Flava Flav!!

HOUSE OF WAX (MAX)

It takes 50 minutes for the first murder, the acting - even Paris Hilton, playing a knocked up girl with a black boyfriend - is just okay - and I didn't even understand who the villain was. On the other hand, the girl loved it and shrieked and screamed - so there you go.

My grade: D

Jess' grade: C +

UNAUTHORIZED DIFFERENT STROKES STORY (NBC)

Laughable re-imagining of the STROKES story - the actors looked nothing like the characters nor were there any great new insights. But - since STROKES is a big part of my childhood - it was interesting to me. If completely uninspired. I think these things need to go to HBO or SHOWTIME, where they can get real and raunchy. We got the idea that Todd Bridges was sleeping with Dana Plato - but all they could do was suggest it. They robbed us of a Kimberly/Willis sex scene!

Grade: C

VANISHED (FOX)

Check out this completely nifty new thriller from former CSI scribe JOSH BERMAN. Gale Harrold (Queer as Folk) hits the jackpot as the investigator and this is lighting-fast serialized storytelling - with as many surprises as their is casting delights. The top notch pilot was directed by Mimi Leder, and the whole enterprise is a great new addition to the FOX lineup. Just keep your eyes peeled, because this moves like a whip.

Grade: A +

THE VIEW (ROSIE - ABC)

Rosie joins the view, is really full of herself - I think sees herself as something other then what she always was - a mediocre entertainer whose neighborhood Italian schtick ran it's course years ago. Still - the show seems perked up by Rosie's arrival and it's not too fair to judge based on the first day - so I'll be watching. When I have nothing else better to do. Which is often.

Grade: B -

TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY: AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL (E!)A great retrospective if you like this show - and very revealing about many of the moments from the show. Also - LOTS of clips, and lots of up to date interviews with the contestants. If you're a fan of the show, watch this very lively docu. THS is getting it right, lately.

Grade: A -

TYRA: ANTM REUNION (?)

Wow - you'd think Tyra would've outdone TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY, but she only invites some former contestants on to kiss her ass - and absolutely nothing is revealed but Tyra's fake smile. A major loser, especially on the heels of the THS.

GRADE: D -

FLAVA OF LOVE 2 (VH1)Da bomb. I won't reveal a thing about the premier, but trust me - something is stinkin' in the House O' Flav. Better yet, there's a white girl with the best ghetto accent ever uttered - best line thus far: "Who is da snitch up in this bitch?"

Grade: A

AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH (IN THEATRES)

Al Gore - movie star? Well, this movie is a tad slow and sluggish, but it's not a Summer Tentpole film. This is an excellent docu regarding global warming, also known as climate change. Basically, we're putting so much Co2 into the ozone that it's not letting the warmth of the sun bounce back out - therefore, melting icecaps and changing the seasons and doing a host of all kinds of horrible things. It's up to US to turn this around! I'll jump off the bridge now.
Grade: A -