NIP/TUCK, WEEDS, DEXTER, INTO THE WILD and HOSTEL II!

Okay, so, the last blog was a bit ambitious with all those fucking links. However, I did have lots of pictures that I was going to put in this post - but for some reason I can't seem to work it that well - so - here is the "unplugged" version if you will - enjoy.

By the way, why does CBS keep hyping the Heather Locklear appearance on RULES OF ENGAGEMENT as if it were the second coming?


NIP/TUCK (FX) (5th season)
Well - they said that the move to LA would be really good for the show and revitalize the whole franchise. And it did! For one full episode! By episode two, the by now expected dramatic retardation had began and by eps 3, 4 & 5, they're already bringing back Julia in a new SHOCKING lesbian relationship!!! They've given Julia a softer haircut, but she still remains....kind of a blank. She's definitely not the sort of dynamo that Portia DiRossi would fall for - at least you'd think. In fact, their whole lesbian love affair is about the phoniest thing in this show about plastic surgery. They don't even resemble a real couple and Julia is as cold a fish as she was in season 1. And their "taboo" relationship?" In this day and age???? Give me a break - this is 2007 and they're treating this lesbian relationship like it was the very first one on tv. And it all revolves around DiRossi's daughter! But between all the Julia stuff, her girlfriend's scheming daughter (we've see a version of this character in every single season.) - the juvenile bullshit between the two leads as to who's really running the best game in town...it's just all so...wretchedly bad. Sean is dating an actress who shit the jacuzzi on ex-lax. I'm sure that was funny in the writer's room - on screen it was worth a chuckle I guess - but really, is this portrayal of a neurotic female tv star so engaging and new? And then more trouble with Matt and Kimber? This is starting to feel like outtakes from last year. But you gotta hand it to them, last year, they refurbished the show and it took about 7 episodes before it slid into bad camp. This year it only took them 4 to completely jump the shark, the rails, and the grand canyon. And Rosie O'Donnel and Oliver Platt? Is this really what passes as "innovative" these days? My God, Rosie is so bad on this show, with the "comical" New Yawk accent - what is this world coming to where people think that this is somehow funny? After the thrilling first episode, it seems like they have gone to every single cliche' ever built about Los Angeles, then dumbed it down by about 100. I think it's time for an intervention here - someone needs to have the strength to simply put the bullet into the head of this show that it's been begging for ever since THE CARVER storyline wrapped up. Stop the madness! This is truly becoming the most brain-dead hour on television.
Grade: D -(saved from an F for the occasional outrageous scene.)


DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
What happened, Dex? Season 1 was about the coolest thing on TV. The murders were horrifying, Dexter was unique, scary, dynamic - season 1 was so very good it made you forget it sported some of the worst acting on tv (the sister, the captain, the captain's captain, Dokes, etc.) - Season 2, which should have been superb, based on the fact that they really came up with a fantastic storyline where they find all of Dexter's bodies - but instead of a pulse pounding energy, we get this very lazily played chess game with Dexter slowly going through the motions as if this was the 8Th season. The sister's acting is worse then ever, and this bullshit about Dexter being on Heroin is really kind of dumb. I hope this show gets better, but for season 2, this is not very impressive. Season 2 is supposed to deepen the pool, not make it more shallow. Still, the tone is still right on the money and it is more interesting then other dramas currently on the air, so I'm hanging in there.
Grade: B -

WEEDS (SHOWTIME)
Finally, a show that goes into different territory for their third season. WEEDS seems to reinvent itself on some level every year, and this season was no different, with the actions and consequences of what these characters are up to finally coming to a very nasty head. Mary Louise Parker is frighteningly good and real in this role, and truly makes this whole thing work. Kevin Nealon is funnier then ever this year, they found a great way to bring Celia into the action, U-Turn was great this year, the romance between Nancy and Conrad is one I've always found compelling, and despite Nancy's low standards this year in choosing who to sleep with, I've always thought she should end up with Conrad. Hunter Parish as Nancy's son Silas has really developed as a character as well - though, I'm sad to report, the addition of Mary Kate Olsen in the role of the Church-loving weed slinging new girlfriend of Silas is more a step in the right direction for Mary Kate's career rather then a good direction for this show. When I heard about it, I thought it was interesting casting and I would love to see if Mary Kate, after all those tabloid years, can really act - and the answer is - she can - but not very compellingly and she didn't really offer much in this series. She reminds me of a beginning actor who just got her first job but wasn't really able to do much with it - even though it was a great role and I can only imagine what a better actress would've done with it. But I'm quibbling, this was a great, funny and very scary season and as usual - they had a scorched earth ending that doesn't leave the show much room to go - yet something tells me that WEEDS will find a way - it always does. Like real weeds themselves, this show always seems to get into areas you never thought you'd find it - and a special thanks for treating us to some Lexington Steele this year!
Grade: A


MR. BROOKS (DVD)
This was really good, though there appeared to be two simultaneous movies going on at the same time. Mr. Brooks, Kevin Costner, is the MAN OF THE YEAR (in a very tired, exhausted movie cliche at the beginning when he accepts his award - these "MAN OF THE YEAR" ceremonies are almost now a dead give a way that something is horribly wrong with the person receiving the award. Nonetheless, Costner is excellent at the man "addicted to murder" - no spoilers, this happens in the first 3 minutes of the film. Dane Cook, the world's very worst and most pathetic comic maybe ever, turns up as an overactor (Yup, he stink in comedy and he's pretty awful in drama) - yet, Cook does his very best ever here in this role, which, is not saying much. Still, he is not distracting enough to kill the movie. William Hurt plays Costner's devil on his shoulder, talking to him about the killings in imaginary conversations. And the newly minted mouth of Demi Moore (Have you seen her refurbished choppers? They're ready to take a bite out of a Sycamore tree) - stars here as a LIFETIME style of TV COP slowly trying to uncover the murder - and once again, even though she kind of sucks, the story is so intriguing that you get pulled in regardless. It also gets confusing when Mr. Brooks starts crossing his storyline with Demi Moore's weirdo divorce storyline. I'm not going to reveal specific plot points, but as much as this film has going against it, what it has going for it is a terrific perf. from Costner and Hurt, and a truly interesting screenplay. Recommended.
Grade: B -

INTO THE WILD (In Theatres - Rated R)
Written and directed by Sean Penn, in what is probably the best film he's ever made, this follows the true life story of a privileged young man (Emille Hirsh - almost always great) who decides to give his college fund away and go live in the wild. While we get bits of info on how his home life was riddled with hypocrisy and minor violence - both emotional and physical- we never really get exactly why this young man has decided to embark upon a journey to Alaska to live among the wild. I remember hearing about this kid when I was younger and there was - at the time - a big deal made out of the fact that he spent 9 weeks in an abandoned bus in Alaska and the fact that he kept a journal that represented the lunacy he was entering into. I remember at the time his biggest regret is that he killed a moose, and even though it's not portrayed in the film, this moose was his friend in the wilderness, he finally killed it for food, then completely botched eating it as maggots and creatures got ahold of the moose before he could eat it - and he truly regretted killing his friend and it haunted him for the rest of the days. While that sequence isn't given that kind of weight in the film, it's here, along with a host of other great characters he runs into on his journey into the wild. I guess my biggest problem with the film - which is truly shot in luminous and 70s style widescreen - it's a GREAT looking film, although i didn't really get the Eddie Vedder soundtrack, frankly - was that we never truly got into the kid's head. It ultimately seemed that he just wanted to be a guy on this romantic journey of being alone in the woods - but it felt....a little weak. I think a bit more into his psychic pain might have made this journey a bit more meaningful - still, pretty good stuff.
Grade: B


I LOVE NY 2 (VH1)
I just saw the ep where the Taylor-Made basically fought with everyone - fantastic.I watched a few more, including watching NEW YORK take that moron with her to the NIP/TUCK set, get farted on by her suitor (hilarious) and then get fawned over by NIP/TUCK creator RYAN MURPHY - and the scenes they filmed with Tiffany look like further evidence that I LOVE NY is probably more realistic then NIP/TUCK at this point. Maybe Ryan should not have looked so supremely satisfied with himself.
Grade: B -


SCARLETT DIVA (DVD)
This was made and directed by Asia Argento - the Italian sexpot who is the daughter of DARIO ARGENTO - a horror film maven from Italy who handled editing the Italian release/version of DAWN OF THE DEAD. In fact, Asia has a major role in the DAWN remake. All that aside - I had heard this film had tons of nudity and graphic sex - untrue. It's just a trippy little film about the plight of an actress who sleeps with almost everyone in her path, and it's not particularly compelling.
Grade: C -


EAGLES NEW CD AGAIN (WALMART)
I know I've already reviewed this, but really - WAITING IN THE WEEDS and LONG ROAD OUT OF EDEN are already instant EAGLES classics - download them at once.

REM "LIVE" (Double CD and DVD)
I'm a big fan of REM - but they haven't made a relevant CD in years and years. This double live set resurrects some of the high points of the last 2 decades, but comes too late and with too many half-baked late 90s songs. I haven't seen the dvd of this show yet, but it's all just sort of expertly recorded REM mediocrity.
Grade: C -


DAMAGES (FX)
I recently watched all 13 eps of this in the span of a week. Completely addicting - Danson and Close are revelations - particularly Danson. Close is doing sort of a variation of her FATAL ATTRACTION bitch with more finesse. I can't stand the actress who plays the new young attorney, nor can I remember her name, but thought she went from "innocent" to "hardened" in a unrealistic amount of time and the actor herself was quite unconvincing in her more "dangerous" personal. With the exception of a terrible final 5 minutes of the finale', this twisty legal thriller was a great example of off-network television at its very wicked best. I just heard they were renewed for 2 more seasons - this is a good thing.
GRADE: A -


PRISON BREAK (FOX)
Okay, I'm pissed - TIVO broke down and erased my whole PRISON BREAK block. JOE H. - I know you read this blog - please get me the dvds of the eps I missed (I only got to see the first 2 eps of the season.) I'm serious - this is one of my very favorite shows and I missed all but the first 2 eps - if someone has all these - including JOE H. - please contact me and get them to me?

HOGAN FAMILY (VH1)
"Brooke Breaks The Bank"
The most over-produced reality show of all time keeps getting more scripted. Soon they should ADD laugh track. Still, The Hulk is never less than compelling. Even when he is just following instructions from the producers.
Grade: C -
UPDATE: Just heard about the Hogan's upcoming divorce - I wonder if they'll continue to follow Hulk on his solo journey.



MAD MEN
The best show on tv. Period. If you're not watching it, you should be. If you are watching it, you should be ordering the soon to come 1st season dvd set. This is a ultra-cool show about advertising agents in the 60s, written and conceived by brilliant SOPRANOS scribe Mathew Weiner - this is a show that brings back subtlety, yet within these small moments, entire continents crash and burn. The most searing, original show since THE SOPRANOS. With maybe the best office boss, EVER.
Grade: A +


CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM (HBO)
Started weak, then got strong (the freak book ep was priceless), then they got into this thing with Cheryl leaving Larry - which was interesting. Then he made a wretched creative decision about the "choosing" of marital sides - I don't know. I watch, but I don't always like.
Grade: B -
UPDATE:
I just watched the season finale and found it to be near perfect. I'm dying to know if they go in that direction for next year.
FINALE GRADE: A


TELL ME YOU LOVE ME (HBO)
I kind of like this show - though it was never as sexually explicit as it was in the pilot. The characters represent a sort of "generations" of sexual couplings - I really like some of the acting although the sex scenes always feel a little strange to me for some reason. There is a 70s like earnestness to this show - at least in the initial batch of eps - and the "young woman" on the show seems to be doing a realy bad Sarah Silverman impression. That said - there is much to recommend about this show - and the universal truth of it is that marriage truly can be an illusion, and this relationship show really needs to up the ante in their next 6 episodes if they want to create an illusion as well.
Still on the fence, but at the moment:
Grade: C +


KNOCKED UP (DVD - unrated version)
I'm sure you've all seen it - I recommend the unrated version just because it's a tad bit dirtier, but this is a great, hilarious, touching film that nobody should miss because it's one of the very best of the year. That said, the double-disc version has TONS of extras. Highly recommended.
Grade: A +

THE STREET (DVD - BBC)
A fantastic BBC show that I just started watching. It's about the entanglements and lives of the people who live on this particular street in London, and the acting is realistic and the storytelling stellar, though I've only seen the first 2 (I think out of 9.)
Grade: B


America's Next Top Model (The CW)
I actually took this season off my DVR. It was just that....generic.


RULES OF ENGAGEMENT (CBS)
More of the same, but like last year, I liked it.
Grade: C +


LIFE (NBC)
Really cool, really quirky and really well executed. If you're looking for a real twist in the police procedural, look no further than this whip-smart procedural. And remember the girl who Tony Soprano partied with in Las Vegas this season - she's here as the lead detective (Sarah Sashi.) And Damion Lewis is perfection as the cop with the mysterious past. Seriously - this is different. Watch it.
Grade: A

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN - MAGIC
Bruce's first E STREET CD in a few years, this is not the sprawling amost-epic that THE RISING was. That said, this is a fun, hard rockin' BORN IN THE USA style album. RADIO NOWHERE is one of Bruce's catchiest tunes in years. Many of the songs sound a bit like updates of classic Bruce tunes. YOU'LL BE COMING DOWN sounds like another Bruce song I can't put my finger on. LIVING IN THE FUTURE sounds like a cross between 10th AVE FREEZE OUT and GLORY DAYS. I prefer the originals. YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY sounds like a wall of sound that could've fit on BORN TO RUN - although the lyrics are somewhat trite. GIRLS IN THEIR SUMMER CLOTHES arrives like a instant Springsteen classic, and succeeds wildly where WAITIN' ON A SUNNY DAY sort of failed. I'LL WORK FOR YOUR LOVE opens with some classic Springsteen piano - but ultimately doesn't really go anywhere. MAGIC is original, quiet and really cool. Maybe the best track on the CD. LAST TO DIE is war-themed song that work really well due to Bruce's impassioned vocals. LONG WALK HOME is cool, if forgettable. I liked DEVIL'S ARCADE a lot. TERRY'S SONG - Bruce's tribute to his fallen asst. Terry of 25 years is sort of beautiful - and there it is. The nice thing is that there is a great variety if no real theme here, the band sounds great, but the mix itself is unforgivably muddy. More often than not, the band sounds louder than Bruce. Still, going on 30 years, Bruce still kicks out these interesting records. I just wish it were as great as his ambition.
Grade: B -


Been really getting into PINK FLOYD lately - I've always loved THE WALL, DARK SIDE and THE FINAL CUT. Recently I started listening to ANIMALS and WISH YOU WERE HERE. ANIMALS is great, but WISH YOU WERE HERE is a masterpiece. As for live Floyd, you can't go wrong with the DVD of the Roger Waters' show IN THE FLESH. But you might be better off with the later incarnation of Floyd without Waters - the David Gilmour dvd of PULSE is fantastic. He does pretty much everything - and let's face it - Waters might be the mastermind behind Floyd, but it's Gilmour's guitar work and voice that has always been the signature sound of Floyd.
DARK SIDE OF THE MOON - A + *if you have a 5.1 system you MUST get the 5.1 mix dvd.
WISH YOU WERE HERE - A (Did we really need the SHINE ON reprise?)
ANIMALS - B (not as lofty as the above, but pretty great in it's own right.)
THE WALL - A + (Comfortably Numb might be there greatest moment, ever.)
THE FINAL CUT - B + (a most overlooked cd, the last waters/Gilmour collaboration and mostly sounding like a Waters solo work, but still pretty great.)

PINK FLOYD ON DVD
ROGER WATERS - IN THE FLESH? - A
PINK FLOYD - PULSE - A +


ALIENS IN AMERICAN (THE CW)
I've only seen the pilot, but can say this is easily the funniest show on the CW since MAYBE IT'S ME. The lead actor with his sad-sack voice over is truly hilarious, and the vibe of the show is off kilter enough that it draws you right in to the story of a high schooler who must take in a Pakistani foreign exchange student.
Grade: A

dirty sexy money (ABC)
WAY better than I had figured - this might be one of the best new shows of the season. Peter Krause is great as is just about everyone in this deliciously take on the rich, the righteous and the have-nots.
Grade: B


HOUSE, MD (FOX)
Thought the season premier was good but think that ep #2 where House starts to decide who to pick for his new diagnosis team was kind of great. I'm behind on this show by about 4 eps, so I'll do more in a future blog.
Grade: A


ROCK OF LOVE FINALE
I loved this whole show - I LOVED Rodeo, Brandy C. and Brandy M. (both can be seen in online porn as dirty as anything you've ever seen) and I thought Shannon was very pretty, very insane, and VERY entertaining. I loved Heather's 80s porno hair and her Bride Of Frankenstein makeup (made even funnier by the fact that every time Heather was scene sans makeup, she was kind of beautiful. But in the end, I think Mr. Michaels made exactly the right choice. But what is Heather going to do with that tatoo?
GRADE: B +
UPDATE:
I watched the reunion special. So the cool Jen chick he picked turned out to be there for publicity and somehow came off as the fakest one in the pack - amazing. And Heather, who has now ruined her appearance with a medley of completely unnessary bad plastic surgery (all she needed to do was wash away the bad 80s makeup and redesign the porno hairstyle - she was a beautiful girl) is poised to go out with Brett? But will he still want her now that she's had more surgery then Liza Minilli?



The Sad Case of PEREZ HILTON and BRITTNY SPEARS.
I personally think Perez is obsessed with Brit. When he shows Brittny just sitting in her car being surrounded by the flashbulbs of the paparazzi (ie, scumbags) which to me resemble a swarm of flies descending on this confused but human young woman, Perez, whose site I must admit I read daily - but when he sits there kissing the ass of Paris and Angela Jolie and he tells Britt that she must "Stay Home!" - I wonder who the fuck Hilton thinks he is. Not that he's not entertaining, I just think he's an asshole. And his tv show, as bloodless as his blog is blood thirsty. Just Perez kissing the ass of every celeb he could possibly find. I'm thinking TMZ tv does it a bit better - though not by much. But on my original point, Perez seems to be absolutely obsessed with Britt long after our obsession has died down. What's wrong with this guy? Clearly, he has a massive talent as far as cobbling these stories together, but this seems to be just a mean-spirited vendetta against a really wayward confused young lady. BY the way, is it even possible to drive with 2000 paparazzi surrounding your car and the bulbs going off and NOT running over their feet - I defy anyone out there to figure that one out. What about the harrassment of Britney by the Pap?


I still miss THE SOPRANOS and thought they were ROBBED at the Emmys in the acting awards, especially for Gandolfini, Edie Falco and Michael Imperiolli. That the moron who plays Janice got nominated - well - Ryan Seacrest was hosting (after a decent monolouge, his uselessness became really apparent.)
James Spader should've been ashamed to take that Emmy home, especially since BOSTON LEGAL stopped being a real show about 3 seasons ago.
UPDATE: BOSTON LEGAS is SLIGHTLY better this year - still ridiculous.


THE SARAH SILVERMAN SHOW (DEBUT)
The way Sarah lamented her abortions to Green Day's "GOOD RIDDANCE" must be seen to be believed. Watch it here:
http://sarahsilverman.comedycentral.com/index.jhtml?c=vc&videoId=103794


HOWARD STERN SHOW
Has been great as ever, but the Dr. Keith Abalow session with Sal and Christine was the show at it's best. And Artie's impression of "emotional friend" is one for the ages.
UPDATE:
On the air, and then on HOWARD TV, I saw the trilogy of shows revolving around one of the shows most epic fights ever between Artie, Sal & Richard. I believe Howard could take two hours out of that conflict and release it as a movie. And it has the best ending ever.

BEST WEEK EVER is really, really funny.


FLIGHT OF THE CHONCORDS (HBO)
I saw the pilot, LOVED IT, for some reason never watched it again.


KITCHEN NIGHTMARES (FOX)
Chef Gordon Ramsey is great tv, unfortunately, they already aired the first few explosive episodes (Gordon once found an infestation of bugs in an Indian resturaunt.) But now the places he's helping aren't that bad off. The worse the resturaunt, the better the show usually is.
Grade: B


THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED (DVD)
Fascinating docu on the ratings board. Reccomended.
Grade: B


ZODIAC (DVD)
Really, really artfully done, well acting, and BORING. Sorry, but at 2 hours and forty five minutes (the director's cut) I never made it all the way to the end.
Grade: ???


DEATH PROOF (DVD)
This was the first half of GRINDHOUSE, which we all know was two movies in one. They stripped away the second movie (Released on its own,) added a disc of extras and gave this film an extra 40 minutes. I have a feeling the film was better with a shorter running time, because it's more a cool idea with some nifty scenes rather than a full fledged film, however, it's a fun ride, it's a Tarantino so that means some juicy dialog, a great lap dance scene (omitted from the original release) and some needless extra filler of some not-so-greatly delivered Q dialoge. On the whole, this is a very worthwhile endeavor. The movie has a fantastic look and feel from the 70s and a GREAT blistering lead performance in Kurt Russel, though he comes off much better in the first half then the very repetitive second half. Killer soundtrack. The extras are mostly about how they filmed the stunts for the film (which were not CGI'd) and some generic behind the scenes stuff. If you're a fan of Quentin, even though this isn't a fully realized film - you gotta see it. Even more importantly, I wish they would eventually release the whole thing on DVD - the two movies, the faux trailers - I mean, they have to, right?
Grade: B+


KID NATION
This bored me too much - I left after the 2nd commercial break. Did I miss anything?

HALLOWEEN (NOT YET ON DVD)
Fairly pointless remake with Rob Zombie (the great, DEVIL'S REJECTS) helming the retelling of this classic story. We get a LOT more of young Michael and how he became a killer, but once the movie shifts to HALLOWEEN night, which is where the majority of the original film took place, it becomes almost a bad shot for shot remake, with Rob not really adding much to what we already know and have seen. Reccomended, but barely. By the way, Rob manages to get in every player from DEVIL'S REJECTS in starring roles and cameos here - sounds like Mr. Zombie is very happy with his little acting troupe. The last guy to do that a lot was George A. Romero.
Grade: B -

THE SHOOTER (DVD)
Coming from Antoin Fuqua, who directed TRAINING DAY (an A) - I expected a lot more than this insanely predictable tale of Marky Mark pretending to be a great sharp shooter. It was needlessly complicated and very boring mixed with utter predictablity.

HOSTEL II (DVD)

ALIENS IN AMERICA (THE CW)
Continues to get funnier and funnier. Now the dad is getting in on the comedy, and he's especially adept at it - this is truly a great show and if you aren't watching it, really - check it out.
Grade: A

FAMILY GUY (FOX)
The episode in which Peter finds out he is an illegal alien was wrenchingly funny.
Grade: B +

THE SARAH SILVERMAN SHOW (COM)
The second season proves as devlish as the first, with Sarah, at this time, being the funniest woman on television. The recent episode in which she did battle on the COOKIE SHOW was masterful in its irreverence. I also loved the ep about her maid being deported and the revelation that Brian is into SPIN DOCTORS (they spoofed the video - hilarious) and that Jay is into "Gentle Comedy."
Grade: A

Speaking of which, I though Jimmy Kimmel killed, as usual, at the American Music Awards, and the current issue of PLAYBOY has a GREAT article on Jimmy, which becomes a bit of a love song to both Jimmy and Sarah, and reveals very much of both. It's one of the best articles I've read about Jimmy and it's highly reccomended.


HOSTEL II (DVD)
A worthy follow up, though not nearly as scary or original as the first, this does continue the mythology and puts enough of a twist on the first movie to have a right to exist. There is a bit too much dumb dialoge, the girls are not really fleshed out, and Eli Roth, as a director, does far worse to Heather Matarazzo then all the bullies did to her as Dawn Weiner in WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE (An "A" movie, by the way.) The extras are really plentiful, and in some ways more entertaining then the film - but - at 90 minutes this is enjoyable enough with some truly inspired moments. When I was a kid I used to watch ANOTHER WORLD which is a now-defunct soap opera on NBC. I doubt anyone reading this remembers, but before Richard Burgi became a USA NETWORK SENSATION in a forgettable drama, he was the evil pimp CHAD in that show - here, he's just as evil.
Grade: B -

That's it for now.
Coming:
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM (new season)
SHOOTER (DVD)
MARGOT AT THE WEDDING (IN THEATRES)
3 10 TO YUMA (DVD SCREENER)

The Digital Couch returns!

CALIFORNICATION (SHOWTIME)
http://television.aol.com/show/californication/1342172/main?flv=1&ncid=yInozwVMCu0000000742&icid=rbox_tv_shows.M
Okay, once you get over the concept that on this show - every single female in the world, straight and bi, wants to fuck David Duchovny, this becomes an enjoyable show that tries very hard to expose the pain and loathing that tags along with sex, drugs and debauchery. They don't quite hit the mark - but get close enough and some of the stories are truly memorable. Duchovny plays Hank Moody, a novelist whose book got turned into a high grossing shitty movie, so he's angry at the world. (Most can only wish for these problems.) Moody still holds a torch for his ex wife who he shares a child with, and some of the sex scenes go pretty far on the outrageous meter. The entire show though, is pretty much stolen from Duchovny by Evan Handler, who plays Hank's agent. Though his storyline seems directly lifted out of SECRETARY, the very good James Spader film, there is something very real about Handler (you might remember him as Charlotte's lawyer boyfriend on SEX AND THE CITY. The apex of the show probably hits when the two ex-wives walk in during a 3 way between Hank, Handler and a very foxy lady who covers Handler's face with a special talent. While all the stuff with Mia (sorry, you have to know the show) and the way that Handler gets his new associate and all the stuff with them and the stolen (supposedly genius book) written by Hank...it's too complicated - needless to say, for a show about Hollywood, it doesn't seem to really have any idea of the way things actually work. And while the conclusion was very satisfying - the last 2 minutes undid much good will towards the show I only hope if this makes it to season 2, that this last minute piss poor plot twist (a very bad GRADUATE homage) was just fantasy. Still - recommended.
Grade: B -


DIRTY SEXY MONEY (ABC)
http://television.aol.com/show/dirty-sexy-money/1342101/main?flv=1&ncid=oyjqUzrKfk0000000465&icid=rbox_tv_shows.M
I haven't seen all of these, (my dvr got wiped a few weeks ago and I lost HOURS of programming) I've really liked what I've seen.
Grade: B


I just heard from THE SURF REPORT that HBO is airing a series finale' of EXTRAS. This is cause of celebration. Now if only they could give a proper ending to DEADWOOD (though I contend the final episode would probably serve as a better finale' than one they would construct), get THE SOPRANOS to do a few more seasons (sorry, there's nothing else like it) and do another season of Lisa Kudrow's ill fated THE COMEBACK....now that would be something.

Speaking of finale's, how outrageous is it that Seinfeld wanted to shoot another final episode of SEINFELD to coincide with the new box set? Jerry - PLEASE do the episode anyway and erase memories of your own season final - the worst in the entire 9 year run. Speaking of which, I've been watching season 4 again on DVD and THE CHEEVER LETTERS might be one of the funniest eps they've ever done. But really, for the sake of humanity, Jerry - give us a proper ending to the greatest comedy of all time! (Along with the Honeymooners and The Office BBC)


THE FLY (DVD - DAVID CRONENBERG REMAKE)
http://www.amazon.com/Fly-Two-Disc-Collectors-Jeff-Goldblum/dp/B0009X768W/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-7085827-8050222?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1194225656&sr=8-1
Fox recently released this 80s classic in a great 2-disc set. While I have not yet gone through the oodles and oodles of extras, the centerpiece remains the story of a man, Jeff Goldblum, a shy scientist who strikes up a very unlikely romance with the adorable reporter Geena Davis. Goldblum has created a machine that can transport entities through time, and I had forgotten how truly spectacular the effects were, the acting of Goldblum (I think he was nominated), and how incredibly sad a story this was. And the writing and direction is truly topnotch, as it mines many of Cronenberg's favorite obsessions. An creepy, dreadful masterpiece and a lesson in efficient storytelling.
Grade: A +


TAXI DRIVER (DVD)
http://www.amazon.com/Taxi-Driver-Two-Disc-Collectors-Robert/dp/B000R8YC18/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-7085827-8050222?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1194226132&sr=1-1
They just did a 2 disc reissue of this, but I just watched the 2 disc reissue I bought a few years ago. What a great, intense and fascinating movie. DeNiro is perfect, as is Jodie Foster and every other element of the film. There is not one false note here, and DeNiro's speed taking, alcohol swigging street avenger is just as powerful now as it was 30 years ago. The bomb. And Scorsesee's first great movie (MEAN STREETS was good - this is great.)
Grade: A +


EAGLES "Long Road Out Of Eden" (CD - first Eagles CD in 23 years!)
http://www.amazon.com/Eagles-Long-Road-Eden-Release/dp/B000XQX6H0/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-7085827-8050222?ie=UTF8&s=miscellaneous&qid=1194226796&sr=1-1
I can't believe as I write this blog, my first in a few months, I'm listening to the first Eagle's CD - I think - in 23 years (The Long Run was I believe released in 79 or something like that.) There are 20 new songs here that barely qualify as a double disc (if they'd ridden themselves of 3 songs, they'd be a single disc.) Actually - "How Long" which sort of sounds like "Take It Easy," is an unrecorded song from the 70s era that sounds exactly like it just came off THE BEST OF THE EAGLES. Frey and Henley's vocals have never sound crisper and the band, including the awesome Joe Walsh, is as tight as ever. They've apparently been working on this for 5 years, and 1 song that appears here "No More Cloudy Days" appeared on 2005's THE FIRST FAREWELL DVD. Another song to be included from that DVD was a great song by Joe Walsh called "One Day At A Time" but somehow didn't make it to this collection. "Cloudy Days" is GREAT by the way with a killer Glen Frey vocal. My friend, Dave D., recently pointed out to me how far these guys had gotten away from greatness - at one point Frey had a minor hit with SMUGGLER'S BLUES and even acted on MIAMI VICE as the smuggler with the blues. Jesus. I also think it's interesting that they are clearly labelled now as "country rock" - somehow I never saw them that way, but between that self promotion of country and the fact that the CD will only be available at Walmart exclusively for the next year (Shame on you, Don Henley - after all your corporate screaming) - this all seems to be part of a financial arrangement to market specifically to the Midwest. This is a shame because the CD is really good and feels like it came right after THE LONG RUN with no seams showing. Maybe a few too many shitty ballads, but mostly this CD rocks hard and makes you remember why you loved The Eagles in the first place. Standouts: "Waiting In The Weeds, No More Cloudy Days, You Are Not Alone, Long Road Out Of Eden (a new 10 minute Eagles masterpiece - well, maybe I need to hear it more to proclaim masterpiece, but it sounds really good, definitely in the vein of "the last resort" and other classics,) I Dreamed There Was No War, Somebody, Last Good Time In Town (a new Joe Walsh/Eagles classic in the vein of Life's Been Good,) Center Of The Universe and It's Your World Now. The Eagles are definitely back, and I think that's a good thing. If they can make their next CD in less time, that'll be a great thing - but still - this is a gift to the true believers.
Grade: B +


MICK JAGGER "BEST OF MICK SOLO" (CD/DVD)
http://www.amazon.com/Very-Best-Mick-Jagger-Dvd/dp/B000V9M0E4/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/103-7085827-8050222?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1194227730&sr=8-2
Good collection, but how's they miss PARADISE and BRAND NEW SET OF RULES? The best 2 solo Mick offerings EVER! And where is STATE OF SHOCK with Michael Jackson? (Just kidding.)
Grade: B


ELTON JOHN AT 60: MADISON SQUARE GARDEN
http://www.amazon.com/Elton-60-Madison-Square-Garden/dp/B000UZD4AS/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/103-7085827-8050222?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1194228203&sr=8-2
One of the best Elton packages ever offered, EVER! This has him at his 60th birthday at Madison Square Garden belting out around 40 songs in perfect pitch, and there's about 24 more archival performances of his. This pretty much covers everything. Even though I will always love the ONE NIGHT ONLY dvd, this will be the one I watch for a while. There are like - 64 songs on here - and all are in stellar versions - the 5.1 mix is superb - this is one of the best Elton dvds ever produced, and Elton sings like a champ. At 60 years old, this fucker is still doing it.
Grade: A +


JOHN FOGERTY "Revival"
Great - kind of sounds like a Clearwater CD. His best collection since CENTERFIELD.
Grade: B


JACKASS 2 (DVD)
http://www.amazon.com/Jackass-Number-Unrated-Willie-Garson/dp/B000JLTRJK/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-7085827-8050222?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1194228661&sr=1-1
I recently re-watched this with some friends and forgot just how profanely funny this is. And I also could not believe that none of these guys have ended up dead yet. But Knoxville and Co. are some inventive, funny mother fuckers. Some of the bits here are off the charts, but for my money, the switcheroo involving Bam's dad and an impostor might be the funniest thing I've seen in ages. But I think the main attraction here is the commoradirty between the guys - their good naturedness towards each other in the face of personal atrocities perpetrated on each other is truly admirable. And "Grandpa's Balls" has to be seen to be believed.
Grade: A


I LOVE NEW YORK 2 (VH1)
http://www.vh1.com/shows/series/i_love_new_york_2/splash.jhtml
Twice as outrageous as last year and about twice as staged. Definitely off the MUST WATCH list, due to the obvious prodding and scripting by producers. Even New York's mom, complete with a whole new makeover which makes her almost indistinguishable from her daughter, seems to be in on the storylining this year. Why can't reality shows just let shit HAPPEN?
Grade: C -


FLAVA FLAV ROAST (COM CENTRAL)
http://www.amazon.com/Comedy-Central-Roast-Flavor-Flav/dp/B000V2SQ80/ref=pd_bbs_sr_5/103-7085827-8050222?ie=UTF8&s=digital-video&qid=1194228970&sr=8-5
Jimmy Kimmel killed, as did Ross Schwartz, and this was one of the funniest roasts Comedy Central has ever done.
Grade: A


ALIENS IN AMERICA (The CW)
http://www.cwtv.com/shows/aliens-in-america
A show that has absolutely no right to be nearly as warm, funny and sharp as it is - but it's all that and more. Here it is - the best new comedy of this season. It's about a nerd and the Pakistani student who comes to stay with them - and yet - this single camera half hour has the best comic sensibility of all the new comedies on the air right now. If you haven't seen this yet, catch up!
Grade: A


ROCK OF LOVE FINALE
http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/rock_of_love/series_characters.jhtml
I loved this whole show - I LOVED Rodeo, Brandy C. and Brandy M. (both can be seen in online porn as dirty as anything you've ever seen) and I thought Shannon was very pretty, very insane, and VERY entertaining. I loved Heather's 80s porno hair and her Bride Of Frankenstein makeup (made even funnier by the fact that every time Heather was scene sans makeup, she was kind of beautiful. But in the end, I think Mr. Michaels made exactly the right choice. But what is Heather going to do with that tattoo?
GRADE: B +
The Next Great American Band (FOX)
Pretty good - at 2 hours, pretty long. Not enough there to make me watch this every week.
Grade: C-


KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS (E!)
Ridiculous - and not in the good way. Bruce Jenner should have his medals stripped away.
Grade: F


SNL - THE NEW SEASON
It truly sucks out loud. And with Seth Myers now co-hosting UPDATE - there is truly no more compelling reason to watch this sinking ship. Is it even TRYING to be funny?
Grade: F


I still miss THE SOPRANOS and thought they were ROBBED at the Emmys in the acting awards, especially for Gandolfini, Edie Falco and Michael Imperiolli. That the moron who plays Janice got nominated - well - Ryan Seacrest was hosting (after a decent monologue, his uselessness became really apparent.) James Spader should've been ashamed to take that Emmy home, especially since BOSTON LEGAL stopped being a real show about 3 seasons ago.

Did anyone hear that massive fight between Sal and Artie on the STERN RADIO SHOW - it was insane, real - and I wonder if Sal still has a job. For the record, Sal was so far out of line I was sort of surprised that he wasn't fired on the spot. Still, he makes for compelling radio, and I wonder if he'll be given some slack over this - but this was about as uncomfortable and riveting as live radio goes. There's a reason Howard is the King. Here is the synopsis from their official site:
www.howardstern.com
"DOWNTRODDEN” COMEDIANS STAND UP
Howard railed against Richard and Sal's claim (made on the Wrap-Up Show yesterday) that he gives Artie more slack with the guests. Howard and Artie explained that it was Artie's job to be a larger part of the show,
and he's paid accordingly. Sal came in to defend himself, but Howard immediately speculated that Sal’s complaint was just an extension of his jealousy over Howard's close relationship with Artie.
Artie told Sal that he and Richard were just “glorified radio contest winners,” and Howard wondered why Sal and Richard always felt so “downtrodden.” Richard remarked that he was just offended when people mocked the validity of his ideas and claimed they couldn't care less if he died. Artie noted that Sal crosses the line with guests, like when he insulted Jon Stewart's comedy and asked Ace Frehley for his phone number.
ARTIE, SAL, AND RICHARD GET AGGRESSIVE
Sal began yelling that he always defended Artie, even though Artie “rips off” audiences by performing the same act over and over. Sal also told Artie that he was "nothing" before the Stern show, that he was horrible on MAD TV and that BEER LEAGUE is the worst shit ever and that Artie walks around like he's God's gift to comedy. Artie told Sal that he should go f’ himself, watch his “gay” kids die of R>TRONG>AIDS, and meet him downstairs later for an asskicking. Howard said Artie really didn't want Sal's kids to die of AIDS, and Artie admitted that Howard was right; he hoped Sal kids live to “at least 25” before the disease kills them.
Gary came in to say that Richard was being less than honest about his feelings, so Richard confessed that he thought Gary didn’t like him or want to hear any of his bits. Gary told Richard that “it's not that I don't want to hear anything, it's that I don't want to hear everything,” adding that Richard is “passive-aggressive” to the “nth-degree” when his bits don't get played. Howard then informed Richard that Gary's intuition was right 99% of the time.
THE NEXT DAY:
A MOMENT WITH FRED
Howard took a moment with Fred, who “endorsed” Artie in his fight with Sal and Richard because they'd “crossed the line” by throwing “everything but the kitchen sink” at Artie during their “attack” on him yesterday. Fred also said he thought Jerry Seinfeld was a “wacko,” as Jerry's “America's sweetheart” status doesn't agree with the fact that he once dated a 17 year-old and “stole” a newlywed woman. Robin agreed with Fred on both counts.
A MESSAGE FROM THE STERN SHOW OMBUDSMAN
Jason came in to say he mistakenly gave the impression yesterday that Richard has been pulling people aside to talk trash about Artie. Jason clarified that Richard had just mentioned (in the course of a “casual conversation”) he was upset with Artie for insulting his bits and “undermining” his work. Artie wondered why he was brought up in a “casual conversation,” but Jason couldn't remember, saying Richard just seemed angry with the fact that Artie says one thing to his face and the opposite on-air.
JD: SAL & RICHARD'S “REPRESENTATIVE”
Howard asked Sal and Richard if they wanted to “work out the parameters” of their new relationship with Artie, so JD came in as their “representative” and said they were doing fine. JD explained that the guys were hard at work on some new projects, and everyone was surprised they were turning down airtime. Howard noted that Richard told people he was bummed that yesterday's fight happened on Halloween. JD then read a statement from Sal and Richard in which they claimed they were upset with the listener emails Howard had read in support of Artie, as he'd skipped over all the ones that defended them. Howard told JD that he was the only real winner in this debacle, but JD didn't seem to buy it.

LATER:

ROBIN BEGINS (AND ENDS) HER CAREER AS A MODERATOR
Sal & Richard came in to say that Robin had convinced them to return to the studio. Sal requested that Robin be their “moderator,” so Howard begrudgingly obliged. Sal then said he and Artie were very passionate about their work, so when someone insults that work, they tend to lash out. Sal apologized for insulting Artie's resume, and Richard said that while Artie's comments sometimes hurt, they'll just deal with it from now on.
Howard asked how Sal making fun of Gary's work was different than Artie making fun of Sal's work, but Sal claimed it was “different.” Artie said Richard and Sal were asking him to edit himself, so Richard replied that he didn't want Artie to censor himself, just be aware that his statements hurt. Sal then apologized to Artie but still maintained that “Beer League” was “OK” – and not as good as his own film, “Robin's Meats & Vegetables.”
BUT HOW DO YOU REALLY FEEL?
Artie said he didn't like Sal and Richard, calling them “serpent pussy homos,” and never wanted to see them again, adding that when Howard retires, Sal will be an “asswipe without a hole.” Artie then became so angry, he started throwing things in Sal’s direction (but missing), scaring everyone in the studio into near-silence. Howard remarked that he missed Artie's outburst because he was “drawing pictures” and told Artie that throwing things wasn't cool. Artie indignantly told Howard he didn't care what he thought, saying, “Fire me.” Artie repeated his threats to “drop” Sal, noting that he couldn't be around “phony asswipes like that.” Fred began picking up the items that Artie threw, and Sal said he was fine and understood Artie's anger. Howard explained that Sal might be retarded, but he doesn't hate Artie. Artie again said he didn't care and refused to cooperate with Howard's attempts at diplomacy.
HOWARD PUTS OUT THE FIRE
Howard eventually succeeded in calming everyone down, and Artie apologized for his actions and asked if he could light a cigarette. Howard allowed Artie to light
up, and apologized for allowing the situation to escalate. Artie laughed that he just remembered Cara, his “Beer League” co-star, was in the green room the whole time. Howard then thanked everyone and told Artie to get some pussy this weekend. (This entire synopsis reprinted from the official HOWARD STERN WEBSITE www.howardstern.com


In the next Digital Couch:
DAMAGES (FX)
DEXTER: SEASON 2 (SHOWTIME)
WEEDS: SEASON 3 (SHOWTIME)
SPRINGSTEEN: MAGIC and LA SPORTS ARENA SHOW
and much more!