THE BACHELOR rules and STUDIO 60 sucks!

WEEDS (SHOWTIME)
Weeds SCORES with a great ep including Snoop Dogg, MILF WEED, and some very hairy changing to an old acquaintance.
Grade: A

THE BACHELOR (ABC)
Another great installment. I love the girl with the angry/pouty face. And Erica, the "princess" is a total trip. I love when she said "that girl didn't go to college so you won't be able to talk to her about anything." When the bachelor was taken aback by her meanness, she simply replied "Sorry. I judge." Then when she didn't get her rose during dinner she completely fell apart. The girl form Italy is adorable. I love the girl who keeps calling him "baby" - I keep waiting for her to say "Shagadelic." And then there was the blonde who fell asleep - the camera operator did her no favors by literally shooting right up her nose - the bachelor awoke her - and she LITERALLY started talking sleepy gibberish which was funny - and to top it all off - she thought for a few minutes, in her stupor, that the bachelor was her waiter and was lambasting him for waking her up. She did not receive a rose. Go figure. This is one of the best seasons of THE BACHELOR ever.
Grade: B +

DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
Episode 2 continues down the same creepy path, and I'm loving it.
Grade: A

STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP (NBC)
What a weird show. On one hand, there's the Sorkin rapid-fire dialog to marvel at - but on the other - what the fuck planet is this show from? The "comedy" show they put on seems to be the worst show ever put on the air in the history of television. The "jokes" they come up with wouldn't even get on MAD TV. I mean - who are they kidding? And now even the drama is forced - Chandler's attraction to the blond Christian girl is so ridiculous - his going to the dancers to get advice was mind numbingly dumb - and they have DAWN from THE OFFICE BBC there in the writer's room and don't give her anything to do! But she does look fetching. Oh, Tim. Anyway - this show appears headed for the rails. I loved how they went to their faux "UPDATE" and the actors were so unfunny - I mean, Nick Cage and Juliette Lewis impressions would be funny in 2006? Wow - yet, as I berate the show, I also find it somewhat compulsively watchable - and that's my problem - for now. Most ridiculous was the reporter (Christine Lahti) who appeared to be covering the Iraqi war. This show....kinda sucks in a good way - but I suspect will soon start sucking completely.
Grade: C

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL (CW)
I can't believe they let that gorgeous black girl go - but she was a real jerk - which lead me to believe she'd be sticking around a while longer. I REALLY like the twins. Tyra's self-promotion, self-talk, constant references to herself and her REALLY BAD "acting" on all shows Tyra - they have got to stop NOW. Tyra used to be the level head on this show - now she's the biggest.
Grade: B -
FOR THOSE KEEPING UP - I think I lost the weight competition.

Why does IN DEMAND keep running promos for LOVE SONG FOR BOBBY LONG like it just came out yesterday and is the biggest hit of the season? I could actually quote the promo for it at this point - "I'm just a girl - don't you get it!!!!"

HOWARD STERN ON DEMAND remains one of the funniest things on tv.

One of my favorite sites is back up - go here for ZENtertainment!

http://www.zentertainment.com/blog/

WINDY CITY HEAT (DVD)
For those who didn't read my last column, WINDY CITY has been released on DVD. Only rent or buy if you want to watch the funniest movie of the last 4 years.
Grade: A +

E.R. (NBC)
Keeps chugging along. This week John Stamos joined the cast and John Mahoney was fantastic as a gay man who's live partner ends up in the hospital. 13 years later, this show still earns itself a solid:
Grade: A

THE OFFICE (NBC)
Dwight uproots Michael for the prime gig in the office. I didn't really buy it - thought this was a rare ep that didn't really stay true to the format - and any episode that's DWIGHT-CENTRIC is always going to be over the top. On the other hand - the stuff with Jim and that video game he was playing and all the scenes built around it - gold.
Grade: B -


ROGER WATERS AT THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL (THURSDAY NITE)
Nothing short of spectacular and one of the best shows I've seen in FOREVER. This was a truly epic retelling of much of the THE WALL and he then played DARK SIDE in it's entirety - complete with 6.1 like sound thought out the venue, and with imagery and great voice - this WAS a Pink Floyd concert and it truly came off perfect. Highly reccomended.
Grade: A +

From time to time, my old friend Anthony, both my ex-boss at SAM GOODY and now a media consultant - gives his reviews on the current crop. Again , these are not mine, but ANTHONY'S REVIEWS and the comment page should reflect if u're talking about my reviews or Anthony's. But he always offers a valuable contrast to my opinion and I'm glad to share his views - he also watches a lot of shows I don't see - so here goes Anthony:

ANTHONY'S REVIEWS:

THE CLASS
I am shocked at how the show hasn't caught on. However, I just wonder if it is simply too sophisticated for CBS's more rural, older audience. I find myself down to only a handful of comedies (three of them are animated). This is definitely one of the best new shows in years. The cast is terrific, and it balances comedy and emotion very well. Glad to see CBS swap it with the not as funny - but still good "How I Met Your Mother"
Grade: A

BROTHERS & SISTERS
Speaking of exceptional casts, ABC landed a strong one here. However, as a big fan of "Picket Fences" - and of Tom Skerritt, I think the show would've been much stronger had he not died in the first episode. A big waste of a talented actor. Despite all the upheavel that apparently has gone on behind the scenes, it sure did not show in the finished product.
Grade: A-

JUSTICE
David is correct that this show does a nice job of telling its story in an hour. And, you definitely feel the payoff when you find out the real deal at the end of the episode. So far, I have yet to be disappointed and Garber is strong in the lead. Glad to see Fox move it to Monday.
Grade: B+

STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP
As someone who was always thought that "The West Wing" was overrated (that is until NBC booted Sorkin's ass out of there and it turned into a great show), I kind of feel the same with "Studio 60." A lot of hype and critical praise. I didn't care too much for the pilot - but I did think the second episode came back better. The cast is solid - but Sorkin tends to lose me because he takes himself way too seriously.
Grade: C

THE NINE
I guess the theme for the new fall shows is generally some strong casts - and this show is no exception. Because I only saw the pilot - and I thought it was just OK - I will reserve judgment ... Right now it's a Grade: C, but check back,

SIX DEGREES
I think a weak cast full of characters who no one could care less about will doom this show. Ratings have been nothing short of a disaster - and I don't expect to see it last into November. I like the concept - but not the execution.
Grade: D


RUNAWAY
I really like the premise here and Wahlberg and Hope are strong as the parents. But the CW made a big mistake in not keeping "Everwood" as a back up show. This show has a little bit too much bite to follow the campy "7th Heaven." Like the show, but it will be gone soon.
Grade: B


UGLY BETTY
Only saw the pilot and I think it has potential. Want to see how the other characters develop. It is sort of early to judge it so I will give it an incomplete.

Grade: C

KIDNAPPED
NBC stuck this marvelous show in a bad slot on Wednesday against heavy competition - and with a horrible lead-in. When they re-ran the pilot on Saturday - it almost garnered similar numbers to Wednesday. Now that NBC has shut production and moved the show to Saturday, I am hoping that we will at least be able to see it wrap up. I think this was a good show lost in the shuffle of similarly themed programming.
Grade: A-

JERICHO
The critics kept saying this show would be an early goner - and as I expected, it has surprised many. Granted, it will have its work cut out for it when "Idol" and company return - but I fully expect it to have a loyal audience. We're still learning the characters but I hope to see it flesh out.
Grade: B

LOST premieres - what happened!

BACHELOR: PARIS (ABC)
What a premiere. The "bachelor" in question seems like a real shchmendrick - I can't vouch for this but I hear he's no prince - he's just a normal guy with royal lineage who lives in a one bedroom condo in NY. While I don't think he's Brad Pitt, he does seem a little goofy, way over his head - and actually seems like a really nice guy. The girls are a great mix of lunatics (mostly.) Some of them seem very sweet - and I can't wait till next week when everybody is at each other's throats.
Grade: B

DEXTER ( SHOWTIME)
An excellent new hour from Showtime that posits Michael C. Hall (6 FEET UNDER) as a Forensics expert who has a girlfriend and a secret double life in which he serial kills the bad guys that got away. If that sounds gimmicky - it plays really well - Michael Hall is a GREAT actor, the supporting roles are mostly well cast - the dialog original and quirky - and a great, creepy vibe. This is a completely solid new show and maybe the best show SHOWTIME has ever given us. Makes a very nice companion with WEEDS.
Grade: A

THE SHIELD (SEASON 2 DVD SET)
So - me and the girl finished season 2 - the money train went down and there is this great shot of all the strike team looking at the loot - great finish to a fun season - but looking forward to future seasons - as 3,4 & 5 kept getting progressively better.
Grade for season 2: A -

SHOPGIRL (DVD)
A very slow but completely absorbing straight forward drama about a girl (Scarlett Johansen) who sees two very different guys - the kid from RUSHMORE and Steve Martin, who plays a very rich man who is mostly interested in sex. No real surprises, but recommended
Grade: B -

THE WIRE (HBO)
Keeps getting better - so bleak, moving, funny, sad - God, I'm glad I got in on this at the beginning. After it's gone there will likely never be a show like it again. What it revealed this week about the Baltimore school system was deplorable.
Grade: A

PRISON BREAK (FOX)
I hate to give out spoilers - but suffice it to say that this is one of the most twisty, inventive action dramas out there. It works the same way 24 does in terms of adrenalin - but it has it's own vibe - and this season is turning very nasty. This last ep, where the gang tries to dig up some money located in a garage - was a stunner on many levels. Kudos.
Grade: B +

LOST (ABC - SEASON PREMIERE)

Season 2 ended on a fantastic note.
The promos promised the opening of season 3 would BLOW OUR MIND.
Uh huh.
Grade: C -

NIP/TUCK (FX)
The season had been going SO nicely - then Rosie O'Donnel shows up - has TONS of LIPPO - yet remains huge. She was terrible - her storyline could've been good had they not played for really bad laughs. The stuff with Matt and Kimber is RETARDED, and - on an obscure note - do you remember that really awful music they played during the CARVER finale? That really MIAMI sound? For some reason - they are now putting this samba music into every single episode - wow - I was really into the new season and then last nite - that shark just keeps swimming around the edges. This was truly the worst episode not only of the season, but one of the worst of the series. And why did Christian just give away to that lady that he's sleeping with the married woman and then he was SHOCKED that she used the info to blackmail him. Wow. This was about as bad as it gets.
Grade: D

WINDY CITY HEAT (DVD)

Finally - one of my favorite movies of all time is released on dvd. There are plenty of extras - but the film itself remains the brilliant centerpiece. Thank Comedy Central for putting together such a nice package and the extras are plentiful. I can't really describe this film - only to say in it's own way - it's as good as CITIZEN CANE.
Grade: A +

THE CAPTAIN AND THE KID

LOST (2nd SEASON DVD SET)

Just finished the 2nd season - and I loved it. I have one major problem - I've said this before - but the flashback with the Shrink that Hurley had been getting close to (who has her own problems in the season ender) WAS shown in Hurley's mental ward to be a babbling idiot, giving a lot of creedance to the theory that the whole thing is based in Hurley's mind. I they need to address that flashback in season 3 - otherwise - I look forward to getting LOST on a weekly basis now that I'm all caught up.
Grade: A


ELTON JOHN: THE CAPTAIN & THE KID (CD)
There's no bigger EJ fan then I - and I've LOVED the last 2 cds, SONGS FROM THE WEST
COAST, and PEACHTREE ROAD. So when I heard that a 20 year later sequel to CAPTAIN FANTASTIC was in the works - I expected some great old school Elton - which sad to report - this is and it isn't. If the Elton of HONKY CAT is your cup of tea, then you might love this cd. If you're looking for things like the title track or SOMEONE SAVE MY LIFE TONITE - you won't find anything remotely close. There are a couple of ballads here that work - but overall, a major disappointment from a man who rarely disappoints. And whatever happened to the planned RED PIANO DVD?
Grade: C


DUST TO DUST: THE EFFECTS OF 9/11 (SUNDANCE)
Narrated by Steve Buscemi. A heartbreaking account of the police and firefighters who were at ground zero - then later turn up with cancer due to all the toxins in the air. It seems that the government didn't want to alarm people, so they hid the fact that breathing in the air would make you eventually sick - but it's unclear how much they really knew. A horrible story all around.
Grade: A

PRISON BREAK (FOX)
Keeps on going. This last episode was great, with T-Bag thinking he was about to get some - and then the lusty blonde calling for "the big one who doesn't speak."
Grade: B

SOUTH PARK (COMEDY CENTRAL)
"Ginger Kids" Like a lot of South Park's - starts with a really strong premise - then goes to a dumber place. This was one of those.
Grade: B -

THE OFFICE (NBC)
As the 3rd season opens, the show still isn't THE OFFICE BBC - but this is one of the best comedies on the schedule. The episode where Michael and Dwight go the convention and see Jim was great. Steve Carrell might take over the world.
Grade: B +
CHATEAU MARMONT (SUNSET STRIP)
I recently had the pleasure of staying at the famous hotel for a few days as The Girl booked us into the Marmont for her birthday weekend. If you have the time and money - the Marmont is great in precisely the opposite way that the STANDARD is great - staying at the Chateau is like staying in a old school NY apartment. With modern touches and a great vibe, if expensive bill.
Grade: A

STERN TV: 9/11 (In Demand)
Great rebroadcast of Stern's 9/11 broadcast. One minute he's talking about Pam Anderson's breasts and then they get news of the WTC report and the remarkable thing is how angry and scared the cast is - but also - how funny Howard remains in the face of this. One of the best broadcasts in the history of Radio - brought alive by the cameras and new testimonials from all the participants.
Grade: A +

JUSTICE (ABC)
About as exciting as you can make a one hour show about a single case. It's kind of like the CSI of law shows - and the endings - in which you are shown the actual crime - are riveting. The cast is pretty excellent as well - particularly Victor Gabor - though I'm not too fond of that kid from DAWSON'S CREEK.
UPDATE: Okay, I just watched the episode about the mother who died on the roller coaster - that was an exceptional episode and even that annoying kid was really good. This show is getting better.
Grade: B - to a B +

STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP (NBC)
A truly solid, entertaining show. Although, Sorkin seems to take this show as seriously as THE WEST WING - when it's really just a comedy show - and as much as I liked the preceding hour, they ended with "THE COLD OPEN." A musical number meant to lambast tv and show what a subversive show they run - yet that sketch would not even make it on the worst sketch show, ever. I'm thinking maybe they should leave scenes of the actual show within a show out of the actual show. Also - that clock in the office that counts down the time between shows - a little too doomsday for me though it's a terrific device. But this is a variety show they're producing, not 24. Still - this is one of the better new shows around and I hope it stays.
Grade: B

THE CONTENDER (ESPN)
This show moved from NBC to ESPN, and I think it works better on that channel. I just watched the first 5 eps of the second season. It still works really well - although the lack of Stallone's presence is felt. Yet - he might've been too busy shooting ROCKY BALBOA for December. In any case - it's an inspirational show that usually has a surprise ending. I love the way the fights are filmed and Sugar Ray Leonard makes for a great, knowledgeable host. Addictive.
Grade: B +
UPDATE: So - I watched the rest of the episodes, and it was a great run, with a great, suprising and deserving winner. I have only one complaint - the final bouts are fun live and veer away from the editing that makes the series so fun. Resulting in very boring final matches. Still - this is really good sports show and one that people should like whether or not they're into boxing.
FULL SEASON GRADE: B


UNITED 93 (DVD)
A great film I won't reveal too much about. The director ratchets up the tension for a good hour before we cut to the action on the plane - and you can't shake the feeling that you're watching a documentary rather then a film - but many of the air-traffic controllers play themselves, and the way 9/11 unfolded is great, sad drama. A must - see. Great sound and picture and plenty of extras.
Grade: A
SPRINKLES CUPCAKES (food!)
If you have not tried these - do so at once. These are the best sugary confections in town. They're located in LA and the best reason to break your diet. At your next birthday, forget buying a cake - get 2 dozen of these - look out for the best flavor: RED VELVET.
Grade: A+

FLAVA OF LOVE (VH1)
The penultimate episode featured New York and her mother, who reminded me a lot of Carrie White's mom in CARRIE. This is reportedly the last season of FLAVA and I will miss it greatly - but all good things must come to an end. Who will win the heart of Flav? Will it be NEW YORK or DELICIOUS? I have no idea - but New York seems headed for a major meltdown.
Grade: A


SMITH (FOX)
As cool as a cucumber - this show is sleek, proficient and in Ray Liotta, sports a great lead. Also of note - Frankie G. and Chris Bauer of the late, great JONNY ZERO are here - making it a reunion of sorts. Wells & Co. have done it again. Extra points for the amazing soundtrack.
Grade: A +

SNL w/DANE COOK (season premiere)
Lame. Completely. With the sole exception of the digital short - CUBICLE. And Seth Myers addition to the WEEKEND UPDATE - well, about as funny as Seth Myers - meaning not funny at all. The KILLERS were good, though.
Grade: D -

The new JACKASS MOVIE!

This picture is one I took in Chatsworth when my mom's apartment complex was being evacuated by the fire department a few years ago.

JACKASS 2 (IN THEATRES)
Great. Disgusting. Revolting. Great. No story - just a great presentation of the most grossed out stunts you've ever seen. Not for the squamish - this film is helped greatly by the good humor of its stars. Best gag: the terrorist in the cab. Try seeing this one in the theatre.
Grade: A +

LOST ( SEASON 2 DVD SET) - WARNING: SPOILERS!
Me and The Girl are about 4 eps from finishing season 2 - Despite the very bad acting of Michelle Rodriguez, this is a fantastic show that continues to intrigue. Ep 20 just ended with the shock of what Michael does in the hatch - I don't really want to spill details in case you haven't seen it - but I do wonder what they're going to do about the fact that they showed the lovely female shrink in Hurley's flashback as another wacko. We're just waiting on Netflix for the final 4 eps.
Grade: A

SNL: STEVE MARTIN & PRINCE (NBC)
Aside from the opening sketch - horrendous.
Grade: D

WEEDS (SHOWTIME)
Gets better & better. Did Andy really get F..ed in the A... by the female Jewish instructor using a black dildo strap on?????
Grade: B +

THE WIRE (HBO)
Da Bomb.
Grade: A +

FLAVA OF LOVE (VH1)
What can I say - I love television.
A +

MTV'S LITTLE TALENT SHOW (MTV)
Bad. Real bad - and unfair to the poor kids performing in it. And Kimberly Locke thinks she's....I don't know who the hell she thinks she is - but she's annoying and horrible.
Grade: D

BLIND DATE (SYND)
Since The Girl never watched these on there original run, I'm showing her some from SPIKE TV - very funny writers. Unusual daters.
Grade: B

HOUSE OF GAMES (DVD)
A great gem from the 80s that almost made you believe that Joe Montegna was the next Al Pacino or Robert DeNiro. He's never been better - neither has David Mamet.
A +

SURVIVOR: COOK ISLANDS (CBS)
I appreciate the race thing they're doing - but the show is still boring.
Grade: C

I taped the CONDENDER marathon - whoo hoo!

JOE SIMPSON IS REALLY CREEPY!

The following is reprinted, without permission of course, from THE SUPERFICIAL blog site - which is one of my favorite gossip sites:
http://thesuperficial.com/
According to sources who've had recent dealings with him, Simpson has a tight working arrangement with WireImage, the mega-agency and wire service that rules the red-carpet at nearly every high-profile event in the western hemisphere. On several occasions, a camera-wielding Simpson has gone toe-to-toe with other snappers for shots of his own daughters, then approved only his own images for distribution through WireImage. At other times, he has provided the agency with exclusive (and even racy) shots of his daughters on family getaways or in other putatively private moments.
Needless to say, other photographers aren't happy. One recalled being invited to cover an event sponsored by Jessica's record label, Epic, only to find her shots blocked again and again by Joe and his Nikon. "I thought it was really odd that he was always in my way, since I was the one who was paid to be there shooting," she says. Though the freelancer did manage to get some clean shots, Joe's were the only ones WireImage deemed worthy of being distributed. (add pioc)
And look at the pictures he takes of his daughters - so now he's talking about his daughter's bodies in public, AND he's snapping these pictures. Why do I keep thinking that Joe Simpson is either going to end up on the JERRY SPRINGER show or DATELINE: TO CATCH A PREDATOR?

HOUSE (FOX)
The cane is back without much fanfare - not that it wasn't warranted - but House dismissed all talk of his cane and pain - choosing to focus on the guest star, JOEL GREY, who was fantastic as a revolutionary doctor. I thought the ep was great - even though I hated seeing those cute mice torn apart, but I wasn't sure what I thought of House going to the Church after Cameron did the deed and saying "I'm proud of you." The show is usually a bit more subtle then that - but an excellent hour nonetheless.
Grade: A

FAMILY GUY (TOON)
Me and The Girl caught a couple of repeats on TOON - the one where Lois and Meg go to Spring Break was great and Peter becomes a fisherman. This is one of the best animated shows to come along ever.
Grade: A

NIP/TUCK (FX)
Last night was another stellar, if BADLY directed entry in this series. I loved the storylines and Sean's fling and Christian's YOUTUBE experience - and his admiration of Mario Lopez - shockingly good as a nice-guy plastic surgeon. But what was with the color scheme of the ep, the look, the angles - it's rare that I notice when something is directed this badly - but this was screaming for attention.
Grade: B +

OVER THERE (FX - 1ST SEASON DVD SET (only season))
Continues to get better. The battle scenes in Iraq were actually shot in Chatsworth - but I defy anyone to point that out while watching it. This was one of the most intense shows ever, and I wish FX would've given it another season - but the 13 episode dvd set is a real treat and like a great, extended war film.
Grade: A

THE SIMPSON (FOX)
Still hilarious - after 14 years.
Grade: A -

DATELINE (NBC)
They did something pretty cool - they pretended to make a hydrating pill made solely from NESTLE QUICK and tried to get one of these infomercial production houses to put together the infomercial. Only they secretly taped everything and interviewed all the participants after - I swear - I will never look at another infomercial the same way. It's so fucking fake! The actors are paid to rave about the product and the companies don't seem to care about getting any proof that the items work.
Grade: B +

BLIND DATE UNSENCORED (DVD)
A gem if you were a fan of the show back in the late 90s - It revisits all the dates and adds boobies and curses. And it's laugh out loud funny.
Grade: B

THE SHIELD (SEASON 2 DVDS)
THE SHIELD has a pretty good second season - though from what I remember - the weakest of all 5 seasons. I'm not sure they knew where to go - but they still found many great stories to tell. We have about 7 more to go on this one, but I remember seasons 3,4 & 5.1 rocking the house - with 5 being nail-biting.

HOUSE (FOX)
"Cane & Abel." The 2nd episode was superbly written, acted and directed. This is one of the very best one hours on network tv and to those who missed it - they repeat at some point the week after the initial airing on USA network. Hugh Laurie was great - the mystery was fantastic and the stakes were high. The question of whether House will go back to using his cain and popping vicoden was handled with integrity to the show and honesty to the character. Man, this show is good.
Grade: A +

HAPPY HOUR (Fox)
Unwatchable.
Grade: F

DEAL OR NO DEAL (NBC)
Addictive, and now that I've found the game online, even more so.
Grade: B

PRISON BREAK (FOX)
Continues to kick ass. RIP Abruzzi - you will be sorely missed. T-Bag - you fucking scumbag - I can't wait till you die.
Grade: B +