2010/02/23

MOON and MODERN FAMILY

MOON (DVD)
I finished Moon. It's kind of a variation on 2001 except it all takes place in the cockpit of a spaceship. After a slow start, the central story emerges, but frankly, its so specific that I don't really want to go into detail. Any talk of the plot is a spoiler. That said, Sam Rockwell is great and Keven Spacey is perfect as the voice of the ship's computer. I have some quibbles, but this is really good.
Grade: B

I am really starting to like MODERN FAMILY. I don't love it, nor does it induce belly laughs. But there is a very good feeling I get from it. I love the actors and the writing is very good and I like it more and more with each episode.

I LOVE Windows 7. My computer crashed and it's a real disaster that I'll bitch about more in a future entry, but I was forced to buy a new desktop. I got an ASUS which is superfast and I love the new Windows application (even if it does not support my all time favorite music jukebox, MusicMatch. There is a downloadable Yahoo version that you can find online, but its just not the same...To be continued.

2010/02/20

The New WE ARE THE WORLD and those new Leno promos

WE ARE THE WORLD (25 years later)
In support of Haiti, the new generation of singers spent a few days laying down tracks for this 25 year follow up to the original Michael Jackson classic. What's different? Well, they have some great new singers who belt out this old song like Jennifer Hudson who couldn't sound better, Josh Groban, also excellent...

And that's where the praise stops. Pretty much everything else about this is just horrible. From the awful new lyrics, to the shots of Haiti that are shown over some singer's entire segments so we don't even know who's singing, to the ghastly inclusion of MJ, to the horrifying rap segment, to the overuse of Autotune (a good idea for one line, not 20), to the insipid inclusion of Randy "Dog" Jackson...where does it all end? On top of everything, whenever I go to Youtube to take a look at it, I'm mistreated to a 4 minute discourse by the most overrated self satisfied performer in history - Jaimee Fox, discussing Haiti and looking very serious before we get to hear him belt out his auto-tuned ego. In fact, they should've just called this whole thing EGO. But it's fucking rubbish. Really. Haiti reportedly saw this and said "yeah, no thanks."
Grade: F -

MOON (DVD Screener)
Okay, only half way though - but so far, so great. Will give a fuller review when I finish.

FUNNY GAMES (German version)
I rewatched this over the weekend and thought this was truly a horrifying masterpiece and the woman who plays the wife might be the best actress of all time - yet I don't know her name.

If you're thinking about seeing this, don't even consider watching the American version.
Grade: A

TAXI DRIVER (DVD)
With Shutter Island news all over the dial, I ended up watching this classic with the girlfriend over the weekend. This is really where it all started (I loved Mean Streets) but Taxi Driver is an outright masterpiece. It plays so well its like a great song. The shots, the acting, the dialoge, the action sequences - this is truly the most nimble work DeNiro's ever done and the direction by Marty here is just like..something that would never happen again. Until RAGING BULL. And then KING OF COMEDY. And GOODFELLAS. Even CASINO had it. I know a lot of you liked THE DEPARTED. Not me. I don't think Marty's made a good film since Casino. Starting with CAPE FEAR, it almost seems like the man has forgot his craft. Although I might go see Shutter Island this weekend just to make sure.

But if you want to know where the genius came in, it was with TAXI DRIVER. That scene of DeNiro watching American Bandstand, pointing his gun at the young black couple on TV while Jackson Browne's LATE FOR THE SKY plays...that is where every great movie/music sequence was born.
Grade: A +


Drag Me To Hell (DVD)
Sam Raimi, more in EVIL DEAD mode here than SPIDERMAN, crafts a clever modern horror yarn that works just fine for the 2 hours it plays. But since I watched it last week and cannot remember anything about it nor who was even it it....I'd say that isn't a great sign. But I remember sort of liking it while it was on.
Grade: C +

AMERICAN IDOL is getting exciting again. Next week the top 24 start, and I like the contestants this year. I don't even mind Ellen nearly as much as I thought I would...though she is truly unfunny. Sorry, but it's true. Her "humor" is....I don't know what the fuck it is. It ain't funny.

It apperas that the all the hoopla surrounding Howard Stern stepping in for Simon Cowell on American Idol may not be so accurate. I liked the idea, and thought Stern would've been great, and Howard clearly had a great time having fun with it on the air, calling Ellen a "fake shitheat" and Ryan Seacrest a "total tool" and said he'd bring back Dunkleman! He also said he'd smack Randy Jackson in the mouth if he heard "dog" ever again leave his lips. And this is the least of what he said. What he went on to say about Fantasia would have to be heard to be believed, but I wouldn't repeat it here.

In any case, I do think Idol is exploring the possibility of Stern, though Cowell, in a statement, said Howard would be out of his depth since he has no musical background. But then Cowell went on to say that he thought it could work with Perez Hilton, so...maybe Simon could give a shit less what happens to Idol and a lot more concern of his is reserved for next year's THE X FACTOR which he and Paula Abdul will judge and Mr. Cowell will own. In fact, Simon saying Stern bad...Perez (also with no musical experience) good....sounds like Simon might want his old show to die once X Factor comes on. In fact, I think I like that theory.

I saw the new Leno promos. Everyone is saying that NBC and Leno are dissing Cocan with the "Get back" theme...but, as much as I think Leno is the Antichrist, the actual lyrics are "Get back to where you ONCE belonged" I do not think discredits Conan so much as the whole idea that his show was taken away. But again, the man lost money for the network and that was not going to cut it. And he had a great lead in...wasn't it...Leno? Hmmmm...Conan didn't really have a chance with that setup. I mean, Conan wasn't funny, but then again, neither is Leno. So clearly success in that hour has nothing to do with actual comedy.

Speaking of Coco, did you see those weird pictures of him kissing a dolphin? First of all, dolphins held captive now kind of turns my stomach ever since watching The Cove, secondly, why does he look 80 years old with an afro? What a strange looking picture. It makes me think Conan was under a lot more hair and makeup than we ever thought.

By the way, I don't know if I believe he'll ever get a proper late night show again. Fox is talking about how they don't want to lose money on the show like NBC did, and how the affiliates don't really want it, and how they might put him on F/X four nights a week with a weekend version of the show.

Um...why didn't he take the 12:05 show again?

Lastly, I've recently been watching episodes of the late Judd Apatow show UNDECLARED. This was basically a half hour version of FREAKS AND GEEKS which got cancelled the year before. Judd thought he'd score with a similar setup in a half hour harder comedy version. First of all, FREAKS was one of the best 17 hours of produced television EVER. That was an A + show and if you haven't seen it, rent or buy. Immediately. It's that good.

UNDECLARED is a different beast. It start Jay Baruchnal and Charlie Hunan (who now stars as Jax on one of my favorite shows SONS OF ANARCHY) however here Hunan sports his real English accent and shows a real flair for comedy. Seth Rogan also graduated from GEEKS to this show as both an actor and a writer and lots of familiar Apatow faces flood this thing (which only lasted 18 eps - 1 more than FREAKS but since it was a half hour, it still doesn't beat GEEK's running time.)

Anyway, I'm in the middle of the run and while the first few shows were just okay with signs of good things to come, I just watched an episode that was so hilarious about Jay taking a job in the cafeteria that was as funny a half hour as anything I've seen in forever, so I look forward to unspooling the rest of these.

How bad does the new REAL WORLD: WASHINGTON suck? I ditched it after only 3 episodes and those were nearly impossible to take. Bad, boring casting.

I sort of like the new CELEB FIT CLUB even though I barely recognize anyone on it, and CELEB REHAB is winding down with a spate of eventless episodes. (I really liked SOBER HOUSE - what happened to that show.)

Couch out.

2010/02/15

The Strangers, Meatloaf 1979, Art Of Being Straight, Lesbian Vampire Killers

My apologies. My main computer is still down so I'm doing this still from my netbook. Please excuse what are bound to be many typos, misuses of words and general shoddiness. But my belief is that you'd rather have the reviews with errors rather than nothing at all. I should get my computer back this week.


THE STRANGERS (DVD)
I know this was based on a true story about some home invaders and a young couple. I don't know just how fact-based this is, so I'll just review this as a suspense yarn on its own terms. Liv Tyler and (I think) Scott Speedman (I might be dead wrong - it could be an actor I've never heard of) play a young couple who are staying in his dad's beautiful but remote cabin when the door is knocked upon by a young woman seemingly lost and asking if "Tamara" is home. Pretty creepy setup and the film spends a good bit of time making you invest in the two lead characters. The problem is that the director takes far too much time in the cat & mouse between the hunters and the hunted, and everything is pointed at by an eerie, completely over the top score that indicates everything that's about to happen. Other than that, this is a decent rental, Liv Tyler is pretty believable as is the other lead who I can't quite place, but this is no FUNNY GAMES, the German film that was remade a few years ago into a slightly less successful American made version directed by the same guy. Funny Games got it right. This one has its moments with the same material, but ultimately is both a drag and anti-climactic. The most interesting parts of this are thrown away in the last 8 minutes or so. But not bad if you're looking for a decent thrill.
Grade: C


MEATLOAF Original UK Tour 1979 (DVD)

http://www.amazon.com/Bat-Out-Hell-Original-Tour/dp/B002N7W3O4/ref=sr_1_16?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1266221091&sr=8-16
A real treat for Meatloaf fans, this is the real deal. A mostly full concert from the original BAT era. (Well, the set list here includes most of BAT I including Bat Out Of Hell, All Reved Up, 2 out of 3, Paradise by the Dashboard Light; but leaves out Heaven Can Wait and For Crying Out Loud.) Were they included in the original show? I doubt it, since he didn't often do CRYING back in the day and HEAVEN was also a no-show in a lot of those early concerts. That said, this is a heavenly document of a German show taped for Rockaplast that, all things considered, looks and sounds fantastic. The video is crisp and clean and the audio is surprisingly layerer for its time. To see Meat on the vocals and Jim Steinman on the piano - that is really a treat for Meat fans. Mostly the only shows available are STORYTELLERS, MELBOURNE and 3 BATS LIVE; all post 1990 shows. There is a VHS around called BAT PICTURE SHOW which has some live stuff and of course, you can scour the internet and find plenty of stuff, but for a high end DVD edition of the early stuff, this is probably about as good as its going to get.
Grade: A

THE ART OF BEING STRAIGHT (DVD)
This felt like amateur hour. Bad acting and directing doubled up with pretentious music and out of date concepts like "can I tell my friends that I might be gay?" And this film doesn't even bother to wrestle with anything real - it's all superficial and badly done and really...the film is too fucking hokey to really review properly. Avoid at all costs.
Grade: F


I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (DVD)
I know there are a lot of Tucker Max fans out there. I used to be one of them though I quickly grew weary of the guy. For the uninitiated, Tucker Max is a 20something who grew to fame in the mid 90s based on his seemingly never ending sex stories. The stories were always outragous and always went for it in terms of every bodily function you can imagine. You can still read the stories online as I know Tucker still has a website up full of the old classic stories. But frankly, I hated this fucking film. The guys were truly an unlikable bunch of women haters and the filmaker seems to think that Tucker is some kind of genius because he talks a lot. They mistake being verbose with being smart. This movie is the opposite of anything remotely smart. Some of the dialog is okay but frankly, I'm a guy who loves these down and dirty sex comedies...and I hated this. Badly directed and poorly written, this has nothing going for it except for some very badly staged outragous sex scenarios. And frankly, the best ones didn't even make it into the movie. This film needed nimble direction, and all it got was a sledgehammer.
Grade: F


LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS (DVD)

Unwatchable after 10 minutes. I turned it off. That bad.

I thought the Octamom made a great contestant on JIMMY KIMMEL's recent DATING GAME segment that saw Ms. Suleman question 3 lucky men who were trying for a date with the recently svelte Octomom. Jimmy made a fantastic host and made me think there is a spin off potential here.

THE COVE (DVD)
Fantastic documentary about the practice of killing dolphins in Japan. Just how Japan goes about its quest to kill one of natures most intelligent beings is as gross as this movie is inspiring. It's a must see and after seeing this, I actually texted and became web-involved in trying to save the dolphins. Either way, this is a breathtaking documentary. And terribly upsetting.
Grade: A

2010/02/12

Celeb Rehab & 24 plus: my pick for site of the year!

I love this site:
http://www.facebook.com/MunchieTalentAgency?ref=ts#!/MunchieTalentAgency?ref=ts


In other news...
My computer is down. Writing this from Stir Crazy on Melrose (the best damn sandwiches on the block) in fact.
STIR CRAZY
6917 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA
Best coffee, best sandwiches & desserts and free wi-fi.

I'm in a bit of a crisis with my computer down. Seems I might new a new
mother board - whatever that means.

In the meantime, I'm using my Asus Eee Pc Netbook (if you go for a netbook, I highly reccomend this one - which I believe is the only 12" display on the market. I had one in December but it was the 10" and I found it impossible to type on. I'm a huge fan of this model You plug it in for 2 hours and get like, 7 hours of usage, it instantly looks for a wi-fi signal as soon as you turn it on and has a built in cam and mike.

I started watching DR. DREW'S CELEB REHAB (VH1) and Kari Ann from the sex edition episodes is on this one as well. And she's twice the bitch. I've never seen a character like her before, so please - let VH1 develop a whole hour around this hateful character. I would love it. Dennis Rodman appears to be out of his mind and so far in denial that when Dr. Drew informed him that he might end up with Alheimer's in a few years from the drinking, Rodman's response was "It'll sort itself out." McKenzie Phillips is quite the dramatic actress and of course very vocal, but you would have to have a heart of stone not to feel something for all these people. Amber Smith, who I think is literally addicted to everything and has been on every single edition of this show, arrived this week to talk about her many addictions. Not only do you have all that, you also get Heidi Fleiss, who looks like she has had some seriuosly unfortunate plastic surgery on her lips that is mind-bending you have to see it to believe it, and her former lover Tom Sizemore, who is truly bizarre and weird and comes complete with his own crazy girlfriend, Monroe, who snuck drugs into the rehab clinic on Tom's first night. She came back to visit him and brought oxycontin. How about a reality show on that crazy couple?
And of course, there is depth here and real viewpoints on addiction and much of this is quite sobering, and tey have truly lined up an all star cast - except for the girl from Americas Top Model that I can barely remember. But this might be the best edition yet.
Grade: A


24 (Fox)
With the exception of some subplots we could care less about, (the President's ground-breaking talks, a woman at CTU and her ex-lover) the central storyline with Jack and Renee Walker is fantastic, if completlely far fetched. Still, this show still does the trick and the last few eps have been pretty great. When Jack made that deal and spoke perfect german...it was kind of great.
Grade: B+

Don't forget to visit:
http://www.facebook.com/MunchieTalentAgency?ref=ts#!/MunchieTalentAgency?ref=ts

Hilarious A+ site.

Dig Couch out.

2010/02/09

Howard TV rules.

Just thought I'd say that. I recently started watching a bunch of shows and they are, as always, top notch. And hilariously profane. The idea that he might take over IDOL is pretty fantastic, even if I think somehow it just can't happen. Especially after Howard's tirade yesterday about former Idol stars. I can't even repeat what he said about them here.

Jay Leno is on my TV right now from last night. He's crowing about that Superbowl commercial. He's so happy he connected with Dave. He's always come off as a dog that wants his belly rubbed, but last night he was just downright pathetic. It's the first time in a year he hasn't been seen as a villain, so I guess he'll feed off this for a decade. Don't worry, he's now doing a mind-numbing interview with an actress I don't recognize and cracking up at whatever she's saying.