Sarah, Sarah, Sarah!

THE SARAH SILVERMAN SHOW (COM)
Clocked in with her best show to date. Sarah goes for an AIDS test, only to jump the gun and decide she has the disease before getting the results. One of the many, great, sublime moments had Sarah, post test, passing the mustard to her sister and commenting sadly, "So yellow." This was laugh out loud funny and uniquely different from EVERYTHING on the air currently. No wonder Comedy Central picked up the show for 2 more 7 episode seasons after just airing 2 episodes and getting 1.7 million viewers (huge for Comedy Central.) And of course - who predicted this: THE DIGITAL COUCH. But seriously, watch this latest episode. It's genius from beginning to end. Sarah has never been better, funnier or more confident. And the stuff with Laura Silverman and her boyfriend cop gets funnier every week. If you haven't noticed, I kind of like this show.
Grade: A +

30 ROCK (NBC)
Tracey Jordan gets some depth in an almost funny storyline with Alec Baldwin, and Liz is called the C word in a less then hilarious outing.
Grade: B -


THE OFFICE (NBC)
Continues it's D.I.H. (Descent into Hell) as they display subtle, nimble humor (the presentations given by Michael and BJ Noveck,) and display huge gaps of credibility (not only that Jim was pretending to be a Vampire, but Dwight was buying into it.) The documentary crew has all but dissapeared as a result of the increasingly out of place absurdities in a show that's supposed to be about everyday life at an office.

There are major creative problems here and after a great first season, a stellar 2nd season - THE OFFICE AMERICA has now just about hit the rails in this latest episode. The shame here is that this was one of the best comedies on tv up until this year. But characters like Dwight and Angela and their over the top acting styles have rendered both characters useless. And the show has realy increased its reliance on sitcom-like plots and devices. Any day now they'll add a laugh track. They might as well. That Pam is back with Roy - and he would be SUCH an obvious asshole - and that she would so obviously be not into it - is bad writing.

They could've been clever and had Roy grow a bit. But anyone watching will quickly realize that this love triangle is becoming awfully easy to call. Can this show be saved? Maybe. But it's currently showing no signs of life.

And this season, the 3rd, is when many great shows have their ABBY ROAD season. This was not one of them.
Grade: C -


HOWARD TV: ON DEMAND:
BEETLEJUICE DEPRESSED
BeetleJuice, usually so full of life and anger, found himself in the studio, suicidaly depressed (speculation was that he was upset he had to leave Sean's house and go back to living with his mother.) It was a rare display of the beating heart that is the very soul of the Stern show. A strangely serious episode that was very reassuring in it's message.
Grade: A

ARTIE'S BIG SCORE
Just a discussion of Artie hooking up in Vegas that had me laughing from beginning to end. Artie is just this great funny tragic figure. The fact that his sex life is now fodder for great comedy only adds to the tragedy.
Grade: B +

SAL'S MARITAL CONFFESSIONS (RADIO SHOW ONLY)
As harrowing and painful as any Ingmar Bergman film on the subject of Marriage. Sal plays audio tapes he secretly recorded at home during a picture taking session. It sounds like suburban hell. How Sal has sex is something that I've never heard of in my life.
Grade: A

JEFF, THE VOMIT GUY
Paris Gables was beautiful. What she did over Jeff, the vomit guy, was not. I don't want to really describe here what happened - I don't want to ruin anyone's day. If you really want to know - ask me in the COMMENTS SECTION. But as compelling as Paris was, it was Jeff, The Vomit Guy who stole the show with his Woody Allen-esque delivery, his uncompromising look at various sexual acts, and his general good humored demeanor. Completely vile. And hilarious. Grade: B +


HOWARD MARRIAGE RAP
Very funny considering Howard has recently proposed to longtime girlfriend Beth O. Personally, I'm happy about it - and this blog wishes Howard and Beth the absolute best in their marital life. However, hearing Howard rant about marriage in the old KROQ tapes, saying, just 2 years ago, that to be married in this day and age "you'd have to be fucking retarded" - that is the best wedding gift of all. The King of All Media is FINALLY getting some well deserved shit and those tapes that he fought so hard for are now here to bite him right in his ass. It's an absolute delight hearing Howard cringe, and I think this new twist to Howard's life will add a whole new chapter to this never ending soap opera that in now better then ever. If you've ever thought about subscribing to Sirious Radio, it's the least money you'll ever spend on some of the truly best entertainment ever. For Howard Stern fans, this is nirvana.
Grade: A +

If you don't recieve the HOWARD STERN show - you have no excuse. Go HERE:
http://shop.sirius.com/


LOST (ABC)
An episode with most of the characters we love and none of THE OTHERS. The problem is it now seems a bit quaint compared to what else is going on at the other island. Nonetheless, this show is very much back on creative track and I'm glad they seem to have some surprises in store for us.
Grade: B


THE REAL WORLD: DENVER (MTV)
Even though I'm somewhat bored at this point by the mostly retarded cast, I do like Stephen and I kind of like David (even though he's the guy that broke up Lance and whatshisname!) - but this was the furthest MTV ever went in showing an actual gay relationship without pretense or bullshit.
Grade: B


THE BAD GIRL'S CLUB (OXYGEN)
Foget the REAL WORLD. These girls are fucking CRAZY.
Grade: A


THE WHITE RAPPER SHOW (VH1)
Dwindles down to 5 rappers - my money was on Persia, and now that she's bounced - I don't think I care who wins.
Grade: C +


ELLEN w/JENNIFER HUDSON (Synd)
Had Jennifer Hudson. Let's talk about Mrs. Hudson for a moment. I love her. I think she's beautiful, has a great voice, bubbly personality - however, I've now watched about 8 different interviews with her where she does the same exact thing - she thanks God, she makes some really horrible jokes, (the extent and scope of her bad jokes and quips and asides cannot be minimized - she's a borderline SNL sketch) and she can't believe what's happening to her!

I think she's had an incredible year - but does she have any depth? Does she have any interesting insight as to her journey? Can she be that simple? I still love her, but maybe time to take her off the talk show circuit till she has something to say. And I'm not picking on her - it's impossible to pick on someone who's probably going to have a Grammy, a Golden Globe and an Oscar within two weeks.


GREY'S ANATOMY (ABC)
Still watching the first season dvd - which keeps getting better - but the relationship between Isaah Washington and Sandra Oh? Completely ridiculous and out of nowhere - and even worse - it doesn't even work - it actually works against the show. I'll be curious to see where this goes. Everyone tells me Season 2 is where GREY'S really gets meaty.


STUDIO 60 (NBS)
Wow - a whole hour where Matt Perry wore his hat backwards (to signify crazy, reckless youth) and had flashbacks to when he met Harriet and started writing her fantastic sketches. I withstood about 9 minutes of this before deleting.
So long, Studio 60 - it was ok while it lasted, but let's be real - it had no business being on the air.
Grade: D
UPDATE: I recently read a bunch of good things about this episode - so bear that in mind - though I suspect I'd hate it even more if I had continued.


DR. PHIL on LETTERMAN (CBS)
The 2 guys don't like each other - but rather then lead to sparks, it lead to boredom with an air of uncomfortablity.


Drew Barrymore on LETTERMAN (CBS)
No birthday surprise for Dave this time around. Drew is sucking in her cheeks and straightening her hair to show how "serious"she's gotten. I pray WORDS & MUSIC makes less then 30 dollars.


THE WEDDING CRASHERS (DVD)
Watched again - this time watched the UNCORKED edition, which takes a first rate comedy and gives it some more character and some dirtier jokes. This is a GREAT comedy - with a razor sharp script courtesy of the brilliant Steve Faber.
Grade: A +


I LOVE NY (VH1)
Not as outragous this week. But always compellingly trashy.


THE SURREAL LIVE (VH1)
Ron Jeremy made bad, pathetic sex jokes for a full hour. CC left and the whole affair was pretty stupid.
Grade: C -


ROCKY BALBOA: THE BEST OF ROCKY (CD)
A bit of a shame. Bill Conti created a wonderful, moving score for the last film in this beloved series, and instead, they release a lovely collection of oldies mostly culled from ROCKY 1, a few cuts from 2 & 3, (EYE OF THE TIGER, BURNING HEART) - the rock songs of the Bill Conti-less ROCKY 4, where Rocky ended the Cold War. (No Easy Way Out - Heart's On Fire.) And the horrid GO FOR IT scored by Bill Conti for the excrecable ROCKY 5. Still - as far as best of's go - this one's pretty great, collecting almost all of the key tracks from all the films. Yet I'd like the opportunity to enjoy the final score - especially the new ROCKY theme that was a tribute to Maynard Ferguson, who scored a huge hit in the 70s with his version of GONNA FLY NOW with his towing Sax front and center. Maynard was supposed to come in and put his sax into the GONNA FLY NOW for the finale, but he died too soon. On another ROCKY BALBOA note, I heard that a part was created for MR. T to reprise CLUBBER LANG as a sports commentator. I wonder if this was an idea that didn't get used or if there's footage that could turn up on the dvd.
Grade: A
But for the non-release of the new Bill Conti score:
Grade: F



ON THE STREETS: The Lives Of Adolescent Sex Trade Workers
Truly heartbreaking and completely riveting at the same time, it's literary dynamite.
Grade: A +


THE POLICE TOUR
Was excited about this until I saw their re-worked ROXANNE at the Grammys and I remembered that Sting likes to fuck up existing Police songs into sounded like they came out of a blender. Fucking Sting. He even looks like an asshole.


THE SECRET (DVD)
I can't tell you much about "the law of attraction," but then again, I'm a good secret keeper. Will this disc, touted by many as having the powers to completely change your life, completely change your life? Hmmm...I don't know - but it's an interesting theory and I am going to try it. If I notice I become more succsessful then in my wildest dreams, I'll let you know.


I promised you more shite about Catherine McFuckFace - here it is letter to the editor from last week's EW in something called:
FADING McPheever: "In one short article, Kat McPhee managed to alienate fans of Celine Dion ("She's not really what you hear - it's all studio smoke and mirrors") MeatLoaf ("I thought he was a total joke and that Ashton Kutcher was PUNKING me - he's grotesque") Justin Timberlake ("will NEVER overcome his cheesy boy band roots - he's a joke.") and fellow IDOL contestant Rubin Studderd ("I would NEVER that guy's albums.") I sort of liked her on IDOL, but who ever thought she was this self-centered?"

The DIGITAL COUCH says: I think all of our McPhever is fading.

BAM'S UNHOLY UNION (MTV)I love Bam. I love Jackass. I love Bam in Jackass. I don't really like VIVA LA BAM- though I do like WILDBOYS (Steve 0 and Chris Pontiaus) - however - this show - is complete and utter shit. It comes as close as any "reality" show could possibly come to being completely scripted and fully contrived by producers to the point where you go from "scene" to "scene." You can literally imagine the outline in your head that the writers came up with - and Bam's mother is funny when she's being real - not putting it on for the cameras. This must have seemed like a good idea - but it's deadly bad. It's as scripted as HOGAN KNOWS BEST and only about a tenth as entertaining. And HOGAN KNOWS BEST ain't that entertaining.
Grade: F


AMERICAN IDOL (FOX)
Not much to say, except that I was suprised by the amount of people that were cut. I can't berleive they kept that completely ridiculous "Hips Don't Lie" girl with her insane accent and her superstar demeanor. Or maybe she's just good television.
Grade: B -

My friend Diane's SURF REPORT has had some really tasty IDOL centric stuff - so, reprinted from her FANTASTIC newsletter, which you can sign up for by going here:
thesurfreport@gmail.com (tell diane to add you to the list!)
It's a great daily wrap up of the new shows, reviews, what to look for - and Diane is a GREAT writer - I highly reccomend it.

Here is the scandalous American Idol article:
Controversies Spotlight Idol's Tom Lowe
BY NIKKI FINKE
The latest controversy: 28-year-old ex-British boy-band'er Tom Lowe is the target of not just one but four controversies, which is a rarity even for that Fox show. Allegations include that Lowe is too successful, or too well-connected, to compete fairly on the show. Then there's the report this runner-up "Britain Choirboy of the Year" posed nude (with all the appropriate places covered) for a trendy British magazine. A college interview presents him as the first "out" gay American Idol contestant.

There are headlines how he's had influential helpers -- so influential that the British press alleges one of them may be Simon Cowell himself, and the Boston Herald says the other is the Massachusetts Tourism Board. But there's also another issue: just what, exactly, is American Idol supposed to be? Is it an obvious avenue for finding undiscovered talent (like Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood)? Or is it a shrewd method of banking on a sure thing (like Taylor Hicks, who'd already put out an album pre- Idol). And what about the show's forced notion of "wholesomeness"?

Contestant Lowe by age 18 was already an accomplished singer and a one-time British teen heartthrob. The former Take That backup vocalist on the group's 1995 UK tour followed that up with a UK hit two years later as part of the boy-band North and South, featured in a British kids TV series No Sweat. That group hit No. 7 on the UK singles chart with "Man Not a Boy", but despite the hype, sales were disapppointing and the band broke up in 1999. Lowe also had some acting success on London's West End -- the equivalent of Broadway -- landing leads in Les Miserables and Cats under the name "Tom Lucas". From there, he traveled to Harvard University where, as Thomas P. Lowe, he graduated in East Asian studies in 2005.

At Harvard, he became something of a campus legend, first competing for the title of Mr. Harvard in which contestants were "parading in bathing suits, shaking scantily-clad behinds to the tunes of Britney Spears, and performing a racy striptease," described the Harvard Crimson student newspaper. Then, "in his subdued mohawk and slight trace of black eyeliner", he was a wannabe rock-star in the campus band "Tommy and the Tigers," according to the paper, which noted that Lowe's costume choices included a pink lounge suit.

In a 2005 interview with the Crimson, Lowe appears to out himself. "Harvard allows me to dress however I want, wear my hair however I want, sleep with whomever I want," he said. He announces plans to move to New York to meet with talent agents and "sees himself playing a British rock star on The O.C. or Desperate Housewives. In the latter show, Lowe predicts he will take part in 'a gay love affair with Teri Hatcher's boyfriend. He'll meet me and decide that he is questioning his sexuality. He'll fall for my British accent.'"

The next ruckus to surround him: when the Boston Herald reported in December 2006 that Massachusetts taxpayers footed the bill for a $60,000 six-month contract to star Lowe, then an aspiring Idol contestant, in a $400,000 Web-TV video tourism promo.

The Herald reported that tourism board critics wondered why Lowe was signed up for such a long period of time in the first place. Talk about a lucky break. Then his Tourism Board bosses approached the Boston Red Sox and next thing Lowe was belting out the "The Star-Spangled Banner" in Fenway Park.

Looking blond and buff, Lowe auditioned for Idol 6 in Seattle, and immediately established himself as one of the best singers. He was called "the best-kept secret" on the Internet when he sang the Luther Vandross soul classic "Always and Forever". Though the Seattle auditions were kinda lousy, Lowe's solid one wasn't aired on Fox. (It did on ITV2 in the UK on January 19th. It's here on YouTube.)

One reason why: during his audition, Lowe was asked by judge Randy Jackson, "Simon ever try to sign your band? Replied Lowe: "No, but I believe Simon was working for BMG at the same time I was there." Jackson looked like he'd unearthed a secret. " Well, Simon," he asked. "Small world," an embarrassed-looking Cowell answered. "Small world," Jackson repeated. Immediately, the British press ran headlines how "the fix is in" on American Idol 6 and accused Cowell of planting the British pop star who was once signed to his record company. Certainly Lowe's singing ability and good looks were reason enough to move him to Hollywood. Meanwhile, the Internet began buzzing about Lowe's having "outed" himself in the Harvard Crimson.

Audiences won't find out whether Tom Lowe moves into the semifinalist round until Wednesday. But already reports are circling that Lowe didn't make it into the top 24 contestants. So did all these controversies hurt Lowe's Idol chances? You think?

Also from Diane's newsletter - remember how I didn't understand what was going on with THE GRAMMYS decision to have this weird vote thing where someone got to sing with Justin Timerlake? Diane's newsletter answered the question: Apparantly, CBS ran the contest for a month online, and the girl that got picked was a girl who was turned down on-air on IDOL. I still thought it was a really dumb idea to make the Grammys a game show.