2008/12/15

The End Of The Digital Couch.

Well, it is that time again. The new year is coming and THE DIGITAL COUCH, constantly up and down this year, is now going dark for good. The last time I signed off readers thought something was wrong. Nothing is wrong – things are good and I’m looking very forward to 2009. I just don't have the time to write this blog anymore.

How great is it that Bruce is releasing a new CD in a month? Then he’s going on tour for 2 years, so Bruce will be around.

I thought the Barbara Walters interview with Obama and family was great, and I’ve noticed that Obama’s big comedy move now is whenever asked about something important and presidential, Obama quickly goes into comedian mode and says “Then my wife said, you’re driving the kids.”

Diane Sawyer and Ashly Dupree – what an interview. Ashly is a beautiful, retarded girl and Diane Sawyer might be even more so.


REAL CHANCE AT LOVE (VH1)
Has turned into a pretty cool show. The thing they did last week with fooling the girls into thinking they’re being interrogated – that was pretty awesome.


STORYTELLERS: KID ROCK (VH1)
They could’ve called this installment, BRAGGERS. Still – the Kid does Rock.


CELEB REHAB (VH1)
Seth, from some band called CRAZYTOWN is a maniac. The show is great and I wonder who in this new batch is going to stay sober. I don’t have high hopes for most I hate to say.

GUNS N’ ROSES “Chinese Democracy” (CD)
I gave this a few listens – couldn’t find one song I loved or even really liked. It sounds like a really 90s CD with a touch of PRO TOOLS to make it sound modern. This took 8 years?


SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (IN THEATERS)
Good movie. I didn’t quite love this the way a lot of my friends did, but solid.


24: REDEMPTION (FOX)
Way better than I had imagined, great setup for the new season – but why was Jack wearing that ridiculous outfit while fighting a war? All he needed was a fanny pack to complete the look.

THE ROSIE O’ DONNEL VARIETY HOUR (NBC)
I could print a long review, but someone parental once told me if you don’t have anything nice to say…

60 MINUTES (CBS)
I love that guy who came to town and pretended to be a Fed. He teamed up with the local cops and busted all these dealers – then they found out the Fed was a professional liar and he’s in jail and all the arrested are out.

I also liked the story about how these online casinos can cheat you. I would think cheating would be the ONLY reason to gamble online.


PRISON BREAK (FOX)
What a horrifying guy Self turned out to be. What a great show.


BRITTNY: FOR THE RECORD (MTV)
For the record – Brittny seems best when completely controlled by her parents. It’s clear from this documentary – but really just a snow job from the Spears factory – that she is now a prisoner for her parents and will be the money making machine she’s always been. She seems happy the way a puppy does but you know she wants to get in that car and smoke crack and pass out and…


30 ROCK (NBC)
Somehow used to be much funnier.


THE WRESTLER (in theatres)
I don’t want to give too much away as this is a very small story. I think it is suffering from the hype machine as the commercials are suggesting this is some type of ROCKY story. There is very little uplift here – this is a grim, realistic depiction of the life of a once-famous wrestler now doing these wretched shows in small arenas with banquet chairs. Mickey Rourke could simply not be better. As for Marisa Tomei – I think she’s fine but that character of the stripper with the heart of gold – it works, but not that well. I watched this twice (a screener) and I will probably see it again. It’s great – just very small, very grim and in its own way, kind of perfect.
Grade: A


That’s pretty much it – I saw some other stuff but – for now the DIGITAL COUCH is really closed and I don’t see it coming back anytime soon. Thanks for reading what in all likelihood will be the last entry.


Have a great holiday and be safe.
Thanks for all the fish.

Digital Couch Out.
12.15.08

2008/11/26

THE SHIELD. Final episode.

THE SHIELD comes to an end.

THE SHIELD (FX)
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!
If you have not yet seen the finale’ – READ NO FURTHER – critical details are discussed and the entire ending is revealed, so once again – if you’ve not seen the show yet – DON’T READ THE FOLLOWING:

THE SHIELD (Season Finale’ – F/X)
The last batch of original SHIELD eps were as tense, taut and riveting as anything you're likely to see all year. Chicklis has never been better as Vic, and the entire cast really stepped it up this final season. Especially Walton Goggons as the horrific Shane Mandrell. The highlight of this last season might’ve actually been last week, when Vic, in order to get immunity for all his strike team sins, gave I.C.E. a complete list of all his wrongdoings at the Barn. Including killing Terry Crowly in the pilot and stealing The Money Train. In doing so, he also gave them enough to throw Ronnie in jail till they day he dies. But the immunity was only available to Vic, not to Ronnie. The finale’ – initially 90 minutes, but a last minute editing decision to leave more in lead to an almost 2 hour show (which I'm sure cut off on some DVRs), had an awful lot going for it. A lot of people are saying it was a better ending than THE SOPRANOS – but I wouldn’t say that. Two different shows – two different endings that fit each show uniquely. As far as THE SHIELD goes, the last hours of this were at turns grim, tense and unusually somber for such an action-packed show. A few threads seem to have gotten lost. Such as Julien’s gay life which was only hinted at when he saw two happy gay men running down the street – I actually thought that was a great nod to a storyline that I guess they didn’t feel like cramming down our throats. The rookie (I forget her name) seemed to be in this season for almost no reason – as she didn’t really have much to do. The inclusion of Andre 300 from OUTKAST as a budding politician – COMPLETE TIME WASTER.

While it fed somewhat into the theme of corruption – it just wasn’t what we wanted to see in the finale’. We wanted real resolution - or as much as we could get. My heart actually skipped a beat when Julian saw that happy gay couple - I assumed it was leading into a moment for him - but no, it was just a nod to that storyline - and I liked it a lot. Its just that - I guess I wanted a little more story involving our favorite characters. Not the uninvolving interrogation of the young serial killer. Danny was a complete no-show in the finale. Claudette’s disease coming to fruition was interesting but somehow – not terribly character oriented in the sense that – okay, she’s sick and it had many wonderful notes of friendship between Claudette and Dutch – but it certainly didn’t help her character grow. If anything, it felt overly dramatic and predictable. Aceveda was also sort of a no-show in the finale’. You’d think they would’ve scripted a bigger finish with him and Vic. But that’s the way the finale’ went – against many expectations of what you’d expect them to do – which I appreciated a lot of. All the stuff with Shane and his wife on the run was pretty great, it was a shame we got no last Shane/Vic scene – it seems to me that phone call could’ve been a face to face. What Shane ultimately did was horrific if slightly out of character – but then again – he was so coked up – who knows what was going on in his head. But it worked and was insanely horrifying. But the most sinking feeling I had during the finale’ was the setting up of Ronnie – Vic having him risk his life only to eventually feed him to the wolves as a sacrificial lamb for all the strike team’s misdeeds. The fact that Ronnie, the most passive of the group got dicked over by Vic in the end – I think speaks more to Vic’s nature than anything. Not that Vic felt great about it – but he had his family to protect. If only he knew.

I would’ve liked to see a bit more of a Vic/Ronnie post revelation scene – but this ep moved fast and quickly got to the last, sterile image of the evening. Vic, in an ill-fitting suit, now working at a ghastly cubicle with a 30 year old computer making reports on gang activity based on pre-existing intel while the sirens went off outside, making Vic’s pulse pound with an adrenaline rush he’s not allowed to fix. When Vic takes his gun out of the lockbox - I thought for a minute he was going to eat it - but instead he grabbed his gun and walked out - giving us the feeling that Vic is not quite out of the woods yet. But that the life he’s about to lead, thinking of all those he’s fucked over, screwed with, killed…what in God’s name is Vic Mackey going to do?

By the way – the song that played over the final credits was CONCRETE BLONDE’s “Long Time Ago” from their 92 CD WALKING IN LONDON. I thought it was a great choice and liked the final montage, though - it was their last chance to throw some images at us and it felt like at least half of them were picked half-hazzardly. It still kind of worked really well. But once this thing hits DVD, you’ll get that montage right after the final image of Vic is shown –and I don’t know that it’ll play as well as when not separated by commercials – but maybe that’s just me. While not giving us everything we wanted, this was a pretty sturdy wrap up that did go pretty far in spelling out the future – and a very satisfying final installment on many levels. And they seemed to have gone out on their own terms, unlike Vic Mackey.

FINAL SEASON GRADE: A (points off for the first few eps with that convoluted Armenian/Mexican war plotline)
Season Finale’ Grade: A
OVERALL SERIES GRADE: A +

For a GREAT q & a with Sean Ryan, creator of THE SHIELD and showrunner for all 7 seasons – go here:
http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2008/11/shield-boss-ans.html

For some reason this hot link is not working - but if you cut and paste you should get to the fascinating Q&A. Same thing for the link that appears later.


UPDATE:
I've been thinking a lot about THE SHIELD since the final episode. It's a popular idea going around that it had a stronger ending than the SOPRANOS. EW actually said NOTE TO DAVID CHASE: THIS IS THE WAY TO END A SERIES. I have serious reservations about that idea. First of all - to compare the 2 shows is useful only in that they both had absolutely amoral protagonists. But there is a huge difference. In THE SHIELD, Vic Mackey killed a cop in the very first episode. And we loved him anyway because despite all his and the strike team's dirty dealings, they were the kind of cops you wanted on your side when you were in trouble - particularly Vic. But let's be honest about the show - since that first episode - Mackey never did anything that despicable to a civilian again. One could even argue that the cop killing was there to spark the pilot and that the Vic that remained was a generally decent guy to root for. In fact, he had serious moral problems with general corruption time and time again. In other words - was he the same guy that shot the cop in the pilot? Were we all hoodwinked into loving Vic these last 6 seasons and then having the finale finally call a spade a spade? Hardly. Vic was a hero as far as the structure of the show was concerned.

Even in the finale - he did not sell out Ronnie so that he could have an easy life - he did it to protect his wife and children. Maybe it's easier to think that in the end, he was a rat - and yes, he did sell out Ronnie - but it wasn't that simple. And that - is the beauty of THE SHIELD. Vic walked through that finale like a zombie because he knew he would sell out Ronnie in the end - his last remaining loyal soldier.

THE SOPRANOS on the other hand, really called Tony on his pathology in its final batch of episodes. The thing about Tony is that he was always a bastard - there were always civilians catching friendly fire in his world - he routinely humiliated his wife, fucked over his friends and let his selfishness cloud everything he did. And again - that's kind of why we loved him. Because on some level - we all want to be that guy - maybe not in real life, but we loved watching it play out and we certainly loved living that life vicariously. One of the great things about the SOPRANOS is that watching it made you FEEL like a mobster in that amoral window.

So we were not hoodwinked into loving Tony, who in the pilot was pretty much a lovable Jersey crook but over the course of 7 seasons, showed us he was a murderous, petty, jealous, theiving, racist, cheating, lying, betraying, con man who even lied to himself and ultimately killed his own de-facto son (Christopher) and then went to Vegas to fuck his dead son's whore and do drugs with her and live the life that Christopher was living because - despite all of Tony's remarks about Chris being a junkie who would flip at any second - he was insanely jealous of Christopher's life and the ep where he killed him and took all his spoils only proved that. We loved him anyway. Despite the fact that he ruined Bobby's life by making him kill, that he was ready to pull the trigger on Hesh over a gambling debt, that he wanted to kill Paulie over his big mouth - and that he killed some of the people closest to him - Adriana, Christopher, Big Pussy, Tony B., the list goes on and on.

But we weren't fooled into loving either Tony or Vic - we went along all too willingly. Why wouldn't we? These were great, rich characters. As far as Vic goes, we watched him shoot a cop (it helps that he shot someone we didn't really know) and we didn't care. But frankly - even though horrifying things often happened on THE SHIELD - it was usually Mackey taking care of business. In the end, he had to what he had to do. He had played all his cards, misjudged a mortal amount of situations -and he protected his family. That's why, even after he sold out Ronnie, even after he strung him along all the way through the finale and even after his own family left him, we still rooted for the bastard. We loved Vic and always will. And regarding the comparison of the finales - look - THE SHIELD was brilliant in its final hours with Vic. It really was. Probably even better than my review would admit. But then again - we had 20 minutes of OUTKAST in it. I realize with that storyline Sean Ryan was trying to shine a light on overall corruption through the Aceveda storyline - but let's be honest - the Aceveda stuff didn't quite feel full in the end. What it all felt like was life - imperfect.

THE SOPRANOS final hour had much imperfection as well. Lots of AJ. Lots and lots of AJ. Why? Certainly not because of the dynamic character - in fact, AJ is probably somewhere behind Tony's sister Janice is one of the more useless elements of the show. If I had to point a finger at why that was...I think somehow the actor just never truly connected to the role. He was okay. It was fine. But the finale - despite some lameness that is inherant to anything you attach expectations to - rocked in ways that brought the series to true resolution in ways deeper than some of the individual plotlines. And in that sense, I think THE SHIELD and THE SOPRANOS both had great, slightly flawed, imperfect endings. Like life.


I really liked IRON MAN but somehow didn’t quite love it.


SNL: W/TIM McCRAW
One funny sketch. I counted it. The thing with DATELINE w/Keith Morrison. That was really weird and funny. The rest was completely unwatchable. Seth Meyers doing that UPDATE alone is like….
Grade: D


I do like Rosie O’Donnel but her promos for her variety show…not so much.


SCREAM QUEENS (VH1)
Is getting better and more embarrassing than ever. Long live this crazy show and the whacky actresses that inhabit it. The most recent challenge – where the girls had to act possessed was brilliant. Even better – Shawnee Smith appears at the edge of falling asleep in every scene she’s in. Who will win the coveted walk-on in SAW 6? And can that really be the prize?????
Grade: B +


ENTOURAGE (HBO) (SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!)
Since I rambled on so much about THE SHIELD and THE SOPRANOS, let me make this one pretty quick. I watched the final four episodes the other night and generally kind of really liked it. I loved that Vince had so much trouble with the director, I loved what a prick Jason Patric was, I loved Gary Cole as the new agent - I even liked the Turtle/Jamie Lynn Siegler romance. What I did not particularly love is how the show went through amazingly great pains to take Vince down all those notches only to literally have his salvation fall from the sky with Martin Scorsesee in one of the most unlikely plot scenarios in the series history. Despite that, it's still a great show and well worth the time and I'm glad they're coming back for another season. I also thought Adrien Grenier really rose to the ocassion this season as his character was challenged on every level both personally and professionally that he could be. Even Turtle and Drama posted new acting highs this season. So - even though I'm going to have to overlook some gratuitis bullshit like the writer E. reps getting laid while trying to put a tv deal together (give me a fucking break) I this this was a great creative season and I look forward to more.
Grade: B +


TRUE BLOOD (Season Finale’- HBO)
What a great season. Unfortunately, they had built to so much, that this last hour felt very workmanlike in tying up most of the loose ends. We knew from the previous week who the killer was and this hour made no attempt to further twist the story. There was also a bit of cheese as the makeup job on Vampire Bill in the daylight was kind of…Troma-like. Still – this is a great show – they did some nice set ups for next year. I don’t think the “2 WEEKS LATER” thing worked all that well. I really am not up for a storyline that has Jason Stackhouse being “born again” because frankly – I’ve seen that particular story on TV about 132,234,254,234 times. What made this season so great is that most of the show was unexpected, and as long as they can keep tapping into that unexpected place, I look forward to the new eps. That said – the final hour was a bit of a let down – but I still love this show.
SEASON 1 GRADE: A
Season 1 Finale’ grade: B +


30 ROCK (NBC)
“Gavin Valour” – Steve Martin stars as a guy who comes to really fuck up 30 ROCK and have it go from a smart show about something real to a fake show about something fake. He almost got the job done. The producers might do well to watch WILL & GRACE witness firsthand how “special guest stars” destroyed a once promising show.


THE OFFICE (NBC)
“The return of Toby. Frame Toby!” Another episode that seems to have needed a laugh track. You know, so people would…laugh.


Me and my niece recently watched every PEANUTS holiday special – the GREAT PUMPKIN, CHRISTMAS and the THANKSGIVING special. Peanuts is so good – the dialog so good – that Xmas special is so good….those kids are so smart - and so cold. It's the best.
Peanuts: A +
(highest recommendation.)


The trailer for THE WRESTLER seems fucking amazing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61-GFxjTyV0&feature=dir


YOUNG @HEART (DVD)
I’m only 10 minutes into this and I already love it.


Random thoughts as I watch the American Music Awards (ABC)
Christine Aguilera performed a great medley of her hits. She looked and sounded awesome.
Jimmy Kimmel was solidly hilarious while rocking a particularly well worn black suit.
Jamie Foxx – Not funny, not tuneful, not (fill in your own adjective here.)
New Kids On The Block – not bad.
Scott Weiland (presenter) – H for Heroin
Pink – pretty awesome – didn’t love the song. Though it was ironic to hear Weiland say “Here performing sober…”
Kanye West – what’s up with him?
Leona Lewis – I still don’t get it.
Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend (I mean, her father.) She’s cool. I don’t know how to grade something like this – it wasn’t exactly a song – more like a kid’s performance. Which I guess – I don’t know. This is lost on me.
Coldplay – A + Yeah!
Umm….Alicia Keys CD beat the Eagles? Hmmm….I mean – “No One” is a good single – but – she beat The Eagles “Long Road Out Of Eden?” Her marble mouthed acceptance speech only made the win more horrifying.
What a night for Mariah Carrey. So deserving. So….when did pleasant ballads sung in a helium tinged voice and a comically exaggerated smile and way-too-small outfits become THE GREATEST THING EVER???
Kanye West won something and gave it to Lil’ Wayne…I think? I don’t get that guy. I think he’s troubled. I think he spends nights arguing with himself. I think he’s up right now, not having slept, still arguing about something.
Wow, T-Mobile is really stepping it up to be an awesome part of the music scene. Rock and fucking roll, baby! T-Mobile shredded it!!!!!
I look like all three of the Jonas Brothers. How did that happen?
Their song sounded like a leftover cut from the ROCKY 4 soundtrack. I could see Stallone training to fight the Russian while that played.
If you play the Pussycat Dolls in fast forward – it looks like the Kardashian family.
Kimmel was hilarious when he presented Justin Timberlake as “the most attractive man in the world.”
He might be right.
I liked the thing for Annie Lennox – she’s the best.
Most underrated Lennox song ever: I SAVED THE WORLD TODAY.
And Lennox was the best performer of the night – hands down.
Daughtry looked a LOT like Popeye’s retarded cousin. God bless how far he’s gotten with his pitch-perfect Eddie Vedder impression.
So – there you have it – the acts were okay, Jimmy was hilarious and sharp in that black suit – Justin Timberlake is sexy/cool – Annie Lennox and Coldplay rule and Kanye West is great and/or Insane - and Billy Cyrus has a serious thing for his daughter.
All in all, a great night for music. A great night for cell phones.


DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
Who's the worst actress on TV? I'll give you a hint. She plays Dexter’s sister. Jennifer Carpenter. That’s her name. If ever there was an actress who makes every right choice – Ms. Carpenter is not that actress.


I woke up the other night thinking that, like Dexter, I had killed people and now I was trapped in hell for all eternity – then I realized – it was just Chelsea Lately interviewing Jenny McCarthy. Whew. But almost as bad.

Then again I thought I was in hell only to realize I had awoken to the sounds of Jay Leno interviewing Miley Cyrus. Jesus.

Speaking of Leno, why is he ONLY funny when being a guest of Jimmy Kimmel’s? Jimmy was very funny with Jay, and it’s probably the only 2 times in the last 5 years that Mr. Leno has made me laugh – both times he’s been sitting on Jimmy’s couch.


SONS OF ANARCHY (FX)
I’m finally unspooling these from my DVR – I’m on episode 8 and they keep getting better and better. I'm completely hooked. Completely.
Grade: A


LEONARD COHEN – I’M YOUR MAN (SUN)
Halfway though – Nick Cave singing “I’m your man” rocked the fucking house. This is a great documentary full of great Leanord Cohen tunes sung by people who love them.


Happy Thanksgiving!

2008/11/15

NEW SOPRANOS DVD SET! TRUE BLOOD RULES! THE SHIELD is almost OVER!

BREAKING NEWS:
SATURDAY NITE'S SNL SUCKED.
The SNL digital short was actually pretty funny (the painters.) The thing with the parents kissing the kids was funny for about 2 minutes (I counted.) Beyonce looked pretty and sounded good - though I can't remember the songs. The opening Joe Biden thing was probably the funniest sketch of the night - and why is WEEKEND UPDATE advertising Amy Poehler in its promo when she's not there? And how unfunny is Justin Timberlake when he's trying to be funny?
Now that the election is over, SNL has to go back to being what it was.
Grade: C -


NEW SOPRANOS DVD SET, TRUE BLOOD RULES, THE SHIELD GOING OUT IN STYLE

There are 2 soundtracks that I cannot seem to find anywhere. If anyone has a lead on any of these, please send all info to: TheDigitalCouch@aol.com

The first is the soundtrack to the early 80s film, NIGHT SHIFT. The Ron Howard directed comedy that introduced the world to Michael Keaton, Shelly Long and the immortal line “Where the fuck is 4K?”
NIGHT SHIFT: A+

The other soundtrack which seems near impossible to find is John Woo’s THE KILLER. If anybody has any leads – please let me know. I recently found THE IDOLMAKER and was shocked at how well that held up.
THE KILLER: A +
THE IDOLMAKER: A +


TV 2 DVD BOX SET BLUES
Lastly – if anyone has the complete collection of IT’S YOUR MOVE on DVD – now THAT would be impressive. (It’s Your Move was an 80s sitcom starring a 14 year old Jason Bateman.) Or HILL STREET BLUES, since only the first 2 seasons were made available (they kept saying 3 was coming out – but I don’t believe it ever has.) The WISEGUY DVD box sets were a miserable joke. They only released a 3rd of the series, seriously out of order, replaced most original music, had serious quality issues – on one episode, instead of getting Ken Wahl’s optional commentary – there is no option – Wahl’s musings is the only audio available in the episode. It’s even missing at least 2 major arcs, including the final one that closed out the series. Nor did they ever bother to include the 2 hour wrap up movie that aired in 93’. Luckily, I have whatever the DVD set fucked up on videotape, but you'd think they'd put out a decent WISEGUY collection. They haven’t even put out a new WISEGUY set out in 4 years. Like they just gave up. How is that HILL ST and WISEGUY, arguably the 2 most important cop shows of their time, have no proper DVD representation?

Speaking of XMAS, I’m very anxious to get my hands on the brand new COMPLETE SOPRANOS DVD SET. It’s listed at 400 bux, but u can buy it at Target and other places for $250. I'm waiting to see if someone gifts me with it, otherwise - this is the entirety of the old set, (all 7 seasons) plus a 20 page slick booklet, an awesome DVD holder case, 3 discs of Sopranos music (I’m betting just a rehash of the SOPRANOS SOUNDTRACK initially released between seasons 1 & 2, then the much more ambitious 2 disc collection SOPRANOS: PEPPERS & EGGS that came sometime before season 3. So if you have those and all the previous collections – you have everything in this set – EXCEPT – 2 NEW DVDS with over 3.5 hours of contents – lots of missing, deleted scenes, interviews with the principles, documentaries (many I’m sure of which have been seen on HBO) and most tantalizing, alternate endings and a full segment of when the group did a round table discussion at the Palley house a few years ago, and a brand spankin’ new sit down dinner with most of the cast and crew. (T is absent – most others are there.)

Apparently David Chase stirs up more controversy during the dinner when he suggests that his SOPRANOS ending was based on 2001, in which the lead watched from afar as his life unfolds…suggesting that the onion ring scene didn’t happen but that Tony could've simply been ruminating – but then he backs off and says he always fucks up the ending whenever he opens his mouth. I haven’t seen it yet – but it makes sense – although – in 2001 – he watched a future that presumably did happen – so….this might all be REALLY pretentious bullshit from a man who at this point – should really best not talk about the ending and allow people to draw their own conclusions. I for one took it as it was, that Tony would be looking over his shoulder the rest of his life, and his life didn’t have long-term prospects, but that he was happy that his family was – at least in that moment – safe and restored. He also apparently puts to rest any ideas for a SOPRANOS reunion or movie, but added “never say never.” Let’s just say never, okay? We’re good.


TRUE BLOOD (HBO)
So…has TRUE BLOOD become Event Television – or is it just the coolest new series ever? I just caught up on the 2 last eps and thought they were awesome. Particularly the trippy sex/V-juice scene with the luminous Lizzy Caplan. There are only 2 eps left, but HBO has ordered up another season. This is a great show – I highly recommend you follow it from episode one. The funny thing is – this is an Alan Ball show and while I really liked AMERICAN BEAUTY (which he wrote - it’s a really good if flawed movie) I really didn’t like – and I’m sure I’m going to get shit over this because many of my friends loved the show – but I was never a huge fan of 6 FEET UNDER. I didn’t hate it or anything like that – I could just never really get into it and also found it weirdly predictable and way too full of itself. I hated the sister played by Lauren Ambrose, I’d never seen such a self-absorbed performance with such mediocre obvious material. I couldn’t stand Peter Krause on it – even though he’s great on DIRTY SEXY MONEY and he was one of the best things on SPORTS NIGHT. I thought the Brenda character was really over the top even though I loved the actress – and I fucking HATED the mom on that show. Although I liked when she was paired with James Cromwell. I just thought it was really pretentious.

So this same Alan Ball now makes the next great vampire show. (After BUFFY.) Go figure. While not exactly reinventing the entire genre, they have certainly put their own unique spin on things. It's also great storytelling, and the theme song kicks fucking ass.
GRADE: A

UPTADE: NEXT EP OF TRUE BLOOD:
Continues on towards it's final ep. RIP to a certain dazzling cast member, and I can't wait for Sunday's conclusion to the first season.


CHARM SCHOOL, SCREAM QUEENS, REAL LOVE and CELEB REHAB(VH1)
So many shows. So much reality. Or none. I guess it depends on how you look at it. These are the reality shows (and the CMT Wrestling) that I've allowed myself time to get to know.

Let’s start with Charm School. So when the FLAVA girls go to Charm School they get Mo’Nique, when the girls of ROCK OF LOVE go Charm School, they get Sharon Osbourne. Clearly a different vibe. But Sharon is an awesome head mistress – Mo was not. These girls are a ghastly collection of Vegas-style trash – and while I have no idea who these girls are in real life – I can only comment on what comes across on screen. Brandi C. – who went from ROCK OF LOVE to shooting some porn (a 3some!) and then to I LOVE MONEY and now here she is on CHARM SCHOOL – this bubble headed girl who might be technically insane has now starred in three series – that’s more than Patrick Dempsy! In one of the latest eps, a tearful Brandi C., after Meghan left, started crying that she wants out of the show and that just the sound of the other girls’ voices “makes me want to drill giant drills into my head.” That’s about as brain dead as this show is. And entertaining. (Brandi M. by the way, did porn as well.) I’m not saying you can plan an evening around this show – but it is undeniably fun to see these crazy girls from these previous shows – who we now know a little bit – compete for….in CHARM SCHOOL I’m actually not sure what the hell the prize is. Seriously. None of them are going to become ladies. They're all completely unchanged from the first series. In fact, for all the talk of transformation, not one of these girls have changed not even one iota. They’re insanely mean and evil and crazy. And hot (mostly.) But in fact, if anything - they've all gotten encouragement to be who they are on TV, so they're probably even worse. This latest outing with the DUCHESS (I’m sure the DUCHESS was an English actress from Central Casting – how the girls didn’t know this – or if they did – who knows – it was over the top and phony seeming)was laughable at how fake the Duchess was and how much the girls were buying into it. Still, this show works on its own demented level.

I also have been watching SCREAM QUEENS, which features a bunch of mostly bad actresses competing for a walk on role in SAW 6. I’m not kidding. That’s the prize. Although I’m sure to most of these woman the prize is being on TV. QUEENS kind of has a split personality. On one hand, the acting teacher seems very good and the presence of James Gunn, who is a great director and writer (he wrote the DAWN OF THE DEAD remake and the great low-budget horror film winner SLITHER) legitimize a lot of this. On the other hand, they go from being seriously legit to a naked bathtub scene to one of the girls getting kicked off because they didn’t want to make out with another girl. The woman who came in as a “scream expert” was ridiculous. And some of the "acting" here suggests that some of these ladies have never acted a day in their life. Witness the Asian girl doing that insane tongue thing while filming the trailer. The girl with the short hair (from her makeover) seems to be the best most level headed actress and seems poised to win. Unless I'm reading this wrong. And the acting challenges are actually really inventive and funny. What can I say - I'm a fan!

What to say about REAL CHANCE AT LOVE – I THINK that’s the title – I’m referring to the show where the improbably long-haired and sensitive Real (not sure why they think he's sensitive) and his truly insane, mean brother Chance (from I LOVE NY) are looking for love in a low-rent ranch as 17 ghetto crazies vie for their affection. I’m not kidding – the girls on this show are completely retarded and mentally insane. At the very least – they’re all in need of serious meds. The brothers aren’t exactly that interesting either, and the challenges and sets are so low rent I thought I was watching public access. Still, the formula is so set in these – they act crazy for an hour and someone gets sent home – that it still kind of works. Kind of.

All of these shows make CELEB REHAB look like CITIZEN KANE. Even though for the first few eps, I wanted to kill Gary Busey and his ridiculous acronyms, now that I know about his brain (literally) I understand him a lot better. But he’s still insanely annoying. Tawny Kitaen seems much less insane than usual. Nikki from AMERICAN IDOL – wow. What happened to that little spit fire from 4 years ago? Jeff Conway is back for a return engagement – this time with his crazy girlfriend. Amber Smith – a model I had never heard of is here and there is one scene where she is going through withdrawals and trying to make herself vomit that is so jarring you can’t get it out of your head. Former Guns' drummer Steven Adler is last year’s Jeff Conway. But by far, the most absolutely interesting character on this is Rodney King (that Rodney King.) He is movie star handsome, sweet, damaged, and utterly compelling. His recounting of the famous beating was the best moment of the show thus far. And very often, this show goes for the throat, and there is much to learn from this group of recovering addicts. Dr. Drew could not be a better host and this could not be a more worthwhile, if completely exploitative, program.

ROCK OF LOVE CHARM SCHOOL: B –
SCREAM QUEENS: B +
REAL LOVE: C –
CELEB REHAB: A


HULK HOGAN’S CELEB WRESTLING (VH1)
Continues to be kind of a great B-list roundup of some celebs willing to really take their lumps. This week the giggly Nikki Ziering left the show – and with good reason. She thought it was about being pretty and had no use for the actual wrestling moves. Trishelle, on the other hand, has managed to put her hotness into the actual wrestling act – however – as far as a wrestler, she’s overly measured and comes off very fake in her moves - and you don’t know what she wants to do – fight her opponents or fuck them. Interesting character. Screech slapped Danny Bonaduce during their promos, but I could swear they had worked that out beforehand. What? Something fake on a reality show?... Either way – this is really good, mostly unscripted reality TV that’s actually competitive. Highly recommended.
Grade: B


ROB ZOMBIE’S THE DEVILS REJECTS (DVD)
I caught most of this on cable the other day – couple of thoughts: no need to see prequel to enjoy this film, Bill Mosely is superb as one of the bad guys, great, grand film making for a small, dirty story, unusually excellent soundtrack, not sure if I ever realized this was set in the 70s, and not watching the unrated director’s cut made me yearn for the unrated director’s cut.
THEATRICAL VERSION: A -
UNRATED DVD VERSION: A +


SUPERBAD (DVD)
Watched again on cable the other day – couple of thoughts: Great soundtrack, Judd Apatow comedies really fucking work right now, Jonah Hill is even better than you think he is, Michael Cera is awesome, McLovin’ needs a sequel, the cop stuff wasn’t as funny as the other stuff, the “I love you” moment in the sleeping bags – didn’t really work…the movie is great, despite some flaws. Also preferred in the DVD unrated format.
Grade: A -


ROCKY BALBOA (DVD)
Saw on SHOWTIME the other day – perfect ending to the ROCKY series and great film all on its own. Stallone works miracles with the character all those years later.
Grade: A +


PRISON BREAK (FOX)
Is so good at this point it doesn’t even make sense. RIP Bellick. What a great, inventive and macho show. I have no idea what the fuck SILLA is, and I don't care. Our guys need to get it back!
Grade: A


Artie Lange fucking KILLED on Letterman Friday night. His new book “TOO FAT TO FISH” comes out in a few days. He then MURDERED on Kimmel a few nights later. Lange and Kimmel were so comfortable on that couch recounting Howard Stern's wedding it felt like two friends just shooting the shit. Speaking of Jimmy Kimmel, I recently unearthed THE COMEDY CENTRAL ROAST OF PAM ANDERSON. What a moment in time. Kimmel was hosting and had just started his TV show, Anna Nicole Smith was there with Howard K. Stern, Courtney Love was out of her fucking mind on drugs and stepping over everybody's lines and even tried to make out with Pam at the end of the roast until a compassionate Mr. Kimmel steps in and doesn't allow it to happen. It was great to see all these comics working particularly dirty, and Jimmy was a perfect host. The presence of Tommy Lee was sort of unnecessary - especially his song - but otherwise - this was probably as perfect a roast as you're likely to see.
Grade: A +
THE DVD has plenty of fun extras - highest recommendation.


I loved OPEN WATER. If you haven’t seen it – you should.


ELTON JOHN “RED PIANO” (DVD & CD - only at BEST BUY)
While being billed as a new show, the fact is that if ANSWER IN THE SKY is a new track on this, (I got an advance CD set)that this is no new show at all. In fact, my best guess is that this was taped sometime in mid-2004. ANSWER IN THE SKY is 2 CDs ago. That said, this is a terrific show, these are great versions of mostly crowd pleasing songs. But it's not exactly a very deep set list. Mostly the rockers that usually are played to end the show are given the full treatment here. It’s the brevity and the lineup – the last few releases spoiled us – this release gives us 15 songs or so and is clearly missing at least 20 favorites. This doesn't even include the actual hit in 04' "I WANT LOVE." (remember the great Robert Downy Jr. video?) The thing is – the nuggets that are there, like YOUR SONG, CANDLE IN THE WIND, PHILADELPHIA FREEDOM, and DANIEL – are rendered beautifully and with a slightly newish sounding piano arrangement and some new vocal subtleties that make these version pretty interesting. That said - you would way better off buying last years ELTON AT 60 which was 2 discs packed to the rafters of an acoustic piano MSG show (about 50 songs) and another 30 songs of outtakes, old videos, etc. This package doesn't come close to that - or even the previous year's BEST BUY package of 4 shows - which you can now find on AMAZON USED for about 12 bucks. So this RED PIANO is only for the Elton completest - which means I'll be looking for it under my tree. My Jewish Tree.
Grade: B -


THE OFFICE (NBC)
Actually had a pretty funny story re: the false reports Kelly files because of the party not attended; and the other story – which had Jim and Pam ingeniously connected 24/7 by Bluetooth technology was a great runner with an unexpectedly great pay off. Then again, there was that business with Dwight and the Shrut farm wedding…
Grade: B –

UPDATE: NEXT EPISODE --THE OFFICE (NBC)
Had a very decent outing that saw Michael, Oscar and Andy going to Canada for a business trip. In other OFFICE news, Pam and Jim went through yet another drama. I sort of do like this show besides it’s self-congratulatory tone – but this was a solid half hour.
Grade: B


FAMILY MAN (FOX)
The family gets a replacement dog when Brian shows signs of slowing down. Solid and funny, with a truly tasteless ending – that really worked.
Grade: B +


AMERICAN DAD (FOX)
Not so much. This show continues its downward spiral towards irrelevance.

UPDATE: AMERICAN DAD (FOX)
Had a very good ep concerning Hayley going out with her father's body double. This was the best episode they've had in a LONG time.
Grade: B


THE SARAH SILVERMAN SHOW (COM)
“Pee.” Perhaps one of the best half hours of this show to date, which is saying a lot. Sarah finds herself peeing in bed, does a hilarious song with a stranger at a pharmacy, and finds herself an outcast from her new problem. The awesome, gay banter between the two neighbors is better than ever as is Brian Poshn’s and Steve Agee's performances make them one of the funniest TV gay couples ever and one that does absolutely not pander to what we think the "gay couple" should be like and sound like (See WILL & GRACE for that.) This is the comedy not to miss. While it's lead in SOUTH PARK has been unusually uneven this year, THE SARAH SILVERMAN SHOW continues to reach new highs while hitting new lows - and Sarah’s performance keeps getting better and better. The other scene stealer lately: Officer Jay. Let this show live forever.
Grade: A +


CALIFORNICATION (SHOWTIME)
I just caught up with a bunch of them. Completely unrealistic in how much sex David Duchovney's character is offered, I'm completely bored by the wife, and the agent's descent into the world of porn is complete bullshit. That said - I really like this show for reasons I can't quite explain.
Grade: B


DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
Forget the fact that Michael C. Hall is so perfect in this role, that saddling him with this Jimmy Smits story in an extended way is…weird. They talked about their “friendship” so much in this last episode that it reminded me of John Woo’s “THE KILLER.” They just met 2 weeks ago so enough with the BFF. Also – not only is Smits doing a horrible accent and doesn’t come off in any way as a real ADA, but he’s dragging down our favorite character. Still, Hall perseveres because yeah – he’s just that damn good in the role. But this friendship with Smits isn't really working and somehow - feels less than authentic. But let’s not even think about that. Let’s not hink about the the over-the-topness that pervades the near entire rest of the cast. Let’s focus. Let’s focus on possibly the every worst actress of all time ever to be a regular character on a great tv series – no, I’m not talking about Aida Turturro who managed to sully so many scenes on the Sopranos she should be charged and jailed (seriously – though she did do some ok work in the final seasons) – but the truth is, Turtorro was a beacon of acting compared to the name I’m about to mention. Jennifer Carpenter. You know her. She plays Dexter’s sister. She’s bad. She’s so bad that it has to be seen to be believed. And the writer’s are no help – they just write her ridiculous speech patterns, ridiculous profanity which she sounds like a moron saying, and a personality that doesn't appear to be human or relatable. With any luck, this season ends with sis getting the AX... This is a great, great show - yet, with all the lousy b-players populating the side stories, it only warrants a:
Grade: B -


HARD CANDY (DVD)
Caught most of these the other day on cable – the first hour is perfect, the last half hour is not – but always very compelling. You can see why Ellen Paige become a star – but you can also see why the predator in this film (I forget his name) went on to get a lot of work immediately after this made the rounds (most notably LITTLE CHILDREN.)
Grade: A -


30 ROCK (NBC)
Had a solidly uneven half hour, with the Jennifer Aniston stuff with Alec Baldwin working quite well and first rate idea with the NIGHT COURT joke. Only – whoever was in charge of the NIGHT COURT stuff didn’t seem to truly have a rememberence of that show and the parody fell very flat. Hand it to FAMILY GUY, when they go on one of their non-sequitors about something from ancient pop culture – they go out of their way to get the details right. Everything Kenneth said about the 10th season of NIGHT COURT was slightly off, the actors dialog wasn’t very good and it wreaked of a rare, wasted opportunity. In fact, NIGHT COURT did have a final episode, though it was not the one Kenneth mentioned not because it was cancelled – but rather because it was kept. A quick look on the internet brings the details of the NIGHT COURT cancellation to focus:
• Season 8 was to be the last. Harry and Christine were to marry, Dan becoming a priest, among other big cast shake-ups. At the last minute NBC renewed the show one more season, and the Harry/Christine romance never came to fruition, the Dan character going after Christine in the series finale instead.
• The cast was offered more money to return for a 10th season, but the show would be put on a syndicated station as opposed to NBC. The cast declined.
• After the taping of the final episode on a Friday, the cast were sent telegrams to have their dressing rooms vacated by the following Monday or their belongings would be thrown away.
• Night Court ran for nine seasons, beginning on January 4th, 1984, ending on May 31st, 1992. 193 episodes.
In other words – they did plan to marry Christine and Harry but from what I’d heard Dan was supposed to meet the woman of his dreams – so who knows. In any case – it seems like a lot more fun could’ve been had with this. By the way – if anybody is still bothering to read this – tv truth – NIGHT COURT is considered to have paved the way for the SEINFELD structure in that you had 4 major characters and we followed all four stories – which frequently ended on their own, whereas SEINFELD tended to want to wrap up all their storylines in a related fashion. (SEINFELD by the way – was one of the top 2 all time sitcoms (along with THE HONEYMOONERS) but blew it with their final episode. Who would’ve thought that the very last episode of SEINFELD would’ve turned out to be the very worst episode of SEINFELD?

Bit we are rating 30 ROCK here, and as an episode, this earned a:
Grade: B


UNDERTOW (SUNDANCE)
This had been sitting on DVR for a long time. I watched the first 15 minutes and loved the credit sequence – the following 13 minutes – not so much. Couldn’t get through. Did I miss something?


FAMILY DOG (SHOWTIME)
I thought this movie looked really good, and then I couldn’t get through the first aggressively bad 10 minutes. Aggressively bad.


THE PRESTIGE (HBO)
Great movie. It's a full two hour production set in a time period with Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman as two dangerously obsessed magicians constatnly trying to outdo each other while Michael Caine, in a great performance as a wise old magician, implores them each to just let it go. THis is a gorgeous, sumptous take and I didn't know till the very end that it was directed by Chris Nolan between the BATMAN movies. Great story, a little bit of a cheat towards the 3rd act, and yes - you can see one of the major plot points coming a mile away - but it doesn't detract from this grim, tightly wound film.
Grade: A -

Lastly - a major shout out to Rowdy Roddy Piper - that great, kilt wearing wrestler who invented PIPER'S PIT where Roddy would interview/berate his guests. For those of you who remember the wrestler Frankie Williams - a guy I watched wrestle as a kid maybe no more than 1000 times - I'd never - but maybe 2ce - seen this guy win - here is Roddy's wonderfuly compassionate interview with him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW8-zP5WibU

2008/11/06

We have a new president.

CRANK (HBO) is a really good film that has a great first half hour and an amazing last half hour. It’s not a great film, just a really really good one with an awesome premise.


Is it just me or is Paris Hilton becoming a first-rate guest of Letterman’s? God help me, the two have a very funny chemistry.


BOSTON LEGAL (ABC) is actually having a very nice run of final episodes. They are resolving a lot and executing many lovely scenes with the leads. Almost makes me wish they had another season in them – but this is probably for the best. In the meantime – it’s as good as it’s ever gonna get – so if you wanted to check it out – now is probably the time. The paint gun fight Denny and Alan had over the election was masterful – but I hated the fact that David Kelly couldn’t resist having Denny make a voting choice in the end that he never would have made.


THE SARAH SILVERMAN SHOW has been consistently first-rate.


THE HOAX (DVD)
Richard Gere dons an impressive New Yawk accent and an even more impressive curly wig to play a man who once fooled the world into thinking he was writing a book with Howard Hughes. This is based on a true story from the 70s and the film manages to get all the details right. Gere is a fantastic liar, Alfred Molina (everybody’s favorite drug dealer from BOOGIE NIGHTS) is perfect as Gere’s partner in crime and the story itself is one for the books. The sub-plots with Gere’s romantic woes kind of paint a complete picture of deception, but seem extraneous to the story. Other than those brief scenes, this is really juicy stuff. Utterly engrossing.
Grade: B +


DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
Is having a very decent 3rd season. The stuff with Dex and Jimmy Smits is really heating up and the side storylines are kind of predictable (that thing with the CSI guy was ridiculous) but this is otherwise a very solid season, and Michael Hall seems as good as ever as Dexter.
Grade: B +


WE OWN THE NIGHT (DVD)
Directed by the great, sullen James Grey. Starring Joaquin Phoenix (good luck on your retirement!) and Marky Mark Wahlburg and his funky bunch, (Grey had directed them a few years earlier in THE YARDS (another good film.) This is a sad, dark, humorless, gritty, exhilarating thriller that seems to indulge in the kind of hopeless tone that Grey has specialized in since his career began with LITTLE ODESSA. On the surface, this is about a bunch of cops who happen to be linked by blood – in reality – this is a real-deal police drama about values, sacrifice and family. And it’s stunningly well acted and directed. Highly reccomended.
Grade: B +


For the record, I loved the Andy Samberg sketch where he played a dopey Mark Wahlburg talking to a donkey and asking the donkey to "say hi to your mother."


Still liking LIFE ON MARS (ABC) very much.


The LAKERS have won 4 games in a row – though 2 of them have been to the CLIPPERS. So it’s like they’ve won 2.

THE SHIELD is getting so good in its final episodes - I'm really starting to wonder how it's all going to end. This last installment was particularly well directed - with those sad scenes of Shane and his wife and kid squatting in that house. What a way to go. That show will be sorely missed. I think there are only 3 left.

Gotta go, bye.

2008/11/04

Back - by semi-popular demand!

But the blog will change somewhat in that I’m now doing a sort of a mini-version of what I used to do. You’ll see – hope u like the subtle changes and if you don’t – complain to the man.


HOUSE “Joy” (FOX) (SPOILER)
Episode concerned Cuddy adopting a child while the team treated a sleepwalking patient. A solid episode, but the juice was in the last five minutes when House and Cuddy kissed.

ROB ZOMBIE’S “HALLOWEEN” (2 DISC DVD RELEASE)
This is kind of a strange movie. Rob Zombie, who made the brilliant, incomparable “Devil’s Rejects” remakes the 1979 classic with an assured touch and a reverence towards the original material. I’ll tell you what he gets right: the origin of the Michael Myers story. Rob’s wife, Sherry Moon plays mom to William Forthye’s raging, wheelchair bound dad (Forsthye had a serious injury which caused Zombie to rewrite his character as having just been in a major accident.) Zombie digs very deep into what the motivations were for Michael to go off the deep end, and sticks with him through the mental hospital. This is all really good, scary/real stuff – but where Zombie’s film nearly falls apart is the segment of Michael coming back to Haddonfield. (Remember the ads “The night HE came home!”

Since Jamie Lee Curtis was revealed to be Michael’s sister in HALLOWEEN II, it’s become lore that she’s the sister. Nobody seems to remember that they were not revealed as siblings in part 1 – for people who are still reading, the footage was shot for the original. However, John Carpenter ultimately felt that the movie was creepier if we had no idea why he was coming after Jamie Lee Curtis and that very footage was used both in longer TV prints (extended versions) of the original HALLOWEEN and also in the sequel, HALLOWEEN II (the only legit sequel till H20 20 years later.) HALLOWEEN II was not directed by Carpenter but he did write it and there was plenty of his unused footage in the film.

After II came HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH which was supposed to be the beginning of a yearly Halloween film exploring a different storyline. This never came to pass as SEASON OF THE WITCH just seemed to confuse people. Starting out a new series with PART III in your title is also probably not the best way to launch a new anthology.

After SEASON, Carpenter left the HALLOWEEN series, and it was taken over by one of the producers, MUSTAFA AKKAD who made 4 more MIKE MYERS films before the Weinsteins (no relation) brought back Jamie Lee Curtis into the fold with H20 – set 20 years after the 2nd film. Then they did another one that involved Michael running around on a reality show killing people while Busta Rhymes made quips. Seriously.

Anyway – on this film, where Zombie falters is not bringing any real originality nor sense of dread to the final act. Instead, he goes through it in a very workman like approach as if he almost just wants to get it done and get out of there. With the exception of a slightly re-imagined final five minutes (which is pretty cool) he seemed to have lost interest in the last act of the film.

Ironically, this was not really the case. Listening to the excellent director’s commentary (Zombie is an extremely thoughtful and revealing filmmaker) the director reveals that he had to shoot the last part first and that they were plagued by a menagerie of production problems that seriously fucked up the first two weeks of shooting, which was mostly the entire last act. So he had much more time and care with the opening hour of the film. Is this worth it to see? Definitely. A top-rate horror director taking on a classic with new ideas and reverence, sure. Is it better than the original – nope. Does it add anything to the legend? In a way – the first hour is truly horrific and since there is no chance of another decent Halloween sequel, this is probably your best bet if you want to extend the experience. And this is way better than every sequel ever made to the original.
Grade: B +

THE HALLOWEEN MOVIES:
Halloween (Original) – A +
Halloween II – C + (expanded the story but mostly set in a dreary hospital with no dynamic or pacing.)
Halloween III: Season Of The Witch: D (fairly dumb story about evil toys taking over the world.)
ALL THE SEQUELS IN BETWEEN: F – 4,5 and 6 were all pretty bottom of the barrel entrys.

H20: 20 YEARS LATER – pretended that the series ended with 2 and picked up right after that. Boasting a script by the hot guy of the moment (I actually forgot who wrote it but I think it was the guy who wrote…no, that was story by – I don’t remember – I just know Steve Miner, who directed the first and second FRIDAY THE 13th directed with a sledgehammer and Jamie Lee Curtis was no longer playing Lori Strode but just a version of a STONG Jamie Lee (She’s not gonna take it, anymore!) Anyway – it mostly sucked, but was fun for the pop culture moment.
Grade: C +


HALLOWEEN: RESSURECTION – Oh, boy. So, as it turns out, Jamie Lee did not off Michael in the previous film. They restage it to make it look like she killed an ambulance driver (not so – in H20 it was clear she killed Michael.) Anyway – the first 10 minutes are of interest in that Jamie Lee once again reprises Lori Strode and she and Michael have the ending that they probably should have had in the previous film. But – what ultimately happens is that Busta Rhymes and his girlfriend, played by Tyra Banks, the most self important woman in history, do a reality show where 10 kids have to spend the night in the Myers home. Unwatchable. Michael is running around killing reality show contestants, Trya Banks is acting like Tyra Banks, Busta Rymes is busting out Kung-Fu on Michael (you read right) and people are watching it over the internet. God help us all.
Grade: F


I should also say – I watched FRIDAY THE 13th PART 4: The Final Chapter on Halloween night with some friends. (We watch a new installment every year.) Part 4 was probably the best of all the sequels, boasting an almost famous cast (Corey Feldman and Crispin Glover!) and even the star of LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN, Larry Monosoon! However, the film was not quite as good as I’d remembered it when I watched it first-run at the Canarsie Theater in Brooklyn. The effects, on the other hand – handled by the masterful Tom Savini, were even better than I had remembered. At the time, I recall Tom Savini saying he would do this film (he had done the effects in the very first Jason film) but only because they were killing Jason off in this final chapter. If only he knew.

By the way, FRIDAY is getting a HALLOWEEN style re-boot as well.

I really liked “W.”

I also really liked “IRON MAN”

LIFE & TIMES OF TIM (HBO)
Continues to find new and twisted ways to humiliate it’s game animated star.

KITCHEN NIGHTMARES (FOX)
Probably the best prime-time reality show on the air at the moment.

TRUE BLOOD (HBO) has remained consistently surprising and spooky.


THE SHIELD (FX)
Is better than ever. The cat and mouse between Vic, Shane and Ronnie is awesome, although I thought Vic turning in his badge was handled more as an afterthought than a huge component of what made the series tick in the first place. Still, this is a first rate show shaking off the first few miserable eps of the season and settling down for a final 4 episode run of one of the most memorable cop shows ever. Even if it is still hanging on to its corruption theme by a thread.
Grade: A

I have about 9 episodes of SONS OF ANARCHY on my DVR. Should I banish them or watch?


I got rid of all the GENERATION KILLs on my DVR after not really following the opener – did I make a big mistake – I can get them next time around.


I sort of like the new ads for NIP/TUCK and kind of miss that show, even though they’ve been off the rail now for YEARS.

30 ROCK (NBC)
Had a funny opener, though I hated the fact that Alec Baldwin had to fight to get his job back. The show works best with everybody in place and I’m also not so sure how I feel about the Tina Fey adopting a baby thing – but – even at it’s most mediocre this show is always funny.
Grade: B +

THE OFFICE (NBC)
Clocked in with an episode that saw the end of the relationship between Michael and Amy Ryan. That stuff was good – the stuff with Dwight and the Cornell thing – not so much.

Ashley Olsen on LETTERMAN seemed kind of brain dead the other night.

Sarah Silverman was on KIMMEL LIVE the other night. She and Jimmy were hilarious trying to pretend that this was a straight interview – they then pulled a tape of a 15 year old Sarah belting out a number for a local cable audition show – the clip of the young Sarah was nothing short of astonishing.


ABOUT A SON (Sundance)
Great, great docu using actual recordings of Kurt Cobain as he sort of narrates his life and rise in music stardom accompanied by vintage pictures of Seattle, Kurt and co. I would say for Nirvana fans only, but Kurt’s insights are for anybody who has a mind. And it only gets better as it goes on - highly recommended.
Grade: B +


CELEBRITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING (CMT)
Hulk Hogan and a few other favorites from WWF wrestling (though this show seems to have no affiliation with the WWF) takes an impressive roster of celebs – Danny Bonaduce, seemingly possessed, Erin Murphy, who played Tabitha on BEWITCHED and now just seems like a bitter, nasty woman, former NBA oddity Dennis Rodman, who is still painfully shy (he really is – getting him to talk is like pulling teeth) Todd Bridges, Frank Stallone (who is the best looking 58 year old man I’ve ever seen – not that…never mind), teen singing sensation Tiffany; looking a complete mess, the gorgeous but unusually bubble headed Nikki Ziering, Dustin Diamond, way more normal than usual, and Butterbean. Who is as disgusting as he is fat. (Watch the show – you’ll see why.) Anyway – this is yet another production from mr. Jason Hervey – brother Wayne in THE WONDER YEARS. His first was Scott Baio is 40 and Single. Ok, this show is a LOT better than that show. In fact – I love this show – despite the fact that I think it could be produced a whole lot better. The show is simple enough – 12 celebs compete for the CMT belt (oh, brother) and every week a different celeb gets ousted. Bonaduce already reduced Erin to tears by saying “You should bet me fifty grand that I outlast you – but you won’t bet because you don’t have one dime in the bank and everyone hear knows it.” Danny than goes on to tell the camera that he’s been making this girl cry for 35 years. But – she did have it coming.

Anyway – it’s a really fun show – but don’t forget – wrestling in a ring – and I actually know from experience – fake or not fake – is HARD. The pain is REAL and to be honest – it’s just a chore getting through those ropes. It may not look it, but these celebs are not only killing themselves but learning a really hard sport/art. And it is an art. So far, I think Bonaduce, Willis and Screech have the best chance – but what do I know. I thought Stallone would’ve stuck around a little longer. But I watched 3 in a row of these and was never once bored.
Grade: B +


BABY MAMA (DVD) & MAID OF HONOR (DVD)
I got my mom both of these while she was sick – her review:
“Neither were Acadamy Award winners but they were very entertaining!”


SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE w/ Jon Hamm and Coldplay (NBC)
This might’ve been the funniest installment in years. Maybe it was the precense of Jon Hamm, who not only did a funny MAD MEN sketch, but scored even further and deeper with the brilliant “Don Draper’s Guide To Picking Up Women.” Coldplay was superb, doing three songs instead of the usual 2, and the song to Amy Poehler leaving was sweet and warranted. We also got to see the great “Solid as Barack” sketch which I think was one of their best. SNL funny? This can’t possibly last.
Grade: B +


SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE w/Ben Affleck, John McCain and musical guest (NBC)
With John McCain and Tina Fey in an absolutely terrific sketch as QVC salesman. I even though McCain was really funny with the otherwise useless Seth Myers. The rest of the show – not so much. Ben Affleck – not so much. The musical guest – I can’t remember who it was.


I really have been liking LIFE ON MARS (ABC.) It’s great to have Harvey Keitel and Michael Imporiolli (and his great, great mustache) back on TV. I haven’t seen the original so I’m not sure how it compares, but I love the soundtrack and the 70s stuff and appreciate that they went into 1973 instead of the late 70s that seems to permeate most period shows.


The Lakers have won 3 games in a row – could this be their season?


MAD MEN (AMC)
The last batch of these were amazing, literate and truly ambitiously written, directed and acted television. I will miss the show during its hiatus and can’t wait for season 3. Kudos to the entire cast, especially the writers, the set designers, the amazing actors, especially Jon Hamm and January Jones. There are so many other things to marvel at in this show, I’ll just say – if you have not seen this from episode 1, do so at once.
Grade: A + (Highest recommendation)

SNL: PRESIDENTIAL BASH (NBC)
I liked this rehash of the old and new – but really – it’s time to make this a new show all together – maybe show SOME of the great recent sketches but this was mostly a quickly thrown together “best of” which worked – to some degree.
Grade: B


If you do nothing else today get out and VOTE!

2008/10/10

CLOSED FOR THE SEASON

For reasons I can’t get into – I’m taking some time off again. I hope you’ve enjoyed the reviews – at some point I’ll come out of retirement – but probably not for a little while. If you have any questions about anything – feel free to email me – otherwise – will see you on the other side. I tried to get a lot of shows in since this’ll be the one for the road.
Peace and thanks for all the fish.
DIGITAL COUCH out.
10.10.08


THE DEBATES (ABC/CBS/FOX/NBC/CNBC/CSPAN)
I have no interest in sharing my politics here, as I’m sure you have no interest in reading about them. But the actor who plays Obama is fantastic – doing this sort of – straight-man slow-burn while the actor playing McCain is wonderful. He makes McCain sad and pathetic – but very aggressive about his opinions and a bit like a dog wanting his belly scratched. Okay – I was trying something out here that didn’t really work – but basically – it doesn’t matter whose side you’re on – the debates are fucking hilarious. Biden seemed like a patient grade school teacher with a rambunctious young student. Palin seems like a lot of fun. Imagine getting her drunk? And McCain seems like this defeated sad/funny clown while Obama seems bright but about as humorless as they come. And his anger is so subtle. As far as who gets my vote – what do you care? But as for sole entertainment value:
Grade: A +


THE SARAH SILVERMAN SHOW (COMEDY CENTRAL)
Sarah returns with a bong! The first episode charted Sarah’s entry into the world of pot with hilarious results. The thing about leaving herself messages when she’s high – so brilliant – so true – not that I would know. I am SO GLAD this show is back - one my very favorites and Sarah and her talented cast will be a welcome addition this season. And based on the premeire - it's gonna be a great one.
Grade: A +


SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (NBC)
Anne Hathaway and The Killers. Is it just me or is this ever-so-slowly getting slightly funnier. I actually laughed a few times and I thought Hathaway was a pretty good guest host. I love that Tina Fey is coming every week thus far to do Palin, and her bit about asking Biden if she can call him Joe, “because I practiced some zingers where I call you Joe” was hilarious. And some of the sketches were legitimately funny – The Killers were GREAT. I’ll tell you who is NOT funny– the new heavy set guy with the curly hair – this week we discovered that he can dance. While I’m not immune to the hilarity of a fat man dancing, I don’t know – they seem to really be pushing him and that woman who started last season whose name I still do not know but seems to fit in okay (I guess also on the heavyset side compared to the other woman.) She’s okay if not memorable – so far, he’s the killer of comedy. Literally.
Grade: B -


LIFE AND TIMES OF TIM (HBO)
Laugh out loud funny, this is one of the best things I’ve ever seen. No review – just watch it. It’s on the dirty side, so live a little.
Grade: A +
UPDATE:
I just watched the 2nd episode. Hilarious. Truly must-see. It’s insane, profane, and perfect.
Grade: A +


AMERICAN DAD (FOX)
Continues to be a fairly uninspired effort. This had a couple of funny seasons in it, and I have no doubt that there will be future funny eps – but last season and this new one are anything but.
Grade: C -


GONE COUNTRY (CMT)
After a few mellow episodes, this built to the big show, where everyone had to sing their newly written song in front of a live audience and John Rich picks the winner. It was shocking how close Lorenzo Lamas came to pulling it off, Sean Young at the very least appeared normal and to have a good time, even if she sounded like shit. The guy who used to be in N’synch I thought personally had one of the best songs – but the two guys that had it down to the wire were none other than Jermaine Jackson – who is the sweatiest mother fucker I’ve ever seen, and who – frankly – I didn’t really get his song. But Sebastian Bach had a brilliant song about drinking called BATTLE WITH THE BOTTLE that was actually really good and he ended up winning the competition. This was a good series with a great ending. Looking forward to the next season of this.
Grade: B +


PRISON BREAK (FOX)
Has re-invented itself yet again – now it’s just the best action show – maybe ever. This last episode, with Michael going back to break out Mahone – was one of the best moments of the season. This is a unique show in that it really seemed to have stopped giving a shit about getting new fans and truly plays to the core audience. If you’re not one of them – go out and rent every season – this is THAT good.
Grade: A +

UPDATE: PRISON BREAK – the next episode
I just caught last night. The one in Vegas. Very outrageous, very slick, and there is nothing better than watching Theodore Bagwell (T-Bag) get fucked over. The thing with Sucre and the old man and his wife was priceless.
Grade: A +


THE SHIELD (FX)
What can I say? I’m the biggest fan of this show, but these final episodes are just sort of lacking in almost every way. The writing seems off, the acting is ok, the direction is weird – the storyline – while somewhat rewarding I guess to long time fans of the show, is fairly ridiculous and convoluted. I never really loved the money train season and now this just seems like a big re-do. I don’t believe this phony war Vic started – I REALLY don’t believe the bad acting and improbable situations of Vic’s daughter, Cassidy (played by Vic’s real-life daughter – poor thing. It’s as if someone said “just seem angry and sullen every second and you’ll win an Emmy!” Not only that – but the Billings stuff is worthless, the thing with the young serial killer in training is pretty ridiculous – worst of all, this Fed, played by a shitty actress named Lauren Holden (I’ve actually seen her in a movie from 10 years ago – she was bad then, worse now) is reciting some of the all time worst “tough banter” dialog – this thing is a mess. I think there are 5 eps left. This thing better really have some tricks up its sleeve to regain its good name and go out in style. But I’m not encouraged. It’s still The Shield – but it’s just not working like it used to – in their final season. Here’s hoping things pick up in the last batch of eps, which, if I’m looking at the show historically – they will. I just hope it won’t be too late.
Grade: B –

UPDATE: THE SHIELD (the latest ep)
FINALLY - things are back on track! They FINALLY put an end to the ridiculous Mexican-Armenian war thing – and they brought back some urgency to the storyline with our newest favorite subject of the last few seasons – the Vic/Shane/Lem situation. Last night’s episode was tense and gripping and surprising – I’m now looking forward to the last 5 or 6 original episodes left. They still need to get completely back on track – but they are more than half way there with this terrific episode.
Grade: A -


THE RACHEL ZOE PROJECT (BRAVO)
I have no idea why I like this show so much – I don’t know much about Zoe, except that she’s a polarizing big time designer in NYC and that she’s married and has this very successful design biz. In the few eps I watched, she did outfits for Kate Hudson, Debra Messing and a few others – but the show is more about her day to life, her intereactions with her staff – she has a staff of two. The droll, put-upon Taylor - always seemingly out of patience. And the very gay, very excitable Brad, who has impeccable taste and an impeccable way of getting himself into trouble with Rachel. But, honestly – I don’t find Rachel – who the media really loves to eviscerate – all that bad. She’s completely humorless, but she seems nice enough – she loves what she does and evidently she’s really good at it. And the show is particularly well-produced and frankly, I think gives a lot more info on the fashion world than a lot of other fashion shows. And Rachel is just so….single minded it’s exhilarating to watch her – it’s fun to watch Taylor hating on the insanely likable and loveable Brad – and this is not a horrible way to spend an hour.
Grade: B


TRUE BLOOD (HBO)
The pilot was pretty great. I’m into episode 4 now and it’s still pretty cool. It has the best opening sequence I’ve seen in a long time which sets the tone for a pretty quirky hour. Anna Paquin, so fucking masterful as Holly Hunter’s little girl in THE PIANO has grown up and now sports a country bumpkin accent and resembles a young Amy Poehler. Which is to say she’s not only cute, but there is depth to her performance and I like the portrayal. I even like the idiot brother who keeps getting involved with woman who wind up dead. His “trip” on V-blood was awesome. In fact, I mostly like all the characters. And there are fascinating new Vampire rules and this awesome idea of a Japanese company marketing fake blood to vampires that has all the nutrients of the real thing. Somehow this show got a weird rap – but it’s a fine show and I’m kind of hooked. This is really interesting new work from Alan Ball and I think it’s a really fun and creepy hour. And I suspect it’s going to get even better.
Grade: B +


JIM NORTON: MONSTER RAIN (HBO)
Jim Norton is the real thing. He’s really funny. Really dirty. And shockingly open about his own sexuality and past adventures - or he has a wild imagination. His recounting of a 3-way with Ron Jeremy was insanely funny and humbling – and at the end of the set, he says “I don’t want to get political now at the end of my set, but….” (joke too dirty to be printed here.) Highly recommended.
Grade: B +


JIM NORTON’S DOWN & DIRTY COMIC SHOW (HBO)
This is a series that has Norton hosting a quartet of comedians over the space of an hour. This first hour I watched featured Artie Lange, Jimmy Florentine, Whitney Cummings and Anthony Jeselnik, who was really funny but way too taken with himself. He did have a great opening line though “My family was a lot like the Brady Bunch. My dad died of AIDS.” Great opening, too bad he spent another 10 minutes marveling at his own opening. Whitney Cummings, aside from one good dirty joke regarding her name, was pretty useless. Jimmy Florentine was worth the price of admission as he masterfully tore through a hilariously profane set, and Artie Lange closed with a less dirty, but very funny set. Norton himself is awesome – and the show actually has the timing and vibe of being in one of those clubs with these dirty minded comics. Pretty awesome.
Grade: A


DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
Opened its season with a first rate episode that sets up the entire arc of the season. I thought DEXTER had a really good first year, and in some ways, even a better 2nd year. I still think the sister is a bad actress, but she’s slightly less annoying this year. Jimmy Smits, who I thought ruined NYPD BLUE, was terrific in the pilot and the whole idea of Dexter killing somebody by accident is a great way to start the season. Looks like another thrilling ride.
Grade: A

UPDATE: Episode 2
Not so much. Seemed to go through the paces in a rather clumsy way, and set up a real credibility problem with the plot. Also – Smits’ acting got a lot worse and his “accent” – I don’t know what the fuck he’s up to. And the sister is so bad in ep 2, it almost had to be seen to be believed. Lastly, who’s responsible for the horrendous haircut Dexter’s sporting?
Grade: B -


HOLE IN THE WALL (FOX)
This is kind of cool, for a minute. The coolest part of the show is when the hole comes out of the wall and the person tries – almost always unsuccessfully – to shape themselves like the hole – and it just happens so fast. It’s really funny and wild – for about 30 minutes.
Grade: C-


90210 (THE CW)
Well, now that Brenda left in typical fashion – they went out of their way to have her remain the bitch we always thought she was – it’s just Kelly and the cast of newbies. Sorry, no can do. The sensibility seems…off. But then again, to be fair, I liked watching the old characters. I wish they would just gather the old actors back and have it just be about them. But I hated that they made Brenda a total bitch again – as if she hasn’t grown in years – maybe the actress hasn’t – I have no idea – but certainly you wish for more from these characters. Oh, the rest of the show – unwatchable.
Grade: D


RED BELT (DVD)
The newest David Mamet film deals with mixed martial-arts. Like many a Mamet film, there is a House Of Games structure to this, and getting there is most of the fun. I’ve never seen the lead before but he was great. All the Mamet regulars are here like Joe Mantegna, etc – but the real surprise is how good Tim Allen is as a humorless action star. The last half hour of this gets a little strained and Mamet never seems to figure out how to shoot action – a real shame because it mars the ending of this film. But up until then, this is a pretty neat ride.
Grade: B -

JUST FOR FUN: Grades on Mamet movies: (these are just films written & directed by Mamet – so no GLENGARRY)

HOUSE OF GAMES: A +
THINGS CHANGE: B +
HOMICIDE: C
OLEANA: B
THE WINSLOW BOY: C
STATE & MAIN: B +



THE DEWEY COX STORY (SPECIAL UNRATED 2 DISC DVD)
If you loved this movie like I did, this is a great way to enjoy it. Not only does it contain both the theatrical and unrated versions (called “the unbearably long director’s cut”) but has great commentary from all the principals, great shorts, Apatow disc regulars like line-o-rama and a crazy amount of deleted or extended scenes. Best of all, there’s a whole Dewey Cox concert on disc 2 not really seen in the movie. This is a great, funny film that I think will find its audience. Highly underrated and highly recommended.
Grade: A


INVINCIBLE (HBO)
Inspired by the true story of Vince Papale, Marky Mark Wahlburg plays a man with nothing to lose who ignores staggering odds and makes his dreams of football glory come true. When the coach (Greg Kinnear – very good) of hometown football team hosted an unprecedented open tryout, the public consensus was that it was a waste of time -- no one good enough to play professional football was going to be found this way. Certainly no one like Papale -- a down-on-his-luck, 30 year-old, substitute teacher and part-time bartender who never even played college football. He also had a failing marriage and no visible means of income. In one humiliated scene, his phone is turned off but he suits up and goes to school to do his sub-teacher bit, and they tell him they tried to call but that they won’t be needing him this summer. Then his wife, convinced he’ll never become anything – leaves him. But against these odds, Papale made the team and soon found himself living every fan's fantasy -- moving from his cheap seats in the upper deck to standing on the field as a professional football player. This is a good but not great movie with a great soundtrack and some serious allusions of being an adult RUDY – but this is no RUDY – it’s just kind of okay. It just never really takes flight.
Grade: B –


CALIFORNICATION (SHOWTIME)
Got off to a rousing start with an episode that picks up shortly after least season’s finale. Hank is now back with his ex-wife when he “accidently” goes down on another girl. Evan Handler is solid as Hank’s agent, and the show seemed to gel right off the bat this season. Still not crazy about the actress that plays Evan Handler’s wife, but otherwise, this is a first class offering about one of the most depraved characters on television. God bless Showtime for letting the creators run free with this stuff.
Grade: A


I just watched the CHRISTIAN THE LION youtube video and God – that has to be the best minute of media out there. I swear to God.

AT THE MOVIES (ABC – NEW VERSION)
I was at football Sunday and there was a discussion about whether or not this new version – without the endorsement of series creator Roger Ebert and series long-stay Richard Roeper (who reportedly has his own review series in the works – don’t hold your breath) but I have to admit – I think the new version is just fine. I like the reviewers even if they are a bit young and inexperienced. I like the round up they do on one movie a week where they talk to a whole bunch of critics over one film – and so far, so good. It’s essentially the same show with a bit more sexiness thrown in – frankly, I preferred Siskel & Ebert – their bickering over films was one of the high points of the show. But that ship has sailed. I wished the new version would’ve starred Roeper and my favorite stand-in critic, A.O. Scott (I went to sleepaway camp with him) – but the new guys are okay and this is still a great way to find out about the new weeks releases.
Grade: B


Reality TV hit a brand new low with the absolutely wretched, God-Awful PARIS HILTONS’S NEW BFF.

I AM LEGEND (DVD – AND ALTERNATE ENDING)
I recently re-watched this film (most of it) on HBO. My friend R.C. asked me to check out the “alternate ending.” Look, I really liked this movie – but I’ve now seen 3 “alternate endings” and they’re all kind of the same. The film – still rocks. I did a little research on the book, and found out that I AM LEGEND, the original novel, was the basis for most Hollywood zombie films and even preceded George A. Romero’s NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD.
Grade: A -

Just for fun, let’s review the Romero films:
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD: A +
DAWN OF THE DEAD (1979) A +
DAY OF THE DEAD (1985) B +
DAWN OF THE DEAD (remake) B +
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (Savini 90s remake) B (script by Romero!)
KNIGHTRIDERS (Romero): A +
THE CRAZIES: C
MARTIN: B
THE DARK HALF: D
MONKEY SHINES: B -


NEW YORK GOES HOLLYWOOD (VH1)
Taylor Made shows up. Then he angrily storms off. New York goes to an audition and gets it (sort of.) The producers offer her “I LOVE NEW YORK 3” – and overall, this thing didn’t quite live up to its potential. It felt like it needed to get deeper into NY – but there may not be all much there. I think her best bet is to do another I LOVE NY and involve her insane mother again. Tiffany is still some kind of star and this series did have plenty of great moments – but I’m ready for I LOVE NY 3!
Grade: B -


THE 25th AVN PORN AWARDS (SHOWTIME)
The real news here is that I think this was the 2nd or 3rd time that AVN has actually broadcast the event, which makes it almost sort of mainstream. In a way. Anyway – the awards, the stars – it’s all pretentious and laughable and hilarious for all the wrong reasons. To see an actress come up and deliver a truly inspirational speech about being awarded “Best Anal” is something to see. They also had a major Howard Stern show contingency on hand. First, the MC of the show is the great Greg Fitszimmons, a regular on the Stern show, a GREAT comic and he also has his own show under Howard’s umbrella channel. Greg was REALLY funny, but then it was just as funny to see him have to trade barbs with porn stars like…Anal Cassidy – seriously – and his perfect comic timing mixed with these porn stars horrific comic timing and mispronciation of the jokes – that was pretty funny in itself. Then they bring out Artie Lange – who not only looked really embarrassed to be there, but somehow got roped into doing this absolutely ridiculously unfunny and awful bit where he introduces Nick Manning – I can’t say what was said because it was way pornographic, but it wasn’t funny and it seemed like Artie was there as a favor to someone. And probably for the free trip to Vegas. Then they even brought out Richard Christy and Benji Bronc – two more Stern regulars, for a truly unfunny bit that I can’t even remember. By the time Chi Chi Larue took the stage with this unfunny drag queen shtick – I had had enough.
Grade: C


I love the new Bruce Springsteen song “The Wrestler” which Ally L. sent me the mp3 of. It’s probably one of my favorite recent Bruce songs, and if the Mickey Rourke film about a worn down wrestler is half as good as the song, I can understand why it was a festival sensation. It was directed by the brilliant Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream) and I can’t wait to see it. But I love that fucking song.


How bad is that video that seems to be everywhere for Kelly Pickler’s “Beautiful?” She’s talking to all these kids about how beautiful their body image should be – and she sings it while flaunting the flotation device tits she had surgically installed last year!!!! Now don’t get me wrong – I have NO PROBLEM with Kelly’s enhanced boobage – frankly, I like it – but let’s not be hypocritical, either. The song is okay – I just don’t know why she felt – okay, this is a ridiculous item. Forget I said anything.


FAMILY GUY (FOX)
Something about Peter not being able to stop singing “the bird is the word” – I don’t remember much else about it.
Grade: B –


THE SIMPSONS (FOX)
A sub-par tale about Bart getting ahold of Dennis Leary’s cell phone.
Grade: C –


SOUTH PARK (COMEDY CENTRAL – isn’t that a weird fucking name for a network?)
A sub-par tale about Cartman being racist against the Chinese – I couldn’t finish it. This show is sometimes brilliant – not this time.
Grade: C –


CHRIS ROCK: Kill the Messenger (HBO)
Very good show. The rap on Rock is that every other special is great. His first BRING THE PAIN was legendary. Frankly his next two – not so great. But then his 4th special “Never Scared” was da bomb. In this, his 5th special – HBO went through the trouble of taping the same routine in London, New York and South Africa – which means that in the middle of routines, they cut to a different locale of Chris with a different audience and a different outfit – but doing the same bit. This innovative idea was cool for about five minutes, then got in the way and really distracted from what was a very very funny set. Not as good as BRING THE PAIN, not quite on the same level as NEVER SCARED, but in that top three. He’s a funny mother fucker, I just wasn’t crazy about all the weird jump cutting. But his routines on the election were really good. His ideas about sex and orgasms were hilarious – and hopefully next time they’ll just present a complete show. Still, this is not to be missed. This is one of our very best comedians working today in great form.
Grade: B +


There is a lot of stuff I never got to review here, but I still have every GENERATION KILL on my dvr, I still have last week’s HOUSE, I’m looking forward to CRASH on STARZ, looking forward to LIFE ON MARS – and I just got the DVDs of WE OWN THE NIGHT and FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL which I heard was really good, and I’m sorry, but again – this is the end of the line for this blog for the moment. I’m always here via email here at TheDigitalCouch@aol.com

Thanks again for reading all these years and I’m sure we’ll meet again.

Sincerely yours,
Digital Couch.

2008/10/04

JZ leaves GLAM GOD! The fix is in!

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (NBC)
Was not horrible this week. Tina Fey was funny as Sarah Palin. There were some funny sketches. I already forgot who hosted but I remember Duffy being kind of great. Is this show every going to be great again? It’s been five or so years since they’ve had a decent season. Hmm…and Seth Myers was made head writer a few years ago….
Grade: C -


GLAM GOD (VH1)
Wha’ happened! So long, Jess! JZ finally got the boot even though I liked her designs a lot better than some of those that stayed – but still, she came in fifth place! She should’ve won, but – this is a reality show. By the way, for those of you watching – how much of a fucking douchebag is Ignashio, the constipated odd looking bald buck-toothed bi-sexual cowboy? If he wins it must be because they all felt sorry for him. Still, Jess went out in great style and humor, and in the mind of the DIGITAL COUCH, Jess wins!
Grade: A
Jess Zaino: A+


WEEDS (SHOWTIME)
After a reinvented season where the focus of the show was a little unclear, WEEDS turns out to have many tricks up its sleeve in its last batch of first run episodes. The last three eps of this were absolutely hilarious, profane, morally ambiguous and terrifically exciting. With a doozey of a cliffhanger and many situations resolved and new ones revived (does Andy really love Nancy?) – I can hardly wait for season 6. Who knew after 5 seasons this show had this much life left in it? Kudos to the creative team for allowing the show to evolve to this point. Mary Louise Parker continues to amaze as Nancy Botwin. And Kevin Nealon brought his character to an all new low this season – fantastic.
Grade: A


BRIAN WILSON “LUCKY OLD SUN” (AUDIO CD)
Kind of a cool concept CD without many great songs. It’s short – on the 32 minute side – and there are flashes of old Beach Boys genius in the air – but really, this feels more like a one-off novelty than anything else. Not as good as SMILE and nowhere near as good as his 86’ self-titled masterpiece, BRIAN WILSON.
Grade: C


THE EMMY AWARDS (ABC)
This is not good. A few people scored. Bob Hope, Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Jimmy Kimmel, Ricky Gervais….can’t think of anyone else. Most of it was unwatchable – the 5 hosts looked so insanely out of place that they should’ve probably been replaced during the broadcast. You know things are bad when Ryan Seacrest comes off as the most polished. But don’t blame them – blame the guy who thought that putting 5 reality hosts to run the Emmys was a good idea. The Josh Groban thing with him singing all the themes – well, that was just unfortunate and I’m sorry we all had to witness that. The DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES bullshit presentation made me sick and that weird move of Marcia Cross kissing Dana Delaney – it was just really cringe inducing. I’ve been watching the Emmys since I have been watching TV, and last night’s show was even worse than last year – which was the worst of all time. ABC – just imagine if you had your late night host - Jimmy Kimmel, did a superb job with NIGHT OF STARS - imagine if you had that guy actually hosting your show? Kathy Griffin was embarrassing, as was a dazed looking Christian Slater. As the night wore on, the jokes – those bad fucking jokes – they just grew worse and worse, and once again, THE AMAZING RACE won the Emmy for like – the 5th time in a row. Have you seen the show? It’s good but – 6 times? Is it THAT AMAZING? And Bryan Cranston over Jon Hamm? What is up with that??? Lastly, Heidi Klum might be the worst Emmy host, ever. She's fine on Project Runway - but my God, she was no camera-ready last Sunday night.
Grade: D


JIMMY KIMMEL’S NIGHT OF STARS (ABC)
In a zany take off of the pre-Oscar Barbara Walters special, Jimmy interviews a bunch of celebs but rather than a straight forward approach, this is satire in which Jimmy satirizes Walters in an attempt to get these celebs to cry. He was hilarious with Mike Phelps, asking him if there was a “little mermaid” in his life. The interview also included a hysterical parody of GREYS ANATOMY starring Phelps that’s probably making the rounds on YOUTUBE if you want to see it. When he introduced Tracey Morgan, he claimed that the job on SNL “got his family off welfare – 8 months later.” He also added that for 30 ROCK, Tracey was “almost nominated for an Emmy.” He even made Mr. Morgan cry, which lead to a tender embrace. He then egged Tracey on to destroy the set of “How I Married Your Mother” screaming about “Doogie Houser!” Morgan followed suit – with a baseball bat to that set. Ben Stein made a funny appearance, followed by a hilarious one-on-one with Selma Hayek that lead to a great singing duet between Jimmy and Selma in which Jimmy kept pleading for Selma to take her shirt off. That lead to a full blown musical number which probably should’ve been included in the actual Emmy telecast. The show concluded with Jimmy interviewing the 5 reality show hosts about what they planned for the Emmys – which was much funnier than anything the useless reality hosts actually did on the actual show. Why ABC didn’t just have Jimmy host the awards show is beyond me, but even if he does next year, I’d still love to see this hour become a perennial.
Grade: A +

MAD MEN (AMC)
Don Draper is finally called out on his bullshit by his wife. Jon Hamm is so good in this role it saddens me that I published a blog a few months ago that referred to Jon as PETER HAMM. My apologies to Jon – as he’s one of my very favorite actors working today and his performance not only should’ve taken home the Emmy Sunday night, but he’s now created the most interesting character on TV since Tony Soprano. And this show, by getting into some of the other characters and constantly upping the ante of what’s come before, has again become the event of the season.
Grade: A +


OASIS “NEW CD” (AUDIO CD)
I went into this skeptically. I’ve been a huge fan of OASIS since WONDERWALL and the MORNING GLORY CD. I even stayed with them through their last few worthless CDs. Up until about 3 CDs ago, they still managed to pull off a cool song here and there. But the last few yielded not one memorable tune. Not one. They went from cool pop songs with a Beatles-esque flair to bad harder-rock with useless Beatles-esque flairs. This new CD, their newest in years – blows. Hard. Not one fucking likable song. Well – there is ONE song that comes close to reminding me of why I used to love this band in the first place. But it’s not even that good. This is like – Dylan’s 80s period – just a string of one useless CD after the other. And they are so arrogant that when they go on tour they refuse to play the songs we like, opting for a full recreation of their latest piece of garbage. This new CD is basically like – hard guitar rock mixed with every old Beatles sound-effect that they could take out of context and drop it into their music as if would breathe life into this most careless collection. Track 5 is the only redeemable moment in this turgid hour. Will they ever make a good record again?
Grade: D –
THAT ONE SONG: B -


DANCING WITH THE STARS (ABC)
Ted McGinley got old and started wearing a very strange wig. But very likable. Jeff Ross was funny, Kim Kardashian looked downright retarded, with that strange bob of a haircut and her cold facial expressions. Chloris Leachman was funny, Susan Lucci was not. Brooke Burke might be the most dazzling woman on planet earth. But I can’t review the dancing – I truly know nothing of dance. I can only review the overall impact of the show. And I’ve always liked DANCING best when they give us what we want – true B-listers slumming it and making us remember what we loved about them while showing us how graceful they are. But this season, it seems like I don’t know half of these “stars” and to be honest – once the people I know are gone, I don’t stick around to find out who wins.
Grade: C
UPDATE: Now Kim Kardashian is gone. So am I.

BOSTON LEGAL (ABC)
I think the reason I’ve been so hard on this show over the years is because it comes so frustratingly close to being great, yet it absolutely refuses to yield it’s “comedy” to let the drama breathe. And yes, there are moments of true wit, and yes, Spader and Shatner truly have unbelievable chemistry. But imagine if this had been set in the real world instead of this post-Ally McBeal weirdo universe. I remember the last season of McBeal, when a character would walk in the room they had this sort of, sound-off of all the character tics. The one guy would whistle, the dragon lady would hiss, someone would swoop their necks – all in drama-killing sound effects. This is essentially the same show with a classier cast and issue-oriented cases (mostly.) Shatner is great as Denny Crane, but they overplay his shtick shamelessly. James Spader, who seems to be finally underplaying Alan just a little bit, is undeniably great as Alan – but this show – in its last season, never cared enough about these characters to draw a real storyline – it’s just like, bad sitcom ideas with some juicy courtroom drama. Anyway, I’m sure I will watch this season to see what happens – but, if only the producers would just trust the acting and the stories to carry this instead of the Catskills Comedy vibe that infects every episode.
Grade: C +

UPDATE: BOSTON LEGAL (ABC)
So – fucking BOSTON LEGAL bounced back the next week with an insanely good story that tackled the voting age, a little girl’s rape and a case against the big pharmaceutical companies – and it was great. They even made some inside jokes about this being their last year (Shatner asked “Can’t we try another time slot?”) but I have to admit – this was a great, gripping episode that definitely showed why Shatner and Spader have walked off with so many Emmys.
Grade: B +


TaLK TO ME (HBO)
Don Cheadle stars as real-life radio trailblazer Ralph "Petey" Greene, a high-school dropout and charismatic ex-con who leveraged a prison disc jockey gig into a stint at a Washington, D.C., radio station, a television show and an invitation to the White House. Don Cheadle is electrifying in the role, and the first hour of this film, which charts Greene’s ascension from Jail to radio star is fantastic. And then the film takes a completely unexpected turn (at least to me) and becomes less electrifying but very interesting. The supporting cast is stellar, and I personally thought this was going to be some kind of Howard Stern PRIVATE PARTS retread – but it’s completely original and real and highly recommended.
Grade: B


ENTOURAGE (HBO – 3rd episode)
Vince agrees to come to a sweet 16 for an appearance fee and Ari gets into an escalating war with his long time rival agent, Davies. This was the best of the first batch of 5th season eps, and the sweet 16 girl was hilarious and the place that Ari’s war goes was surprising, although – Ari is seen without his car at the end saying “there was a problem” that seemed to get left on the cutting room floor. Still – this was a particularly good episode.
Grade: A -

UPDATE: Next Episdoe.
ENTOURAGE (HBO – 4th episode)
Finally, after all that talk and wish fulfillment of the boys – we are returning to my favorite topic of ENTOURAGE – the art of the deal. This ep, which had Ari and Vince trying to sell SMOKEJUMPERS while E. tried to weasel out of his commitment to Vince’s old agent (I forget her name) – was awesome. Not a huge fan of Giavani Ribisi – but otherwise – these are killer eps.
Grade: A


DON’T FORGET THE LYRICS! (FOX)
The only thing more annoying than the two singing sisters was Wayne Brady himself. I would probably like this show if not for Brady. He’s either the most useless, phoniest guy in Hollywood, or just doing a great impression of it. The two sisters on the show I watched were so unbearable, seriously – did anybody see them? Yet I love the idea of this show. Replace the host and I’d watch it every week. Wayne Brady is to comedy what Adolph Hitler is to comedy.
Grade: C -


KITCHEN NIGHTMARES (FOX)
Chef Ramsey had his toughest challenge yet with an incredibly arrogant young chef, and this continues to be one of the best reality shows on TV. Every episode is usually packed with great stuff and Ramsey is a great reality star. Funny, quick witted and real – although I still think the wrong person won last summers HELL’S KITCHEN.
Grade: A


ER (NBC)
ER debuted to their 15th and final season with a frantic and somber tale about Greg Pratt, who’s been on the show for 7 seasons. No spoilers – but this was as harrowing and tense hour as the show has had in a long time.
Grade B +


THE OFFICE ( NBC)
Would do you say about a show that believes itself to be the funniest show on television, but – in actuality – is one of the least funny shows on television?
Grade: C –


WAITRESS (HBO)
I loved this movie. I loved the story, I loved the theme – I especially loved the dialog. The dialog was as good as it gets in a wistful tale like this. At one point, Kerri Russel, who plays the married pregnant lead perfectly (and seems light years away from her FELICITY role,) is having this sort-of platonic relationship with a married man and they talk a lot in these scenes but it’s great talk. Kerri says in a VOICE OVER: “I became addicted to talking to him. And addicted to my words meaning something to someone.” The life observations in this are also real, shrewd and dead-on. At one point, Russel’s oafish husband, played to absolute perfection by Jeremy Sisto, doing yet another totally original take on the asshole, is having sex with her and asks her to talk dirty. She replies “what do you want me to…” and she’s interrupted by him finishing. This is just a great film and I really loved every single second of it. The director and co-star, Adrien Shelley did a superb job with this film, and days before its release she was killed in her apartment by a construction worker she had a beef with. I’m sketchy on the exact details – but – Jesus. In any case, I doubt she’d want the review to focus on her death, but if felt irresponsible not to mention it. Either way, she left behind 3 kids, a husband and a perfect film.
Grade: A+


IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA (FX)
I always thought this show tried way too hard to be funny and endearing. I recently watched a fresh batch of eps and found that I’m still right – except that the show is a bit more funny and endearing than I initially gave it credit for. Either they’ve really improved, or they’re simply more confident now in their storytelling and point of view. Danny Devito, such an 80s sitcom star – is completely reinvented as the wretched father and even though the main cast still tries a bit too hard - it all sort of works much better now and I will be watching and maybe catching up with some previous episodes. I sort of like the audacity of the stories even if I’m not always crazy about the execution.
Grade: B


KIMMEL LIVE! (ABC)
Jimmy had a really funny sketch on the other night – first they showed Matt Damon talking really vaguely about Sarah Palin and how it’s like a bad Disney movie –then they put a faux promo together that – this is impossible to explain – but really funny. Jon Hamm was on the same show and was hilarious with Jimmy.
Grade: A

IN BRUGES (DVD)
A very slow start that builds to a real depth in this look at these 2 hitmen who are laying low In Bruges after they’ve just completed some hit. It’s not at all an issue based film, but rather – it’s rumination on friendship and violence, movie violence – but it does so entertainingly and even wistfully. This is a rather unusual film in which there is nothing I can think of in recent memory that really compares to it. It’s truly unique and original and it will stay with you longer than you suspect. And by the way – Colin Farrell – best role of his career. Rest of the fairly unknown cast is as good – just can’t remember all their names. Highly recommended.
Grade: B +


BILL MAHR (HBO)
Is a great show, but did he really have to call Sarah Palin a bimbo? What is he?
Grade: A


OUTSIDERS INN (CMT)
So fucking ridiculous. So overly and obviously badly scripted. It started out okay – but by now, the 5th episode in, you literally can’t believe what you’re watching and how contrived, set up and god-awful the whole production is. You have these insane incidents that would NEVER happen in real life, then you have the three idiots, Bobby Brown, Maureen McCormick (Marcia Brady) and Carnie Wilson doing testimonials about there “night in jail.” (Because Maureen – in an insultingly scripted scene – was dancing with a cowboy in this empty bar when their central-casting hussies came by to make trouble and Maureen announced “Let’s throw down now!”) Then they got taken to the slammer. So you had Marcia Brady and Carnie Wilson complaining about being in jail because Maureen doesn’t back down from a fight….this is a fucking insult and everyone involved with this show should be arrested.
Grade: F -


FAMILY GUY (FOX)
Reminded us why it’s one of the best half hours on Fox with their season premiere, in an episode that had Brian dressed as Snoopy (along with a Woodstock to complete the profane joke that followed,) Brian having sex with a civilian while Stewie proved himself to be more of a freak than ever, and ended with Cleveland (soon to be star of his own series) complaining that having sex with that woman is something he will never forget – she left him a genital wart. Brian and Cleveland looked at each other a long time after Cleveland revealed the information – and then Cleveland said “It hurts.”
Grade: A


THE SIMPSONS (FOX)
Another winner – from the 20th season premiere. Ned and Homer became bounty hunters and Marge took to baking for an erotic bakery. While I think they missed about half the jokes re: the bakery – this show, after all these years, is still rock solid.
Grade: A


AMERICAN DAD (FOX)
Not so much.
Grade: C -