SNL: MATTHEW FOX & TENASCIOUS D (NBC)
Mathew Fox was game but the skits were not, as usual. This is truly a season that rivals the one that Anthony Michael Hall and Robert Downy Jr. were in. It's just that bad. Even the once unflappable WEEKEND UPDATE has come to a grinding halt - Amy Poehler is great, but you can't make Seth Myers funny no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try - he sucks so bad it truly boggles the mind that he's still on the show, now the head writer, and has single handedly made UPDATE obsolete. Fuck Seth Myers. He seems like a nice enough guy, but let him work at Sam Goody. This is god awful tv. And the usually great Tenacious D, ironically, don't rock quite as hard when they have a full band behind them and they try so hard. A fucked Saturday night.
Grade: D (for the D)
F (for the show)
F - (for Seth Myers)
Help me - still haunted by Billy Crystal's racist impression of a black man during COMIC RELIEF - Michael Richard's has nothing on this guy - believe me - every time Crystal did that cliche'd black smile - people across America were killing themselves because they were embarrassed for him.
JUSTICE (ABC)
Even though ABC is just burning off these episodes, from what I understand, this great series is canceled. Justice had it all for a self-contained hour - usually juicy plots, credible cases, a star in Victor Gabor and a good supporting cast - including Eamonn Walker (Said from OZ) - and best of all, after the verdict is read, we see what really happened at the crime scene.
Justice, there is no justice. You will be missed. See the remaining eps while you can.
Grade: B +
SUPERMAN RETURNS: THE MOVIE (DVD) (Spoilers - sorry)
When I went to see this in the theatre, me and The Girl walked out after the first hour because NOTHING HAPPENED. It looked great, but really - NOTHING HAPPENED. So I got the dvd on Netflix, determined to finish the film but NOTHING HAPPENS. So we rode the fast forward on the dvd - seeing some very impressive flying sequences and some bad acting from the new Lois Lane and her husband (Brandon Routh as Superman is alright - he was just in need of a script.) Even the direction wasn't bad - it was just boring. And to top it all off - the plot makes NO SENSE. Superman says he was gone for 3 years because he heard his planet was still going, then returned to find nothing. Okay, in SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE we watched Superman circle the earth about a billion times in 30 seconds to turn back time. So why would it take him 3 years to find his planet? And why did Superman die 4 times in this movie? And why, when he was stabbed by an almost-menacing Lex Luthor (Spacey is ok, but could've REALLY done without Parker Posey and her Pomeranian yelping at him - talk about de-fanging your villain - the funny thing is - I think the first 2 Superman movies did the same thing by sticking Gene Hackman with some awful actress to bring in "the comedy." Wow, it doesn't work. I was waiting for Billy Crystal to walk in and give that stupid racially charged smile he did on COMIC RELIEF and talk about what it was like before SUPERMAN. Anyway - So Superman dies after Lex stabs him with the kryptonite (although - why would Lex then take it back out?) - then Superman falls into the water. The water, which just happens to be manned by an underwater helicopter driving by Lois Lane and her "seri-comic" new husband! They save him, yeah!!!! While I admire Bryan Singer's efforts to bring the franchise back to life, all he did was stab him with krypton again. This movie is the fucking pits.
Grade: F + (since the heart was in the right place.)
CLASSIC ALBUMS: NIRVANA: NEVERMIND (VH1)
If you're into the albums they're profiling, it doesn't get much better then having the producers and singers (when available) go back to the mixing board and wax on about the making of the album. Stellar, as always.
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH ULTIMATE ALBUMS - the US version, which fucked up the entire concept - forgetting about the album and just making the hour about the artist like any VH1 puff piece - STAY AWAY from ULTIMATE ALBUMS - it's shit. It's shit.
Grade: A
BABEL (DVD)
Me and The Girl watched the dvd of this last night - this year's CRASH. A multitude of stories, almost all, but one, compelling as hell. Brad Pitt gives a great performance, as does the rest of the mostly unknown actors. Though it doesn't quite have the same emotional impact as some of these movies do, it's a damn fine way to spend 2 1/2 hours (it's still in theaters - I had a screener.) The one story I don't believe - the most adorable Asian deaf girl who JUST COULDN"T GET ANYONE TO HAVE SEX WITH HER. While she was certainly fun to look at - the idea that this young model-like girl couldn't get anyone to like her was truly ridiculous and can only happen in the movies.
Grade: B +
HOWARD TV: ARTIE'S DATE DISCUSSION (ON DEMAND)
Okay, maybe I'm biased - but me and The Girl both were floored by the discussion of Artie Lange's date with the girl who won a date with Artie on the radio show. He spent the entire time talking about food, then ordered a rhinoceros burger, then took all of his own, and her food home in a doggy bag. I'm not kidding. Unbelievable. And mostly any one of these ON DEMAND shows is funnier then just about any sitcom you were going to watch instead.
Grade: A
PRISON BREAK (FOX - The Finale')
Thrilling as always - the momentum is crazy, the plot twist are insane, and T-Bag might be the greatest villain in the history of network tv, ever.
Grade: A
AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL (THE CW)
I think the finale is on tonite - if Melrose wins, there is no God.
Grade: B -
IKE & TINA TURNER IN 71 (PBS)
VERY COOL. Watching a young Tina Turner do RIVER DEEP, MOUNTAIN HIGH is an experience you don't soon forget. And when Ike wasn't beating her, she really shined.
Grade: A
HARD CANDY (DVD)
Just saw this movie on dvd - highly recommended. But not for the squeamish. It begins on a titilating note as a youngish 38 year old man meets a 14 year old girl in a coffee shop after engaging in some soft internet chat. She teases him until they get back to his place. I won't spoil what happens - but this is one of the much better acted and directed movies in the last year and now that it's on dvd, it's a must see. The girl who plays the 14 year old - solid gold. Lots of great extras and a lesson on how to make a small independent film with no money.
Grade: A
Even though ABC is just burning off these episodes, from what I understand, this great series is canceled. Justice had it all for a self-contained hour - usually juicy plots, credible cases, a star in Victor Gabor and a good supporting cast - including Eamonn Walker (Said from OZ) - and best of all, after the verdict is read, we see what really happened at the crime scene.
Justice, there is no justice. You will be missed. See the remaining eps while you can.
Grade: B +
SUPERMAN RETURNS: THE MOVIE (DVD) (Spoilers - sorry)
When I went to see this in the theatre, me and The Girl walked out after the first hour because NOTHING HAPPENED. It looked great, but really - NOTHING HAPPENED. So I got the dvd on Netflix, determined to finish the film but NOTHING HAPPENS. So we rode the fast forward on the dvd - seeing some very impressive flying sequences and some bad acting from the new Lois Lane and her husband (Brandon Routh as Superman is alright - he was just in need of a script.) Even the direction wasn't bad - it was just boring. And to top it all off - the plot makes NO SENSE. Superman says he was gone for 3 years because he heard his planet was still going, then returned to find nothing. Okay, in SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE we watched Superman circle the earth about a billion times in 30 seconds to turn back time. So why would it take him 3 years to find his planet? And why did Superman die 4 times in this movie? And why, when he was stabbed by an almost-menacing Lex Luthor (Spacey is ok, but could've REALLY done without Parker Posey and her Pomeranian yelping at him - talk about de-fanging your villain - the funny thing is - I think the first 2 Superman movies did the same thing by sticking Gene Hackman with some awful actress to bring in "the comedy." Wow, it doesn't work. I was waiting for Billy Crystal to walk in and give that stupid racially charged smile he did on COMIC RELIEF and talk about what it was like before SUPERMAN. Anyway - So Superman dies after Lex stabs him with the kryptonite (although - why would Lex then take it back out?) - then Superman falls into the water. The water, which just happens to be manned by an underwater helicopter driving by Lois Lane and her "seri-comic" new husband! They save him, yeah!!!! While I admire Bryan Singer's efforts to bring the franchise back to life, all he did was stab him with krypton again. This movie is the fucking pits.
Grade: F + (since the heart was in the right place.)
CLASSIC ALBUMS: NIRVANA: NEVERMIND (VH1)
If you're into the albums they're profiling, it doesn't get much better then having the producers and singers (when available) go back to the mixing board and wax on about the making of the album. Stellar, as always.
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH ULTIMATE ALBUMS - the US version, which fucked up the entire concept - forgetting about the album and just making the hour about the artist like any VH1 puff piece - STAY AWAY from ULTIMATE ALBUMS - it's shit. It's shit.
Grade: A
BABEL (DVD)
Me and The Girl watched the dvd of this last night - this year's CRASH. A multitude of stories, almost all, but one, compelling as hell. Brad Pitt gives a great performance, as does the rest of the mostly unknown actors. Though it doesn't quite have the same emotional impact as some of these movies do, it's a damn fine way to spend 2 1/2 hours (it's still in theaters - I had a screener.) The one story I don't believe - the most adorable Asian deaf girl who JUST COULDN"T GET ANYONE TO HAVE SEX WITH HER. While she was certainly fun to look at - the idea that this young model-like girl couldn't get anyone to like her was truly ridiculous and can only happen in the movies.
Grade: B +
HOWARD TV: ARTIE'S DATE DISCUSSION (ON DEMAND)
Okay, maybe I'm biased - but me and The Girl both were floored by the discussion of Artie Lange's date with the girl who won a date with Artie on the radio show. He spent the entire time talking about food, then ordered a rhinoceros burger, then took all of his own, and her food home in a doggy bag. I'm not kidding. Unbelievable. And mostly any one of these ON DEMAND shows is funnier then just about any sitcom you were going to watch instead.
Grade: A
PRISON BREAK (FOX - The Finale')
Thrilling as always - the momentum is crazy, the plot twist are insane, and T-Bag might be the greatest villain in the history of network tv, ever.
Grade: A
AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL (THE CW)
I think the finale is on tonite - if Melrose wins, there is no God.
Grade: B -
IKE & TINA TURNER IN 71 (PBS)
VERY COOL. Watching a young Tina Turner do RIVER DEEP, MOUNTAIN HIGH is an experience you don't soon forget. And when Ike wasn't beating her, she really shined.
Grade: A
HARD CANDY (DVD)
Just saw this movie on dvd - highly recommended. But not for the squeamish. It begins on a titilating note as a youngish 38 year old man meets a 14 year old girl in a coffee shop after engaging in some soft internet chat. She teases him until they get back to his place. I won't spoil what happens - but this is one of the much better acted and directed movies in the last year and now that it's on dvd, it's a must see. The girl who plays the 14 year old - solid gold. Lots of great extras and a lesson on how to make a small independent film with no money.
Grade: A
I thought Babel was the best movie I've seen so far this year, and the story of the deaf-mute Japanese teenager hit me the hardest .. i guess everyone reacts differently
ReplyDeleteHard Candy--With the little red hoodie, I expected that girl to ride off on a bike with E.T. Sorry, but no 14 year-old is that self-possessed.
ReplyDeleteI see no Boston Legal here.
ReplyDelete