE has come to a grinding halt - Amy Poehler is great, but you can't make Seth Myers funny no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try - he sucks so bad it truly boggles the mind that he's still on the show, now the head writer, and has single handedly made UPDATE obsolete. Fuck Seth Myers. He seems like a nice enough guy, but let him work at Sam Goody. This is god awful tv. And the usually great Tenacious D, ironically, don't rock quite as hard when they have a full band behind them and they try so hard. A fucked Saturday night.
Grade: D (for the D)
F (for the show)
F - (for Seth Myers)


Help me - still haunted by Billy Crystal's racist impression of a black man during COMIC RELIEF - Michael Richard's has nothing on this guy - believe me - every time Crystal did that cliche'd black smile - people across America were killing themselves because they were embarrassed for him.

JUSTICE (ABC)
Even though ABC is just burning off these episodes, from what I understand, this great series is canceled. Justice had it all for a self-contained hour - usually juicy plots, credible cases, a star in Victor Gabor and a good supporting cast - including Eamonn Walker (Said from OZ) - and best of all, after the verdict is read, we see what really happened at the crime scene.
Justice, there is no justice. You will be missed. See the remaining eps while you can.
Grade: B +


SUPERMAN RETURNS: THE MOVIE (DVD) (Spoilers - sorry)
When I went to see this in the theatre, me and The Girl walked out after the first hour because NOTHING HAPPENED. It looked great, but really - NOTHING HAPPENED. So I got the dvd on Netflix, determined to finish the film but NOTHING HAPPENS. So we rode the fast forward on the dvd - seeing some very impressive flying sequences and some bad acting from the new Lois Lane and her husband (Brandon Routh as Superman is alright - he was just in need of a script.) Even the direction wasn't bad - it was just boring. And to top it all off - the plot makes NO SENSE. Superman says he was gone for 3 years because he heard his planet was still going, then returned to find nothing. Okay, in SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE we watched Superman circle the earth about a billion times in 30 seconds to turn back time. So why would it take him 3 years to find his planet? And why did Superman die 4 times in this movie? And why, when he was stabbed by an almost-menacing Lex Luthor (Spacey is ok, but could've REALLY done without Parker Posey and her Pomeranian yelping at him - talk about de-fanging your villain - the funny thing is - I think the first 2 Superman movies did the same thing by sticking Gene Hackman with some awful actress to bring in "the comedy." Wow, it doesn't work. I was waiting for Billy Crystal to walk in and give that stupid racially charged smile he did on COMIC RELIEF and talk about what it was like before SUPERMAN. Anyway - So Superman dies after Lex stabs him with the kryptonite (although - why would Lex then take it back out?) - then Superman falls into the water. The water, which just happens to be manned by an underwater helicopter driving by Lois Lane and her "seri-comic" new husband! They save him, yeah!!!! While I admire Bryan Singer's efforts to bring the franchise back to life, all he did was stab him with krypton again. This movie is the fucking pits.
Grade: F + (since the heart was in the right place.)


CLASSIC ALBUMS: NIRVANA: NEVERMIND (VH1)
If you're into the albums they're profiling, it doesn't get much better then having the producers and singers (when available) go back to the mixing board and wax on about the making of the album. Stellar, as always.
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH ULTIMATE ALBUMS - the US version, which fucked up the entire concept - forgetting about the album and just making the hour about the artist like any VH1 puff piece - STAY AWAY from ULTIMATE ALBUMS - it's shit. It's shit.
Grade: A


BABEL (DVD)
Me and The Girl watched the dvd of this last night - this year's CRASH. A multitude of stories, almost all, but one, compelling as hell. Brad Pitt gives a great performance, as does the rest of the mostly unknown actors. Though it doesn't quite have the same emotional impact as some of these movies do, it's a damn fine way to spend 2 1/2 hours (it's still in theaters - I had a screener.) The one story I don't believe - the most adorable Asian deaf girl who JUST COULDN"T GET ANYONE TO HAVE SEX WITH HER. While she was certainly fun to look at - the idea that this young model-like girl couldn't get anyone to like her was truly ridiculous and can only happen in the movies.
Grade: B +


HOWARD TV: ARTIE'S DATE DISCUSSION (ON DEMAND)
Okay, maybe I'm biased - but me and The Girl both were floored by the discussion of Artie Lange's date with the girl who won a date with Artie on the radio show. He spent the entire time talking about food, then ordered a rhinoceros burger, then took all of his own, and her food home in a doggy bag. I'm not kidding. Unbelievable. And mostly any one of these ON DEMAND shows is funnier then just about any sitcom you were going to watch instead.
Grade: A


PRISON BREAK (FOX - The Finale')
Thrilling as always - the momentum is crazy, the plot twist are insane, and T-Bag might be the greatest villain in the history of network tv, ever.
Grade: A


AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL (THE CW)
I think the finale is on tonite - if Melrose wins, there is no God.
Grade: B -


IKE & TINA TURNER IN 71 (PBS)
VERY COOL. Watching a young Tina Turner do RIVER DEEP, MOUNTAIN HIGH is an experience you don't soon forget. And when Ike wasn't beating her, she really shined.
Grade: A


HARD CANDY (DVD)
Just saw this movie on dvd - highly recommended. But not for the squeamish. It begins on a titilating note as a youngish 38 year old man meets a 14 year old girl in a coffee shop after engaging in some soft internet chat. She teases him until they get back to his place. I won't spoil what happens - but this is one of the much better acted and directed movies in the last year and now that it's on dvd, it's a must see. The girl who plays the 14 year old - solid gold. Lots of great extras and a lesson on how to make a small independent film with no money.
Grade: A

The Death Of Boston Legal

30 ROCK (NBC)
This is a really good show - last night's ep was particularly good. It's kind of cool that all the new Thursday Night shows on nbc this year are laugh track free. 30 ROCK is one of my new favorite shows, and again - last night's was kind of exceptional. But the show rarely lives up to the very funny pilot. It's a good show that I hope gets better - but this Rachel Dracht thing will probably haunt it for the rest of its existence. (She was supposed to play Jane K's character, but instead does these not quite that funny cameos that are truly beneath her. On the other hand, Tina Fey & Alec Baldwin are superb, particularly in their scenes together - and Tracy Morgan is right on the money when the script is serving him.
Grade: B


SCRUBS (NBC)
I watched this last night for the very first time - it was their 6th season prem. I remember trying to get into this show a few years back but not liking the style of it - that said, I thought most of last night was pretty funny - pretty bold, yet they still try to hard. But it did make me think that maybe this was one of the better comedies on the air. They do this quick style of jokes with sound effects that could probably have been rendered better - but they took chances with their storyline in an unusual way for a comedy.
Grade: C +


THE OFFICE (NBC)
We got a very special treat last night, as in an episode penned by Ricky Gervais (the original David Brent, creator of OFFICE BBC along with his partner, Stephen Merchant) - that was truly a cut above the usual episode. The laughs were harder, stranger, and you could almost hear the BBC OFFICE in the dialog. Great episode that Steve Carrel was incredibly funny in - and they should let those guys write more of these episodes. The Jim/Big Tuna/Pam stuff was GREAT. So was the reveal regarding an ex-con working at Dunder-Mifflen. It made me wonder what a OFFICE BBC reunion might be about - but they said they'd never revisit. And I guess that's for the best.
Grade: A


TRIBUTE TO JAMES TAYLER (PBS - I think?)
I didn't watch the whole thing yet, but just based on the first 40 minutes - the performers (including Springsteen, Costello, etc.) are fantastic and based just on what I've heard so far - this is one to record.
Grade: B+

God - did anybody see Billy Crystal on COMIC RELIEF doing that bad impression of a black man? He might want to kill himself after he sees the playback. Nothing I could say would prepare you for this.

THE WIRE (HBO)
Continues to great - one of the truly complex crime treatments on tv - I've been catching up on them
ON DEMAND and they never dissapoint. The humor is subtle and sly - and some of the scenes are just so bleak - even the actors I didn't like at the beginning are now in my favor.
Grade: A


MY BROTHER SCOTT
Came over and spent 9 hours fixing my computer problems when he was busy as shit with his own life.
Grade: A +


BORAT (IN THEATRES)
I think I was oversold on this one. Don't get me wrong - I loved it, have to own the dvd of it and will see it many more times on dvd and cable - but it's not quite as good as I'd been hyped to believe. Nonetheless, go with a crowd and laugh your head off at some truly inspired and insane and almost always profane situations.
Grade: A

FLIGHTPLAN (HBO)
Me and The Girl watched this for 20 minutes and decided life is too short. It's exactly what you think it is. Exactly.


BRICK (DVD)
Heard many good things about this teen thriller - me and The Girl tried for about 20 minutes - and was not able to make sense of any of it - so Brick, which sat like a brick in my dvd player for about a month, will be headed back to netflix without a fair review. Sorry.


FLASH GORDON (HBO)
A great, great relic of the 80s. And a truly fucking kick-ass score by Queen with some original songs and a shockingly good performance by Sam Jones as Flash, whose only credit later in life was living with Olivia Newton John for 13 years. But he was good here in this completely preposterous comic book adaption helped along by great performances (if over the top) from Topol as the mad scientist, Tim Dalton (Pre-Bond - he was great here) as a rival spaceman and Max Von Sydow right on the money as Ming the Merciless. This was a favorite of mine growing up, and it has a cult following. I'm surprised there hasn't been a dvd release yet, but I'm guessing there are music issues with Queen tying that up. But this is really deserving of a dvd treatment. As ridiculous as the various scenarios are, they're really exciting and you can really get into this movie, which gets much better after an awkward 20 minute opening sequence. Once they get to Ming's planet - things really get good in a 50s pulpy sort of way.
Grade: A

DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
Just keeps having great episodes. Just thought I'd mention that.


FIDDLER ON THE ROOF (MAX)
Watched with The Girl for about 40 minutes - what a great movie and a great, hammy performance from Topol. Singing and choreography are first rate - and Mel Gibson does a commentary track.


STUDIO 60 (NBS)
I love it/I hate it. I love it/I hate it.


BOSTON LEGAL (ABC)
D.O.A. TIME OF DEATH - this last episode 2 parter where Shirly is taken hostage. The show went brain dead when Denny and Alan talked extensivly (yet again) about their love of their "balcony time" and screaming "I love you" to each other. This would be great if the rest of the show were on the ball - but it's just like - filler to get Shatner and Spader in a room together. And boy, theyre sticking witht that insulting soundtrack. The shame of this show is it had true potential - great actors, David Kelly - awesome characters - but they just went a different way. And now I go mine. Boston Legal, R.I.P.

BOSTON LEGAL WILL NO LONGER BE REVIEWED HERE.


NIP/TUCK (FX)
On creative life support but barely ingesting oxygen. Another show with creative potention, but they seem so much more interested in these cut-rate bad thriller plots that they never become what the show should really be about - instead it's just...ridiculous. They're hanging onto my dvr by a thread.
Grade: D -


THE REAL WORLD: COLORADO (MTV)
Watched the first two. What a strange bunch this time around. Colie is ridiculous - that short girl that slept with Alex is a major wierdo - though she got off the early season's best line so far - after knowing Colie for less then 36 hours, she sleeps with someone she slept with hours earlier, and then declares "Screw that guy - Colie is someone I LOVE and who will be at my wedding!" So far, so good. Everyone seems to really hate each other.
Grade: B

THE SOPRANOS: ROAD 2 RESPECT ( PS2)
So far - a complete waste of all the SOPRANOS talents - But I haven't gotten that far yet - will let you know how game progresses. So far, a waste.