SNL returns, Bob Saget on the hotseat and SWINGTOWN swings!

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (NBC)
The opening sketch with Tina Fey playing Sarah Palin was weird in the sense that for the last few weeks everybody noticed how much Palin resembles Fey, imagined Fey doing the impression – and then it was on TV and it was kind of like – exactly what you had in your head. Like the viewers had written the opening sketch – but it was still kind of funny – though every single sketch that followed bombed huge. Michael Phelps could not have been worse – and SNL’s decision to have the important political season start out with Phelps at the helm reminded me why Seth Myers is their head writer.
Grade: D


GLAM GOD (VH1)
GLAM continues to be one of the more entertaining offerings on VH1. In their 3rd of 8 episodes, this is the one that really took off. The challenge this time around was really fun, and guess who brought home the gold – Jess Zaino! But the real story might’ve been Kiki’s insane drinking and chanting and raging – the man is a drunk, albeit one of the most entertaining ones I’ve ever seen. If you are not watching this show, you are missing one of the finer reality shows of the moment.
Grade: A


THE HEARTBREAK KID (HBO)
I happen to catch this on HBO the other night. Way better than you’ve heard, it takes a huge misstep about half way through and never recovers. This was the summer comedy last year that was to mark the return of Ben Stiller and The Farrely Brothers – but somewhere on this one something went wrong. The first half is legitimately funny. There is a great joke about the new couple and the bathroom that made me laugh out loud but is too raunchy to repeat here. Then the movie takes a really shitty turn and just keeps getting shittier until it unveils one of the shittiest endings ever. But the first half is funny.
Grade: C

Speaking of shit, why did ABC pick the 5 biggest shitheads on TV to host the Emmys when they had other great choices – like, say – the guy that does the late night talk show on their own network, who would’ve been superb?

And speaking of comedy, ROLLING STONE did it’s big COMEDY issue this month. How do you do a comedy issue with people like Dane Cook and Craig Ferguson – not to mention star of the unwatchable vh1 show – Margaret Cho – funny to those only who are stuck in the mid-90s – this issue was ok but really – how do you do the COMEDY issue and not include Howard Stern and Jimmy Kimmel? By the way, Dane Cook talks as if he’s Richard Pryor and knows every in and out of the comedy biz. Dane Cook? I mean – Cook looks like a nice enough guy and he’s pleasant to watch at times – horrifyingly unfunny many other times – his new film BEST FRIEND’S GIRL looks like it just might be the worst thing ever committed to celluloid – but he’s in ROLLING STONE as a comedy EXPERT? The only thing the issue got right was in excluding Jay Leno from almost any talk of comedy – since Jay took over the Tonight Show – he seems to have made a rule about no actual laughs on the show – so I guess that sort of worked out.

One thing that came out of the issue that was really surprising to me – they interviewed the still great David Letterman – who revealed that Johnny Carson – after his retirement, was a sometimes contributor to the Letterman show for many years after Johnny’s “retirement.” The only other shocking thing in this issue was that Billy Crystal actually believes that today – in 2008 – the funniest movie ever made – the funniest film EVER – is…..SOME LIKE IT HOT.

Good night, Billy. You had a great run being relevant, that “mahvalous” shtick in the 80s was awesome - but it seems your wish of being a dotty old comedian with weird ideas about comedy has arrived not a moment too soon. Truly – after that Rolling Stone statement and the bit on the HBO telethon with you doing an old black musician which you recited in some kind of retarded Louie Armstrong dialect, maybe it’s time to admit that it’s over. If you can’t admit it to yourself, watch Mr. Saturday Night (a film you made when you were “hot”) and the answer should be depressingly clear.

Lastly, in this issue I learned that Arsenio Hall is responsible for discovering George Lopez. At least now we know who to blame. Did Arsenio Hall die last year?

Kobe Bryant did a rare talk-show appearance on Kimmel the other night and seems like the weirdest dude in basketball. But watching Uncle Frank use $234 dollars to make a salmon skin and shrimp cocktail sauce pizza was worth the price of admission.


MTV VMAS (MTV)
Brittney Spears turned into a robot. She was so afraid of slipping – instead of being herself – she pretended the last 3 years didn’t happen. It almost worked. What a major fucking weirdo. That host guy – English dude with long hair – can’t think of his name - maybe he’s funny otherwise – but he particularly sucked. Anyway – I ended up tuning out pretty quickly.


THE ROAST OF BOB SAGET (COMEDY CENTRAL)
A mixed bag but largely successful. My individual reviews: Greg Giraldo was funny, Chloris Leachman was sort of funny in a “I can’t believe it’s Chloris Leachman saying that” way, Jon Lovitz was horrible, Jeffrey Ross killed, Norm McDonald was brilliant in a widely misunderstood bit, Susie Essman was doing jokes from the 70s that were old in the 50s, Brian Posehn was really funny, Jeff Garland (last minute stand-in for a Heroin Overdosing Artie Lange) was truly God-awful. Garland’s bit and delivery was one of the very worst pieces of comedy I’ve ever witnessed. Jim Norton was shockingly funny. Probably the best he ever did at a roast. John Stamos was a surprisingly decent MC – game and well-written. Gilbert Gottfried killed in ways that most comedians would die for. Overall, a pretty great night for everyone except Artie Lange.
Grade: A -


THE CHO SHOW (VH1)
I watched the episode where Cho and her gang went “off the grid.” This is the worst fucking half hour on TV. Not only that, it completely throws off any goodwill you might’ve once had for Cho. Her and her posse are pathetic and unfunny – worse yet – the show seems really badly scripted. With the exception of Cho’s occasional wit which somehow shines through here and again– this is the absolute pits.
Grade: D -


HOWARD TV – FRED’S WAXING (HOWARD TV)
Unlike the ARTIE HEROIN CONFESSION last week, which Howard TV reduced to a measly 40 minutes when on the radio it ran a mighty 2 hours and was one of the most scary/funny/real things EVER. Fred The Elephant Boy (now 50 – hardly a boy) was one of those instances where the TV segment was light years better and funnier than the radio segment. Fred made a bet with Howard that he could answer any question regarding the WWE (formerly the WWWF, the WWF – now the WWE) – but when Fred got one of these wrestling questions wrong, he had to undergo serious genital waxing. The waxing was shown in shocking graphic detail – there are disturbing images of The Elephant Boy that I will never forget – but this was probably one of the funniest segments I’d ever heard, and Fred’s sense of humor about the whole thing made the segment somehow a lot more lighthearted than you’d think male-genital-waxing might be. I also learned that in waxing, there is actually a spot called the “anus anus.” This is NOTHING you ever want waxed. Trust me on this one.
Grade: A


KITCHEN NIGHTMARES: LAST YEAR REVISITED (FOX)
Chef Gordon Ramsey went back and visited nearly every restaurant from his first season and shockingly –they are all in great shape since Gordon fixed their menus and kitchens. Absent were quite a few restaurants and one has to wonder if its because they were not success stories and didn’t want to participate. The fact that every single place remained successful was heartwarming but didn’t’ make for the most interesting TV.
Grade: B -

UPDATE: KITCHEN NIGHTMARES – SEASON PREMIERE (FOX)
So Gordon Ramsey came into this little mom and pop diner, mixed it up with a much surlier than expected diner owner, flipped out when he found out the chef was this woman who was a waitress who didn’t even want to be there – and yet – once again, Ramsey was able to transform the restaurant into that small town’s first gastropub (a phrase used a lot in NYC – gastropub means a pub for any kind of patron) and of course – he succeeded wildly. I really like this show and find every episode sort of fascinating in its own way. This edition was no exception. If you are really curious about the ins and outs of the food business, there is no better, entertaining show to watch than KITCHEN NIGHTMARES.
Grade: A


BIG BROTHER (CBS)
After the last strike-season’s batch of episodes, this one feels like a bad re-do. I know a lot of readers of this blog like this season’s edition – but I think the casting this year just wasn’t up to par. It’s a really boring, predictable, unlikable crew. Frankly, I was hoping for a Jerry win – just because it would be interesting to see a 75 year old win the whole thing – but this guy Memphis? He’s a bore. Maybe the most boring man ever to be on a reality show. I think of his face and I fall asleep.
Grade: C -


SWINGTOWN (CBS)
These had been sitting on my DVR for quite a while. I watched the first 8 or so over the last few weeks and have about 4 to go. The show has been cancelled already so this is more a post-mortem than a real review. The brief history of this show is that it was developed for SHOWTIME – they rejected it and it ended up on corporate partner CBS. Only they had to do the much less frank version of this tale of the swinging 70s. Grant Show plays the husband in an open marriage (he’s shockingly good and makes you forget his entire run on MELROSE PLACE.) Show is revelatory in this role as the airline pilot wife-swapping husband. His wife, played by Molly Parker, is the perfect sexy counterpoint to Show. She really has that 70s vibe about her. And they actually pull off appearing like a real 70s couple. Their new neighbors are straight-laced until they meet Show and Parker and do some partner-swapping in the pilot (a move which has not been repeated since the pilot) and their REALLY square neighbors from across town are pretty funny as the couple who can’t really figure out what’s going on. There are some other “forbidden love” stories on display here – one of the daughters is having a passionate affair with a teacher – that feels forced and dated. The juice here is in the swapping couples and their soap-opera like lives. Frankly, there’s nothing really that wild going on here in this CBS version – however – it IS racy for a network show – and – the cast is game and uniformly excellent. Whoever plays “Janet” is brilliant, sorry I don’t know her name – and I will miss this key party when it ends.
Grade: B +