NIP/TUCK, WEEDS, DEXTER, INTO THE WILD and HOSTEL II!

Okay, so, the last blog was a bit ambitious with all those fucking links. However, I did have lots of pictures that I was going to put in this post - but for some reason I can't seem to work it that well - so - here is the "unplugged" version if you will - enjoy.

By the way, why does CBS keep hyping the Heather Locklear appearance on RULES OF ENGAGEMENT as if it were the second coming?


NIP/TUCK (FX) (5th season)
Well - they said that the move to LA would be really good for the show and revitalize the whole franchise. And it did! For one full episode! By episode two, the by now expected dramatic retardation had began and by eps 3, 4 & 5, they're already bringing back Julia in a new SHOCKING lesbian relationship!!! They've given Julia a softer haircut, but she still remains....kind of a blank. She's definitely not the sort of dynamo that Portia DiRossi would fall for - at least you'd think. In fact, their whole lesbian love affair is about the phoniest thing in this show about plastic surgery. They don't even resemble a real couple and Julia is as cold a fish as she was in season 1. And their "taboo" relationship?" In this day and age???? Give me a break - this is 2007 and they're treating this lesbian relationship like it was the very first one on tv. And it all revolves around DiRossi's daughter! But between all the Julia stuff, her girlfriend's scheming daughter (we've see a version of this character in every single season.) - the juvenile bullshit between the two leads as to who's really running the best game in town...it's just all so...wretchedly bad. Sean is dating an actress who shit the jacuzzi on ex-lax. I'm sure that was funny in the writer's room - on screen it was worth a chuckle I guess - but really, is this portrayal of a neurotic female tv star so engaging and new? And then more trouble with Matt and Kimber? This is starting to feel like outtakes from last year. But you gotta hand it to them, last year, they refurbished the show and it took about 7 episodes before it slid into bad camp. This year it only took them 4 to completely jump the shark, the rails, and the grand canyon. And Rosie O'Donnel and Oliver Platt? Is this really what passes as "innovative" these days? My God, Rosie is so bad on this show, with the "comical" New Yawk accent - what is this world coming to where people think that this is somehow funny? After the thrilling first episode, it seems like they have gone to every single cliche' ever built about Los Angeles, then dumbed it down by about 100. I think it's time for an intervention here - someone needs to have the strength to simply put the bullet into the head of this show that it's been begging for ever since THE CARVER storyline wrapped up. Stop the madness! This is truly becoming the most brain-dead hour on television.
Grade: D -(saved from an F for the occasional outrageous scene.)


DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
What happened, Dex? Season 1 was about the coolest thing on TV. The murders were horrifying, Dexter was unique, scary, dynamic - season 1 was so very good it made you forget it sported some of the worst acting on tv (the sister, the captain, the captain's captain, Dokes, etc.) - Season 2, which should have been superb, based on the fact that they really came up with a fantastic storyline where they find all of Dexter's bodies - but instead of a pulse pounding energy, we get this very lazily played chess game with Dexter slowly going through the motions as if this was the 8Th season. The sister's acting is worse then ever, and this bullshit about Dexter being on Heroin is really kind of dumb. I hope this show gets better, but for season 2, this is not very impressive. Season 2 is supposed to deepen the pool, not make it more shallow. Still, the tone is still right on the money and it is more interesting then other dramas currently on the air, so I'm hanging in there.
Grade: B -

WEEDS (SHOWTIME)
Finally, a show that goes into different territory for their third season. WEEDS seems to reinvent itself on some level every year, and this season was no different, with the actions and consequences of what these characters are up to finally coming to a very nasty head. Mary Louise Parker is frighteningly good and real in this role, and truly makes this whole thing work. Kevin Nealon is funnier then ever this year, they found a great way to bring Celia into the action, U-Turn was great this year, the romance between Nancy and Conrad is one I've always found compelling, and despite Nancy's low standards this year in choosing who to sleep with, I've always thought she should end up with Conrad. Hunter Parish as Nancy's son Silas has really developed as a character as well - though, I'm sad to report, the addition of Mary Kate Olsen in the role of the Church-loving weed slinging new girlfriend of Silas is more a step in the right direction for Mary Kate's career rather then a good direction for this show. When I heard about it, I thought it was interesting casting and I would love to see if Mary Kate, after all those tabloid years, can really act - and the answer is - she can - but not very compellingly and she didn't really offer much in this series. She reminds me of a beginning actor who just got her first job but wasn't really able to do much with it - even though it was a great role and I can only imagine what a better actress would've done with it. But I'm quibbling, this was a great, funny and very scary season and as usual - they had a scorched earth ending that doesn't leave the show much room to go - yet something tells me that WEEDS will find a way - it always does. Like real weeds themselves, this show always seems to get into areas you never thought you'd find it - and a special thanks for treating us to some Lexington Steele this year!
Grade: A


MR. BROOKS (DVD)
This was really good, though there appeared to be two simultaneous movies going on at the same time. Mr. Brooks, Kevin Costner, is the MAN OF THE YEAR (in a very tired, exhausted movie cliche at the beginning when he accepts his award - these "MAN OF THE YEAR" ceremonies are almost now a dead give a way that something is horribly wrong with the person receiving the award. Nonetheless, Costner is excellent at the man "addicted to murder" - no spoilers, this happens in the first 3 minutes of the film. Dane Cook, the world's very worst and most pathetic comic maybe ever, turns up as an overactor (Yup, he stink in comedy and he's pretty awful in drama) - yet, Cook does his very best ever here in this role, which, is not saying much. Still, he is not distracting enough to kill the movie. William Hurt plays Costner's devil on his shoulder, talking to him about the killings in imaginary conversations. And the newly minted mouth of Demi Moore (Have you seen her refurbished choppers? They're ready to take a bite out of a Sycamore tree) - stars here as a LIFETIME style of TV COP slowly trying to uncover the murder - and once again, even though she kind of sucks, the story is so intriguing that you get pulled in regardless. It also gets confusing when Mr. Brooks starts crossing his storyline with Demi Moore's weirdo divorce storyline. I'm not going to reveal specific plot points, but as much as this film has going against it, what it has going for it is a terrific perf. from Costner and Hurt, and a truly interesting screenplay. Recommended.
Grade: B -

INTO THE WILD (In Theatres - Rated R)
Written and directed by Sean Penn, in what is probably the best film he's ever made, this follows the true life story of a privileged young man (Emille Hirsh - almost always great) who decides to give his college fund away and go live in the wild. While we get bits of info on how his home life was riddled with hypocrisy and minor violence - both emotional and physical- we never really get exactly why this young man has decided to embark upon a journey to Alaska to live among the wild. I remember hearing about this kid when I was younger and there was - at the time - a big deal made out of the fact that he spent 9 weeks in an abandoned bus in Alaska and the fact that he kept a journal that represented the lunacy he was entering into. I remember at the time his biggest regret is that he killed a moose, and even though it's not portrayed in the film, this moose was his friend in the wilderness, he finally killed it for food, then completely botched eating it as maggots and creatures got ahold of the moose before he could eat it - and he truly regretted killing his friend and it haunted him for the rest of the days. While that sequence isn't given that kind of weight in the film, it's here, along with a host of other great characters he runs into on his journey into the wild. I guess my biggest problem with the film - which is truly shot in luminous and 70s style widescreen - it's a GREAT looking film, although i didn't really get the Eddie Vedder soundtrack, frankly - was that we never truly got into the kid's head. It ultimately seemed that he just wanted to be a guy on this romantic journey of being alone in the woods - but it felt....a little weak. I think a bit more into his psychic pain might have made this journey a bit more meaningful - still, pretty good stuff.
Grade: B


I LOVE NY 2 (VH1)
I just saw the ep where the Taylor-Made basically fought with everyone - fantastic.I watched a few more, including watching NEW YORK take that moron with her to the NIP/TUCK set, get farted on by her suitor (hilarious) and then get fawned over by NIP/TUCK creator RYAN MURPHY - and the scenes they filmed with Tiffany look like further evidence that I LOVE NY is probably more realistic then NIP/TUCK at this point. Maybe Ryan should not have looked so supremely satisfied with himself.
Grade: B -


SCARLETT DIVA (DVD)
This was made and directed by Asia Argento - the Italian sexpot who is the daughter of DARIO ARGENTO - a horror film maven from Italy who handled editing the Italian release/version of DAWN OF THE DEAD. In fact, Asia has a major role in the DAWN remake. All that aside - I had heard this film had tons of nudity and graphic sex - untrue. It's just a trippy little film about the plight of an actress who sleeps with almost everyone in her path, and it's not particularly compelling.
Grade: C -


EAGLES NEW CD AGAIN (WALMART)
I know I've already reviewed this, but really - WAITING IN THE WEEDS and LONG ROAD OUT OF EDEN are already instant EAGLES classics - download them at once.

REM "LIVE" (Double CD and DVD)
I'm a big fan of REM - but they haven't made a relevant CD in years and years. This double live set resurrects some of the high points of the last 2 decades, but comes too late and with too many half-baked late 90s songs. I haven't seen the dvd of this show yet, but it's all just sort of expertly recorded REM mediocrity.
Grade: C -


DAMAGES (FX)
I recently watched all 13 eps of this in the span of a week. Completely addicting - Danson and Close are revelations - particularly Danson. Close is doing sort of a variation of her FATAL ATTRACTION bitch with more finesse. I can't stand the actress who plays the new young attorney, nor can I remember her name, but thought she went from "innocent" to "hardened" in a unrealistic amount of time and the actor herself was quite unconvincing in her more "dangerous" personal. With the exception of a terrible final 5 minutes of the finale', this twisty legal thriller was a great example of off-network television at its very wicked best. I just heard they were renewed for 2 more seasons - this is a good thing.
GRADE: A -


PRISON BREAK (FOX)
Okay, I'm pissed - TIVO broke down and erased my whole PRISON BREAK block. JOE H. - I know you read this blog - please get me the dvds of the eps I missed (I only got to see the first 2 eps of the season.) I'm serious - this is one of my very favorite shows and I missed all but the first 2 eps - if someone has all these - including JOE H. - please contact me and get them to me?

HOGAN FAMILY (VH1)
"Brooke Breaks The Bank"
The most over-produced reality show of all time keeps getting more scripted. Soon they should ADD laugh track. Still, The Hulk is never less than compelling. Even when he is just following instructions from the producers.
Grade: C -
UPDATE: Just heard about the Hogan's upcoming divorce - I wonder if they'll continue to follow Hulk on his solo journey.



MAD MEN
The best show on tv. Period. If you're not watching it, you should be. If you are watching it, you should be ordering the soon to come 1st season dvd set. This is a ultra-cool show about advertising agents in the 60s, written and conceived by brilliant SOPRANOS scribe Mathew Weiner - this is a show that brings back subtlety, yet within these small moments, entire continents crash and burn. The most searing, original show since THE SOPRANOS. With maybe the best office boss, EVER.
Grade: A +


CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM (HBO)
Started weak, then got strong (the freak book ep was priceless), then they got into this thing with Cheryl leaving Larry - which was interesting. Then he made a wretched creative decision about the "choosing" of marital sides - I don't know. I watch, but I don't always like.
Grade: B -
UPDATE:
I just watched the season finale and found it to be near perfect. I'm dying to know if they go in that direction for next year.
FINALE GRADE: A


TELL ME YOU LOVE ME (HBO)
I kind of like this show - though it was never as sexually explicit as it was in the pilot. The characters represent a sort of "generations" of sexual couplings - I really like some of the acting although the sex scenes always feel a little strange to me for some reason. There is a 70s like earnestness to this show - at least in the initial batch of eps - and the "young woman" on the show seems to be doing a realy bad Sarah Silverman impression. That said - there is much to recommend about this show - and the universal truth of it is that marriage truly can be an illusion, and this relationship show really needs to up the ante in their next 6 episodes if they want to create an illusion as well.
Still on the fence, but at the moment:
Grade: C +


KNOCKED UP (DVD - unrated version)
I'm sure you've all seen it - I recommend the unrated version just because it's a tad bit dirtier, but this is a great, hilarious, touching film that nobody should miss because it's one of the very best of the year. That said, the double-disc version has TONS of extras. Highly recommended.
Grade: A +

THE STREET (DVD - BBC)
A fantastic BBC show that I just started watching. It's about the entanglements and lives of the people who live on this particular street in London, and the acting is realistic and the storytelling stellar, though I've only seen the first 2 (I think out of 9.)
Grade: B


America's Next Top Model (The CW)
I actually took this season off my DVR. It was just that....generic.


RULES OF ENGAGEMENT (CBS)
More of the same, but like last year, I liked it.
Grade: C +


LIFE (NBC)
Really cool, really quirky and really well executed. If you're looking for a real twist in the police procedural, look no further than this whip-smart procedural. And remember the girl who Tony Soprano partied with in Las Vegas this season - she's here as the lead detective (Sarah Sashi.) And Damion Lewis is perfection as the cop with the mysterious past. Seriously - this is different. Watch it.
Grade: A

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN - MAGIC
Bruce's first E STREET CD in a few years, this is not the sprawling amost-epic that THE RISING was. That said, this is a fun, hard rockin' BORN IN THE USA style album. RADIO NOWHERE is one of Bruce's catchiest tunes in years. Many of the songs sound a bit like updates of classic Bruce tunes. YOU'LL BE COMING DOWN sounds like another Bruce song I can't put my finger on. LIVING IN THE FUTURE sounds like a cross between 10th AVE FREEZE OUT and GLORY DAYS. I prefer the originals. YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY sounds like a wall of sound that could've fit on BORN TO RUN - although the lyrics are somewhat trite. GIRLS IN THEIR SUMMER CLOTHES arrives like a instant Springsteen classic, and succeeds wildly where WAITIN' ON A SUNNY DAY sort of failed. I'LL WORK FOR YOUR LOVE opens with some classic Springsteen piano - but ultimately doesn't really go anywhere. MAGIC is original, quiet and really cool. Maybe the best track on the CD. LAST TO DIE is war-themed song that work really well due to Bruce's impassioned vocals. LONG WALK HOME is cool, if forgettable. I liked DEVIL'S ARCADE a lot. TERRY'S SONG - Bruce's tribute to his fallen asst. Terry of 25 years is sort of beautiful - and there it is. The nice thing is that there is a great variety if no real theme here, the band sounds great, but the mix itself is unforgivably muddy. More often than not, the band sounds louder than Bruce. Still, going on 30 years, Bruce still kicks out these interesting records. I just wish it were as great as his ambition.
Grade: B -


Been really getting into PINK FLOYD lately - I've always loved THE WALL, DARK SIDE and THE FINAL CUT. Recently I started listening to ANIMALS and WISH YOU WERE HERE. ANIMALS is great, but WISH YOU WERE HERE is a masterpiece. As for live Floyd, you can't go wrong with the DVD of the Roger Waters' show IN THE FLESH. But you might be better off with the later incarnation of Floyd without Waters - the David Gilmour dvd of PULSE is fantastic. He does pretty much everything - and let's face it - Waters might be the mastermind behind Floyd, but it's Gilmour's guitar work and voice that has always been the signature sound of Floyd.
DARK SIDE OF THE MOON - A + *if you have a 5.1 system you MUST get the 5.1 mix dvd.
WISH YOU WERE HERE - A (Did we really need the SHINE ON reprise?)
ANIMALS - B (not as lofty as the above, but pretty great in it's own right.)
THE WALL - A + (Comfortably Numb might be there greatest moment, ever.)
THE FINAL CUT - B + (a most overlooked cd, the last waters/Gilmour collaboration and mostly sounding like a Waters solo work, but still pretty great.)

PINK FLOYD ON DVD
ROGER WATERS - IN THE FLESH? - A
PINK FLOYD - PULSE - A +


ALIENS IN AMERICAN (THE CW)
I've only seen the pilot, but can say this is easily the funniest show on the CW since MAYBE IT'S ME. The lead actor with his sad-sack voice over is truly hilarious, and the vibe of the show is off kilter enough that it draws you right in to the story of a high schooler who must take in a Pakistani foreign exchange student.
Grade: A

dirty sexy money (ABC)
WAY better than I had figured - this might be one of the best new shows of the season. Peter Krause is great as is just about everyone in this deliciously take on the rich, the righteous and the have-nots.
Grade: B


HOUSE, MD (FOX)
Thought the season premier was good but think that ep #2 where House starts to decide who to pick for his new diagnosis team was kind of great. I'm behind on this show by about 4 eps, so I'll do more in a future blog.
Grade: A


ROCK OF LOVE FINALE
I loved this whole show - I LOVED Rodeo, Brandy C. and Brandy M. (both can be seen in online porn as dirty as anything you've ever seen) and I thought Shannon was very pretty, very insane, and VERY entertaining. I loved Heather's 80s porno hair and her Bride Of Frankenstein makeup (made even funnier by the fact that every time Heather was scene sans makeup, she was kind of beautiful. But in the end, I think Mr. Michaels made exactly the right choice. But what is Heather going to do with that tatoo?
GRADE: B +
UPDATE:
I watched the reunion special. So the cool Jen chick he picked turned out to be there for publicity and somehow came off as the fakest one in the pack - amazing. And Heather, who has now ruined her appearance with a medley of completely unnessary bad plastic surgery (all she needed to do was wash away the bad 80s makeup and redesign the porno hairstyle - she was a beautiful girl) is poised to go out with Brett? But will he still want her now that she's had more surgery then Liza Minilli?



The Sad Case of PEREZ HILTON and BRITTNY SPEARS.
I personally think Perez is obsessed with Brit. When he shows Brittny just sitting in her car being surrounded by the flashbulbs of the paparazzi (ie, scumbags) which to me resemble a swarm of flies descending on this confused but human young woman, Perez, whose site I must admit I read daily - but when he sits there kissing the ass of Paris and Angela Jolie and he tells Britt that she must "Stay Home!" - I wonder who the fuck Hilton thinks he is. Not that he's not entertaining, I just think he's an asshole. And his tv show, as bloodless as his blog is blood thirsty. Just Perez kissing the ass of every celeb he could possibly find. I'm thinking TMZ tv does it a bit better - though not by much. But on my original point, Perez seems to be absolutely obsessed with Britt long after our obsession has died down. What's wrong with this guy? Clearly, he has a massive talent as far as cobbling these stories together, but this seems to be just a mean-spirited vendetta against a really wayward confused young lady. BY the way, is it even possible to drive with 2000 paparazzi surrounding your car and the bulbs going off and NOT running over their feet - I defy anyone out there to figure that one out. What about the harrassment of Britney by the Pap?


I still miss THE SOPRANOS and thought they were ROBBED at the Emmys in the acting awards, especially for Gandolfini, Edie Falco and Michael Imperiolli. That the moron who plays Janice got nominated - well - Ryan Seacrest was hosting (after a decent monolouge, his uselessness became really apparent.)
James Spader should've been ashamed to take that Emmy home, especially since BOSTON LEGAL stopped being a real show about 3 seasons ago.
UPDATE: BOSTON LEGAS is SLIGHTLY better this year - still ridiculous.


THE SARAH SILVERMAN SHOW (DEBUT)
The way Sarah lamented her abortions to Green Day's "GOOD RIDDANCE" must be seen to be believed. Watch it here:
http://sarahsilverman.comedycentral.com/index.jhtml?c=vc&videoId=103794


HOWARD STERN SHOW
Has been great as ever, but the Dr. Keith Abalow session with Sal and Christine was the show at it's best. And Artie's impression of "emotional friend" is one for the ages.
UPDATE:
On the air, and then on HOWARD TV, I saw the trilogy of shows revolving around one of the shows most epic fights ever between Artie, Sal & Richard. I believe Howard could take two hours out of that conflict and release it as a movie. And it has the best ending ever.

BEST WEEK EVER is really, really funny.


FLIGHT OF THE CHONCORDS (HBO)
I saw the pilot, LOVED IT, for some reason never watched it again.


KITCHEN NIGHTMARES (FOX)
Chef Gordon Ramsey is great tv, unfortunately, they already aired the first few explosive episodes (Gordon once found an infestation of bugs in an Indian resturaunt.) But now the places he's helping aren't that bad off. The worse the resturaunt, the better the show usually is.
Grade: B


THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED (DVD)
Fascinating docu on the ratings board. Reccomended.
Grade: B


ZODIAC (DVD)
Really, really artfully done, well acting, and BORING. Sorry, but at 2 hours and forty five minutes (the director's cut) I never made it all the way to the end.
Grade: ???


DEATH PROOF (DVD)
This was the first half of GRINDHOUSE, which we all know was two movies in one. They stripped away the second movie (Released on its own,) added a disc of extras and gave this film an extra 40 minutes. I have a feeling the film was better with a shorter running time, because it's more a cool idea with some nifty scenes rather than a full fledged film, however, it's a fun ride, it's a Tarantino so that means some juicy dialog, a great lap dance scene (omitted from the original release) and some needless extra filler of some not-so-greatly delivered Q dialoge. On the whole, this is a very worthwhile endeavor. The movie has a fantastic look and feel from the 70s and a GREAT blistering lead performance in Kurt Russel, though he comes off much better in the first half then the very repetitive second half. Killer soundtrack. The extras are mostly about how they filmed the stunts for the film (which were not CGI'd) and some generic behind the scenes stuff. If you're a fan of Quentin, even though this isn't a fully realized film - you gotta see it. Even more importantly, I wish they would eventually release the whole thing on DVD - the two movies, the faux trailers - I mean, they have to, right?
Grade: B+


KID NATION
This bored me too much - I left after the 2nd commercial break. Did I miss anything?

HALLOWEEN (NOT YET ON DVD)
Fairly pointless remake with Rob Zombie (the great, DEVIL'S REJECTS) helming the retelling of this classic story. We get a LOT more of young Michael and how he became a killer, but once the movie shifts to HALLOWEEN night, which is where the majority of the original film took place, it becomes almost a bad shot for shot remake, with Rob not really adding much to what we already know and have seen. Reccomended, but barely. By the way, Rob manages to get in every player from DEVIL'S REJECTS in starring roles and cameos here - sounds like Mr. Zombie is very happy with his little acting troupe. The last guy to do that a lot was George A. Romero.
Grade: B -

THE SHOOTER (DVD)
Coming from Antoin Fuqua, who directed TRAINING DAY (an A) - I expected a lot more than this insanely predictable tale of Marky Mark pretending to be a great sharp shooter. It was needlessly complicated and very boring mixed with utter predictablity.

HOSTEL II (DVD)

ALIENS IN AMERICA (THE CW)
Continues to get funnier and funnier. Now the dad is getting in on the comedy, and he's especially adept at it - this is truly a great show and if you aren't watching it, really - check it out.
Grade: A

FAMILY GUY (FOX)
The episode in which Peter finds out he is an illegal alien was wrenchingly funny.
Grade: B +

THE SARAH SILVERMAN SHOW (COM)
The second season proves as devlish as the first, with Sarah, at this time, being the funniest woman on television. The recent episode in which she did battle on the COOKIE SHOW was masterful in its irreverence. I also loved the ep about her maid being deported and the revelation that Brian is into SPIN DOCTORS (they spoofed the video - hilarious) and that Jay is into "Gentle Comedy."
Grade: A

Speaking of which, I though Jimmy Kimmel killed, as usual, at the American Music Awards, and the current issue of PLAYBOY has a GREAT article on Jimmy, which becomes a bit of a love song to both Jimmy and Sarah, and reveals very much of both. It's one of the best articles I've read about Jimmy and it's highly reccomended.


HOSTEL II (DVD)
A worthy follow up, though not nearly as scary or original as the first, this does continue the mythology and puts enough of a twist on the first movie to have a right to exist. There is a bit too much dumb dialoge, the girls are not really fleshed out, and Eli Roth, as a director, does far worse to Heather Matarazzo then all the bullies did to her as Dawn Weiner in WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE (An "A" movie, by the way.) The extras are really plentiful, and in some ways more entertaining then the film - but - at 90 minutes this is enjoyable enough with some truly inspired moments. When I was a kid I used to watch ANOTHER WORLD which is a now-defunct soap opera on NBC. I doubt anyone reading this remembers, but before Richard Burgi became a USA NETWORK SENSATION in a forgettable drama, he was the evil pimp CHAD in that show - here, he's just as evil.
Grade: B -

That's it for now.
Coming:
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM (new season)
SHOOTER (DVD)
MARGOT AT THE WEDDING (IN THEATRES)
3 10 TO YUMA (DVD SCREENER)