The new JACKASS MOVIE!

This picture is one I took in Chatsworth when my mom's apartment complex was being evacuated by the fire department a few years ago.

JACKASS 2 (IN THEATRES)
Great. Disgusting. Revolting. Great. No story - just a great presentation of the most grossed out stunts you've ever seen. Not for the squamish - this film is helped greatly by the good humor of its stars. Best gag: the terrorist in the cab. Try seeing this one in the theatre.
Grade: A +

LOST ( SEASON 2 DVD SET) - WARNING: SPOILERS!
Me and The Girl are about 4 eps from finishing season 2 - Despite the very bad acting of Michelle Rodriguez, this is a fantastic show that continues to intrigue. Ep 20 just ended with the shock of what Michael does in the hatch - I don't really want to spill details in case you haven't seen it - but I do wonder what they're going to do about the fact that they showed the lovely female shrink in Hurley's flashback as another wacko. We're just waiting on Netflix for the final 4 eps.
Grade: A

SNL: STEVE MARTIN & PRINCE (NBC)
Aside from the opening sketch - horrendous.
Grade: D

WEEDS (SHOWTIME)
Gets better & better. Did Andy really get F..ed in the A... by the female Jewish instructor using a black dildo strap on?????
Grade: B +

THE WIRE (HBO)
Da Bomb.
Grade: A +

FLAVA OF LOVE (VH1)
What can I say - I love television.
A +

MTV'S LITTLE TALENT SHOW (MTV)
Bad. Real bad - and unfair to the poor kids performing in it. And Kimberly Locke thinks she's....I don't know who the hell she thinks she is - but she's annoying and horrible.
Grade: D

BLIND DATE (SYND)
Since The Girl never watched these on there original run, I'm showing her some from SPIKE TV - very funny writers. Unusual daters.
Grade: B

HOUSE OF GAMES (DVD)
A great gem from the 80s that almost made you believe that Joe Montegna was the next Al Pacino or Robert DeNiro. He's never been better - neither has David Mamet.
A +

SURVIVOR: COOK ISLANDS (CBS)
I appreciate the race thing they're doing - but the show is still boring.
Grade: C

I taped the CONDENDER marathon - whoo hoo!

JOE SIMPSON IS REALLY CREEPY!

The following is reprinted, without permission of course, from THE SUPERFICIAL blog site - which is one of my favorite gossip sites:
http://thesuperficial.com/
According to sources who've had recent dealings with him, Simpson has a tight working arrangement with WireImage, the mega-agency and wire service that rules the red-carpet at nearly every high-profile event in the western hemisphere. On several occasions, a camera-wielding Simpson has gone toe-to-toe with other snappers for shots of his own daughters, then approved only his own images for distribution through WireImage. At other times, he has provided the agency with exclusive (and even racy) shots of his daughters on family getaways or in other putatively private moments.
Needless to say, other photographers aren't happy. One recalled being invited to cover an event sponsored by Jessica's record label, Epic, only to find her shots blocked again and again by Joe and his Nikon. "I thought it was really odd that he was always in my way, since I was the one who was paid to be there shooting," she says. Though the freelancer did manage to get some clean shots, Joe's were the only ones WireImage deemed worthy of being distributed. (add pioc)
And look at the pictures he takes of his daughters - so now he's talking about his daughter's bodies in public, AND he's snapping these pictures. Why do I keep thinking that Joe Simpson is either going to end up on the JERRY SPRINGER show or DATELINE: TO CATCH A PREDATOR?

HOUSE (FOX)
The cane is back without much fanfare - not that it wasn't warranted - but House dismissed all talk of his cane and pain - choosing to focus on the guest star, JOEL GREY, who was fantastic as a revolutionary doctor. I thought the ep was great - even though I hated seeing those cute mice torn apart, but I wasn't sure what I thought of House going to the Church after Cameron did the deed and saying "I'm proud of you." The show is usually a bit more subtle then that - but an excellent hour nonetheless.
Grade: A

FAMILY GUY (TOON)
Me and The Girl caught a couple of repeats on TOON - the one where Lois and Meg go to Spring Break was great and Peter becomes a fisherman. This is one of the best animated shows to come along ever.
Grade: A

NIP/TUCK (FX)
Last night was another stellar, if BADLY directed entry in this series. I loved the storylines and Sean's fling and Christian's YOUTUBE experience - and his admiration of Mario Lopez - shockingly good as a nice-guy plastic surgeon. But what was with the color scheme of the ep, the look, the angles - it's rare that I notice when something is directed this badly - but this was screaming for attention.
Grade: B +

OVER THERE (FX - 1ST SEASON DVD SET (only season))
Continues to get better. The battle scenes in Iraq were actually shot in Chatsworth - but I defy anyone to point that out while watching it. This was one of the most intense shows ever, and I wish FX would've given it another season - but the 13 episode dvd set is a real treat and like a great, extended war film.
Grade: A

THE SIMPSON (FOX)
Still hilarious - after 14 years.
Grade: A -

DATELINE (NBC)
They did something pretty cool - they pretended to make a hydrating pill made solely from NESTLE QUICK and tried to get one of these infomercial production houses to put together the infomercial. Only they secretly taped everything and interviewed all the participants after - I swear - I will never look at another infomercial the same way. It's so fucking fake! The actors are paid to rave about the product and the companies don't seem to care about getting any proof that the items work.
Grade: B +

BLIND DATE UNSENCORED (DVD)
A gem if you were a fan of the show back in the late 90s - It revisits all the dates and adds boobies and curses. And it's laugh out loud funny.
Grade: B

THE SHIELD (SEASON 2 DVDS)
THE SHIELD has a pretty good second season - though from what I remember - the weakest of all 5 seasons. I'm not sure they knew where to go - but they still found many great stories to tell. We have about 7 more to go on this one, but I remember seasons 3,4 & 5.1 rocking the house - with 5 being nail-biting.

HOUSE (FOX)
"Cane & Abel." The 2nd episode was superbly written, acted and directed. This is one of the very best one hours on network tv and to those who missed it - they repeat at some point the week after the initial airing on USA network. Hugh Laurie was great - the mystery was fantastic and the stakes were high. The question of whether House will go back to using his cain and popping vicoden was handled with integrity to the show and honesty to the character. Man, this show is good.
Grade: A +

HAPPY HOUR (Fox)
Unwatchable.
Grade: F

DEAL OR NO DEAL (NBC)
Addictive, and now that I've found the game online, even more so.
Grade: B

PRISON BREAK (FOX)
Continues to kick ass. RIP Abruzzi - you will be sorely missed. T-Bag - you fucking scumbag - I can't wait till you die.
Grade: B +

THE WIRE is back!

Look what happened to Ashlee Simpson - I found her real look much cuter then the Jessica Clone she's been turned into. What is up with Joe Simpson? He's a really creepy dude.

KILL BILL PART 2 (TNT)

The Girl was sick this weekend so we ended up watching the edited tv version of this - even without letterbox and 5.1 - this movie still rocks the house. QT was at his very best here. Best Edit: instead of calling her a "cunt" - Bill calls The Bride a "sour puss."

Grade: A +

THE WIRE (HBO)
Sprawling. Ambitious. Trenchant. Da Bomb.
Grade: A

THE WIRE (HBO)
Episode 2. Sprawling. Ambitious. Trenchant. Moving. Da Bomb.
Grade: A +

THE PATH TO 9/11 (ABC)
I just watched the first 30 minutes of this 5 hour movie - will wait till I'm done to offer a real review - but - just based on the opening incident - they bombed the WTC over 8 years ago - they were supposed to topple over each other - apparently they kept going till they got it right. I'll leave my anger and my politics out of this - but the film is really good and I'll finish it over the weekend.

LOST (SEASON 2 DVDS)
Up to episode 10 - we just found out the back story on Mr. Ecco. It's a different show from the first season - and I like where it's going - I just wonder if they do.
Grade: A -

LOST (SEASON 2 DVDS)
Me and THE GIRL just watched up to ep 16 - it's getting really nasty again. I think I hate Sawyer for crushing that frog in front of Hurley. Charlie has turned into a little nasty freak. And the tension between Lock and Jack is palpable. I can't figure out if Sun is lying about her pregancy to spare Jin's feelings - and lastly - while I do love this show - they put a LOT of effort into building up the character of ANNA LUCIA - only to cast her with an actress that doesn't have near the acting chops nor the gravitas - and frankly, looks WAY WAY WAY too young to be playing this bad-ass jaded cop. She's much better in scenes where she's in and out - as opposed to the first batch of eps where she was front and center. And I think the guy in the Hatch is with the others - but that's just my guess - we won't know till netflix gets here on monday.
I can't wait.
Grade: A

DUETS (FOX)
I only tune in for Hal Sparks - Rock God.

THE SHIELD (SEASON 1 DVD)
Just watched this with the girl - great circle of initial 13 eps - was great to re-watch them. At the time I thought the real-estate scam was not only bullshit, but way to much caught up in the "corruption" theme of the whole series - but I liked it much better the second time around - or maybe I'm just more partial to stuff I watch with the girl Also - every episode has an extremely annoying and self congratulatory commentary - but hey - it is a great show, so maybe they've earned their bragging rights. There are TONS of extras, including like - 30 deleted scenes.
Grade: A

THE VIEW (ABC)
Peppery Rosie! I hear she's not getting along there and wants to re-design the show. My prediction: she will not last the season but ABC or another network will give her her own show. This won't last.

RESCUE ME (3rd SEASON FINALE - FX)
The Girl hasn't seen this yet - I fucked up on TIVO so she missed the last 5 or so of the season - but suffice it to say - I thought the season ended very well - though the bit with Tommy's brother seemed REALLY convenient.
Grade: B

FLAVA OF LOVE (VH1)
This might be the BEST of all reality shows now that BB ALL STARS has finished. These women on these shows - they are fucking HILARIOUS - and Flav is just a star. This 2nd season is getting really good - now that NEW YORK is back up in this bitch.
Grade: A

BIG BROTHER ALL STARS (CBS)
Hands down - one of the very best seasons ever of any reality show. The finale' was great, and Mike Boogie did an excellent job of turning the jury on his side - but he had a lot more votes than I would've thought, as the jury voted for his game play, rather then indulge their vengeance of not winning. This was really a sequel to season 2 - as Dr. Will won that, his sidekick now picks up the pace to win the prize the 2nd time around. I can't believe how much hatred for Erica was on display - and I plan to interview both Boogie and Dr. Will for this blog. Mike - you did it.
Grade: A +

THE VIEW (ABC)
They had on Mike Boogie, Erica and Janelle. Rosie gave Mike a bunch of shit. Elizabeth talked strangely about "reality shows" - perhaps forgetting that she's be nothing without SURVIVOR, where she was "discovered."

CARRIE (DVD)
Horror film done as art. Spectacular turns from Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie. John Travolta shines in his very first role, as does Nancy Allen. The extras are packed - the transfer devine - alas - no commentary - but a docu that catches up with most of the principles 30 years later - and 30 years later - that ending still scared the shit out of everybody in the house and probably changed movies forever. If you've forgotten, I refer to the scene where Amy Irving puts flowers on a grave...
A

WEEDS (SHOWTIME)
Continues to get better and better - with twists I never see coming and a refreshing "newness" that places it in the upper echelon of half hour dramadies. I like this show a LOT. The Girl LOVES IT.
Grade: B +

DANE COOK: VICIOUS CYCLE (HBO)
Shocking only in the fact that Dane seems to have worked on his material and actually made me laugh hard quite a few times. A very good show and Dane Cook is finally in top form (for Dane.) While it doesn't have the tear stained belly laughs that Eddie, Chris Rock or even Mitch Hedberg used to deliver, it was a great concert and I laughed a LOT.
Grade: B

NIP/TUCK (FX)
Continues to be really good in it's 4th season. Another good episode. They seemed to have really forgotten about The Carver (Thank God) and now we can set our sites back on Kimberly, where they belong. And Matt's becoming a Scientologist - will the insanity ever stop? And will Matt ever find a suitable hair style?
Grade: B +

From time to time, my buddy MARK WALDMAN writes a poem that I fancy enough to share with my blog readers. Although usually on the depressing side, the uplift is in the craft.

As usual - please feel free and feel encouraged to leave anonymous postings on my board.

And now, I give you mark's latest:

All the famous writers, and me

by Mark G. Waldman

Some of them are terrificothers mortifying

I can't make it past a few pages f

or someothers

I can pour through endlessly

Hard to say what makes a writer greator

at least what forms that connection

I find the more flowery the language

and more density to the work

the more I nod off

I honestly think I have attention-deficit problems

though I've never been diagnosed with anything

I can focus for a long time on what I like

not so long and what I don't

if the writing is boringI skim

I've skimmed a lot in life

When the words are pure

and the sentiment relatable I am there

I won't go into what writers I like

and which I don't

some you would guess

others you wouldn't

and occasionally a fist fight might break out

and there's nothing more tragic

than literary-minded dorks beating hell out of one another

I like it quick

and I like it clean

I like it to make sense

I like whimsy

I like the words to be organicand feel as if I wrote them

I like to smirk when I read

and occasionally laugh out loud

if it's sad I like to feel profoundly moved

and pages of bullshit doesn't make me move more

in fact

quite the opposite

I recall one summer in my youth

laying in my backyard on a too hot day

trying to drink some sunlight into my pasty, pale skin

Flies buzzed around it was unbearably sizzling and I was reading a convoluted

yet famous book

by a well-regarded Southern writerI read

and read

and re-read

and swatted away flies,while my skinboiled

I finally gave up

went inside

figured that this Southern writer must be wonderful but I was missing it

The writing was too thick

too unwieldy

and me without any interest

so

whether the writer is from the South

or a slob from California beware

if there are flies buzzing around

and the weather conditions not just so

you don't stand a chance

***by Mark Waldman

THE RETURN OF LOST!

So - we have netflixed the 2nd season - can't wait.

I just watched THE FLIGHT THAT FOUGHT BACK - it made me very angry and very sad.

I can't WAIT for the new Elton CD. Although they seemed to have cancelled plans to make the RED PIANO dvd. He's probably just going to wait for a new tour to release.

Why won't Billy Joel put out a proper dvd?

I hear the new DYLAN CD is awesome.

I watched a very interesting show on CRYSTAL METH today - that is one hard drug to kick evidently.

Me and my girl are in a 1st season SHIELD marathon - I had forgotten how very good that first season was. Vick Mackey is just a great fucking character. And I still kind of hate Shane.

I feel really bad for Anna Nicole Smith - that is a tragedy.

I wish FREAKS & GEEKS were still on.

I bought the first season of GREY'S ANATOMY - looking forward to it.

Can't get into DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. It's just too goofy.

Going to start getting into the Ricky Gervais podcasts now that I know how to upload to my Video Ipod.

Billy Joel called in to the STERN show today and said that 9/11 is one of the main reasons that he hasn't been able to write a new pop album. But I hope he gets over that - it's been over 10 years and he needs to come up with something new. His tours are too much of a greatest hits show (of which I will go to everyone.)

HOT WINGS CAFE on Melrose is really fucking delicious. So isCALIFORNIA CHICKEN CAFE. Frankie's on Melrose - a very very decent Italian place - is good and reasonable.

Today we started our weigh-in contest. I weighed in at 202 - I will not reveal what the little lady weighed - but she needs to lose 8 pounds to my 10 - let the games begin.

Until later...

Sunday Night Animated comedies are back!

JACKASS: UNRATED EDITION (DVD)
Almost exactly the same as the R version with a bit more penis and testacles in the mix - and a 5 minute extra bit of so-so gags. I should've stuck with the original but I paid 13 bux for this and felt ripped off. Still - no matter what - laugh out funny. Worst/Best gag: the paper cutting bit. I still can't watch that. The commentaries here are first rate and hysterical.

Grade: A

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE (IN THEATERS)
Wanted to love it - ended up just sort of liking it. The cast is good, but everyone, especially the script, tries way to hard. The movie is sort of derivitave of every low budget Indie you've ever seen - but the little girl who battles for MISS SUNSHINE just about steals the show. Jess LOVED it - me:
Grade: C -

FASHION ROCKS (CBS)
One of the very best rock/dance shows - Elton spun the hits - Scizzor Sisters showed - there were so many great acts and songs - this was really one for the books - catch it if they repeat it. Elton even sung a new song from his upcoming CD, THE CAPTAIN AND THE KID.
A

SIMPSONS (FOX - SEASON PREMERE)
Homer and his son get involved in the mob. I think this is season 14??? And to have an episode be this funny - great. I hope all the Sunday nite animated shows stay on forever.
Grade: A

FAMILY GUY/AMERICAN DAD (FOX - SEASON PREMIERES)
What can I say - I laughed really hard last night - and FINALLY - THE SIMPSONS plays with the other 2 shows - I got really sick of the Simpsons being on at 7 or mixed in with the unwatchable KING OF THE HILL - now if we could just get rid of WAR AT HOME once and for all and find a way to stick new SOUTH PARKS in that 9 30 slot......
Grade for these 2 shows: A

It was great to watch brand new back to backs of these instant classics.

A moment of silence for the odd death of Anna Nicole's son 3 days after the birth of her new daughter. Strange and very sad.

I enjoyed listening to the STERN SHOW'S re-broadcast of their 9/11 radio show. I've also enjoyed listening to Howard on my computer now that the show streams to the computer if you are a subscriber to Sirius.

Me and my girl are in a weight loss competition - I will reveal the results as they come in. What are we betting? The human rights of the other for 5 days - so if I lose, she can make me do whatever she wants for 5 days - I suspect this will involve lots of LEAVING THE HOUSE. If I win - Jess can really expect to watch LOTS of WISEGUY, DAWN OF THE DEAD and HILL STREET BLUES episodes.

MY VIEW ON "THE VIEW" & MIKE BOOGIE MANIA?

THE VIEW (ABC)
I think I was rushing to judgement the other day. Rosie is doing very well on the show - although she needn't suck ALL the air out of the room. The funny thing is - now with Babs - who's an icon, Rosie and Joy, who's pretty funny in her own right - what is left now for poor vapid Elizabeth? It really seems like she's stranded on an island - she's not interesting, she's talking more then ever and saying less then ever - it's bad and embarrassing to watch. I mean - I sort of like the idea of an "every woman" in the mix - but her??? She was on SURVIVOR and she married a sports celebrity AND she's incredibly right-leaning and conservative - so the only time she pipes up is to sermonize. Now, I would love for someone on the right to be on that show - but Elizabeth does her party no favors with her flimsy reactions and quick empty platitudes. I swear - I kind of wish Star was still there - her and Rosie - now that might've been interesting. But Elizabeth - I will bet that by this time next year you are gone. It was funny to watch Jessica Simpson, who seems to have the same lips now as Bree Walker. She tries really hard now to appear smart and combat that goofy image - but nobody really wants her to pretend to be smart. It reminds me of being friends with someone you don't like because you feel bad for them. She has looks and talent - so I guess every one in her camp laughs at her jokes and placates her - but Jesus - she does not do well on her own. I think she has a learning disability, but that's anybody's guess. Anyway - maybe when Elizabeth gets fired she could work for Simpson and discuss their haircuts together (as they did on the show to nobody's interest.)

CELEBRITY DUETS (FOX)
As embarressing and great as ever - Hal Sparks is the next Springsteen, man!!!

PRISON BREAK (FOX)
Just watched the first 3 in a mini marathon. It gets better and better and has become one of my network favorites. William Fincher was an excellent addition. And that T-Bag - he's a fucking worm.
Grade: B +

THE LIFESTYLE: SWINGING IN AMERICA (DVD)
The scariest film about swinging ever made. These people are your grandparents - and between their horrifying orgy and the horrifying amounts of food they eat at these things (all orgies are "pot luck") this might be the best argument AGAINST swinging ever made. But God bless these odd-looking lunatics - they are having a blast.
A

BIG BROTHER ALL STARS (CBS)
And Mike Boogie takes the lead - I think Erica will win based on votes in the house - but this season has been greatly unpredictable - and Erica really got to where she is by doing almost nothing. However - Mike has really offended the house guests with his bursts of anger and his competitive nature - I don't know if he can swing the vote. Though I'm sure he won't mind the car or the 50 grand, I'm hoping Dr. Will works some magic for him in the jury house - and that Mike delivers a beatiful speech to ask for that money. I saw Janelle on the EARLY SHOW this morning on CBS and she was saying that she loves Will - I can't believe she got this far only to get sent home by Mike and Erica. I also think that Erica might kill Mike after she gets out of the house and watches the tapes.
Grade: A +

WEEDS (SHOWTIME)
Loving the new season - and really liked the little twist at the end of the latest episode - but would he really marry her so soon? Just to get laid?
Grade: B

HOUSE (SEASON PREMIERE) (FOX)
A monster season premiere with a truly mind fucker of a melancholy ending. Awesome. I wonder if House will go back to the cane - but something like that usually doesn't work on tv - yet it worked beatifuly last night.
Grade: A

THE WIRE (RE-UPP on DEMAND)
If you have COMCAST ON DEMAND, you can watch the first 3 seasons in a 30 minute little wrap up that really preps you for the new season and reminds you who everybody is - although the new season looks like they're starting from scratch, story wise. Thank God.

BIG BROTHER ALL STARS (CBS)
Goodbye, and Bravo, Dr. Will. You and Boogie took us on an amazing ride this summer and you might be the best reality show contestant ever. What you and Boogie did is nothing short of phenomenal - and I'm waiting to see who wins this thing. But here was the big problem - for a while - I thought that if you or Boogie DID NOT win the HOH, then you probably would have won - however, re-thinking this strategy - even if Erica would've won - or Janelle - they would've talked, realized they were being played and sent you or boogie home - the only difference is who went home first - but still - it is a crap shoot - and you gave it your all and got very damned close to the end. Boogie's head was going to explode there for a minute towards the end - and you must say - as a gamer, you have to appreciate what the girls did.

I will be interviewing both Dr. Will and Mike Boogie after the dust settles for this blog - so stay tuned.

EXTRAS (HBO)
Me and the girl just watched the ep where this bald, annoying man gets Ricky Gervais a line on a film and then wants a dinner with him, which Ricky is reticent to go to. It reminded me of the SEINFELD when Jerry gets a jacket and then must take out that comic. But this was very funny and I believe we only have 2 left after this. When Andy was standing in front of the grave and going along with this lie that the diseased was his mother - and that she had him when she was 62 - priceless. Even better - when Andy asks his lady friend - "who would you rather have home waiting for you - Johnny Depp or OJ Simpson." When his friend said "Depp", Andy accused her of being racist. She pointed out the murders and he replied "The man's been acquitted - racist."
Grade: B

EXTRAS (HBO)
The Season Finale'. Like THE OFFICE, the last episode in this first series goes a bit for the heart, as Andy finally gets somewhere with his script, courtesy of a fantasticly funny Patrick Stuart - and his homophobia almost screws the entire thing up. Another reminder of SEINFELD, as the comedy Andy is pitching seems to be a sitcom version of THE OFFICE BBC. Can't wait for the new season to begin.
Grade: B +

KETTLE CLASSICS, who make that oil-ladden potato chip, has just released a fat free version - BAKED CLASSICS - this is the best low-fat chip on the market! One bag is 90 calories - da bomb!

Also in your local freezer, HEALTHY CHOICE has a new low-fat ice cream sandwich made of caramel and vanilla - my grade: I ate all of them.

These 2 products represent the best low fat desserts going right now - I recommend and encourage all readers of this blog to let me know about any other low fat delight - as I'm trying to lose 15 pounds. And I pretty much love all of the Weight Watchers frozen treats - just God Forbid - don't mention exercise.

I'm really excited about the new Elton John CD, THE CAPTAIN & THE KID - a sequel of sorts to 1975's CAPTAIN FANTASTIC. I heard him do the new single on THE EARLY SHOW and it sounds like a return to classic Elton.

NIP/TUCK RETURNS!!!!! And Morgan Spurlock goes to Jail!

NIP/TUCK (Season Premier) (FX)
It's funny - I thought I was kind of done with this show after the CARVER storyline finished, not because I didn't enjoy it, but because the show had gone so dementedly off track I didn't think it could recover. And here it is - and it has. A lovely season opener full of flesh, humor, drama - and focusing on the relationships (though MATT was MIA - probably to make room for all the guest stars.) The stars? Usually that spells trouble - but this was not the case - Larry Hagman was great, his wife fetching. Kathleen Turner was perfect - and BREE WALKER??!!?!?!? - Who knew she had a guest spot in her? A few comments - she looks amazing considering the fact that she MUST be at least 52 - AMAZING. Biggest question of the night - what the fuck did Bree do to her lips???? They were as plump as a watermelon? And for who - square headed Jim Lampley???? I think Bree needs to get a show of her own - in the meantime, I like that Nip/Tuck has undergone some very nice mending and thought this season has started completely promising.
Grade: A

THE OFFICE (NBC)
Watched a trio of eps last night - they're funny. Dwight's over the top, and the show itself tries just a bit too hard - but I can't say I'm not compelled.
B +

IN HER SHOES (HBO)
Couldn't get past 15 minutes - and Lord, I tried. Use as a sleep aid - it's better than Ambien.

WEEDS (SHOWTIME)
Season 2 premiere - with ELVIS COSTELLO singing "Little Boxes!" I love Elvis - he's in my permanent top 5 (the list goes like this - Springsteen, Billy Joel, Elton John, Elvis Costello, Meatloaf, The Eels, Elliot Smith, McCartney, Dr. Dre, Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Mike Penn, Flaming Lips, Simon & Garfunkle, C,S,N & Y, Nirvana, wait - that's for another article.)

Anyway - the 2nd season got off to a great start and looks to get deeper into the characters skin. My girl doesn't like the idea of guest stars singing the theme as she adores the original - but I think it's kind of cool. I don't believe a word of what goes on this show - but I like it nonetheless.
Grade: B +

PRIMETIME LIVE: LAST DAYS ON EARTH (ABC)
A great special on the 7 big disasters that could kill life on earth as we know it. Some of these things could set us back 200 years - my favorite was the volcano eruptions - we'd have about a one minute warning we're about to be forever preserved in ash. The most likely disaster: global warming/climate change. After you're all dead, remember you read it here first.

MOTHER'S DAY (DVD)
Finished this 1980 classic - the girlfriend ended up getting really caught up in it and got scared quite a few times. Although I still kind of hate the nihilistic ending - although that was the trend back then.
Grade: A +

SNL: With JACK BLACK & Neil Young (NBC)
An above-average episode with a better then average laughs ration, this was the episode that intro'd LAZY SUNDAY - the last time Andy Samberg was ever funny. There was a Debbie Downer sketch, a great poke at the Sbarro's in NY, and Jack Black was funny with his KING KONG song. There was even a great XMAS TIME FOR THE JEWS sketch written for TV FUNHOUSE. I heard that the following people will be fired for the new season - first of all, Tina Fey and Rachel Dracht will be off the show, working on 30 ROCK - and as far as I'm concerned - those are two people the show sorely needs. Ironically, the word is that Seth Myers will take over as head writer - a man who hasn't been funny in his entire 8 year tenure on the show. The word is that the people getting walking papers are Finese (thank god - never funny EVER) - Horatio Sanz (I'm actually a fan - particularly of his CAROL sketch) - Will Parnell - one of my favorites (He was one half of the bloater brothers) and I'm not sure who the 4th to go is - but my vote is for Daryl Hammond - who seems to be there about 4 years too long. Anyway - this episode from last xmas was a major winner.
Grade: B +

THE BANG BANG CLUB: THE KILLING OF RICHARD (MAX)
This was a great 1/2 hour docu on this particular group of photogrophers in the "bang-bang club" - a group known for their brazen picture taking during the fall of Apartheid. At the center of this group was a photog who actually won a Pulitzer prize for his truly heartbreaking picture of a young toddler girl - maybe 4, starving to death in the dessert and being stalked by a vulture. After the pix were published, a lot of animosity fell towards the photog for not helping the girl - although there was an explanation that after the pic the vulture was chased away - but it sounded kind of made up. The reality of it is that when you're shooting during troubled times, more often then not you're surrounded by men with guns and it's not exactly like you can do that much. But the pictures are haunting, and the guy who shot them killed himself 2 weeks later.
Grade: A

TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY: CHARLES IN CHARGE (E!)
The title says it all - it's fun to look back on this 80s syndicated hit, a show which I really got into - but it mostly follows the story of the actors. There are worse ways to spend an hour.
Grade: C +

TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY: AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL (E!)
A really good 90 minute docu on the various seasons and personalities of the show, with actual clips from the show and interviews with many of the girls and production team (but no Tyra.) If you're a fan of the show as I - this is a killer edition of THS.
B +

THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN (DVD- UNRATED)
My girl wanted to see this and I had forgotten how outragously funny this film is - the unedited version is even better and raunchier, and the disc has TONS of great extras that really add to experience. Best of all is the cast - From Steve Carrel to Paul Rudd and everyone in between - one of the best cast comedies in years. And raunchiest.
Grade: A +

WEEDS (SHOWTIME)
Just finished the 1st season finale - the show continues to get better and better and the first season is a winner. I never truly feel for any of these characters - and that's what's keeping it from the A it might deserve in it's second season - which I'll start watching soon.
Grade: B +

THE WILD PARROTS OF TELEGRAPH HILL (DVD)
A great docu on the flocks of parrots in San Francisco and the man who took care of them for a number of years. It's a one-of-a-kind thing, with a great surprise ending and it's strange how caught up you get in this world of parrots, a truly regal and fascinating bird - but this is no NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC - this is more of an everyman's journey and he turned to the birds. There is a great update on the flock in the extras, as well as some weird tributes to some of the birds featured in the film.
Grade: B

30 DAYS (FX - Morgan goes to jail)
A very grim, season ender as the star and creator of the show subjects himself to 30 days in a low security prison, yet still sees and reports enough to depress any thinking man and really make you wonder why we're not re-habbing some of these prisoners. The shocking thing is how bad these guys hate jail - yet continually come back because it's all they know and the prisons don't normally have support systems in place to help them for their eventual return to society. Very depressing and very good filmaking from (I think) one of our best modern voices to come along since Michael Moore.
A -

Flava Flav!!

HOUSE OF WAX (MAX)

It takes 50 minutes for the first murder, the acting - even Paris Hilton, playing a knocked up girl with a black boyfriend - is just okay - and I didn't even understand who the villain was. On the other hand, the girl loved it and shrieked and screamed - so there you go.

My grade: D

Jess' grade: C +

UNAUTHORIZED DIFFERENT STROKES STORY (NBC)

Laughable re-imagining of the STROKES story - the actors looked nothing like the characters nor were there any great new insights. But - since STROKES is a big part of my childhood - it was interesting to me. If completely uninspired. I think these things need to go to HBO or SHOWTIME, where they can get real and raunchy. We got the idea that Todd Bridges was sleeping with Dana Plato - but all they could do was suggest it. They robbed us of a Kimberly/Willis sex scene!

Grade: C

VANISHED (FOX)

Check out this completely nifty new thriller from former CSI scribe JOSH BERMAN. Gale Harrold (Queer as Folk) hits the jackpot as the investigator and this is lighting-fast serialized storytelling - with as many surprises as their is casting delights. The top notch pilot was directed by Mimi Leder, and the whole enterprise is a great new addition to the FOX lineup. Just keep your eyes peeled, because this moves like a whip.

Grade: A +

THE VIEW (ROSIE - ABC)

Rosie joins the view, is really full of herself - I think sees herself as something other then what she always was - a mediocre entertainer whose neighborhood Italian schtick ran it's course years ago. Still - the show seems perked up by Rosie's arrival and it's not too fair to judge based on the first day - so I'll be watching. When I have nothing else better to do. Which is often.

Grade: B -

TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY: AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL (E!)A great retrospective if you like this show - and very revealing about many of the moments from the show. Also - LOTS of clips, and lots of up to date interviews with the contestants. If you're a fan of the show, watch this very lively docu. THS is getting it right, lately.

Grade: A -

TYRA: ANTM REUNION (?)

Wow - you'd think Tyra would've outdone TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY, but she only invites some former contestants on to kiss her ass - and absolutely nothing is revealed but Tyra's fake smile. A major loser, especially on the heels of the THS.

GRADE: D -

FLAVA OF LOVE 2 (VH1)Da bomb. I won't reveal a thing about the premier, but trust me - something is stinkin' in the House O' Flav. Better yet, there's a white girl with the best ghetto accent ever uttered - best line thus far: "Who is da snitch up in this bitch?"

Grade: A

AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH (IN THEATRES)

Al Gore - movie star? Well, this movie is a tad slow and sluggish, but it's not a Summer Tentpole film. This is an excellent docu regarding global warming, also known as climate change. Basically, we're putting so much Co2 into the ozone that it's not letting the warmth of the sun bounce back out - therefore, melting icecaps and changing the seasons and doing a host of all kinds of horrible things. It's up to US to turn this around! I'll jump off the bridge now.
Grade: A -

THE NEW BLOG SITE!!!

I have no idea why I can't access
my old site, so I thought I'd update the look a bit - as usual, the comments
board is open to anonymous postings, and I look forward to the new site. Please
let me know if the new look is better or worse then the old
layout.

MOTHER'S DAY (DVD)
Wow - watched the first half with my girl. When this film came out - I lived in Brooklyn and found it terrifying and funny - my girl found it mostly funny - but this was a special movie in the sense that it was an unofficial "trauma" film from that team - yet it aspired to be a cut above the average slasher film - and I'm a huge fan. The DVD has tons of extras - although it's a full screen version - that sucked - but it still looked great. GREAT commentary but would've loved to see a docu with all the stars from this early 80s masterpiece of brutality and torture. A word of warning - it is quite graphic and foul, so be prepared for a very un-PC experience. Also - a very unique and one of a kind horror classic.
A +

KYLE XY (ABC FAM)
Just finished the season finale - what a great show. Matt Dallas is perfection as the boy with no belly button and this show takes the familial relationships seriously - and gets them pinpoint right. A bit of sci-fi genre doesn't slow down anything, only picks up the pace of one of the most potent new shows on the roster. I love it.
A +

BIG BROTHER ALL STARS (CBS)
What Dr. Will and Mike Boogie are doing is nothing short of revolutionary - and the amount of manipulation on this show has reached epic proportions. The best season since season 2.
A +

EXTRAS (HBO)
What can I say - I'm loving a lot of shows this week. While there will NEVER be another OFFICE BBC, this show is terrific and Ricky Gervais is great as an extra looking for a better part. The eps were a bit uneven, but this is first rate show destined for greatness.
A -

2 FOR THE MONEY (HBO)
Figured I would watch the first 10 minutes and got completely sucked into the entire film about Al Pacino taking Mathew Mcconehy (WITH SHIRT!) into the sports betting/advising biz. Solid performances and a weird ending - the first half is much better - but it's a fun ride and you don't have to think too much. Jeremy Piven is fine in another "Ari" type roll with less hubris.
B -

MICHAEL JACKSON: NUMBER ONES (DVD)
Amazing - it's so easy to forget just how huge and genuinely talented this suspected pedophile can be. While I personally don't believe he fondled, I do think he's a major head case and his nuttiness overcame his music, which also got kind of generic the more he went on - but these great early videos and a few laters ones - rock the house. And before he mangled his entire face - Jackson was kind of the bomb in his day.
B +

BILLY JOEL: A MATTER OF TRUST (DOCU ON TRIP TO RUSSIA - DVD)
I don't know why this isn't out as a DVD - but you can still order it on AMAZON as a VHS tape. It's well worth it - a skinny and healthy Billy Joel documents his trip to Russia with the wife (the always sunny Christie Brinkley) and his too cute daughter, Alexis. Great music, great scenes of Billy interacting with the Russians - this is better then Rocky 4!
A +

MADONNA: I"M GOING TO TELL YOU A SECRET (cd/DVD)
With her latest CD, CONFESSIONS ON A DANCE FLOOR, Madonna stuck in a DVD docu of her latest tour - though only half has music - the other half concerns Madonna and her dancers. This was really fun - though not on the same great line as TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCE - but for fans, like my girlfriend who was riveted - this is a pretty great package. To a fair weather fan like myself:
Grade: B - (Not enough real moments - only stuff to appeal to Madonna's ego.)

WEEDS (SHOWTIME)
Still on Season 1 - and the show continues to get better and better.
Grade: B +

PAUL MCCARTNEY: BACK IN THE USA (DVD)
Great show, great sound, great set list - tons of extras - best moment - when Paul sings LONG AND WINDING ROAD and his crew holds up hearts of how much they love Paul - which makes Mr. Mccartney weep during his song. It's a great moment in a GREAT show.
Grade: A

THE JANICE DICKINSON AGENCY (SEASON 1 FINALE)
Ho hum. I think I might be over this one - more of the same.
Grade: C

THE EMMYS
Conan made me laugh for the first time in 15 years (his "Trouble" was the highlight of the show) and the offbeat emmy choices made for fun guessing games. I think Jimmy Kimmel should be tapped next year - best moment: Dick Clark. God bless him.
B -

Whoever doesn't love the trailer for ROCKY BALBOA is a fucking liar.

THE OFFICE (BBC - DVDE OFFICE THE OFFTHETHE OFFICE (BBC) (DVD)
Okay - last plug but when I see something I love this much I have to make sure anyone reading this makes sure they see it. Forget about the NBC version - which is great and funny - but the original 14 episode cycle (two 6 episode seasons and a concluding 2 parter) initially goes for the funny bone and then goes for the heart. One of the very best things I've seen on television in the last few years - this show goes up with HILL ST BLUES, WISEGUY, SEINFELD, SOPRANOS and even THE HONEYMOONERS - it offers a different experience then you've had with a show before - I just really can't say enough about it - Ricky Gervais plays a boss in this mockumentary of a small office populated by very real characters and hits such a home run that tv is forever changed and has a new benchmark. I hate overhyping stuff but if I tell you to see one thing all year - it's this 5 year old series that blew me away. I had the girl watch all the episodes and getting to relive all of them and the momentum that builds in this very small, subtle world was nothing less then spine tingling. One of the very, very best - but you must watch it in order and you must finish with the 2 part special - and the extras are unusually good. And the unknown actors are just brilliant and everything about this show is just so different from the typical sitcom that if you don't rent or buy all of these dvds, I'm not allowing you to read my blog anymore.

Ok - I will shut up about THE OFFICE BBC now.
A +

INSIDE MAN (DVD - SPIKE LEE HEIST MOVIE)
Crackerjack thriller - who directed this? Impossible!
C +

TRANSAMERICA (DVD)
Very good film with Felicity Huffman in an award worthy performance as a guy who wants to rid himself of his penis, but first must come to grips with the son he never knew he had. Lots of twists and an emotional journey in this road trip movie that dares not to preach.
Grade: B

30 DAYS (FX - THE NEW AGE EPISODE)
Good stuff - great subject - great casting.
Grade: A

FANTASIA:HER LIFE STORY (LIFETIME)
The worst.
Grade: D

INSIDE MAN (DVD)
(sometimes I accidentily review a film twice - and like to leave it in to see what I was thinking on that other day - enjoy.
A crackerjack thriller with waves of intrigue and good performances - the biggest surprise: that this DOG DAY AFTERNOON inspired thriller was helmed by none other then SPIKE LEE, who I thought had forgotten how to make good films. It still suffers from some of his film school-isms, but it's well worth the ride.
Grade: C +


MR. & MS. SMITH (HBO)
Well made enough, I suppose - just something about Brad Pitt playing middle aged. He seems to have this freakishly young face, and this...blatant imaturity about him that it's just really hard to buy him as anything - especially him and the ever-beaming Jolie as two would be assassins. This was a waste of time and a lot of money.
Grade: D

WHEN THE LEVEES BROKE: A REQUIEN (KATRINA STORY - HBO)
Just finished the first part - amazing. Spike Lee might be on a roll.
A

THE RON CLARK STORY (TNT)
Sappy, manipulative, - and yes, I wept like a baby. Who knew Chandler could pull tears out of me?
B

ENTRORAUGE (HBO - SEASON FINALE)
Loved the final episode where Ari gets his. Harrowing and nail biting - this is the show at it's best and a nice cap to a fairly middling season.

Grade:B +

(and the end for a few months of my mangling the spelling of Enterouge)

DEADWOOD (SEASON FINALE - HBO)
Dark. Moody. And we get reminded of just who Al Swearingon is. Can't wait for the 4 hour mini that will close this instant classic show. I'd start talking about performances - but everybody is great on this show. Jane - a bit too over the top for me. And the theatre guy is great in his scenes with Hearst and Al, though all things regarding the theatre were a BORE. I think this is a show where the bad guy (Al) really stole the thunder from the good guy (Bullock.) And this season finale provided the most tense showdown - Gerald McRaney was superb as Hearst. I will be anxiously awaiting the wrap up.
A +

LAYER CAKE (HBO)
I watched this heist flick with the new James Bond and couldn't make it through 10 minutes. I was neither shaken nor stirred - but friends tell me it's a good movie. If only I could get through that first 10 minutes...
NO GRADE YET.

CELEBRITY DUETS (FOX)
Ok - no reason for this show to run 2 hours - but it's a fun concept - the only problem - the CELEBS they picked can actually sing. Even coming from musical backgrounds - so - the judges suck - except for Little Richard - who could not be weirder if he tried.

Grade: C