TO all the writers back at work, let's start today's reviews off with a review of a film that truly embraces the noble profession of writing:
BASIC INSTINCT 2: RISK ADDICTION (HBO)
I watched this on HBO over a few nights and I must say – for bad movies that are so bad they’re good – this one is GOLD. The most ridiculous plot, the most ridiculous dialog, the worst acting on every level – thank God they made this film. Best moment, where Sharon Stone stands in front of the shrink’s office, summons up the 80s and whispers to him in her weirdo retro “is this really sexy” kinda voice “So this is where we – do it?” And while she does not show the famous cookie again – she does take off her top in a Jacuzzi scene. I think Sharon is gorgeous for her age, at any age – but this shot of her topless by the Jacuzzi kind of reminded me of those shots of the older swingers who go to those horrifying swing parties with tons of food and older people…you get the idea.
Grade: F
as so – bad-it’s-good entertainment: A +
AMERICAN GLADIATORS (NBC)
I kind of get this show – but I still can’t believe what a hit it is. The contestants seem like money hungry dead eyed zombie soldiers, Hulk Hogan seems strange and a LONG way from the WWE or even his highly scripted and cloying and annoying reality show, and the whole thing is just…really low rent. The contestants come off like money starved junkies – always trying to get the tired crowd to cheer them on in their quest of the dollar bill. There is something just – too retro about this show somehow. And the stunts kind of seem like 3rd rate Jackass bits. This ain’t for me.
Grade: D
ROCK OF LOVE 2 (VH1)
This is one of the more fun reality shows on the air. While it’s somehow not yet as engaging as season 1, there is plenty to enjoy here. Still, the girls are not really “popping” like their season 1 counterparts just yet. I think the casting of year one was top notch and they just didn’t get the personalities this year. Or year 2 is one year too many. Not sure yet. But of course I’ll keep my eyes peeled.
Grade: B
JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE! (ABC)
Sarah Silverman’s “I’m Fucking Matt Damon” is one of the funniest things I’ve seen on TV in a long time. Go here to see this clip:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=LA5BnTrFAx0
(I have NO IDEA why my links aren't working - but in the meantime - cut and paste.)
And if that wasn’t great enough – on the same show this clip initially aired, Jimmy and Sarah also gave a major shout out to the incredible KEN WAHL (but no Sarah, you don’t look like him.) However, for those of you that don’t know me personally, I seriously do.
And this seems like a good time to plug WISEGUY, one of the greatest crime dramas ever made – only there is no real proper way to watch it these days. The DVD sets are all fucked up, out of sequence and missing key musical numbers, and the set is at least a season and a movie incomplete. How is it that two of our best crime shows ever – WISEGUY and HILL STREET BLUES are unrepresented on DVD? HILL ST. only got two seasons out there before FOX decided it wasn’t making enough money to honor the greatest cop show of it’s time. The situation for both shows is tragic – truly.
Back to Kimmel, who I think now has the best late night talk show on the air, Jimmy hit pay dirt again by having long time friend and creative collaborator Adam Carolla on his show. Adam and Jimmy are truly great together on the air, and the segment peaked with the funniest clip that had Adam’s young boy crying bloody murder over a segment of SESEME STREET that truly upset him. (the segment in question deals with a wheelchair bound kid.)
I fell asleep during AMERICAN IDOL last night. I think we just need to get to the competition. Maybe next year they don’t have to show us every audition – especially in its current, over produced form. My guess is that if you go back and look at seasons 1 & 2, you can see the auditions are a lot more low tech and fun – witness Clay’s initial audition. No tons of background footage to wink at the audience to let us know he’s in – just an audition that changed everything Simon thought an IDOL should look like. Anyway – the show just seems kind of dull so far. Maybe things will perk up during the competitive phase.
BOB DYLAN
I’ve been listening a lot lately to BLONDE ON BLONDE and BLOOD ON THE TRACKS. Great CDs. I don’t know how I kind of missed out on Dylan – but I’m becoming a big fan. 30 years later. Go figure. VISIONS OF JOHANNA and BABY BLUE are great songs.
MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER (BRAVO)
Lonnie Moore, one of my best friends, friend to this blog, and, with Mike Boogie – the two guys who redefined hip eateries in L.A. (Geisha House, Bella, Dolce’, the late-great BELLY – and even the place where starlets go when they want to be bad, Le Deux) – was the subject of this dating show for women who want to hook up with the guys with the big bank accounts. I haven’t watched many of these, but I watched Lonnies’ and loved it mostly because he was really himself and didn’t bother to listen to the rules and made the show really entertaining. Stay tuned for an excusive with Lonnie in the next blog about his experience, plus an interview with Mike Boogie and Dr. Will about the upcoming season of BIG BROTHER (Which I’m very excited about.)
SHOW GRADE: B –
LONNIE SEGMENT: A +
NIP/TUCK (FX)
Continues its 3 season descent into hell. How deep can they go? I think Ryan Murphy might need an intervention. The last few seasons have been as bad as the first few seasons were good. It’s now at ground zero.
Grade: F
THE WIRE (HBO)
Is getting so good in its last few eps, it’s criminal to put this show to bed. But what a way to go. Beware of Omar.
Grade: A
HOUSE (FOX)
Laura Silverman rocked the house as a recently married orthodox Jew who collapses in her wedding dress on the big day. Religion and science clashed, and as it turned out, neither was really right. Great episode. Great performance by Laura Silverman. And whoever played her religious husband was also right on the money. And House approves of Wilson’s new girlfriend – the cold hearted bitch – though I never quite got that vibe from the actress.
Grade: A
JANICE DICKINSON AGENCY (OXY)
The big showdown with Peter is coming – be there. I guess. I like this show – but at a full hour – it’s a bit much.
Grade: C
MIKE DOUGLAS DOCUMENTARY (PBS)
Wow – Mike Douglas was the man. I’m amazed. I’m too young too really remember him – yet he had on a 4 year old Tiger Woods hitting golf balls, a pre-CHIPS Eric Estrada, Lennon and Yoko after their declared love-in, he had everybody! He was fearless and funny – yet he could hang back and let the guests do their thing. But that scene with Tiger – his dad had brought him on to hit a golf ball. It’s a pretty amazing moment you can probably see on YOUTUBE. Also – the Douglas show was 90 minutes – so it wasn’t just comedy. They had on serious political figures and the clips – my God, there is one of Copolla and Brando right after shooting GODFATHER – it’s just kind of unbelievable. I highly recommend what is now a DVD. I think you can get it here:
http://www.amazon.com/Mike-Douglas-Moments-Memories-Hitchcock/dp/B0012EM5CO/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1202404556&sr=8-1
THE APPRENTICE: CELEB EDITION (NBC)
Jimmy Kimmel said recently that Omorosa is only a celebrity to Donald Trump. I think that’s hilarious – and her anti-social ways continue to tweak this celeb edition and make it interesting. Thought I don’t know that they’ll ever top the 2 hour Peirs – Vince Pastore smackdown from last week. This edition is a major winner.
Grade: B
CLOVERFIELD (IN THEATERS)
What can I say? I loved the opening, except that NONE of the dialog really rung true or real or anything. People in our century actually DO know how to work digital video cameras – this was a FANTASTIC conceit and the first few shots of the mayhem through the video was great – but nothing here was earned and in the end, it was just a conceit and not a real move. If I had anything to compare it with, it would obviously be BLAIR WITCH, who did a hell of a lot more with a hell of a lot less. See, in BLAIR, you actually believed in the characters – so when they got into the satanic shit, you were actually scared for them. This is more of a freak show with people that don’t’ really resemble anyone I know. Still, I admire the film on its own terms.
Grade: C +
THE GRAMMY AWARDS (CBS)
Okay, where do I begin. Alicia Keys was somewhat annoying in her duet with the very dead Sinatra (“You tell em’, Frank”) – okay, we get it – he’s dead. You don’t need to hang a fat hook on it by talking to the dead person in a very….condescending way. Anyway – she redeemed herself by singing a GREAT version of NO ONE – her awesome single from her great new CD. Other than that – I don’t know – I FF a lot of it – so much boring jazz, and such. The Hancock win? Here we go again. I’ve always said that the GRAMMYS are the least important awards show because it’s extremely based on sales and goofy ideas. The list of greats who haven’t even been nominated would shock you. Do you know that Milli Vanilli beat Terence Trend D’Arby for best new artist back in the day? More to the point, the entire show was really a tribute to the tortured, troubled and fantastic singer Amy Winehouse. Amy won almost everything she was nominated for, which was heartening, then did a really borderline scary/playful perf. Of both “YOU KNOW I’m NO GOOD” and a really wink-wink version of “Rehab.” I think she’s getting her game back – she’s a troubled girl, but she’s a true original – which is a real commodity in music these days. For Nat Cole to come out and say “I think we should not award Amy for her behavior…blah blah blah “ Really – fuck you, Cole. She’s being nominated because people love the music. You think your life is so fantastic – I’d love to see the file on you and everybody you’ve fucked over in your life.
Grade: B
AMY WINEHOUSE PERF: A
THIS JUST IN FROM www.thesuperficial.com
Multiple Grammy winner Natalie Cole made a stink yesterday to People about Amy Winehouse's wins at the Grammys:
"I don't think she should have won. I think it sends a bad message to our young people who are trying to get into this business, the ones who are trying to do it right and really trying to keep themselves together," said Cole, 58. "We have to stop rewarding bad behavior."
This would be all well and good if Natalie Cole didn't have a long history of crack use according to her Wikipedia bio:
Cole continued to spiral out of control - including one incident where she refused to evacuate a burning building, and another where her young son Robert nearly drowned in the family swimming pool while she and her first husband, the late Reverend Marvin Yancy, were on a drug binge.
Natalie Cole won a bunch of Grammys and was a crackhead, so I think it's only fair that Amy Winehouse gets to win a bunch and also be a crackhead.
TIM AND ERIC”S AWESOME SHOW (TOON)
Okay, you may have to be under the influence of something to properly enjoy this, however – if you ARE – tune into this hilarious fucking steam of conciseness show that parodies EVERYTHING.
Grade: A
ROBOT CHICKEN (TOON)
Same review as above – a tad more mainstream, just as beguiling.
Grade: A
THE SOPRANOS (DVD)
What better way to celebrate the ending of the WGA strike than by watching two stellar episodes of this towering show? I caught both LONG TERM PARKING and ALL DUE RESPECT – the last 2 eps of the 5th season. LONG TERM was written by the great Terry Winter, and dealt mostly with the mounting problems of Adriana – who had nowhere to run in this ep. The fact that this show took these people that we LOVED (Christopher, Tony and Silvio were directly responsible for her getting killed) and still – in that very last episode with Tony sliding down the snow banks in order to evade the Feds – we really loved these characters. Just about no matter what they did. I know I’ve said there will never be another show like this again – I might actually be starting to believe it.
Don’t ask me why , but I’d simply kill for a dvd of THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE.
THE KING OF KONG (DVD)
Two guys. One game. One high score. This was one of the very best docus I have seen in a long time. It was really funny and somehow inspiring. It's about these two very different guys who have been battling it out for the DONKEY KONG high score - but it's a lot more than that. It's a real look at the world of classic gaming, and some of the characters here are simply...the best. It reminded me in a really good way of AMERICAN MOVIE. You should rent this.
Grade: A
2008/02/04
THE GIANTS!
THE APPRENCTICE: CELEB EDITION (NBC)
Pierce and Vincent Pastore had the best thing going ever on this weeks special 2 hour edition. Pierce sent Pastore to rat on the girls, then gave him up while he was still under, unaware that Pastore had become a double agent. Okay – Vincent Pastore the actor, historic as Big Pussy – is somewhat out of his mind. But the show was great, it deserved it’s 2 hour running time, and the SOPRANOS joke at the end with the Journey song was fairly priceless.
Grade: B +
ELI STONE (ABC)
I hadn’t heard too much about this show before it aired, and ended up really loving it. Jonny Lee Miller plays Eli, a cutthroat lawyer who begins to have hallucinations (including George Michael singing FAITH – which includes cameos by Mr. Michael.) He eventually is diagnosed with an inoperable brain aneurysm, and the show, which also includes the great actor Victor Garbor, is about Eli’s decision to change who he is. The show is well written with humor and compassion, and I highly recommend it. In a box full of cynical, negative shows – this one with the heart wins.
Grade: A
THE SUPERBOWL (FOX)
What a game. This was the first time in a long time I wanted to put money on the Giants. I was at the greatest superbowl party and was too busy stuffing my face to watch the commercials or the halftime show – I can just say this was one of the very best games and dramas in a long line of boring superbowls. This game ruled.
Grade: A
THE WIRE (HBO)
Is getting really tense in its final few episodes. While the story goes on, there are some clear signs of finish, resolve and "adios, pal" in the air. THE WIRE - will be greatly missed. The scenes last week involving “Proposition Joe” were fantastic.
Grade: A +
LOST (ABC)
"Through The Looking Glass" - a 2 hour repeat of the mind-bending season finale that aired last year. What a great concept for the re-airing - a sort of "pop up video" with all kinds of theories and facts about the show. I forgot just how insanely good this 2 hour finale was, and I can't WAIT for the new eps to start rolling out next week. From what I know, there are 8 that are filmed - so who knows - but I'm sure the 8 will hold me over for a while. It's very rare that a show rebounds the way this one did - the third season started truly horribly - the fact that it got so good is a testament to the writing and care that the producers and creators invested into this very special show.
UPDATE: By the end of the 2 hours, the “pop-up” stuff had become really cloying, annoying and started to make me hate the show. (BEST WEEK EVER echoed my statements, saying they started out being really helpful, and the pop ups got downright chatty!) Please ABC, never do that again.
Grade: A (It’s still a superb episode) And no, I haven’t watched the new one yet.
AMERICAN IDOL (FOX)
Yawn. Sigh. Yawn. Bring on the competition.
THE BAD GIRLS CLUB (OXY)
These chicks are insane! I love how that chick LYRIC thinks she's above it all. And I love how that chick who claims to be a radio host (what host leaves for 5 months to be on a reality tv show???) - is just such a follower and NEVER a leader of anything that goes on in the house. This is truly insane television - I love it.
Grade: B
NIP/TUCK (FX)
Gina left the show - I had no idea she was still on it. I don't remember her coming back. This episode, which also featured an older woman forcing her young lover to get a mustache implant (?) - was actually more in the vein of the still crappy - but better Nip/Tuck. There were strong themes and flashes of actual with and some profound statements. Unfortunately, it was ruined by the casual way the writers have treated the break up of Christian and Julia (or the coming breakup) and the cheap way they exploited AIDS in this episode. Still, for a show that's on life support, this was definitely one of the season's better showings. And that's saying a lot. And I guess, in the end, Gina was a monster, but she was a great character and her final speech might've been the last time we'll ever see some good Nip/Tuck. That said, Sharon Gless is unusually good in the role of the agent. God, this show used to have it all. Now it's just such patchwork. Good parts here, terrible parts here, a decent episode here, the worst episode in their history there - like I've said in the past, Ryan Murphy should write a great batch of eps that step up the NIP/TUCK endgame and get out while they still have a legacy. One more season - and I think this will have stepped over into PICKET FENCES territory - where the latter, bad 4 seasons truly outweigh the first 2 good seasons. Still, how many times are we going to have a woman in Christian’s life tell him “what a piece of shit he is and that sex is the only blah, blah, blah.”
Grade: B –
NIP/TUCK (FX)
Another show airs – another true piece of crap. This one had Sharon Gless’ increasingly demented agent stuff a live CAA agent with teddy bear stuffing. And it wasn’t funny, nor satiric. Just really dumb. Like the whole show.
Grade: D
Pierce and Vincent Pastore had the best thing going ever on this weeks special 2 hour edition. Pierce sent Pastore to rat on the girls, then gave him up while he was still under, unaware that Pastore had become a double agent. Okay – Vincent Pastore the actor, historic as Big Pussy – is somewhat out of his mind. But the show was great, it deserved it’s 2 hour running time, and the SOPRANOS joke at the end with the Journey song was fairly priceless.
Grade: B +
ELI STONE (ABC)
I hadn’t heard too much about this show before it aired, and ended up really loving it. Jonny Lee Miller plays Eli, a cutthroat lawyer who begins to have hallucinations (including George Michael singing FAITH – which includes cameos by Mr. Michael.) He eventually is diagnosed with an inoperable brain aneurysm, and the show, which also includes the great actor Victor Garbor, is about Eli’s decision to change who he is. The show is well written with humor and compassion, and I highly recommend it. In a box full of cynical, negative shows – this one with the heart wins.
Grade: A
THE SUPERBOWL (FOX)
What a game. This was the first time in a long time I wanted to put money on the Giants. I was at the greatest superbowl party and was too busy stuffing my face to watch the commercials or the halftime show – I can just say this was one of the very best games and dramas in a long line of boring superbowls. This game ruled.
Grade: A
THE WIRE (HBO)
Is getting really tense in its final few episodes. While the story goes on, there are some clear signs of finish, resolve and "adios, pal" in the air. THE WIRE - will be greatly missed. The scenes last week involving “Proposition Joe” were fantastic.
Grade: A +
LOST (ABC)
"Through The Looking Glass" - a 2 hour repeat of the mind-bending season finale that aired last year. What a great concept for the re-airing - a sort of "pop up video" with all kinds of theories and facts about the show. I forgot just how insanely good this 2 hour finale was, and I can't WAIT for the new eps to start rolling out next week. From what I know, there are 8 that are filmed - so who knows - but I'm sure the 8 will hold me over for a while. It's very rare that a show rebounds the way this one did - the third season started truly horribly - the fact that it got so good is a testament to the writing and care that the producers and creators invested into this very special show.
UPDATE: By the end of the 2 hours, the “pop-up” stuff had become really cloying, annoying and started to make me hate the show. (BEST WEEK EVER echoed my statements, saying they started out being really helpful, and the pop ups got downright chatty!) Please ABC, never do that again.
Grade: A (It’s still a superb episode) And no, I haven’t watched the new one yet.
AMERICAN IDOL (FOX)
Yawn. Sigh. Yawn. Bring on the competition.
THE BAD GIRLS CLUB (OXY)
These chicks are insane! I love how that chick LYRIC thinks she's above it all. And I love how that chick who claims to be a radio host (what host leaves for 5 months to be on a reality tv show???) - is just such a follower and NEVER a leader of anything that goes on in the house. This is truly insane television - I love it.
Grade: B
NIP/TUCK (FX)
Gina left the show - I had no idea she was still on it. I don't remember her coming back. This episode, which also featured an older woman forcing her young lover to get a mustache implant (?) - was actually more in the vein of the still crappy - but better Nip/Tuck. There were strong themes and flashes of actual with and some profound statements. Unfortunately, it was ruined by the casual way the writers have treated the break up of Christian and Julia (or the coming breakup) and the cheap way they exploited AIDS in this episode. Still, for a show that's on life support, this was definitely one of the season's better showings. And that's saying a lot. And I guess, in the end, Gina was a monster, but she was a great character and her final speech might've been the last time we'll ever see some good Nip/Tuck. That said, Sharon Gless is unusually good in the role of the agent. God, this show used to have it all. Now it's just such patchwork. Good parts here, terrible parts here, a decent episode here, the worst episode in their history there - like I've said in the past, Ryan Murphy should write a great batch of eps that step up the NIP/TUCK endgame and get out while they still have a legacy. One more season - and I think this will have stepped over into PICKET FENCES territory - where the latter, bad 4 seasons truly outweigh the first 2 good seasons. Still, how many times are we going to have a woman in Christian’s life tell him “what a piece of shit he is and that sex is the only blah, blah, blah.”
Grade: B –
NIP/TUCK (FX)
Another show airs – another true piece of crap. This one had Sharon Gless’ increasingly demented agent stuff a live CAA agent with teddy bear stuffing. And it wasn’t funny, nor satiric. Just really dumb. Like the whole show.
Grade: D
2008/01/28
Pop Goes My Heart!
MUSIC & LYRICS (HBO)
This was much cuter than I had anticipated. The opening sequence with the bad 80s video "Pop Goes My Heart" with Hugh Grant was great, and Drew Barrymore is better than usual here. I kind of loved the setup, hated all the stuff with Drew and her ex (he wrote a book about her????) - all that stuff sucked. And yes, this film also does the usual thing of having the guy declare his love for Drew in front of no less than 2,000 people. What is UP with that? Still - okay film.
Grade: C +
POP GOES MY HEART MUSIC VIDEO:
Grade: A!
60 MINUTES - Roger Clemmons
Wow - if he did take steroids - how can he lie like that? And if he didn't - how can that other guy lie like that? However - give us all a break - Clemmons took - and so does everyone else in the MLB - how can you compete against steroid heads without being one yourself? It's a problem - but boy, Clemmons was fucking feisty on that show. I also liked the interview with the contract killer who was protected by immunity.
I had an epiphany while at TARGET this weekend - Larry King is the forefather of the blog! 15 years ago - actually - I'm running out - but I will explain this in better detail next blog. What a cliffhanger.
ON DEMAND has some cool THE WIRE prequels. They're about 2 minutes, a little simplistic, but fun. Speaking of which, THE WIRE has been GREAT.
I gave up on PLANET TERROR and just decided to wait until the full GRINDHOUSE dvd comes out and watch it in that manner. Besides DUSK TILL DAWN I have yet to be able to really love a Robert Rodriguez film. I didn't even love SIN CITY, even though I admired it.
AMERICAN IDOL continues. Ho hum. Simon is being too nice and Paula is being way too normal. Wait till the actual show starts and Paula is on her pills - sparks will fly!
THE EELS
There is a new cd that came out called MEET THE EELS: THE ESSENTIAL EELS. The Eels are one of my very favorite bands and I highly reccomend this collection of 2 discs worth of songs and 1 dvd full of unreleased videos.
NIP/TUCK (F/X)
How much fucking stupider can this get? Rosie must leave the show NOW! The idea that she's now in charge of that fake tv show with that overblown fake NY accent and the bad acting - seriously - the show needs to end. It can't sustain itself anymore - will SOMEBODY please put this aching beast out of its misery?
Grade: D -
TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNER CHRONICLES (FOX)
I gave this about 3 eps. This really did have its heart in the right place, but it just seemed like a low budget T2 remake, with weirdish acting. Imagine if James Cameron came back and really put some work into the TERMINATOR franchise? I mean - part one was great, part 2 was the best action film of all time. Part 3? This tv show? I don't know - I think the dream is over.
E.R. (NBC)
They tried to make Abbey go to Rehab and she said "yeah, yeah, yeah." So - things seems to be slowing down at the ER storywise, though it was great to see Gloria Rueben reprise her AIDS infected Jeanie Buolet. Other than that, it seems the show is getting into it's final game plan.
28 WEEKS LATER (DVD)
The sequel to the superb 28 DAYS LATER. This one was great - up until exactly the half way mark. Then it got really off track. I don't want to spoil the plot - but they had something great going - and they could've milked it to the end - why they chose to fuck up their own movie I have no idea - but basically - if you've seen it -they introduce a really fantastic idea into this - then do a slash and burn on it leaving the last half hour about...you see - I'm not a spoiler so I can't go any further - however, based on the first half and the wobbly if well executed 2nd half -this is still a good rental.
Grade: B -
THE APPRENTICE: CELEB EDITION (NBC)
This week was all about Gene Simmons and what a weird, strange man he is. He must get his hair straightened by the worst possible butchers. And he's funny and charasmatic. So where did it all go wrong? He didn't meet with the clients and had no clear idea of what it was he was selling. But he was a great contestant and I was sad to see him go. I just can't wait for the Stephen Baldwin / Big Pussy confrontation that seems to be brewing. I have no idea why this is working so well.
Grade: B
This was much cuter than I had anticipated. The opening sequence with the bad 80s video "Pop Goes My Heart" with Hugh Grant was great, and Drew Barrymore is better than usual here. I kind of loved the setup, hated all the stuff with Drew and her ex (he wrote a book about her????) - all that stuff sucked. And yes, this film also does the usual thing of having the guy declare his love for Drew in front of no less than 2,000 people. What is UP with that? Still - okay film.
Grade: C +
POP GOES MY HEART MUSIC VIDEO:
Grade: A!
60 MINUTES - Roger Clemmons
Wow - if he did take steroids - how can he lie like that? And if he didn't - how can that other guy lie like that? However - give us all a break - Clemmons took - and so does everyone else in the MLB - how can you compete against steroid heads without being one yourself? It's a problem - but boy, Clemmons was fucking feisty on that show. I also liked the interview with the contract killer who was protected by immunity.
I had an epiphany while at TARGET this weekend - Larry King is the forefather of the blog! 15 years ago - actually - I'm running out - but I will explain this in better detail next blog. What a cliffhanger.
ON DEMAND has some cool THE WIRE prequels. They're about 2 minutes, a little simplistic, but fun. Speaking of which, THE WIRE has been GREAT.
I gave up on PLANET TERROR and just decided to wait until the full GRINDHOUSE dvd comes out and watch it in that manner. Besides DUSK TILL DAWN I have yet to be able to really love a Robert Rodriguez film. I didn't even love SIN CITY, even though I admired it.
AMERICAN IDOL continues. Ho hum. Simon is being too nice and Paula is being way too normal. Wait till the actual show starts and Paula is on her pills - sparks will fly!
THE EELS
There is a new cd that came out called MEET THE EELS: THE ESSENTIAL EELS. The Eels are one of my very favorite bands and I highly reccomend this collection of 2 discs worth of songs and 1 dvd full of unreleased videos.
NIP/TUCK (F/X)
How much fucking stupider can this get? Rosie must leave the show NOW! The idea that she's now in charge of that fake tv show with that overblown fake NY accent and the bad acting - seriously - the show needs to end. It can't sustain itself anymore - will SOMEBODY please put this aching beast out of its misery?
Grade: D -
TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNER CHRONICLES (FOX)
I gave this about 3 eps. This really did have its heart in the right place, but it just seemed like a low budget T2 remake, with weirdish acting. Imagine if James Cameron came back and really put some work into the TERMINATOR franchise? I mean - part one was great, part 2 was the best action film of all time. Part 3? This tv show? I don't know - I think the dream is over.
E.R. (NBC)
They tried to make Abbey go to Rehab and she said "yeah, yeah, yeah." So - things seems to be slowing down at the ER storywise, though it was great to see Gloria Rueben reprise her AIDS infected Jeanie Buolet. Other than that, it seems the show is getting into it's final game plan.
28 WEEKS LATER (DVD)
The sequel to the superb 28 DAYS LATER. This one was great - up until exactly the half way mark. Then it got really off track. I don't want to spoil the plot - but they had something great going - and they could've milked it to the end - why they chose to fuck up their own movie I have no idea - but basically - if you've seen it -they introduce a really fantastic idea into this - then do a slash and burn on it leaving the last half hour about...you see - I'm not a spoiler so I can't go any further - however, based on the first half and the wobbly if well executed 2nd half -this is still a good rental.
Grade: B -
THE APPRENTICE: CELEB EDITION (NBC)
This week was all about Gene Simmons and what a weird, strange man he is. He must get his hair straightened by the worst possible butchers. And he's funny and charasmatic. So where did it all go wrong? He didn't meet with the clients and had no clear idea of what it was he was selling. But he was a great contestant and I was sad to see him go. I just can't wait for the Stephen Baldwin / Big Pussy confrontation that seems to be brewing. I have no idea why this is working so well.
Grade: B
2008/01/20
Happy New Year! First blog of 2008!
LATE NITE: THE REVIEWS:
THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO (NBC)
JAY LENO. In the words of that ill-fated character from that really funny movie I can’t remember the name of’ “Wha’ happened?” He USED to be a comic. He used to be really funny. He used to eat roast beef sandwiches on the Letterman show in between being hilarious. Now, the show is…I don’t know – he does this bad, pandering monologues. The jokes are solid, but his delivery is full of insecurity. Like a dog that needs his belly rubbed. So yes, he has no writers, and no, I can’t tell much of a difference. He does earn points, though - for appearing very honest during his last bunch of shows, and frankly, I can’t even tell the difference in his monologue – but is he really writing it on his own???? Who cares. The best thing he ever did was have Jimmy Kimmel on as a guest – that was a CLASS MOVE and one of the better interviews he’s ever done.
GRADE: C +
THE LATE, LATE SHOW with CRAIG FERGUSON (CBS)
Ferguson - As insignificant as before the strike. Boy, do I not get this one. He was fine on DREW CARRY – but really, in the however many years he’s been on, not once has anyone ever said to me, nor have I ever overheard, nor will I ever over hear “Did you catch Ferguson last night?”
GRADE: D +
LATE NIGHT with CONAN O’BRIEN (NBC)
We're going on something like 13 years without Conan making me laugh - without his writers - he's actually making me frown. His videotaped "guitar hero" bit was the unfunniest moment of the new year. So many of my friends and associates just love him – and I will admit – he has GREAT writers and there are many inspired bits. But Conan himself? Unfunny. Always has been, always will be. The worst interviewer in the world – on par with Tyra Banks. I’m not kidding. Have you seen him conduct an interview. He lets the celeb say something, than he interrupts with a shockingly unfunny self deprecating remark. I guess he really is the white Tyra Banks. Although, Tyra is clearly insane. I don’t think Conan’s actually insane – just really, really REALLY not funny.
Grade: D
THE LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN (CBS)
Letterman - Looked very manly with his beard - and his show was just flat-out funny. He had writers, and Letterman just happens to be funny and nearly at the top of his game. His top ten list with out of work writers was particularly funny. As the weeks have gone on, what can I say – the guy is just late night gold.
Grade: A -
KIMMEL LIVE! With JIMMY KIMMEL (ABC)
The very best of the lot. Jimmy was just himself, funny and charming, and Andy Dick was very funny as well as the first picket crossing guest. Jimmy’s monologue has been very interesting, and he’s truly a gifted ad-libber. And as far as the future of late nite, Kimmel is the one to watch.
Jimmy Kimmel was really funny with Dr. Drew talking about CELEB REHAB. He called Jeff Conway criminally insane and among the living dead. I love his MOMENTS OF THE PAST which pays his on strike staff residuals. I wish he’d dig into the closet from the summer of 06’ – now there was some comedy bit GOLD! But Kimmel is the guy, and if they put him on at 11 30, I think he would give all these guys a serious run for their money. Having Jay on was great, and hands down the funniest Jay's been since his pre-Tonight show days. That "monkey-in-a-cup" story was laugh out loud funny. Jay actually rocked on Jimmy's show. They should do that more often.
Grade: A +
SWEENEY TODD (DVD SCREENER)
Johnny Depp is brilliant and haunted in one of his best roles ever. Tune wise, he sort of channels David Bowie (Mark G. pointed that out to me) and succeeds much more in song than I ever would’ve suspected. Helena Bonham Carter is just okay – but the tragic tale and revenge blood lust take center stage in this lavishly produced, extremely dark musical. I enjoyed it, but at just under 2 hours, it drags a bit, and as usual with Tim Burton directing, the story could’ve been a bit clearer.
Grade: A
BEST NIGHT EVER (VH1)
A five minute version of BEST WEEK EVER – I love this show – so I’ll take it every night, but the format here is very different with only one comic doing some bits and the overall quality isn’t as funny – but it’s good – and only five minutes.
GRADE: B -
BIGGEST LOSER: COUPLES (NBC)
I had never really watched this before but I have quickly become a huge fan. This couples idea is great and let’s face it – it’s just really fun to watch seriously overweight people lose a lot of weight and see that transformation. But I can’t believe how fat some of the people are when they start – there is one guy on there that was over 400 pounds. He’s now lost about 40 pounds and the only minute difference I can spot is that his tits are now sagging about a half inch lower.
Grade: B +
AMERICAN DAD (FOX)
"TEARJERKER" This was a full on 007 spoof that worked SO well – you just had to be there.
Grade: A -
DR. DREW'S CELEB REHAB (VH1)
Wow, where do I begin. Mary Carry literally looks like she’s there to get stoned and laid from the guy from CRAZY TOWN. She is such a complete moron I can’t believe that drugs are her number one problem. I loved when she said “Some people also know me from politics.” Yes, as the crazy porn star who made a ridiculous bid for office that included porn. About 4 years ago I was at Oddysey Video on Lankershim and I was innocently renting some dvds when Mary Carry came in – asked me to hold a camera, and photograph her with the two guys behind the front desk. Right as I was about to click, Ms. Carry pulled down her top. I will always remember that and be grateful to Ms. Carry, however, she has to be one of the more ridiculous “celebrities” out there. She was told at the beginning by Dr. Drew that “no drugs and no sex” were part of the routine there, so she brings her own porno tapes and says “At least I can watch myself have sex!” Yeah, she’s getting cured. I have no idea who the guy from CRAZYTOWN is, but he reminds me of a less angry Vanilla Ice. Chyna Doll is sort of a train wreck, as is Brigitte Nielson, who actually does seem to take this a bit seriously. But the hands down, bat shit crazy spectacle of this entire show, and a man I’d like to see get his own comical half hour next season, has to be the hilarious Jeff Conway. Man, he is so fucked up – he video’d himself doing blow the entire night before he got there – and he can’t actually talk. I mean, the guy who used to crack me up on TAXI can’t talk. Even after his rest he came out and reminded me of one of the patients in AWAKENINGS before they got the miracle drug. And Jessica Sierra – I know she was on IDOL, I know she has been in and out of jail, I know she is expecting both a baby and a porn film she did for drugs. I think the porno arrives first. And the show is surprisingly real and candid and with the exception of Mary Carry and Daniel Baldwin, who appears to be in an infomercial for himself, you can’t help but feel incredibly empathetic towards these people (I hate to use the term celebrity – as some of them I have never heard of) – but – just the fact that they’re in there getting help is actually heartening. Is it completely exploitive? Completely. But if Dr. Drew can make Jeff Conway talk again, then the entire enterprise was worth it.
Grade: A
UPDATE: I just watched the second episode – apparently Jeff Conway has two personalities: comatose and explosively angry. All kidding aside, this show is serious about calling these guys out on their bullshit, Dr. Drew is a perfect host and doctor on this, and I’m actually rooting for every one of these people to get better – they all really need it. Although I swear Daniel Baldwin is there simply to make jokes and get some face time.
Grade: A
SCOTT BAIO IS 46 and PREGNANT
After a mildly fun, mildly scripted first season, this show is back for an even less fun, more scripted season. The scripting at the beginning of the show was laughable.
Grade: D
ROCK OF LOVE 2
This is the one! I don’t know what it is about this setup, but Bret Michaels is absolutely the man to be doing this show – and the girls they are getting on are crazy in the BEST POSSIBLE WAY. But don’t threaten me with a good time.
Grade: A
I LOVE NY SEASON 2: THE REUNION (VH1)
NY and Taylor Made find love! But…are those grainy images true – is there a NY sex tape on the way????.....if you have info on this alleged tape, links, descriptions, screen shots, please send them to this blog so I can personally help New York out and find the culprit! Send your info to
TheDigitalCouch@aol.com
By the way – if there are any comments, questions or anything you want to talk about – please drop me a line at that email.
DAN IN REAL LIFE (DVD SCREENER)
Wow – this was SO much better than I ever would’ve thought. Carrel is pitch perfect – and Dane Cook – God Bless him – he’s fine in this role. Anything that doesn’t have comedy in it – Dane seems to succeed in – so basically, Dane Cook started this entire MYSPACE revolution to become this big comic based on his internet audience (and not, sad to say, on his "scary dangerous comedy.) And as it turns out – not only does he fucking SUCK at anything resembling comedy, but he turns out to be a decent character actor. Go figure. Meanwhile, the film is terrific and Steve Carrel, after grating everyone’s nerves all year on the increasingly fucking horrible OFFICE, reminds us just how great and subtle an actor he can really be. And touching. Recommended.
Grade: B +
BOSTON LEGAL (ABC)
What the hell happened? How did this show get good all of a sudden? The recent ep where Shatner took on a murder case by himself was terrific.
Grade: B –
WIFE SWAP (ABC)
I know this is a particularly low rent show, but it rocks.
Grade: C +
THE APPRENTICE: CELEBRITY EDITION (NBC)
Wow, this show has gotten exactly the right makeover. The celebs are mostly people you’ve heard of at least. For me, it’s fun to see Big Pussy Pastore try to operate with humans. But the real draw here is the insanely unlikable Omarosa, who could literally give lessons on how to alienate everybody around you simply by opening your mouth.
UPDATE: I watched the 2nd ep – where Nadia Commenichi gets fired! How dare Trump! But this version of the show is terrific.
Grade: B -
THE JANICE DICKINSON SHOW (OXY)
A very nasty woman. A mildly entertaining show. At a full hour though, seems like this is padded. Janice slapping her drunk model recently was very bracing. Remember when her and Omarosa had the BEST SEASON EVER on Surreal Life? With Omarosa calling Janice a “crackhead” and Janice trying to climb out of a window?
Grade: C +
THE BAD GIRLS CLUB (OXY)
The sick, deeply disturbed girls are getting even sicker. I don’t know any of their names, their all just memorable for the layers of craziness. I fuckign HATE Naveen - the odd looking judgemental woman who supposedly co-hosts some morning radio show in Portland. For some reason, I seroiusly doubt this scenario. Like -maybe she was an intern and got on the air a few times? If she is a part of a real show, I can't imagine the unfunniness going down. Lyric is self centered and somewhat retarded. Her music career is going about as well as her criminal record. Her explanation for why she ripped off a woman at a bar was priceless. ("I needed to pay rent a lot more than that rich bitch needed her drinks.") Priceless. Genavecia seems pointless and I can't remember anything about her. Darlene is insane, with a six year old daughter and a penchant for being drunk, fighting and cursing. She's also a slob. She seems born to have confrontation. Hannah does not register AT ALL! Tenisha is the loud, angry black woman who runs around the house physicaly trying to fight people. She is a one man show and they should probably give her her own half hour next year. She's hilarious and sick and cruel and crazy, and that's just the half of it. Lastly, my favorite slut, Cordelia. She has a fiance', she strips, she's screwing some Jewish guy she met since being there, and she says she uses sex as a weapon. My cat Munchy is smarter than this woman. He is!
Anyway, as usual, I love this show. Keep it coming!
Grade: B +
www.badgirlsclubonoxygen.com/bio.html
FAST FOOD NATION (HBO)
I missed this in theaters, but caught up with this film a few days ago on HBO. Based on the fact filled FAST FOOD NATION book that documented just how fucked up the fast food industry is (Apparently, Mickey D’s has more actual feces in their meat than any of the other chains – Go McDonald’s!,) this movie – instead of trying to be a docu, decided to dramatize the whole thing with Greg Kinear as a fast food investigator who works for one of the biggest chains. There are lots of star cameos, from Wilmer Valderama (surprisingly good) to Bruce Willis (always an asshole – but it works here.) Richard Linklatter directs. I have to say, having seen many docus on the subject, having read the book – I’m super familiar with all the themes. But this really might be the first time a studio movie made a film that is anti-meat. We find out why there is so much crap in the fast food meat, how the stuff is made – from the farms to the slaughterhouses, and finally, in the haunting, wordless final 13 minutes, the absolute nightmare of the slaughterhouse. This is a great, important film and while it meanders here and there, it’s short and mostly to the point, with some of the most grave sequences I”ve ever seen. I don’t think anything I’ve seen recently that beats the last 15 minutes. A great, important film that I give my absolute highest recommendation to.
Grade: A +
Remember the first, great few seasons of JUST SHOOT ME when it was just this really funny new show that figured out a perfect way to use David Spade? I don't know what happened to that show - but it was pretty fucking great in its first 3 seasons.
AS I AM - ALICIA KEYS (CD)
The whole CD is pretty spectacular in a quiet, moving way. But it really reaches an early peak with "No One" which is a fantastic bouncy single. Here is the link:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ktUSIJEiOug&feature=related
there are 3 or 4 other songs on thd CD that are in the same arena - it's really good.
Grade: B
THE STORY OF US (CABLE)
Once in a great, great while - a movie comes along that is so bad, so pretentious, so confident about it's horrible sense of humor - that movie, is THE STORY OF US. I have never seen this, but did not pass up the opportunity when it came on cable (I can't remember which channel.) I truly can't describe the levels of badness this filmed entertainment reaches. Just know that Bruce Willis sets the tone right in the first minute, giving a ridiculous testimonial to the camera as he tries to be funny, sad and poignant. I knew right there - in the first minute - that this was going to be one of the all time worst movies in the history of the movies. The film is about the break up of Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer. Michelle looks gorgeous. Bruce looks like his usual total douche bag self. Only he's trying to be "comic." The kids are given "funny" dialog. The movie seems to be made around the time that SEINFELD was really popular and tries for that vibe of irreverence. Boy, does it not work. Perhaps the best/worst of the film is NOT the girls getting together and complaining about the men (although - make no mistake - it's really bad and unfunny.) Just wait until Bruce gets together with his two buddies, Rob Reiner (the writer/director of this piece of shit) and long time Seinfeld impersonator - the achingly unfunny Paul Resier. In their scenes together, Reiser does a really bad Seinfeld impression and Reiner does a really bad George Costanza impression - with no laugh track - and no laughs. Nothing I could write here could prepare you for this - but mark my words, this is one of the very worst excuses of a movie you will ever see - and on that level - you are in for a treat.
Grade: Z
FAMILY GUY (FOX)
Movin' Out (Brian's Song). Even in the title – this episode lampoons more things (including the Robot from ROCKY IV) then any other half hour out there. And this episode in particular was about as funny as things get on this show. Brian moves in with his girlfriend, and Stewie ends up moving in to help them pay the rent. One of this season’s best.
Grade: A
ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL (SHOWTIME)
Much better than it’s reputation, but can somebody who’s seen this please shoot me an email and let me know who the killer is? (Yes, there is a serial killer subplot that subverts, and ultimately completely derails this film.)
Grade: C +
THE SIMPSONS (FOX)
Homer burns down Fast Food row. I forget what happened after that, but I think it was funny. But I can’t be sure.
THE LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVES DOWN THE LANE (SHOWTIME)
Wow – this is a great old movie with Jodie Foster as the little girl and Martin Sheen as the sicko perv trying to play LOLITA with her. This is a GREAT, creepy old movie, and besides one unfortunate scene involving prosthetics, is nearly perfect. I remember reading this book as a kid and kind of loving it. Somehow, the movie casts a glow nearly as somber and interesting as the book. This is the perfect chilly date movie with a bottle of wine – and though the movie is dangerous in its sort of pre-politically correct notions – the most startling moment came about half way through when a 13 year old Jodie Foster changes clothes and the camera doesn’t flinch. That was really shocking and brief – but something you’d never see in today’s modern cinema. But it’s an important scene in that it cinematically displays the womanhood that this very young girl has due to an adult life lived too soon.
Grade: A +
THE WIRE (HBO)
It’s back. It’s better than ever, and I can’t believe this is the last season. Though it does feel like the end of something, this was truly edgy and complicated television. Like THE SOPRANOS, a one of a kind show that will never have an imitator. I’m looking forward to these last episodes. I thought last Sunday, with McNulty screwing around with that dead body, was pretty disturbing.
Grade: A +
I'M NOT THERE (IN THEATERS)
I have to confess, while I know all the big hits, I’ve never been a HUGE Dylan fan, so me and G. went into this hoping to become fans, but quickly found out that one needs to already BE one in order to enjoy this properly. We left after an hour, in a sea of frustration and exhaustion. That makes maybe the 5th time in my life I’ve ever left a theater mid-movie. (The other ones were FAR & AWAY, ENCINO MAN, THE LAST ACTION HERO, and SUPERMAN RETURNS.) Amazingly, I stayed all the way to the end on the two films I consider the worst every made – ARTHUR 2: ARTHUR ON THE ROCKS and…I can’t say it. A friend wrote it and I just can’t. Let’s just say….nothing. If you ask me personally I’ll tell you (via email.) (HINT: the film is over 12 years old and features Kathy Bates - and the movie is a truly obscure one.
Grade: ?
THE SOPRANOS "Whitecaps" (DVD)
Wow – what an episode to close out the 4th season. The fighting that went on between Tony and Carmella over a lifetime of Tony’s infidelity was literally a shake the walls experience – and a masterful episode.
Grade: A +
30 ROCK (nbc)
An okay episode about Kenneth becoming a coffee junky and Alec Baldwin ending his affair with Edie Falco. I think this was their last fresh ep, and the ending, which was a musical – was excellent.
Grade: B
THE SIMPSONS MOVIE (DVD)
What can I say? A pretty big disappointment, but certainly not without laughs. It just seemed really crude and not as layered as the half hour version, nor as witty.
Grade: C
OPRAH WINFREY PRESENTS ONE MORE DAY (ABC)
I think the title was actually longer - but this was a tv movie that I probably wouldn't have paid attention to if not for the inclusion of the great Michael Imperiolli, whose career I will follow for a long time to come. Anyway - this aired forever ago and I don't even know if anybody watched it - but it was really good, if really sentimental, and Imperiolli can do anything. The tv film was about a washed up ball player (Imperiolli) who gets one more day his mother after she dies. It was sort of predictable, but Ellen Burstyn was fine as mom and Imperiolli was great - anyway - there it is. Pointless since the network tv movie has to be the hardest to track down - and this wasn't great.
Grade: C -
Okay, of all places, I found this new singer, ADELE, on PEREZHILTON.COM of all fucking places. But she sounds a bit like the Wino, but different....I don't know. It's almost a brilliant impression, but her voice is great if you like that smokey Wino affect - and the songs I've heard thus far are really really good. Anyway - if you're interested - go here:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=7032442
DATELINE: TO CATCH A PREDATOR (NBC)
I hadn't seen this in a long time. Since the last ep aired, there has been a LOT of controversy and speculation that this show is truly entrapping some of these guys, that the operation is dangerous and sloppy, and that real law enforcement aren't running the show. All that aside for a moment, how fucking great is this show? Maybe the best EVER? Did you see the one guy on his birthday - he was so happy to be there! Or that parapeligic who was quite sexually evil? I think the real drawer on this is that - once those dudes enter that house - it is straight downhill. Their entire lives. This is a scary show, with scary people, and it raises a lot of moral questions. One question though, has never been in doubt. When this is running, you simply can't take your eyes off the screen.
Grade: A
DREAMGIRLS (HBO)
How did I not see this last year? Anyway, this is a GREAT movie. The first time I've ever really liked Jaime Fox (I fucking hated RAY) and Eddie Murphy is fantastic. The rest of the cast, Jenifer Hudson included, is a bit on the amateur side - but the ton of great songs, dancing and the actual story itself is so compelling that I wish the filmakers were a little more eloquent in the telling of it and some of the poor editing and directing choices make this less than perfect. Still, Hudson singing some of those songs, Eddie Murphy's final performance in the film - this is pretty great stuff. Highly reccomended.
Grade: A
AMERICAN IDOL (FOX)
What can I say, I’m not a huge fan of the first few weeks. But these early eps are slightly better produced then they were in years past, where they basically told you before the actual audition who did well. Ryan Seacrest would say something like “And before Brian Astin auditioned, these judges had thought they’d heard the worst of it!” I never understood why they cut the suspense from their own show. You can still tell – if they do a ton of production work on someone’s segment, like going to their hometown and stuff – they get through. I’m already bored of this – I wish we’d just get to the competition.
Grade: C
THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO (NBC)
JAY LENO. In the words of that ill-fated character from that really funny movie I can’t remember the name of’ “Wha’ happened?” He USED to be a comic. He used to be really funny. He used to eat roast beef sandwiches on the Letterman show in between being hilarious. Now, the show is…I don’t know – he does this bad, pandering monologues. The jokes are solid, but his delivery is full of insecurity. Like a dog that needs his belly rubbed. So yes, he has no writers, and no, I can’t tell much of a difference. He does earn points, though - for appearing very honest during his last bunch of shows, and frankly, I can’t even tell the difference in his monologue – but is he really writing it on his own???? Who cares. The best thing he ever did was have Jimmy Kimmel on as a guest – that was a CLASS MOVE and one of the better interviews he’s ever done.
GRADE: C +
THE LATE, LATE SHOW with CRAIG FERGUSON (CBS)
Ferguson - As insignificant as before the strike. Boy, do I not get this one. He was fine on DREW CARRY – but really, in the however many years he’s been on, not once has anyone ever said to me, nor have I ever overheard, nor will I ever over hear “Did you catch Ferguson last night?”
GRADE: D +
LATE NIGHT with CONAN O’BRIEN (NBC)
We're going on something like 13 years without Conan making me laugh - without his writers - he's actually making me frown. His videotaped "guitar hero" bit was the unfunniest moment of the new year. So many of my friends and associates just love him – and I will admit – he has GREAT writers and there are many inspired bits. But Conan himself? Unfunny. Always has been, always will be. The worst interviewer in the world – on par with Tyra Banks. I’m not kidding. Have you seen him conduct an interview. He lets the celeb say something, than he interrupts with a shockingly unfunny self deprecating remark. I guess he really is the white Tyra Banks. Although, Tyra is clearly insane. I don’t think Conan’s actually insane – just really, really REALLY not funny.
Grade: D
THE LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN (CBS)
Letterman - Looked very manly with his beard - and his show was just flat-out funny. He had writers, and Letterman just happens to be funny and nearly at the top of his game. His top ten list with out of work writers was particularly funny. As the weeks have gone on, what can I say – the guy is just late night gold.
Grade: A -
KIMMEL LIVE! With JIMMY KIMMEL (ABC)
The very best of the lot. Jimmy was just himself, funny and charming, and Andy Dick was very funny as well as the first picket crossing guest. Jimmy’s monologue has been very interesting, and he’s truly a gifted ad-libber. And as far as the future of late nite, Kimmel is the one to watch.
Jimmy Kimmel was really funny with Dr. Drew talking about CELEB REHAB. He called Jeff Conway criminally insane and among the living dead. I love his MOMENTS OF THE PAST which pays his on strike staff residuals. I wish he’d dig into the closet from the summer of 06’ – now there was some comedy bit GOLD! But Kimmel is the guy, and if they put him on at 11 30, I think he would give all these guys a serious run for their money. Having Jay on was great, and hands down the funniest Jay's been since his pre-Tonight show days. That "monkey-in-a-cup" story was laugh out loud funny. Jay actually rocked on Jimmy's show. They should do that more often.
Grade: A +
SWEENEY TODD (DVD SCREENER)
Johnny Depp is brilliant and haunted in one of his best roles ever. Tune wise, he sort of channels David Bowie (Mark G. pointed that out to me) and succeeds much more in song than I ever would’ve suspected. Helena Bonham Carter is just okay – but the tragic tale and revenge blood lust take center stage in this lavishly produced, extremely dark musical. I enjoyed it, but at just under 2 hours, it drags a bit, and as usual with Tim Burton directing, the story could’ve been a bit clearer.
Grade: A
BEST NIGHT EVER (VH1)
A five minute version of BEST WEEK EVER – I love this show – so I’ll take it every night, but the format here is very different with only one comic doing some bits and the overall quality isn’t as funny – but it’s good – and only five minutes.
GRADE: B -
BIGGEST LOSER: COUPLES (NBC)
I had never really watched this before but I have quickly become a huge fan. This couples idea is great and let’s face it – it’s just really fun to watch seriously overweight people lose a lot of weight and see that transformation. But I can’t believe how fat some of the people are when they start – there is one guy on there that was over 400 pounds. He’s now lost about 40 pounds and the only minute difference I can spot is that his tits are now sagging about a half inch lower.
Grade: B +
AMERICAN DAD (FOX)
"TEARJERKER" This was a full on 007 spoof that worked SO well – you just had to be there.
Grade: A -
DR. DREW'S CELEB REHAB (VH1)
Wow, where do I begin. Mary Carry literally looks like she’s there to get stoned and laid from the guy from CRAZY TOWN. She is such a complete moron I can’t believe that drugs are her number one problem. I loved when she said “Some people also know me from politics.” Yes, as the crazy porn star who made a ridiculous bid for office that included porn. About 4 years ago I was at Oddysey Video on Lankershim and I was innocently renting some dvds when Mary Carry came in – asked me to hold a camera, and photograph her with the two guys behind the front desk. Right as I was about to click, Ms. Carry pulled down her top. I will always remember that and be grateful to Ms. Carry, however, she has to be one of the more ridiculous “celebrities” out there. She was told at the beginning by Dr. Drew that “no drugs and no sex” were part of the routine there, so she brings her own porno tapes and says “At least I can watch myself have sex!” Yeah, she’s getting cured. I have no idea who the guy from CRAZYTOWN is, but he reminds me of a less angry Vanilla Ice. Chyna Doll is sort of a train wreck, as is Brigitte Nielson, who actually does seem to take this a bit seriously. But the hands down, bat shit crazy spectacle of this entire show, and a man I’d like to see get his own comical half hour next season, has to be the hilarious Jeff Conway. Man, he is so fucked up – he video’d himself doing blow the entire night before he got there – and he can’t actually talk. I mean, the guy who used to crack me up on TAXI can’t talk. Even after his rest he came out and reminded me of one of the patients in AWAKENINGS before they got the miracle drug. And Jessica Sierra – I know she was on IDOL, I know she has been in and out of jail, I know she is expecting both a baby and a porn film she did for drugs. I think the porno arrives first. And the show is surprisingly real and candid and with the exception of Mary Carry and Daniel Baldwin, who appears to be in an infomercial for himself, you can’t help but feel incredibly empathetic towards these people (I hate to use the term celebrity – as some of them I have never heard of) – but – just the fact that they’re in there getting help is actually heartening. Is it completely exploitive? Completely. But if Dr. Drew can make Jeff Conway talk again, then the entire enterprise was worth it.
Grade: A
UPDATE: I just watched the second episode – apparently Jeff Conway has two personalities: comatose and explosively angry. All kidding aside, this show is serious about calling these guys out on their bullshit, Dr. Drew is a perfect host and doctor on this, and I’m actually rooting for every one of these people to get better – they all really need it. Although I swear Daniel Baldwin is there simply to make jokes and get some face time.
Grade: A
SCOTT BAIO IS 46 and PREGNANT
After a mildly fun, mildly scripted first season, this show is back for an even less fun, more scripted season. The scripting at the beginning of the show was laughable.
Grade: D
ROCK OF LOVE 2
This is the one! I don’t know what it is about this setup, but Bret Michaels is absolutely the man to be doing this show – and the girls they are getting on are crazy in the BEST POSSIBLE WAY. But don’t threaten me with a good time.
Grade: A
I LOVE NY SEASON 2: THE REUNION (VH1)
NY and Taylor Made find love! But…are those grainy images true – is there a NY sex tape on the way????.....if you have info on this alleged tape, links, descriptions, screen shots, please send them to this blog so I can personally help New York out and find the culprit! Send your info to
TheDigitalCouch@aol.com
By the way – if there are any comments, questions or anything you want to talk about – please drop me a line at that email.
DAN IN REAL LIFE (DVD SCREENER)
Wow – this was SO much better than I ever would’ve thought. Carrel is pitch perfect – and Dane Cook – God Bless him – he’s fine in this role. Anything that doesn’t have comedy in it – Dane seems to succeed in – so basically, Dane Cook started this entire MYSPACE revolution to become this big comic based on his internet audience (and not, sad to say, on his "scary dangerous comedy.) And as it turns out – not only does he fucking SUCK at anything resembling comedy, but he turns out to be a decent character actor. Go figure. Meanwhile, the film is terrific and Steve Carrel, after grating everyone’s nerves all year on the increasingly fucking horrible OFFICE, reminds us just how great and subtle an actor he can really be. And touching. Recommended.
Grade: B +
BOSTON LEGAL (ABC)
What the hell happened? How did this show get good all of a sudden? The recent ep where Shatner took on a murder case by himself was terrific.
Grade: B –
WIFE SWAP (ABC)
I know this is a particularly low rent show, but it rocks.
Grade: C +
THE APPRENTICE: CELEBRITY EDITION (NBC)
Wow, this show has gotten exactly the right makeover. The celebs are mostly people you’ve heard of at least. For me, it’s fun to see Big Pussy Pastore try to operate with humans. But the real draw here is the insanely unlikable Omarosa, who could literally give lessons on how to alienate everybody around you simply by opening your mouth.
UPDATE: I watched the 2nd ep – where Nadia Commenichi gets fired! How dare Trump! But this version of the show is terrific.
Grade: B -
THE JANICE DICKINSON SHOW (OXY)
A very nasty woman. A mildly entertaining show. At a full hour though, seems like this is padded. Janice slapping her drunk model recently was very bracing. Remember when her and Omarosa had the BEST SEASON EVER on Surreal Life? With Omarosa calling Janice a “crackhead” and Janice trying to climb out of a window?
Grade: C +
THE BAD GIRLS CLUB (OXY)
The sick, deeply disturbed girls are getting even sicker. I don’t know any of their names, their all just memorable for the layers of craziness. I fuckign HATE Naveen - the odd looking judgemental woman who supposedly co-hosts some morning radio show in Portland. For some reason, I seroiusly doubt this scenario. Like -maybe she was an intern and got on the air a few times? If she is a part of a real show, I can't imagine the unfunniness going down. Lyric is self centered and somewhat retarded. Her music career is going about as well as her criminal record. Her explanation for why she ripped off a woman at a bar was priceless. ("I needed to pay rent a lot more than that rich bitch needed her drinks.") Priceless. Genavecia seems pointless and I can't remember anything about her. Darlene is insane, with a six year old daughter and a penchant for being drunk, fighting and cursing. She's also a slob. She seems born to have confrontation. Hannah does not register AT ALL! Tenisha is the loud, angry black woman who runs around the house physicaly trying to fight people. She is a one man show and they should probably give her her own half hour next year. She's hilarious and sick and cruel and crazy, and that's just the half of it. Lastly, my favorite slut, Cordelia. She has a fiance', she strips, she's screwing some Jewish guy she met since being there, and she says she uses sex as a weapon. My cat Munchy is smarter than this woman. He is!
Anyway, as usual, I love this show. Keep it coming!
Grade: B +
www.badgirlsclubonoxygen.com/bio.html
FAST FOOD NATION (HBO)
I missed this in theaters, but caught up with this film a few days ago on HBO. Based on the fact filled FAST FOOD NATION book that documented just how fucked up the fast food industry is (Apparently, Mickey D’s has more actual feces in their meat than any of the other chains – Go McDonald’s!,) this movie – instead of trying to be a docu, decided to dramatize the whole thing with Greg Kinear as a fast food investigator who works for one of the biggest chains. There are lots of star cameos, from Wilmer Valderama (surprisingly good) to Bruce Willis (always an asshole – but it works here.) Richard Linklatter directs. I have to say, having seen many docus on the subject, having read the book – I’m super familiar with all the themes. But this really might be the first time a studio movie made a film that is anti-meat. We find out why there is so much crap in the fast food meat, how the stuff is made – from the farms to the slaughterhouses, and finally, in the haunting, wordless final 13 minutes, the absolute nightmare of the slaughterhouse. This is a great, important film and while it meanders here and there, it’s short and mostly to the point, with some of the most grave sequences I”ve ever seen. I don’t think anything I’ve seen recently that beats the last 15 minutes. A great, important film that I give my absolute highest recommendation to.
Grade: A +
Remember the first, great few seasons of JUST SHOOT ME when it was just this really funny new show that figured out a perfect way to use David Spade? I don't know what happened to that show - but it was pretty fucking great in its first 3 seasons.
AS I AM - ALICIA KEYS (CD)
The whole CD is pretty spectacular in a quiet, moving way. But it really reaches an early peak with "No One" which is a fantastic bouncy single. Here is the link:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ktUSIJEiOug&feature=related
there are 3 or 4 other songs on thd CD that are in the same arena - it's really good.
Grade: B
THE STORY OF US (CABLE)
Once in a great, great while - a movie comes along that is so bad, so pretentious, so confident about it's horrible sense of humor - that movie, is THE STORY OF US. I have never seen this, but did not pass up the opportunity when it came on cable (I can't remember which channel.) I truly can't describe the levels of badness this filmed entertainment reaches. Just know that Bruce Willis sets the tone right in the first minute, giving a ridiculous testimonial to the camera as he tries to be funny, sad and poignant. I knew right there - in the first minute - that this was going to be one of the all time worst movies in the history of the movies. The film is about the break up of Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer. Michelle looks gorgeous. Bruce looks like his usual total douche bag self. Only he's trying to be "comic." The kids are given "funny" dialog. The movie seems to be made around the time that SEINFELD was really popular and tries for that vibe of irreverence. Boy, does it not work. Perhaps the best/worst of the film is NOT the girls getting together and complaining about the men (although - make no mistake - it's really bad and unfunny.) Just wait until Bruce gets together with his two buddies, Rob Reiner (the writer/director of this piece of shit) and long time Seinfeld impersonator - the achingly unfunny Paul Resier. In their scenes together, Reiser does a really bad Seinfeld impression and Reiner does a really bad George Costanza impression - with no laugh track - and no laughs. Nothing I could write here could prepare you for this - but mark my words, this is one of the very worst excuses of a movie you will ever see - and on that level - you are in for a treat.
Grade: Z
FAMILY GUY (FOX)
Movin' Out (Brian's Song). Even in the title – this episode lampoons more things (including the Robot from ROCKY IV) then any other half hour out there. And this episode in particular was about as funny as things get on this show. Brian moves in with his girlfriend, and Stewie ends up moving in to help them pay the rent. One of this season’s best.
Grade: A
ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL (SHOWTIME)
Much better than it’s reputation, but can somebody who’s seen this please shoot me an email and let me know who the killer is? (Yes, there is a serial killer subplot that subverts, and ultimately completely derails this film.)
Grade: C +
THE SIMPSONS (FOX)
Homer burns down Fast Food row. I forget what happened after that, but I think it was funny. But I can’t be sure.
THE LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVES DOWN THE LANE (SHOWTIME)
Wow – this is a great old movie with Jodie Foster as the little girl and Martin Sheen as the sicko perv trying to play LOLITA with her. This is a GREAT, creepy old movie, and besides one unfortunate scene involving prosthetics, is nearly perfect. I remember reading this book as a kid and kind of loving it. Somehow, the movie casts a glow nearly as somber and interesting as the book. This is the perfect chilly date movie with a bottle of wine – and though the movie is dangerous in its sort of pre-politically correct notions – the most startling moment came about half way through when a 13 year old Jodie Foster changes clothes and the camera doesn’t flinch. That was really shocking and brief – but something you’d never see in today’s modern cinema. But it’s an important scene in that it cinematically displays the womanhood that this very young girl has due to an adult life lived too soon.
Grade: A +
THE WIRE (HBO)
It’s back. It’s better than ever, and I can’t believe this is the last season. Though it does feel like the end of something, this was truly edgy and complicated television. Like THE SOPRANOS, a one of a kind show that will never have an imitator. I’m looking forward to these last episodes. I thought last Sunday, with McNulty screwing around with that dead body, was pretty disturbing.
Grade: A +
I'M NOT THERE (IN THEATERS)
I have to confess, while I know all the big hits, I’ve never been a HUGE Dylan fan, so me and G. went into this hoping to become fans, but quickly found out that one needs to already BE one in order to enjoy this properly. We left after an hour, in a sea of frustration and exhaustion. That makes maybe the 5th time in my life I’ve ever left a theater mid-movie. (The other ones were FAR & AWAY, ENCINO MAN, THE LAST ACTION HERO, and SUPERMAN RETURNS.) Amazingly, I stayed all the way to the end on the two films I consider the worst every made – ARTHUR 2: ARTHUR ON THE ROCKS and…I can’t say it. A friend wrote it and I just can’t. Let’s just say….nothing. If you ask me personally I’ll tell you (via email.) (HINT: the film is over 12 years old and features Kathy Bates - and the movie is a truly obscure one.
Grade: ?
THE SOPRANOS "Whitecaps" (DVD)
Wow – what an episode to close out the 4th season. The fighting that went on between Tony and Carmella over a lifetime of Tony’s infidelity was literally a shake the walls experience – and a masterful episode.
Grade: A +
30 ROCK (nbc)
An okay episode about Kenneth becoming a coffee junky and Alec Baldwin ending his affair with Edie Falco. I think this was their last fresh ep, and the ending, which was a musical – was excellent.
Grade: B
THE SIMPSONS MOVIE (DVD)
What can I say? A pretty big disappointment, but certainly not without laughs. It just seemed really crude and not as layered as the half hour version, nor as witty.
Grade: C
OPRAH WINFREY PRESENTS ONE MORE DAY (ABC)
I think the title was actually longer - but this was a tv movie that I probably wouldn't have paid attention to if not for the inclusion of the great Michael Imperiolli, whose career I will follow for a long time to come. Anyway - this aired forever ago and I don't even know if anybody watched it - but it was really good, if really sentimental, and Imperiolli can do anything. The tv film was about a washed up ball player (Imperiolli) who gets one more day his mother after she dies. It was sort of predictable, but Ellen Burstyn was fine as mom and Imperiolli was great - anyway - there it is. Pointless since the network tv movie has to be the hardest to track down - and this wasn't great.
Grade: C -
Okay, of all places, I found this new singer, ADELE, on PEREZHILTON.COM of all fucking places. But she sounds a bit like the Wino, but different....I don't know. It's almost a brilliant impression, but her voice is great if you like that smokey Wino affect - and the songs I've heard thus far are really really good. Anyway - if you're interested - go here:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=7032442
DATELINE: TO CATCH A PREDATOR (NBC)
I hadn't seen this in a long time. Since the last ep aired, there has been a LOT of controversy and speculation that this show is truly entrapping some of these guys, that the operation is dangerous and sloppy, and that real law enforcement aren't running the show. All that aside for a moment, how fucking great is this show? Maybe the best EVER? Did you see the one guy on his birthday - he was so happy to be there! Or that parapeligic who was quite sexually evil? I think the real drawer on this is that - once those dudes enter that house - it is straight downhill. Their entire lives. This is a scary show, with scary people, and it raises a lot of moral questions. One question though, has never been in doubt. When this is running, you simply can't take your eyes off the screen.
Grade: A
DREAMGIRLS (HBO)
How did I not see this last year? Anyway, this is a GREAT movie. The first time I've ever really liked Jaime Fox (I fucking hated RAY) and Eddie Murphy is fantastic. The rest of the cast, Jenifer Hudson included, is a bit on the amateur side - but the ton of great songs, dancing and the actual story itself is so compelling that I wish the filmakers were a little more eloquent in the telling of it and some of the poor editing and directing choices make this less than perfect. Still, Hudson singing some of those songs, Eddie Murphy's final performance in the film - this is pretty great stuff. Highly reccomended.
Grade: A
AMERICAN IDOL (FOX)
What can I say, I’m not a huge fan of the first few weeks. But these early eps are slightly better produced then they were in years past, where they basically told you before the actual audition who did well. Ryan Seacrest would say something like “And before Brian Astin auditioned, these judges had thought they’d heard the worst of it!” I never understood why they cut the suspense from their own show. You can still tell – if they do a ton of production work on someone’s segment, like going to their hometown and stuff – they get through. I’m already bored of this – I wish we’d just get to the competition.
Grade: C
2007/12/30
Last blog of 2oo7!
EXTRAS (SERIES FINALE) (HBO)
Being that this is the exact same format the BBC OFFICE went (2 seasons and a wrap up,) this had a lot to live up to. TV GUIDE actually let some spoilers leak, so I went into this knowing a few things, which sucked. However, despite that, this was pretty bloody good. They took the Andy character about as far as they could take him as well as his platonic relationship with…(It can’t be a great sign that I don’t remember her name – although she was never my favorite part of the show.) I wish there had been more scenes of Andy and his agent, and the whole thing was a bit on the dark side, but that’s probably why I liked it so much. I wish there had been a bit more finesse to it, and a few of the jokes were a bit too self conscience (like the Kramer doll and the Direc TV bit) but mostly, this was pretty great. Who even knew we were getting a finale? Although – strangely enough, it kind of felt like a bigger rewrite of the last episode of the series (the ep with DeNiro.) While EXTRAS will never be in the same category as THE OFFICE BBC, it did have many many moments of greatness, particularly the second season. And to have this 90 minute finale was a great cap to a damn fine show. While I think they over stated their point a few times, and got a bit preachy here and there, this still worked exceedingly well and serves as a satisfying conclusion to the show.
Grade: A -
THERE WILL BE BLOOD (IN THEATERS)
Long. Tedious. And kind of brilliant. Daniel Day Lewis is so good. Paul Anderson Thomas, best known for the perfect BOOGIE NIGHTS, somehow changes who he is as a filmaker in this 3 hour epic based on the oil biz in the 20s. Lewis’ performance will haunt you for a long time to come.
Grade: A
LARS AND THE REAL GIRL (IN THEATERS)
Clever concept. Piss poor execution. For proof that Ryan Gosling can star in a horrible movie, look no further. If you really want to see what a REAL GIRL (an expensive sex doll) looks like, go to www.realgirl.com - at least you won’t have to sit through this movie. Which is bad. Really really bad.
Grade: D
THE SAVAGES (IN THEATRES)
Laura Linney and Phillip Seymour Hoffman are touching and real in this great film I recently saw directed by Tamara Jenkins – who you might remember from the great SLUMS OF BEVERLY HILLS. This is a lot more bleak than that film – but the performances are so good there is simply never a dull moment. As good as Linney is, I think that Hoffman might be the best actor of his generation.
Grade: A
SPIDERMAN 3 (DVD)
A 2 hour and 20 minute fucking insult. Some of the best special effects in recent memory as well as some of the very worst dialog, acting, pacing, directing, lighting, scoring and mostly every other aspect of this sitcom-like extension of the franchise. To get the big picture, this is the last BATMAN film with George Clooney that everybody hated and killed the franchise. This is the worst of the 3 new STAR WARS films, all of which were truly drop dead awful. Sam Raimi is a GREAT director. He made the EVIL DEAD trilogy, which is insanely good. He also made a great drama called A SIMPLE PLAN that features the best Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton performances you’re ever likely to see. I even think he made a great actress out of Bridget Fonda in that movie. But this is dead on arrival. The bad sitcom like plotting in terms of the James Franco character and his….it’s too complicated. Anyway – very, very bad. With good intentions. Had they chopped this down to 90 minutes, it could’ve been okay – but probably not. It’s just bad. Really, really bad. Awful.
Gradeless.
Fuck you, Rami. Wasting my time with this bullshit.
PS: Why does the SPIDERMAN theme sound EXACTLY like the BATMAN theme? Did they think we wouldn’t notice? Even the music cues seem to be lifted directly from Batman. What’s up with that? I’m not kidding – it’s EXACTLY the same score only somehow not quite as good.
RUNNIN DOWN A DREAM: TOM PETTY DOCU (DVD)
Not a huge Petty fan but this 4 hour docu by Peter Bogdonavich almost made me one. This package comes with 2 dvds that cover the docu, another dvd of a unreleased great live show, and a 4th disc – a CD with live cuts and rarities. This is 25 bux at Best Buy. If you’re into Petty – this is an insane deal.
Highly recommended.
PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN 3 (DVD)
I had this for a month. I just sat down to watch it. I got through about 4 minutes.
I think women really love Depp and Bloom, for I know no man who likes these movies.
I don’t get it.
Not even a little.
T2: JUDGEMENT DAY (DVD - XTREME EDITION)
By the way, this double disc, loaded to the gills with extras and Easter eggs, is TARGET right now for 5.95 - which means it's probably about to be re-released - but you'd do well to own this version. Since this is one of the best action films ever made, with and ending as good and sentimental as the rest of the film is action fill led. The "extended version" has a few unfortunate moments that probably should've remained on the cutting room floor (like Eddie Furlong teaching Arnold's Terminator how to "smile".) However, when we get the entire REESE flashback - it's hard to argue with the longer edition. The extras are so plentiful on this 2 discer that the 5.95 price at TARGET is a bit of a lovely joke. By the way, T3 pretty much sucked, and T4 is coming. Imagine how exciting it would be if Cameron were returning to the series? With Eddie Furlong? Nah, it'll be Christian Bale and an action director. (sigh.)
Grade: A +
GOODFELLAS (DVD)
Watched a bit of this just recently - the newer editions have a great commentary track with the actual wiseguy himself, Henry Hill. Still, the scenes with Maury are still the greatest of all time, and Joe Pesci's "You think I'm funny" is still frightengly fantastic.
Grade: A+
COOL AS ICE (SHOWTIME)
I recently watched for the first time - this Vanilla Ice movie from the late 80s - and WOW, this is some bad shit. And not in the bad/good way - this is just BAD. Yet, it's so bad it's borderline brilliant. It's shot in the worst style I've ever seen, Vanilla Ice's wardrobe and hairstyle are ones for hte ages, his "friends" from the hood - trust me - this fucking thing just has to be seen to be believed. How Michael Gross got sucked into this is anybodies guess - but check out the first time we see the "normal" family and how the director wanted them to play out in a sort of "RAP"....this is impossible to explain - you have to see this stinking bad flick.
Grade: F / A (for camp value)
For some reason I reviewed this twice - I always find it interesting to compare what I was thinking on what day - the next review I must've wrote after just watching it - let's compare:
COOL AS ICE (HBO)I started watching this VANILLA ICE movie the other night on cable - I don't know who the girl is but she was gorgeous. The father of the girl who likes Vanilla Ice is played by Michael Gross. Now let me see if I can explain the plotline of this "film" - as I understand it. Vanilla Ice is cool. Cool as Ice. In fact, at the beginning of the movie, he's breakdancing in dry ice, so we KNOW he's cool. Also - his 3 best friends, his little motorcycle gang - is black. And one of them is a CHICK! So yeah - we know he's cool. After Ice and the girl meet cute around her horse (I'm not kidding) she sort of punches him in the chest to which Ice replies "You hit pretty good - for a girl." She smartly snaps back with "Well, coming from a big dangerous biker like you, I'll take that as a compliment." They almost smile at each other - but not quite. FUCK! This movie is COOL!!!!!!! They then show her family, lead by Michael Gross of FAMILY TIES as the dad, and for soem inexplicable reason, the family scene is initially shot in a bad hip-hop style that doesn't seem to make sense - u sort of have to see it to believe it. And then, even more inexpliciably, Ice and his friends take their bikes to be repaired by an old "funny" couple that live next door to this girl! (Like I said - it has to be seen to be believed.) Anyway - Ice and the girl get close, dad reveals that he's under the witness protection program due to some tomfoolery in his police career - you know what - just see the film - some movies are so bad they're just bad - this movie is so bad it's fucking GOLD, Jerry, GOLD.Grade: A
MEATLOAF: 3 BATS LIVE (DVD)
This is personally hard for me because I LOVE Meatloaf. He’s been a part of my musical reference since I was a kid. But there is some unfortunate things happening in this DVD. This is one of the best Meatloaf concerts ever put on dvd – and the man’s voice is not up to it. Meat is about 62, and his voice is slipping. This is a GREAT collection, and it works despite the vocal limitations, but still – what a shame. Also, OBJECTS and ANYTHING FOR LOVE are both strangely missing their middle verses (he did this in the show me and Steven G. saw in San Diego as well.) But – for the big fans – this is a must, and the videos are pretty cool, though for some reason at the last minute, a 2nd disc with a great docu on Meat is missing. (maybe they’ll release it later – but apparently this was a 90 minute docu that truly rocked.) Also, why does he choose to end this show with some horrible bad songs from NON BAT cds and then a horrifying cover of GIMME SHELTER? Still, a lot of this really does rock. And if his voice isn’t up to par, the band and his energy and even the blind enthusiasm of the new 20 year old singer that replaces Patti Russo, who’d been in the band for 20 years but has left in a cloud of mystery, giving way to this newer onstage singer, who resembles Meat’s granddaughter and makes watching then make out in PARADISE a bit creepy. It’s still a lot of great songs with Meatloaf at the helm. One only wonders what kind of encore they’d have if Meat were still in tip top voice and Jim Steinman was all the way involved in both Bat 3 and the following tour; as he was on BAT 2. Either way, if you ever loved BAT OUT OF HELL and you buy music dvds, this is definitely a must buy. The sound is superb. And some of the versions are really growing on me. Oh, fuck – don’t listen to me – I LOVE Meatloaf. Even when he’s not at his best. I just love the guy. Impossible for me to give him a bad grade when he’s out there killing himself singing his biggest hits.
Grade: B +
DRAWN TOGETHER (COM)
"Drawn Together Babies"This was a pretty funny, if completely inconsistent with the show's mythology, (which changes all the time anyway) but fun nonetheless to see the babies up for murder and mayhem even in diapers. Sometimes this show is SERIOUSLY funny – this was not one of those times.
Grade: B –
ER (NBC)Really seems to be chugging along. Most of the major players are gone, but there are enough new players and some revitilization of the older characters to make this season (reportedly the last) very satisfying.
THE SOPRANOS "WHOEVER DID THIS" (DVD)
I recently re watched this episode in which Joey Pants meets his maker. Brilliant. Tony lets Ralphie get away with killing a stripper but kills him over a horse. This show will be missed forever. Will there ever be characters like this again?
MY NIGHT AT THE GRAMMYS (CBS)
This could have been great – 2 hours of fantastic grammy moments. Unfortunately, it was ruined by placing celebrities in little boxes to comment on, and therefore ruin, every performance shown.
Grade:
Concept: A
Execution: D
BARRY MANILOW - SONGS OF THE 70s (PBS)
If you are a fan of Barry, and I admit, guilty - this was a masterful set of songs, both from the new cd and Barry’s own blistering 70s catalog. It’s not on dvd yet – but I hope it gets there, because it'd be a nice new collection and he puts delivers a stunning performance on I WRITE THE SONGS, which sounds like he just wrote it.
Grade: A +
FRANK TV (TBS)
Frank is a talented guy and a gifted mimic.
I’ve heard him on Stern and found him to be funny, affable and simply lovely.
His show, however, is totally unwatchable.
Grade: F
HOUSE (FOX)
I recently caught up and watched the 4 episodes before the break. Dazzling, smart, brilliantly acted - what sounded like a weird concept of House choosing his new team became a fantastic storytelling device and got House involved with lots of different personalities. Favorite moment: when House hired the chick from the government – then dispatched her when he realized she was an idiot.
Grade: A
SOUTH PARK (COMEDY CENTRAL) - "Imaginationland - parts 1,2 & 3"
This was so good it could’ve been their next feature. The sight of Cartman walking around grousing about Kyle not sucking his balls – maybe you had to be there – but in it’s – whatever number season – the creators have made this funnier, smarter, and more relevant with every episode.
Grade: B +
INTO THE WILD (DVD)
The best film Sean Penn ever made, the best acting by Emille Hirsch ever put on film, and a great retelling of a true story that I remember very well in the early 90s. This kid had graduated high school and decided to forgo his parents money (of which there was a lot of) and decided to go on this half-assed journey to Alaska. Lyrical, trenchant, but never overly romantic about this kid’s plight, this film is going to be talked about for a long time. I thought Eddie Vedder’s songs for the film were all fairly pointless and just took a few points away. (and now - a week and a half after writing this, I'm starting to come around to the soundtrack a little.)
Grade: A -
If you haven’t heard Artie “coming out” to George Takai on STERN – you haven’t lived.
I AM AN ANIMAL: (HBO)
Unforgettaqble images make the case here for going vegan. I haven’t finished watching because some of the images are so disturbing – but based on the first half, which I plan on finishing shortly, it’s a tough look at THE toughest subject.
Grade based on first half: A +
DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
I watched the last 7 episodes in the last couple of weeks. It’s the best. I was a little worried about the first batch of eps because it felt like a certain laziness had set in, but the next run of eps were uniformly exciting and the finale was pitch perfect and in some ways sort of horrifying. Dexter season 2 has a much more satsisfying conclusion than season one. Despite loads of bad acting (the sister actually got worse this year,) DEXTER is one hell of a show. Last year, they put on a great show. This year, they dazzled.
Grade: A +
AMERICAN DAD (FOX)
I still love this show, but there were a lot of misses this season.
Grade: B
DAVE ATTEL: CAPTAIN MISERABLE (HBO)
I really like this guy and think he’s really funny. That said, I didn’t get this standup set at all. I thought it intimated comedy but didn’t really deliver any comedy. Which is not to say it doesn’t have its moments. It’s just few and far between.
Grade: D +
Because it’s not aggressively bad.
AN OPEN LETTER TO GEORGE LOPEZ
I saw you on some TV show the other day, talking about the Amy Winehouse nominations. You said something like "I guess if doing drugs, cutting yourself up gets you the nominations...etc.) - You went on to some very bad punchline that didn't even make the reporter laugh. Now here is the deal, Mister Lopez. How your show is still on the air, is truly a testament to good fucking luck and power of your own personal prayer. The reason she got the nominations is because no matter how fucked up her personal life is, Amy Winehouse is the best female singer to come along in about a decade. And I know late at night, when you think about how talented she is, you probably say to yourself "If I only had that talent, I would never do those fucked up things." Unfortunately, that's something you'll never know about, because as marginally talented as you are, and while you are certainly a success by anyone's measure, you will never know what it's like to be as uniquely talented as someone like Winehouse, so please continue to do your rotten sitcom and remember to thank God the next time you are nominated for anything. And as far as doing fucked up things, you did them all! So what the fuck are you talking about? Really, when it comes to Winehouse, keep your mouth shut, hack.
What's the deal with CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR? Tom Hanks in a movie with Julia Roberts?
JULIA ROBERTS as an old southern belle? Jesus fucking Christ. Does nobody remember "I kissed Sidney Pottier" at the Oscars???? Julia being in a movie in which she could potentially be nominated or even win, or even do a round of talk shows is a BAD BAD THING AND MUST BE STOPPED.
Ryan Seacrest is the only bad thing in KNOCKED UP. His promos on IN DEMAND where he spoofs his role, are so bad my cat recently learned how to change the channel.
GOOD OL' CHARLES SHULZ (PBS)
I am and always will be a huge fan of PEANUTS. It’s been a huge part of my life and it’s the classiest, funniest thing I’d ever read as a kid and kept reading for a long time after. This docu, which has a lot of testimonials from people close to the creator of Peanuts, Charles M. Schultz, and lots of footage of Schultz himself being interviewed. I would’ve liked to have seen the last hour, but TIME/WARNER fucked my shit up and erased everything on my DVR, and it was on PBS, so who knows when it’s be on again – but based on what I saw, and how interesting it managed to be and how Schulz is really a compelling subject….
Grade: A +
HOSTEL 2 (DVD)
Get the unrated version – I think I reviewed this last time, but ended up seeing it again with a friend, and I now think it’s even better than I initially gave it credit for. It’s creepy and funny and about the best they could do for an encore, to the first, better film. But this is pretty fun. The scene in which the various guys around the world are bidding is an instant classic.
Grade: B +
SUPERBAD (DVD – UNRATED EDITION)
This rocked. Maybe not as much as KNOCKED UP, but it's not a really fair comparison. They are two completely different, and hilarious, movies. As far as SUPERBAD goes, not quite everything works. The more outlandish and high-concept some of the bits get, the less fun they play out since this is mostly grounded in reality. But for straight out belly laughs, look no further. And as good as Michael Cera is, Jonah Hill, seen in 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN trying to buy boots at Kathy Keener's Ebay store - and in KNOCKED UP as Seth's fould mouthed friend - becomes a star in this movies. I think this guy could do anything - and he's one of the funniest guys to come around in a while.
Grade: A -
JANICE DICKENSON MODELING AGENCY (OXYGEN)
Janice is insanely unlikable and unpleasant, yet I really like this show, somehow a little better in it’s 3rd season than it was in its second.
BAD GIRLS CLUB (Season 2 – OXYGEN)
The new bad girls appear to be a pretty insane lot, but I don’t think anything will ever compare to the first season girls. They seemed to have personalities beyond the fighting. These girls are just truly insane on every level. And highly entertaining.
Grade: B -
DAVID GILMOUR: REMEMBER THAT NITE (DVD)
One of the best sounding dvds out there, and Gilmour, who has lost a LOT of credit to Roger Waters, IS the voice of Pink Floyd, plays some of the best guitar in the business, and has a lot of new great songs, particularly, SMILE. Plus the entire Pink Floyd cannon. Here, he performs COMFORTABLY NUMB with David Bowie and an acoustic version of SHINE ON with Crosby, Stills and Nash. Astonishing.
Grade: A
IN POT WE TRUST (SHOWTIME)
Very fine Showtime docu on people who really need medical marijuana. Don't we all?
Grade: B
REBA (SYND)
I recently took in a few eps of this while I was cleaning my apt. I think the success of this show is pretty good proof that the yahoos are winning.
KITCHEN NIGHTMARES (FOX)
Da bomb. Bring this one back. I will never look at any restaurant the same way again, and Gordon Ramsey is a TV natural. Great subjects, great episodes.
Grade: B +
A SHOT AT LOVE W/ TILA TEQUILA (MTV)
I’m going to try and imitate Tila’s sing-song voice to try and convey how annoying she sounds. (She does this a lot when she’s trying to sound important.) Okay, so – this is Tila talking, and when she raises her voice, I’ll use caps. Tila Tequila: “Okay, so like, I brought them to my STUDIO. Where I’m a RECORDING ARTIST. And like, my producer has worked with PARIS HILTON and LINDSEY LOHAN, and now, most importantly, TILA TEQUILA.” I’m not kidding – I wish I could record a sample of what I mean and post it – I’m sure I could find a perfect you tube clip, but I’m too lazy to add these links that would make this a better blog. Tila looks kind of strange. Not that she’s ugly, she’s just…kind of weird. So – this was a dating show with a twist – Tila supposedly wanted to figure out if she wanted to end up with a guy or a girl. Tila: “I’m coming out now and it’s really IMPORTANT to me. And I don’t know if I want a GUY or a GIRL or what…” Now, the show was great, had great characters, truly some real fucking maniacs, and the conclusion was interesting enough. But I think it’s all bullshit. I’ve heard from a lot of people that Tila has a boyfriend, and is totally hetero (the scenes of her kissing other women didn’t really came off as authentic.) So I guess this was to promote her music career. Her what? I’ve heard some of it, and I prefer to listen to the SPIDERMAN THREE album. Oh my GOD, I’m talking like TILA now…I wonder if because she has a sing-song voice she thought she could sing?
Grade: C
How annoying do the new ads for PS I LOVE YOU with Hilary Swank look? How annoying is Hilary Swank? Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeech.
Remember when NIP/TUCK used to be smart, sexy, and daring? Now it’s one shitbag story after the other. And isn’t it funny how after they exploited living in Los Angeles for a few episodes, now the show could take place back in Miami for all of it’s CALIFORNIA vibe it wants to have? Honestly – the time has come. Maybe Ryan Murphy can come up with a great batch of episodes to finish this out – but this is the worst show on television. Let’s let all these talented people go on to something new and fresh and not this grim reminder of a once vibrant tv show that actually was cutting edge for its first few seasons.
I saw a few minutes of the HD BLADE RUNNER FINAL CUT at BEST BUY – it looked amazing I want to update every single component I own. It looks truly insane in HD. I’m ready to buy into this technology. I think the way to go is the hybrid HD/BLU RAY machine that plays both. And whoever reads this blog, if you wanted to get me a 70” HD PANASONIC, I would definitely not mind, nor accuse you of trying to buy my friendship.
IDEAS FOR XMAS/CHANUKA (Under 30 bux)
(Sorry – I should’ve had this blog posted 2 weeks ago, but I’ve been busy. So here it is, anyway – still a good way to spend 30 bux.)
1 - Meatloaf - 3 Bats Live
Meat's voice doesn't sound the same, and replacing Patti Russo with a 20 year old was a blunder, but this dvd still kind of rocks.
2 - Tom Petty - Runnin' Down A Dream (dvd at Best Buy only)
I think this is 8 hours long - for serious Petty fans only (I'm not one)
3 - Eagles - Long Road Out Of Eden (Walmart Only - but you can find it on Amazon)
This rocks.
4 - Led Zep - Mothership CD/DVD
Not a huge fan, but supposedly this is fantastic if you are.
5 - Knocked up DVD
Best comedy of the year.
6 - Superbad DVD
Based on the first 10 minutes of which I’ve seen, this is awesome.
7 - WINDY CITY HEAD DVD (always a great stocking stuffer)
Funniest. Movie. Ever.
8 - BLADE RUNNER - THE FINAL CUT (DVD - 2 dvd set)
Apparantly this is THE DIRECTOR'S CUT with some cleaning up of the film and some choice commentary and documentaries - but if you don't have it yet, it's a must have.
9 - CALIGULA Ultimate Edition (2 DVD SET)
Need I say more?
10 - FREAKS & GEEKS - THE ENTIRE SERIES (okay, this one might cost you more then 30, but well worth it)
This show was the bomb. NBC cancelled it, but these guys now seem unstoppable.
11 - THE OFFICE (BBC) - THE ENTIRE SERIES (my highest reccomendation)The best sitcom ever, on a shelf with Seinfeld and The Honeymooners.
LASTLY....
If you don't get the STERN RADIO SHOW on SIRIUS yet, you are only cheating yourself from the hands down funniest dialog you are ever likely to hear in your lifetime.
That’s a wrap for the year.
Don’t drink & drive.
Being that this is the exact same format the BBC OFFICE went (2 seasons and a wrap up,) this had a lot to live up to. TV GUIDE actually let some spoilers leak, so I went into this knowing a few things, which sucked. However, despite that, this was pretty bloody good. They took the Andy character about as far as they could take him as well as his platonic relationship with…(It can’t be a great sign that I don’t remember her name – although she was never my favorite part of the show.) I wish there had been more scenes of Andy and his agent, and the whole thing was a bit on the dark side, but that’s probably why I liked it so much. I wish there had been a bit more finesse to it, and a few of the jokes were a bit too self conscience (like the Kramer doll and the Direc TV bit) but mostly, this was pretty great. Who even knew we were getting a finale? Although – strangely enough, it kind of felt like a bigger rewrite of the last episode of the series (the ep with DeNiro.) While EXTRAS will never be in the same category as THE OFFICE BBC, it did have many many moments of greatness, particularly the second season. And to have this 90 minute finale was a great cap to a damn fine show. While I think they over stated their point a few times, and got a bit preachy here and there, this still worked exceedingly well and serves as a satisfying conclusion to the show.
Grade: A -
THERE WILL BE BLOOD (IN THEATERS)
Long. Tedious. And kind of brilliant. Daniel Day Lewis is so good. Paul Anderson Thomas, best known for the perfect BOOGIE NIGHTS, somehow changes who he is as a filmaker in this 3 hour epic based on the oil biz in the 20s. Lewis’ performance will haunt you for a long time to come.
Grade: A
LARS AND THE REAL GIRL (IN THEATERS)
Clever concept. Piss poor execution. For proof that Ryan Gosling can star in a horrible movie, look no further. If you really want to see what a REAL GIRL (an expensive sex doll) looks like, go to www.realgirl.com - at least you won’t have to sit through this movie. Which is bad. Really really bad.
Grade: D
THE SAVAGES (IN THEATRES)
Laura Linney and Phillip Seymour Hoffman are touching and real in this great film I recently saw directed by Tamara Jenkins – who you might remember from the great SLUMS OF BEVERLY HILLS. This is a lot more bleak than that film – but the performances are so good there is simply never a dull moment. As good as Linney is, I think that Hoffman might be the best actor of his generation.
Grade: A
SPIDERMAN 3 (DVD)
A 2 hour and 20 minute fucking insult. Some of the best special effects in recent memory as well as some of the very worst dialog, acting, pacing, directing, lighting, scoring and mostly every other aspect of this sitcom-like extension of the franchise. To get the big picture, this is the last BATMAN film with George Clooney that everybody hated and killed the franchise. This is the worst of the 3 new STAR WARS films, all of which were truly drop dead awful. Sam Raimi is a GREAT director. He made the EVIL DEAD trilogy, which is insanely good. He also made a great drama called A SIMPLE PLAN that features the best Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton performances you’re ever likely to see. I even think he made a great actress out of Bridget Fonda in that movie. But this is dead on arrival. The bad sitcom like plotting in terms of the James Franco character and his….it’s too complicated. Anyway – very, very bad. With good intentions. Had they chopped this down to 90 minutes, it could’ve been okay – but probably not. It’s just bad. Really, really bad. Awful.
Gradeless.
Fuck you, Rami. Wasting my time with this bullshit.
PS: Why does the SPIDERMAN theme sound EXACTLY like the BATMAN theme? Did they think we wouldn’t notice? Even the music cues seem to be lifted directly from Batman. What’s up with that? I’m not kidding – it’s EXACTLY the same score only somehow not quite as good.
RUNNIN DOWN A DREAM: TOM PETTY DOCU (DVD)
Not a huge Petty fan but this 4 hour docu by Peter Bogdonavich almost made me one. This package comes with 2 dvds that cover the docu, another dvd of a unreleased great live show, and a 4th disc – a CD with live cuts and rarities. This is 25 bux at Best Buy. If you’re into Petty – this is an insane deal.
Highly recommended.
PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN 3 (DVD)
I had this for a month. I just sat down to watch it. I got through about 4 minutes.
I think women really love Depp and Bloom, for I know no man who likes these movies.
I don’t get it.
Not even a little.
T2: JUDGEMENT DAY (DVD - XTREME EDITION)
By the way, this double disc, loaded to the gills with extras and Easter eggs, is TARGET right now for 5.95 - which means it's probably about to be re-released - but you'd do well to own this version. Since this is one of the best action films ever made, with and ending as good and sentimental as the rest of the film is action fill led. The "extended version" has a few unfortunate moments that probably should've remained on the cutting room floor (like Eddie Furlong teaching Arnold's Terminator how to "smile".) However, when we get the entire REESE flashback - it's hard to argue with the longer edition. The extras are so plentiful on this 2 discer that the 5.95 price at TARGET is a bit of a lovely joke. By the way, T3 pretty much sucked, and T4 is coming. Imagine how exciting it would be if Cameron were returning to the series? With Eddie Furlong? Nah, it'll be Christian Bale and an action director. (sigh.)
Grade: A +
GOODFELLAS (DVD)
Watched a bit of this just recently - the newer editions have a great commentary track with the actual wiseguy himself, Henry Hill. Still, the scenes with Maury are still the greatest of all time, and Joe Pesci's "You think I'm funny" is still frightengly fantastic.
Grade: A+
COOL AS ICE (SHOWTIME)
I recently watched for the first time - this Vanilla Ice movie from the late 80s - and WOW, this is some bad shit. And not in the bad/good way - this is just BAD. Yet, it's so bad it's borderline brilliant. It's shot in the worst style I've ever seen, Vanilla Ice's wardrobe and hairstyle are ones for hte ages, his "friends" from the hood - trust me - this fucking thing just has to be seen to be believed. How Michael Gross got sucked into this is anybodies guess - but check out the first time we see the "normal" family and how the director wanted them to play out in a sort of "RAP"....this is impossible to explain - you have to see this stinking bad flick.
Grade: F / A (for camp value)
For some reason I reviewed this twice - I always find it interesting to compare what I was thinking on what day - the next review I must've wrote after just watching it - let's compare:
COOL AS ICE (HBO)I started watching this VANILLA ICE movie the other night on cable - I don't know who the girl is but she was gorgeous. The father of the girl who likes Vanilla Ice is played by Michael Gross. Now let me see if I can explain the plotline of this "film" - as I understand it. Vanilla Ice is cool. Cool as Ice. In fact, at the beginning of the movie, he's breakdancing in dry ice, so we KNOW he's cool. Also - his 3 best friends, his little motorcycle gang - is black. And one of them is a CHICK! So yeah - we know he's cool. After Ice and the girl meet cute around her horse (I'm not kidding) she sort of punches him in the chest to which Ice replies "You hit pretty good - for a girl." She smartly snaps back with "Well, coming from a big dangerous biker like you, I'll take that as a compliment." They almost smile at each other - but not quite. FUCK! This movie is COOL!!!!!!! They then show her family, lead by Michael Gross of FAMILY TIES as the dad, and for soem inexplicable reason, the family scene is initially shot in a bad hip-hop style that doesn't seem to make sense - u sort of have to see it to believe it. And then, even more inexpliciably, Ice and his friends take their bikes to be repaired by an old "funny" couple that live next door to this girl! (Like I said - it has to be seen to be believed.) Anyway - Ice and the girl get close, dad reveals that he's under the witness protection program due to some tomfoolery in his police career - you know what - just see the film - some movies are so bad they're just bad - this movie is so bad it's fucking GOLD, Jerry, GOLD.Grade: A
MEATLOAF: 3 BATS LIVE (DVD)
This is personally hard for me because I LOVE Meatloaf. He’s been a part of my musical reference since I was a kid. But there is some unfortunate things happening in this DVD. This is one of the best Meatloaf concerts ever put on dvd – and the man’s voice is not up to it. Meat is about 62, and his voice is slipping. This is a GREAT collection, and it works despite the vocal limitations, but still – what a shame. Also, OBJECTS and ANYTHING FOR LOVE are both strangely missing their middle verses (he did this in the show me and Steven G. saw in San Diego as well.) But – for the big fans – this is a must, and the videos are pretty cool, though for some reason at the last minute, a 2nd disc with a great docu on Meat is missing. (maybe they’ll release it later – but apparently this was a 90 minute docu that truly rocked.) Also, why does he choose to end this show with some horrible bad songs from NON BAT cds and then a horrifying cover of GIMME SHELTER? Still, a lot of this really does rock. And if his voice isn’t up to par, the band and his energy and even the blind enthusiasm of the new 20 year old singer that replaces Patti Russo, who’d been in the band for 20 years but has left in a cloud of mystery, giving way to this newer onstage singer, who resembles Meat’s granddaughter and makes watching then make out in PARADISE a bit creepy. It’s still a lot of great songs with Meatloaf at the helm. One only wonders what kind of encore they’d have if Meat were still in tip top voice and Jim Steinman was all the way involved in both Bat 3 and the following tour; as he was on BAT 2. Either way, if you ever loved BAT OUT OF HELL and you buy music dvds, this is definitely a must buy. The sound is superb. And some of the versions are really growing on me. Oh, fuck – don’t listen to me – I LOVE Meatloaf. Even when he’s not at his best. I just love the guy. Impossible for me to give him a bad grade when he’s out there killing himself singing his biggest hits.
Grade: B +
DRAWN TOGETHER (COM)
"Drawn Together Babies"This was a pretty funny, if completely inconsistent with the show's mythology, (which changes all the time anyway) but fun nonetheless to see the babies up for murder and mayhem even in diapers. Sometimes this show is SERIOUSLY funny – this was not one of those times.
Grade: B –
ER (NBC)Really seems to be chugging along. Most of the major players are gone, but there are enough new players and some revitilization of the older characters to make this season (reportedly the last) very satisfying.
THE SOPRANOS "WHOEVER DID THIS" (DVD)
I recently re watched this episode in which Joey Pants meets his maker. Brilliant. Tony lets Ralphie get away with killing a stripper but kills him over a horse. This show will be missed forever. Will there ever be characters like this again?
MY NIGHT AT THE GRAMMYS (CBS)
This could have been great – 2 hours of fantastic grammy moments. Unfortunately, it was ruined by placing celebrities in little boxes to comment on, and therefore ruin, every performance shown.
Grade:
Concept: A
Execution: D
BARRY MANILOW - SONGS OF THE 70s (PBS)
If you are a fan of Barry, and I admit, guilty - this was a masterful set of songs, both from the new cd and Barry’s own blistering 70s catalog. It’s not on dvd yet – but I hope it gets there, because it'd be a nice new collection and he puts delivers a stunning performance on I WRITE THE SONGS, which sounds like he just wrote it.
Grade: A +
FRANK TV (TBS)
Frank is a talented guy and a gifted mimic.
I’ve heard him on Stern and found him to be funny, affable and simply lovely.
His show, however, is totally unwatchable.
Grade: F
HOUSE (FOX)
I recently caught up and watched the 4 episodes before the break. Dazzling, smart, brilliantly acted - what sounded like a weird concept of House choosing his new team became a fantastic storytelling device and got House involved with lots of different personalities. Favorite moment: when House hired the chick from the government – then dispatched her when he realized she was an idiot.
Grade: A
SOUTH PARK (COMEDY CENTRAL) - "Imaginationland - parts 1,2 & 3"
This was so good it could’ve been their next feature. The sight of Cartman walking around grousing about Kyle not sucking his balls – maybe you had to be there – but in it’s – whatever number season – the creators have made this funnier, smarter, and more relevant with every episode.
Grade: B +
INTO THE WILD (DVD)
The best film Sean Penn ever made, the best acting by Emille Hirsch ever put on film, and a great retelling of a true story that I remember very well in the early 90s. This kid had graduated high school and decided to forgo his parents money (of which there was a lot of) and decided to go on this half-assed journey to Alaska. Lyrical, trenchant, but never overly romantic about this kid’s plight, this film is going to be talked about for a long time. I thought Eddie Vedder’s songs for the film were all fairly pointless and just took a few points away. (and now - a week and a half after writing this, I'm starting to come around to the soundtrack a little.)
Grade: A -
If you haven’t heard Artie “coming out” to George Takai on STERN – you haven’t lived.
I AM AN ANIMAL: (HBO)
Unforgettaqble images make the case here for going vegan. I haven’t finished watching because some of the images are so disturbing – but based on the first half, which I plan on finishing shortly, it’s a tough look at THE toughest subject.
Grade based on first half: A +
DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
I watched the last 7 episodes in the last couple of weeks. It’s the best. I was a little worried about the first batch of eps because it felt like a certain laziness had set in, but the next run of eps were uniformly exciting and the finale was pitch perfect and in some ways sort of horrifying. Dexter season 2 has a much more satsisfying conclusion than season one. Despite loads of bad acting (the sister actually got worse this year,) DEXTER is one hell of a show. Last year, they put on a great show. This year, they dazzled.
Grade: A +
AMERICAN DAD (FOX)
I still love this show, but there were a lot of misses this season.
Grade: B
DAVE ATTEL: CAPTAIN MISERABLE (HBO)
I really like this guy and think he’s really funny. That said, I didn’t get this standup set at all. I thought it intimated comedy but didn’t really deliver any comedy. Which is not to say it doesn’t have its moments. It’s just few and far between.
Grade: D +
Because it’s not aggressively bad.
AN OPEN LETTER TO GEORGE LOPEZ
I saw you on some TV show the other day, talking about the Amy Winehouse nominations. You said something like "I guess if doing drugs, cutting yourself up gets you the nominations...etc.) - You went on to some very bad punchline that didn't even make the reporter laugh. Now here is the deal, Mister Lopez. How your show is still on the air, is truly a testament to good fucking luck and power of your own personal prayer. The reason she got the nominations is because no matter how fucked up her personal life is, Amy Winehouse is the best female singer to come along in about a decade. And I know late at night, when you think about how talented she is, you probably say to yourself "If I only had that talent, I would never do those fucked up things." Unfortunately, that's something you'll never know about, because as marginally talented as you are, and while you are certainly a success by anyone's measure, you will never know what it's like to be as uniquely talented as someone like Winehouse, so please continue to do your rotten sitcom and remember to thank God the next time you are nominated for anything. And as far as doing fucked up things, you did them all! So what the fuck are you talking about? Really, when it comes to Winehouse, keep your mouth shut, hack.
What's the deal with CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR? Tom Hanks in a movie with Julia Roberts?
JULIA ROBERTS as an old southern belle? Jesus fucking Christ. Does nobody remember "I kissed Sidney Pottier" at the Oscars???? Julia being in a movie in which she could potentially be nominated or even win, or even do a round of talk shows is a BAD BAD THING AND MUST BE STOPPED.
Ryan Seacrest is the only bad thing in KNOCKED UP. His promos on IN DEMAND where he spoofs his role, are so bad my cat recently learned how to change the channel.
GOOD OL' CHARLES SHULZ (PBS)
I am and always will be a huge fan of PEANUTS. It’s been a huge part of my life and it’s the classiest, funniest thing I’d ever read as a kid and kept reading for a long time after. This docu, which has a lot of testimonials from people close to the creator of Peanuts, Charles M. Schultz, and lots of footage of Schultz himself being interviewed. I would’ve liked to have seen the last hour, but TIME/WARNER fucked my shit up and erased everything on my DVR, and it was on PBS, so who knows when it’s be on again – but based on what I saw, and how interesting it managed to be and how Schulz is really a compelling subject….
Grade: A +
HOSTEL 2 (DVD)
Get the unrated version – I think I reviewed this last time, but ended up seeing it again with a friend, and I now think it’s even better than I initially gave it credit for. It’s creepy and funny and about the best they could do for an encore, to the first, better film. But this is pretty fun. The scene in which the various guys around the world are bidding is an instant classic.
Grade: B +
SUPERBAD (DVD – UNRATED EDITION)
This rocked. Maybe not as much as KNOCKED UP, but it's not a really fair comparison. They are two completely different, and hilarious, movies. As far as SUPERBAD goes, not quite everything works. The more outlandish and high-concept some of the bits get, the less fun they play out since this is mostly grounded in reality. But for straight out belly laughs, look no further. And as good as Michael Cera is, Jonah Hill, seen in 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN trying to buy boots at Kathy Keener's Ebay store - and in KNOCKED UP as Seth's fould mouthed friend - becomes a star in this movies. I think this guy could do anything - and he's one of the funniest guys to come around in a while.
Grade: A -
JANICE DICKENSON MODELING AGENCY (OXYGEN)
Janice is insanely unlikable and unpleasant, yet I really like this show, somehow a little better in it’s 3rd season than it was in its second.
BAD GIRLS CLUB (Season 2 – OXYGEN)
The new bad girls appear to be a pretty insane lot, but I don’t think anything will ever compare to the first season girls. They seemed to have personalities beyond the fighting. These girls are just truly insane on every level. And highly entertaining.
Grade: B -
DAVID GILMOUR: REMEMBER THAT NITE (DVD)
One of the best sounding dvds out there, and Gilmour, who has lost a LOT of credit to Roger Waters, IS the voice of Pink Floyd, plays some of the best guitar in the business, and has a lot of new great songs, particularly, SMILE. Plus the entire Pink Floyd cannon. Here, he performs COMFORTABLY NUMB with David Bowie and an acoustic version of SHINE ON with Crosby, Stills and Nash. Astonishing.
Grade: A
IN POT WE TRUST (SHOWTIME)
Very fine Showtime docu on people who really need medical marijuana. Don't we all?
Grade: B
REBA (SYND)
I recently took in a few eps of this while I was cleaning my apt. I think the success of this show is pretty good proof that the yahoos are winning.
KITCHEN NIGHTMARES (FOX)
Da bomb. Bring this one back. I will never look at any restaurant the same way again, and Gordon Ramsey is a TV natural. Great subjects, great episodes.
Grade: B +
A SHOT AT LOVE W/ TILA TEQUILA (MTV)
I’m going to try and imitate Tila’s sing-song voice to try and convey how annoying she sounds. (She does this a lot when she’s trying to sound important.) Okay, so – this is Tila talking, and when she raises her voice, I’ll use caps. Tila Tequila: “Okay, so like, I brought them to my STUDIO. Where I’m a RECORDING ARTIST. And like, my producer has worked with PARIS HILTON and LINDSEY LOHAN, and now, most importantly, TILA TEQUILA.” I’m not kidding – I wish I could record a sample of what I mean and post it – I’m sure I could find a perfect you tube clip, but I’m too lazy to add these links that would make this a better blog. Tila looks kind of strange. Not that she’s ugly, she’s just…kind of weird. So – this was a dating show with a twist – Tila supposedly wanted to figure out if she wanted to end up with a guy or a girl. Tila: “I’m coming out now and it’s really IMPORTANT to me. And I don’t know if I want a GUY or a GIRL or what…” Now, the show was great, had great characters, truly some real fucking maniacs, and the conclusion was interesting enough. But I think it’s all bullshit. I’ve heard from a lot of people that Tila has a boyfriend, and is totally hetero (the scenes of her kissing other women didn’t really came off as authentic.) So I guess this was to promote her music career. Her what? I’ve heard some of it, and I prefer to listen to the SPIDERMAN THREE album. Oh my GOD, I’m talking like TILA now…I wonder if because she has a sing-song voice she thought she could sing?
Grade: C
How annoying do the new ads for PS I LOVE YOU with Hilary Swank look? How annoying is Hilary Swank? Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeech.
Remember when NIP/TUCK used to be smart, sexy, and daring? Now it’s one shitbag story after the other. And isn’t it funny how after they exploited living in Los Angeles for a few episodes, now the show could take place back in Miami for all of it’s CALIFORNIA vibe it wants to have? Honestly – the time has come. Maybe Ryan Murphy can come up with a great batch of episodes to finish this out – but this is the worst show on television. Let’s let all these talented people go on to something new and fresh and not this grim reminder of a once vibrant tv show that actually was cutting edge for its first few seasons.
I saw a few minutes of the HD BLADE RUNNER FINAL CUT at BEST BUY – it looked amazing I want to update every single component I own. It looks truly insane in HD. I’m ready to buy into this technology. I think the way to go is the hybrid HD/BLU RAY machine that plays both. And whoever reads this blog, if you wanted to get me a 70” HD PANASONIC, I would definitely not mind, nor accuse you of trying to buy my friendship.
IDEAS FOR XMAS/CHANUKA (Under 30 bux)
(Sorry – I should’ve had this blog posted 2 weeks ago, but I’ve been busy. So here it is, anyway – still a good way to spend 30 bux.)
1 - Meatloaf - 3 Bats Live
Meat's voice doesn't sound the same, and replacing Patti Russo with a 20 year old was a blunder, but this dvd still kind of rocks.
2 - Tom Petty - Runnin' Down A Dream (dvd at Best Buy only)
I think this is 8 hours long - for serious Petty fans only (I'm not one)
3 - Eagles - Long Road Out Of Eden (Walmart Only - but you can find it on Amazon)
This rocks.
4 - Led Zep - Mothership CD/DVD
Not a huge fan, but supposedly this is fantastic if you are.
5 - Knocked up DVD
Best comedy of the year.
6 - Superbad DVD
Based on the first 10 minutes of which I’ve seen, this is awesome.
7 - WINDY CITY HEAD DVD (always a great stocking stuffer)
Funniest. Movie. Ever.
8 - BLADE RUNNER - THE FINAL CUT (DVD - 2 dvd set)
Apparantly this is THE DIRECTOR'S CUT with some cleaning up of the film and some choice commentary and documentaries - but if you don't have it yet, it's a must have.
9 - CALIGULA Ultimate Edition (2 DVD SET)
Need I say more?
10 - FREAKS & GEEKS - THE ENTIRE SERIES (okay, this one might cost you more then 30, but well worth it)
This show was the bomb. NBC cancelled it, but these guys now seem unstoppable.
11 - THE OFFICE (BBC) - THE ENTIRE SERIES (my highest reccomendation)The best sitcom ever, on a shelf with Seinfeld and The Honeymooners.
LASTLY....
If you don't get the STERN RADIO SHOW on SIRIUS yet, you are only cheating yourself from the hands down funniest dialog you are ever likely to hear in your lifetime.
That’s a wrap for the year.
Don’t drink & drive.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)