Just kidding.
GLAM GOD (VH1)
Episode 4. “Low Life in High Heels” Maybe a series high point, this was probably the wildest episode yet as “Kiki” donned his wig and gave the world his “Jackie Blue” – and I sat and watched maybe the most gloriously sleazy nightclub scene in recent memory. Kiki is a very sad, very scary drunk – and he just about broke my heart in this episode which saw him sent off packing as his drinking became truly detrimental to the production. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone drink as much as Kiki – seriously. SERIOUSLY. In other Glam news, Jess Zaino won again, and the DIGITAL COUCH is hoping she walks away with the whole thing. Since Jess is one of my favorite people in the world – this has been obviously a particularly fun series to watch, but she’s really kicking ass in this competition. THE DIGITAL COUCH is really proud of Zaino. I don’t know why my links aren’t getting hot but, much like the horrible new version of FACEBOOK, Blogspot has screwed with the format so much that I can’t even include hot links on my site – great going, boys. Make this thing LESS user friendly – that’ll show us! Anyway – watch GLAM GOD on VH1 on Thursdays at 10 PM. And go here for GLAM GOD extras:
http://www.vh1.com/shows/series/glam_god/?source=globalnav
Grade: A +
SANDBAG'S on MELROSE (www.sandbagss.com – 323 – 932 – 9344)
I just recently got addicted to this great, great sandwich/sub shop on Melrose. They have every great hot and cold sandwich you can imagine made with awesome ingredients and the sandwiches sort of have this great homemade vibe to them. It costs as much or less than a SUBWAY or QUIZNOs – it’s just like – 100 thousand times better than either one of those chains. And – believe it or not – slightly cheaper. And they deliver their sandwiches with a choice of sides (2 extra dollars –the macaroni salad’s a bit soggy, the noodles in peanut sauce is intoxicating, the cole slaw is enhanced by wasabi and is superlative.) In addition to sandwiches they have a few great salads and the requisite chips – but the real bonus is the tiny cookie they give with every sandwich – it’s homemade and really could use a few more chips in that motherfucker – but it’s tasty nonetheless. And the sandwiches are a true gem. I would list my favorites but honestly – I haven’t had a bad one yet. And they deliver with a 15 dollar minimum.
Grade: A +
ENTOURAGE (HBO)
I caught up with the boys in the first 2 episodes of the 5th season. Things have taken an ugly turn for Vince since “Medillon” and Ari and Eric are doing everything they can to restore him to his “Aquaman” heights. Unfortunately, the world has now seen this shitty movie and nobody is making Vince any serious offers. As a viewer, we’ve watched the guys go through one wish fulfillment scenario after another. It seems as if the show is going to let the guys off easy and I won’t be surprised if Vince gets a great job quickly – but the idea of fucking with their money and future is tantalizing – and I hope the direction moves towards letting us see these guys go through some hard times. But the show, as usual, is fun, fast moving and kind of exactly like it’s always been. Drama is insane, Turtle is looking to get laid, E fights with an always agitated Ari (hopefully we won’t get the Ari family drama that plagued seasons 3 and 4.) And Vince remains a great lead, seemingly uncaring about his career but this season with everything on the line, I think there’ll be some new colors to Vince. At least – one could hope.
Grade: B
ADDICTION (A&E)
I haven’t watched this much, but I watched the story of Aya, the gay Mexican bulimic. Wow. Viewers beware – the show is insanely graphic and unflinching. Aya was a great sport and very open. He admitted that his friends used to call him “Gaya” when they found out about his sexuality (which he admitted was actually pretty funny.) Moreover, I’d never really seen the day to day life of a hardcore bulimic. Aya is a handsome funny guy who clearly wants to be loved by everyone – and that void he feels is fed by these insane binges and then the purge – which happens 3 times a day. When he cooks to vomit – he’ll make himself like – 8 pieces of chicken that he admits he doesn’t even taste because the whole meal is really just a ramp up to the comfort of throwing up. He’s done over 50 thousand dollars worth of damage to his teeth, which he claimed is small potatoes to look good. He’s highly educated and intelligent and someone who simply doesn’t seem to have this problem. If you met him on the street you’d probably be jealous of his lifestyle, which is why this series is so great. These episodes, which take on all difrerent kinds of addictions, are heartbreaking, scary and real – and relatable. This show is great – if you have the stomach for it.
Grade: A
I LOVE MONEY (VH1)
How the fuck is this show so successful again? It’s horrible. Oh yeah, it’s also sort of great. If you like watching a truly unlikable characters battle it out and humiliate themselves for money – and of course the hook of this show is that these are all people from previous VH1 shows – then this is your show. I have a love/hate relationship with it – but based on the last couple of eps, I’d say I’m in love. But with serious trepidation.
Grade: B -
WINDY CITY HEAT (DVD)
I watched this Saturday night with a friend who had never seen it. It’s been a while since I’d seen this and I checked out the DVD version for once instead of the Comedy Central dvd that I’ve had for a couple of years. So it might have been a couple of years since I’ve seen this. First, I want to note that the version I saw last night had scenes I had never seen before, so I guess they edited in an extra 5 minutes or so to the movie – all of which I loved as Perry explains his ingenius technique for remembering lines. In case I haven’t said it lately, this is probably one of the funniest movies I have ever seen in my life. It’s the real life JOE SCHMO (it’s industry legend that SCHMO completely ripped off that movie – and I believe it.) Perry is a terrible actor who is fooled into thinking that there is a major motion picture being filmed with him as the star. What he doesn’t know is that every single person in the film is on the joke except Perry. This film is a blessing of unbelievable people – great editing and a truly one of a kind human being named Perry Cavello. The film held up as if it were made yesterday, only every time I watch it I get about 100 jokes I didn’t see the first time. And this is something I’ve seen maybe 100 times. Don Barris is amazing as Perry’s buddy Don and Tony Barbieri (a writer/performer on the Jimmy Kimmel show) is amazing as Mole, and the whole thing is produced by Jimmy Kimmel’s production company, Jackhole – and we can only hope for a sequel, as I’m still not sure that Perry realizes what this film was really about. Kimmel himself shows up for the finale, which includes an award show in Van Nuys featuring the “President of Show Biz.” This is a great, great elaborate prank disguised as a film and the fact that it’s not more well known is a crime. But here at the DIGITAL COUCH, WINDY CITY HEAT receives our very highest praise and recommendation.
Grade: A +
I looked up Perry online – this is from his OWN WEBSITE:
Excellent at Playing Unstable Characters, Both Comedic and Sinister, Excellent at Scaring People.
JEFF ROSS: NO OFFENSE (COMEDY CENTRAL)
Ross absolutely kills in this brilliant set from a New Jersey casino. Try to watch the uncensored version. This is the best stand up set from Comedy Central in a LONG TIME. Ross is lovable and hilarious, never more so than when he thanks the slacker in the front row for wearing “his nicest flip flops” to the show.
Grade: A +
BROOKE KNOWS BEST (VH1)
I don’t know what’s more useless, this show or Brooke herself. Actually – that’s a lie. I kind of like Brooke. She was really game on HOWARD STERN this week – but I don’t really care for her scripted, inane and truly insipid show.
Grade: D
THE SHIELD (FX)
This is a surprise. While I’m interested in the final season of THE SHIELD, it’s simply not great. After 5 hardcore seasons, this seasons plot seems really convoluted and convenient – even for the Shield. While it pays lots of attention to the fans who have followed the show for the whole time (with the possible exception of a not great season 2, this has pretty much been a perfect series) it doesn’t have the edginess and natural controversy of seasons past. I still love Vic and the gang – but this last season is (so far – 3 eps in) a real let down with a been there – done that vibe. The characters have stopped surprising and the non-Vic storylines are particularly boring. And why oh why are we supposed to care so much about Billings??? (Maybe the worst storyline in the entire series.) Here’s hoping this towering cop show which redefined cable television and the limits of commercial taste finds itself again before they go out, hopefully in style.
Grade: C +
BIG BROTHER (CBS)
I forget if I previously reviewed this, but this finale further proved that this was a truly sub-par season.
Grade: C –
SWINGTOWN (CBS)
SWINGTOWN ended it’s fun run over the summer but I just watched the last 2 eps the other night. This was a really good show that had potential for greatness but never really quite got there. Instead of being sort of a searing look at 70s suburbia, it took on the properties of a cheesy soap opera – very fun but nothing I need to see for a second season. And for the record, the main couple had the two strangest looking kids in television. And both of their relationships were so bad and such cheesy writing it really did take its toll on this series. The finale even had the audacity to include a storyline involving the daughter and her lover/teacher and how his best friend might’ve been in an earthquake – I’m like – “Is this REALLY the last one and you’re bothering us with THIS?” Anyway – the finale also had a slash and burn quality that I admired since the show itself seemed to acknowledge they wouldn’t be back, they set up a never to be seen 2nd season that would have had some intrigue – but I didn’t really buy Molly Parker falling for Roger. Anyway – nice job – it’s a shame this series never saw itself to full potential, but this was a fun ride and some of this series was truly groundbreaking.
Grade: B +
CHRIS ANGEL: MINDFREAK (A&E)
What’s so weird about this is I very recently became a Chris Angel fan after catching (by accident) the ep in which he really did walk on water. I will never know how he pulled that off. The next week, they promised that Chris would perform his last dangerous stunt ever – trying to escape from an building about to implode from massive amounts of dynamite. Watching it, I got the sinking feeling that I was watching bullshit. When Chris didn’t make it out of the building, then emerged seconds before the live broadcast went to credits – and you should see the way he emerged. First of all, the building was blown to bits, then you don’t see anything. Yet, everyone seems very calm and collected. Then, out of nowhere and honestly looking like a fucking retard, Angel emerges as if a house just fell on him with this insane lookon his face that’s supposed to read “A building just fell on me!” Not only is this an insult to everyone who was affected by 9/11 (I guess if Chris Angel were in the towers he would've survived easily) I call bullshit, as did anyone else who watched this truly insulting live broadcast. This link just proves it beyond a shadow of a doubt. Again - BLOGSPOT wants to make it really hard to add hot links to these posts - so you'll have to cut and paste this into your browser - but you have to see this.
The Chris Angel Building Implosion completely de-bunked.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH2utgVAMt0
PRISON BREAK (FOX)
I watched the last batch of eps from last season and thought it was completely re-invented and still pretty fun. T-Bag is a great character, and I’m looking forward to the new season piling up on my DVR. While not quite as vital as the first season or two, this is still a highly imaginative show that has – against all odds – found a way to keep rocking.
Grade: B +
Lastly, how is it possible that Jenifer Hudson is marrying PUNK from I LOVE NY???
2008/09/21
2008/09/14
SNL returns, Bob Saget on the hotseat and SWINGTOWN swings!
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (NBC)
The opening sketch with Tina Fey playing Sarah Palin was weird in the sense that for the last few weeks everybody noticed how much Palin resembles Fey, imagined Fey doing the impression – and then it was on TV and it was kind of like – exactly what you had in your head. Like the viewers had written the opening sketch – but it was still kind of funny – though every single sketch that followed bombed huge. Michael Phelps could not have been worse – and SNL’s decision to have the important political season start out with Phelps at the helm reminded me why Seth Myers is their head writer.
Grade: D
GLAM GOD (VH1)
GLAM continues to be one of the more entertaining offerings on VH1. In their 3rd of 8 episodes, this is the one that really took off. The challenge this time around was really fun, and guess who brought home the gold – Jess Zaino! But the real story might’ve been Kiki’s insane drinking and chanting and raging – the man is a drunk, albeit one of the most entertaining ones I’ve ever seen. If you are not watching this show, you are missing one of the finer reality shows of the moment.
Grade: A
THE HEARTBREAK KID (HBO)
I happen to catch this on HBO the other night. Way better than you’ve heard, it takes a huge misstep about half way through and never recovers. This was the summer comedy last year that was to mark the return of Ben Stiller and The Farrely Brothers – but somewhere on this one something went wrong. The first half is legitimately funny. There is a great joke about the new couple and the bathroom that made me laugh out loud but is too raunchy to repeat here. Then the movie takes a really shitty turn and just keeps getting shittier until it unveils one of the shittiest endings ever. But the first half is funny.
Grade: C
Speaking of shit, why did ABC pick the 5 biggest shitheads on TV to host the Emmys when they had other great choices – like, say – the guy that does the late night talk show on their own network, who would’ve been superb?
And speaking of comedy, ROLLING STONE did it’s big COMEDY issue this month. How do you do a comedy issue with people like Dane Cook and Craig Ferguson – not to mention star of the unwatchable vh1 show – Margaret Cho – funny to those only who are stuck in the mid-90s – this issue was ok but really – how do you do the COMEDY issue and not include Howard Stern and Jimmy Kimmel? By the way, Dane Cook talks as if he’s Richard Pryor and knows every in and out of the comedy biz. Dane Cook? I mean – Cook looks like a nice enough guy and he’s pleasant to watch at times – horrifyingly unfunny many other times – his new film BEST FRIEND’S GIRL looks like it just might be the worst thing ever committed to celluloid – but he’s in ROLLING STONE as a comedy EXPERT? The only thing the issue got right was in excluding Jay Leno from almost any talk of comedy – since Jay took over the Tonight Show – he seems to have made a rule about no actual laughs on the show – so I guess that sort of worked out.
One thing that came out of the issue that was really surprising to me – they interviewed the still great David Letterman – who revealed that Johnny Carson – after his retirement, was a sometimes contributor to the Letterman show for many years after Johnny’s “retirement.” The only other shocking thing in this issue was that Billy Crystal actually believes that today – in 2008 – the funniest movie ever made – the funniest film EVER – is…..SOME LIKE IT HOT.
Good night, Billy. You had a great run being relevant, that “mahvalous” shtick in the 80s was awesome - but it seems your wish of being a dotty old comedian with weird ideas about comedy has arrived not a moment too soon. Truly – after that Rolling Stone statement and the bit on the HBO telethon with you doing an old black musician which you recited in some kind of retarded Louie Armstrong dialect, maybe it’s time to admit that it’s over. If you can’t admit it to yourself, watch Mr. Saturday Night (a film you made when you were “hot”) and the answer should be depressingly clear.
Lastly, in this issue I learned that Arsenio Hall is responsible for discovering George Lopez. At least now we know who to blame. Did Arsenio Hall die last year?
Kobe Bryant did a rare talk-show appearance on Kimmel the other night and seems like the weirdest dude in basketball. But watching Uncle Frank use $234 dollars to make a salmon skin and shrimp cocktail sauce pizza was worth the price of admission.
MTV VMAS (MTV)
Brittney Spears turned into a robot. She was so afraid of slipping – instead of being herself – she pretended the last 3 years didn’t happen. It almost worked. What a major fucking weirdo. That host guy – English dude with long hair – can’t think of his name - maybe he’s funny otherwise – but he particularly sucked. Anyway – I ended up tuning out pretty quickly.
THE ROAST OF BOB SAGET (COMEDY CENTRAL)
A mixed bag but largely successful. My individual reviews: Greg Giraldo was funny, Chloris Leachman was sort of funny in a “I can’t believe it’s Chloris Leachman saying that” way, Jon Lovitz was horrible, Jeffrey Ross killed, Norm McDonald was brilliant in a widely misunderstood bit, Susie Essman was doing jokes from the 70s that were old in the 50s, Brian Posehn was really funny, Jeff Garland (last minute stand-in for a Heroin Overdosing Artie Lange) was truly God-awful. Garland’s bit and delivery was one of the very worst pieces of comedy I’ve ever witnessed. Jim Norton was shockingly funny. Probably the best he ever did at a roast. John Stamos was a surprisingly decent MC – game and well-written. Gilbert Gottfried killed in ways that most comedians would die for. Overall, a pretty great night for everyone except Artie Lange.
Grade: A -
THE CHO SHOW (VH1)
I watched the episode where Cho and her gang went “off the grid.” This is the worst fucking half hour on TV. Not only that, it completely throws off any goodwill you might’ve once had for Cho. Her and her posse are pathetic and unfunny – worse yet – the show seems really badly scripted. With the exception of Cho’s occasional wit which somehow shines through here and again– this is the absolute pits.
Grade: D -
HOWARD TV – FRED’S WAXING (HOWARD TV)
Unlike the ARTIE HEROIN CONFESSION last week, which Howard TV reduced to a measly 40 minutes when on the radio it ran a mighty 2 hours and was one of the most scary/funny/real things EVER. Fred The Elephant Boy (now 50 – hardly a boy) was one of those instances where the TV segment was light years better and funnier than the radio segment. Fred made a bet with Howard that he could answer any question regarding the WWE (formerly the WWWF, the WWF – now the WWE) – but when Fred got one of these wrestling questions wrong, he had to undergo serious genital waxing. The waxing was shown in shocking graphic detail – there are disturbing images of The Elephant Boy that I will never forget – but this was probably one of the funniest segments I’d ever heard, and Fred’s sense of humor about the whole thing made the segment somehow a lot more lighthearted than you’d think male-genital-waxing might be. I also learned that in waxing, there is actually a spot called the “anus anus.” This is NOTHING you ever want waxed. Trust me on this one.
Grade: A
KITCHEN NIGHTMARES: LAST YEAR REVISITED (FOX)
Chef Gordon Ramsey went back and visited nearly every restaurant from his first season and shockingly –they are all in great shape since Gordon fixed their menus and kitchens. Absent were quite a few restaurants and one has to wonder if its because they were not success stories and didn’t want to participate. The fact that every single place remained successful was heartwarming but didn’t’ make for the most interesting TV.
Grade: B -
UPDATE: KITCHEN NIGHTMARES – SEASON PREMIERE (FOX)
So Gordon Ramsey came into this little mom and pop diner, mixed it up with a much surlier than expected diner owner, flipped out when he found out the chef was this woman who was a waitress who didn’t even want to be there – and yet – once again, Ramsey was able to transform the restaurant into that small town’s first gastropub (a phrase used a lot in NYC – gastropub means a pub for any kind of patron) and of course – he succeeded wildly. I really like this show and find every episode sort of fascinating in its own way. This edition was no exception. If you are really curious about the ins and outs of the food business, there is no better, entertaining show to watch than KITCHEN NIGHTMARES.
Grade: A
BIG BROTHER (CBS)
After the last strike-season’s batch of episodes, this one feels like a bad re-do. I know a lot of readers of this blog like this season’s edition – but I think the casting this year just wasn’t up to par. It’s a really boring, predictable, unlikable crew. Frankly, I was hoping for a Jerry win – just because it would be interesting to see a 75 year old win the whole thing – but this guy Memphis? He’s a bore. Maybe the most boring man ever to be on a reality show. I think of his face and I fall asleep.
Grade: C -
SWINGTOWN (CBS)
These had been sitting on my DVR for quite a while. I watched the first 8 or so over the last few weeks and have about 4 to go. The show has been cancelled already so this is more a post-mortem than a real review. The brief history of this show is that it was developed for SHOWTIME – they rejected it and it ended up on corporate partner CBS. Only they had to do the much less frank version of this tale of the swinging 70s. Grant Show plays the husband in an open marriage (he’s shockingly good and makes you forget his entire run on MELROSE PLACE.) Show is revelatory in this role as the airline pilot wife-swapping husband. His wife, played by Molly Parker, is the perfect sexy counterpoint to Show. She really has that 70s vibe about her. And they actually pull off appearing like a real 70s couple. Their new neighbors are straight-laced until they meet Show and Parker and do some partner-swapping in the pilot (a move which has not been repeated since the pilot) and their REALLY square neighbors from across town are pretty funny as the couple who can’t really figure out what’s going on. There are some other “forbidden love” stories on display here – one of the daughters is having a passionate affair with a teacher – that feels forced and dated. The juice here is in the swapping couples and their soap-opera like lives. Frankly, there’s nothing really that wild going on here in this CBS version – however – it IS racy for a network show – and – the cast is game and uniformly excellent. Whoever plays “Janet” is brilliant, sorry I don’t know her name – and I will miss this key party when it ends.
Grade: B +
The opening sketch with Tina Fey playing Sarah Palin was weird in the sense that for the last few weeks everybody noticed how much Palin resembles Fey, imagined Fey doing the impression – and then it was on TV and it was kind of like – exactly what you had in your head. Like the viewers had written the opening sketch – but it was still kind of funny – though every single sketch that followed bombed huge. Michael Phelps could not have been worse – and SNL’s decision to have the important political season start out with Phelps at the helm reminded me why Seth Myers is their head writer.
Grade: D
GLAM GOD (VH1)
GLAM continues to be one of the more entertaining offerings on VH1. In their 3rd of 8 episodes, this is the one that really took off. The challenge this time around was really fun, and guess who brought home the gold – Jess Zaino! But the real story might’ve been Kiki’s insane drinking and chanting and raging – the man is a drunk, albeit one of the most entertaining ones I’ve ever seen. If you are not watching this show, you are missing one of the finer reality shows of the moment.
Grade: A
THE HEARTBREAK KID (HBO)
I happen to catch this on HBO the other night. Way better than you’ve heard, it takes a huge misstep about half way through and never recovers. This was the summer comedy last year that was to mark the return of Ben Stiller and The Farrely Brothers – but somewhere on this one something went wrong. The first half is legitimately funny. There is a great joke about the new couple and the bathroom that made me laugh out loud but is too raunchy to repeat here. Then the movie takes a really shitty turn and just keeps getting shittier until it unveils one of the shittiest endings ever. But the first half is funny.
Grade: C
Speaking of shit, why did ABC pick the 5 biggest shitheads on TV to host the Emmys when they had other great choices – like, say – the guy that does the late night talk show on their own network, who would’ve been superb?
And speaking of comedy, ROLLING STONE did it’s big COMEDY issue this month. How do you do a comedy issue with people like Dane Cook and Craig Ferguson – not to mention star of the unwatchable vh1 show – Margaret Cho – funny to those only who are stuck in the mid-90s – this issue was ok but really – how do you do the COMEDY issue and not include Howard Stern and Jimmy Kimmel? By the way, Dane Cook talks as if he’s Richard Pryor and knows every in and out of the comedy biz. Dane Cook? I mean – Cook looks like a nice enough guy and he’s pleasant to watch at times – horrifyingly unfunny many other times – his new film BEST FRIEND’S GIRL looks like it just might be the worst thing ever committed to celluloid – but he’s in ROLLING STONE as a comedy EXPERT? The only thing the issue got right was in excluding Jay Leno from almost any talk of comedy – since Jay took over the Tonight Show – he seems to have made a rule about no actual laughs on the show – so I guess that sort of worked out.
One thing that came out of the issue that was really surprising to me – they interviewed the still great David Letterman – who revealed that Johnny Carson – after his retirement, was a sometimes contributor to the Letterman show for many years after Johnny’s “retirement.” The only other shocking thing in this issue was that Billy Crystal actually believes that today – in 2008 – the funniest movie ever made – the funniest film EVER – is…..SOME LIKE IT HOT.
Good night, Billy. You had a great run being relevant, that “mahvalous” shtick in the 80s was awesome - but it seems your wish of being a dotty old comedian with weird ideas about comedy has arrived not a moment too soon. Truly – after that Rolling Stone statement and the bit on the HBO telethon with you doing an old black musician which you recited in some kind of retarded Louie Armstrong dialect, maybe it’s time to admit that it’s over. If you can’t admit it to yourself, watch Mr. Saturday Night (a film you made when you were “hot”) and the answer should be depressingly clear.
Lastly, in this issue I learned that Arsenio Hall is responsible for discovering George Lopez. At least now we know who to blame. Did Arsenio Hall die last year?
Kobe Bryant did a rare talk-show appearance on Kimmel the other night and seems like the weirdest dude in basketball. But watching Uncle Frank use $234 dollars to make a salmon skin and shrimp cocktail sauce pizza was worth the price of admission.
MTV VMAS (MTV)
Brittney Spears turned into a robot. She was so afraid of slipping – instead of being herself – she pretended the last 3 years didn’t happen. It almost worked. What a major fucking weirdo. That host guy – English dude with long hair – can’t think of his name - maybe he’s funny otherwise – but he particularly sucked. Anyway – I ended up tuning out pretty quickly.
THE ROAST OF BOB SAGET (COMEDY CENTRAL)
A mixed bag but largely successful. My individual reviews: Greg Giraldo was funny, Chloris Leachman was sort of funny in a “I can’t believe it’s Chloris Leachman saying that” way, Jon Lovitz was horrible, Jeffrey Ross killed, Norm McDonald was brilliant in a widely misunderstood bit, Susie Essman was doing jokes from the 70s that were old in the 50s, Brian Posehn was really funny, Jeff Garland (last minute stand-in for a Heroin Overdosing Artie Lange) was truly God-awful. Garland’s bit and delivery was one of the very worst pieces of comedy I’ve ever witnessed. Jim Norton was shockingly funny. Probably the best he ever did at a roast. John Stamos was a surprisingly decent MC – game and well-written. Gilbert Gottfried killed in ways that most comedians would die for. Overall, a pretty great night for everyone except Artie Lange.
Grade: A -
THE CHO SHOW (VH1)
I watched the episode where Cho and her gang went “off the grid.” This is the worst fucking half hour on TV. Not only that, it completely throws off any goodwill you might’ve once had for Cho. Her and her posse are pathetic and unfunny – worse yet – the show seems really badly scripted. With the exception of Cho’s occasional wit which somehow shines through here and again– this is the absolute pits.
Grade: D -
HOWARD TV – FRED’S WAXING (HOWARD TV)
Unlike the ARTIE HEROIN CONFESSION last week, which Howard TV reduced to a measly 40 minutes when on the radio it ran a mighty 2 hours and was one of the most scary/funny/real things EVER. Fred The Elephant Boy (now 50 – hardly a boy) was one of those instances where the TV segment was light years better and funnier than the radio segment. Fred made a bet with Howard that he could answer any question regarding the WWE (formerly the WWWF, the WWF – now the WWE) – but when Fred got one of these wrestling questions wrong, he had to undergo serious genital waxing. The waxing was shown in shocking graphic detail – there are disturbing images of The Elephant Boy that I will never forget – but this was probably one of the funniest segments I’d ever heard, and Fred’s sense of humor about the whole thing made the segment somehow a lot more lighthearted than you’d think male-genital-waxing might be. I also learned that in waxing, there is actually a spot called the “anus anus.” This is NOTHING you ever want waxed. Trust me on this one.
Grade: A
KITCHEN NIGHTMARES: LAST YEAR REVISITED (FOX)
Chef Gordon Ramsey went back and visited nearly every restaurant from his first season and shockingly –they are all in great shape since Gordon fixed their menus and kitchens. Absent were quite a few restaurants and one has to wonder if its because they were not success stories and didn’t want to participate. The fact that every single place remained successful was heartwarming but didn’t’ make for the most interesting TV.
Grade: B -
UPDATE: KITCHEN NIGHTMARES – SEASON PREMIERE (FOX)
So Gordon Ramsey came into this little mom and pop diner, mixed it up with a much surlier than expected diner owner, flipped out when he found out the chef was this woman who was a waitress who didn’t even want to be there – and yet – once again, Ramsey was able to transform the restaurant into that small town’s first gastropub (a phrase used a lot in NYC – gastropub means a pub for any kind of patron) and of course – he succeeded wildly. I really like this show and find every episode sort of fascinating in its own way. This edition was no exception. If you are really curious about the ins and outs of the food business, there is no better, entertaining show to watch than KITCHEN NIGHTMARES.
Grade: A
BIG BROTHER (CBS)
After the last strike-season’s batch of episodes, this one feels like a bad re-do. I know a lot of readers of this blog like this season’s edition – but I think the casting this year just wasn’t up to par. It’s a really boring, predictable, unlikable crew. Frankly, I was hoping for a Jerry win – just because it would be interesting to see a 75 year old win the whole thing – but this guy Memphis? He’s a bore. Maybe the most boring man ever to be on a reality show. I think of his face and I fall asleep.
Grade: C -
SWINGTOWN (CBS)
These had been sitting on my DVR for quite a while. I watched the first 8 or so over the last few weeks and have about 4 to go. The show has been cancelled already so this is more a post-mortem than a real review. The brief history of this show is that it was developed for SHOWTIME – they rejected it and it ended up on corporate partner CBS. Only they had to do the much less frank version of this tale of the swinging 70s. Grant Show plays the husband in an open marriage (he’s shockingly good and makes you forget his entire run on MELROSE PLACE.) Show is revelatory in this role as the airline pilot wife-swapping husband. His wife, played by Molly Parker, is the perfect sexy counterpoint to Show. She really has that 70s vibe about her. And they actually pull off appearing like a real 70s couple. Their new neighbors are straight-laced until they meet Show and Parker and do some partner-swapping in the pilot (a move which has not been repeated since the pilot) and their REALLY square neighbors from across town are pretty funny as the couple who can’t really figure out what’s going on. There are some other “forbidden love” stories on display here – one of the daughters is having a passionate affair with a teacher – that feels forced and dated. The juice here is in the swapping couples and their soap-opera like lives. Frankly, there’s nothing really that wild going on here in this CBS version – however – it IS racy for a network show – and – the cast is game and uniformly excellent. Whoever plays “Janet” is brilliant, sorry I don’t know her name – and I will miss this key party when it ends.
Grade: B +
2008/09/06
Some New Reviews.
GLAM GOD (VH1)
Continues to be really fun. This week the stylists had to fix up an up and coming star for her big red carpet affair – I don’t think any of the teams really hit it out of the park – Vivica Fox did not seem pleased – but then again – she often does not look pleased. This is a LOT of fun – and best of all - J.Z. – still very much in the mix!
Minor complaint: Not enough JZ!
Grade: A
OUTSIDERS INN (CMT)
Maybe the most stupid, inane and slightly entertaining reason for a show. Yet, I’m addicted. CMT is basically going the VH1 route by taking elements from last season’s highly successful “GONE COUNTRY”, taking the 3 most compelling characters (Bobby Brown, surprisingly sober, Marcia Brady (I forget her real name) and Carnie Wilson – who is big, loud, obnoxious and so unfunny it’s kind of funny. This weeks episode focused in on her hemeroid (I’m NOT kidding.) It’s very scripted and feels like a bad version of FAULTY TOWERS – but I like it. Maybe Carnie’s hemoriod will win an Emmy this year.
Grade: C +
GONE COUNTRY (CMT)
The 2nd season of this show (last season was great) threatens to be one of the all time greatest reality shows of all time. In just 3 eps, Irene Cara walked off the show, Lorenzo Lamas sang like an actual Lama – Sean Young got drunk and insane – even for her. (I know we’ve all heard she’s crazy – but it was nice to FINALLY see the actual evidence.) And the wisest man in the room appears to be Sebastian Bach from Skid Row. This show is DA BOMB.
Grade: A
PS – Jermaine Jackson might be the sweatiest man alive.
THE GONG SHOW w/DAVE ATTEL (COM)
Outragous, funny, and utterly pointless. I mean – we’ve seen this done better – the comics are fun – Attel is quasi-funny – but really – there is no need for this except some decent comics can get some decent paychecks. I guess.
MAD MEN (AMC)
I can’t even review this show because it is always full of such surprise, wit, tension – not to mention – the hands-down best dialog on television – plus - Jon Hamm as Don Draper is absolutely riveting. This last episode with the car accident was reminiscent in a good way of THE SOPRANOS never ending bag of tricks. The reveal with why Peggy helped in the situation was just – this show is really fucking good. This second season is proving as deep as the first while furthering the characters even more. I love this show so much it hurts. MAD MEN is not only Da Bomb – it’s a pipe bomb.
Grade: A +
THE SUBURBANS (MAX)
This is a comedy about an 80s band that – with the help of people like Amy Brenneman, Ben Stiller, Will Ferrel and many more – including Jennifer Luv Hewitt – stage a major comeback in the MTV era. I think this movie is from the 90s but it feels like it was made in the 80s. By Dennis Dugan. On a really bad day.
Grade: F
RESCUE ME “MiniSodes”
Two more – SMOKES and one that was so forgettable I have no idea or memory of what happened. But I did like SMOKE – which featured 4 minutes of an insane firefight, than ended with the firefighters all lighting up as they watched the building burn.
I’m pretty behind on a lot of stuff – will try and get more reviews out mon/tues – Digital Couch.
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