Last blog of 2oo7!

EXTRAS (SERIES FINALE) (HBO)
Being that this is the exact same format the BBC OFFICE went (2 seasons and a wrap up,) this had a lot to live up to. TV GUIDE actually let some spoilers leak, so I went into this knowing a few things, which sucked. However, despite that, this was pretty bloody good. They took the Andy character about as far as they could take him as well as his platonic relationship with…(It can’t be a great sign that I don’t remember her name – although she was never my favorite part of the show.) I wish there had been more scenes of Andy and his agent, and the whole thing was a bit on the dark side, but that’s probably why I liked it so much. I wish there had been a bit more finesse to it, and a few of the jokes were a bit too self conscience (like the Kramer doll and the Direc TV bit) but mostly, this was pretty great. Who even knew we were getting a finale? Although – strangely enough, it kind of felt like a bigger rewrite of the last episode of the series (the ep with DeNiro.) While EXTRAS will never be in the same category as THE OFFICE BBC, it did have many many moments of greatness, particularly the second season. And to have this 90 minute finale was a great cap to a damn fine show. While I think they over stated their point a few times, and got a bit preachy here and there, this still worked exceedingly well and serves as a satisfying conclusion to the show.
Grade: A -


THERE WILL BE BLOOD (IN THEATERS)
Long. Tedious. And kind of brilliant. Daniel Day Lewis is so good. Paul Anderson Thomas, best known for the perfect BOOGIE NIGHTS, somehow changes who he is as a filmaker in this 3 hour epic based on the oil biz in the 20s. Lewis’ performance will haunt you for a long time to come.
Grade: A

LARS AND THE REAL GIRL (IN THEATERS)
Clever concept. Piss poor execution. For proof that Ryan Gosling can star in a horrible movie, look no further. If you really want to see what a REAL GIRL (an expensive sex doll) looks like, go to www.realgirl.com - at least you won’t have to sit through this movie. Which is bad. Really really bad.
Grade: D

THE SAVAGES (IN THEATRES)
Laura Linney and Phillip Seymour Hoffman are touching and real in this great film I recently saw directed by Tamara Jenkins – who you might remember from the great SLUMS OF BEVERLY HILLS. This is a lot more bleak than that film – but the performances are so good there is simply never a dull moment. As good as Linney is, I think that Hoffman might be the best actor of his generation.
Grade: A

SPIDERMAN 3 (DVD)
A 2 hour and 20 minute fucking insult. Some of the best special effects in recent memory as well as some of the very worst dialog, acting, pacing, directing, lighting, scoring and mostly every other aspect of this sitcom-like extension of the franchise. To get the big picture, this is the last BATMAN film with George Clooney that everybody hated and killed the franchise. This is the worst of the 3 new STAR WARS films, all of which were truly drop dead awful. Sam Raimi is a GREAT director. He made the EVIL DEAD trilogy, which is insanely good. He also made a great drama called A SIMPLE PLAN that features the best Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton performances you’re ever likely to see. I even think he made a great actress out of Bridget Fonda in that movie. But this is dead on arrival. The bad sitcom like plotting in terms of the James Franco character and his….it’s too complicated. Anyway – very, very bad. With good intentions. Had they chopped this down to 90 minutes, it could’ve been okay – but probably not. It’s just bad. Really, really bad. Awful.
Gradeless.
Fuck you, Rami. Wasting my time with this bullshit.

PS: Why does the SPIDERMAN theme sound EXACTLY like the BATMAN theme? Did they think we wouldn’t notice? Even the music cues seem to be lifted directly from Batman. What’s up with that? I’m not kidding – it’s EXACTLY the same score only somehow not quite as good.


RUNNIN DOWN A DREAM: TOM PETTY DOCU (DVD)
Not a huge Petty fan but this 4 hour docu by Peter Bogdonavich almost made me one. This package comes with 2 dvds that cover the docu, another dvd of a unreleased great live show, and a 4th disc – a CD with live cuts and rarities. This is 25 bux at Best Buy. If you’re into Petty – this is an insane deal.
Highly recommended.

PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN 3 (DVD)
I had this for a month. I just sat down to watch it. I got through about 4 minutes.
I think women really love Depp and Bloom, for I know no man who likes these movies.
I don’t get it.
Not even a little.

T2: JUDGEMENT DAY (DVD - XTREME EDITION)
By the way, this double disc, loaded to the gills with extras and Easter eggs, is TARGET right now for 5.95 - which means it's probably about to be re-released - but you'd do well to own this version. Since this is one of the best action films ever made, with and ending as good and sentimental as the rest of the film is action fill led. The "extended version" has a few unfortunate moments that probably should've remained on the cutting room floor (like Eddie Furlong teaching Arnold's Terminator how to "smile".) However, when we get the entire REESE flashback - it's hard to argue with the longer edition. The extras are so plentiful on this 2 discer that the 5.95 price at TARGET is a bit of a lovely joke. By the way, T3 pretty much sucked, and T4 is coming. Imagine how exciting it would be if Cameron were returning to the series? With Eddie Furlong? Nah, it'll be Christian Bale and an action director. (sigh.)
Grade: A +


GOODFELLAS (DVD)
Watched a bit of this just recently - the newer editions have a great commentary track with the actual wiseguy himself, Henry Hill. Still, the scenes with Maury are still the greatest of all time, and Joe Pesci's "You think I'm funny" is still frightengly fantastic.
Grade: A+


COOL AS ICE (SHOWTIME)
I recently watched for the first time - this Vanilla Ice movie from the late 80s - and WOW, this is some bad shit. And not in the bad/good way - this is just BAD. Yet, it's so bad it's borderline brilliant. It's shot in the worst style I've ever seen, Vanilla Ice's wardrobe and hairstyle are ones for hte ages, his "friends" from the hood - trust me - this fucking thing just has to be seen to be believed. How Michael Gross got sucked into this is anybodies guess - but check out the first time we see the "normal" family and how the director wanted them to play out in a sort of "RAP"....this is impossible to explain - you have to see this stinking bad flick.
Grade: F / A (for camp value)

For some reason I reviewed this twice - I always find it interesting to compare what I was thinking on what day - the next review I must've wrote after just watching it - let's compare:

COOL AS ICE (HBO)I started watching this VANILLA ICE movie the other night on cable - I don't know who the girl is but she was gorgeous. The father of the girl who likes Vanilla Ice is played by Michael Gross. Now let me see if I can explain the plotline of this "film" - as I understand it. Vanilla Ice is cool. Cool as Ice. In fact, at the beginning of the movie, he's breakdancing in dry ice, so we KNOW he's cool. Also - his 3 best friends, his little motorcycle gang - is black. And one of them is a CHICK! So yeah - we know he's cool. After Ice and the girl meet cute around her horse (I'm not kidding) she sort of punches him in the chest to which Ice replies "You hit pretty good - for a girl." She smartly snaps back with "Well, coming from a big dangerous biker like you, I'll take that as a compliment." They almost smile at each other - but not quite. FUCK! This movie is COOL!!!!!!! They then show her family, lead by Michael Gross of FAMILY TIES as the dad, and for soem inexplicable reason, the family scene is initially shot in a bad hip-hop style that doesn't seem to make sense - u sort of have to see it to believe it. And then, even more inexpliciably, Ice and his friends take their bikes to be repaired by an old "funny" couple that live next door to this girl! (Like I said - it has to be seen to be believed.) Anyway - Ice and the girl get close, dad reveals that he's under the witness protection program due to some tomfoolery in his police career - you know what - just see the film - some movies are so bad they're just bad - this movie is so bad it's fucking GOLD, Jerry, GOLD.Grade: A


MEATLOAF: 3 BATS LIVE (DVD)
This is personally hard for me because I LOVE Meatloaf. He’s been a part of my musical reference since I was a kid. But there is some unfortunate things happening in this DVD. This is one of the best Meatloaf concerts ever put on dvd – and the man’s voice is not up to it. Meat is about 62, and his voice is slipping. This is a GREAT collection, and it works despite the vocal limitations, but still – what a shame. Also, OBJECTS and ANYTHING FOR LOVE are both strangely missing their middle verses (he did this in the show me and Steven G. saw in San Diego as well.) But – for the big fans – this is a must, and the videos are pretty cool, though for some reason at the last minute, a 2nd disc with a great docu on Meat is missing. (maybe they’ll release it later – but apparently this was a 90 minute docu that truly rocked.) Also, why does he choose to end this show with some horrible bad songs from NON BAT cds and then a horrifying cover of GIMME SHELTER? Still, a lot of this really does rock. And if his voice isn’t up to par, the band and his energy and even the blind enthusiasm of the new 20 year old singer that replaces Patti Russo, who’d been in the band for 20 years but has left in a cloud of mystery, giving way to this newer onstage singer, who resembles Meat’s granddaughter and makes watching then make out in PARADISE a bit creepy. It’s still a lot of great songs with Meatloaf at the helm. One only wonders what kind of encore they’d have if Meat were still in tip top voice and Jim Steinman was all the way involved in both Bat 3 and the following tour; as he was on BAT 2. Either way, if you ever loved BAT OUT OF HELL and you buy music dvds, this is definitely a must buy. The sound is superb. And some of the versions are really growing on me. Oh, fuck – don’t listen to me – I LOVE Meatloaf. Even when he’s not at his best. I just love the guy. Impossible for me to give him a bad grade when he’s out there killing himself singing his biggest hits.
Grade: B +


DRAWN TOGETHER (COM)
"Drawn Together Babies"This was a pretty funny, if completely inconsistent with the show's mythology, (which changes all the time anyway) but fun nonetheless to see the babies up for murder and mayhem even in diapers. Sometimes this show is SERIOUSLY funny – this was not one of those times.
Grade: B –


ER (NBC)Really seems to be chugging along. Most of the major players are gone, but there are enough new players and some revitilization of the older characters to make this season (reportedly the last) very satisfying.


THE SOPRANOS "WHOEVER DID THIS" (DVD)
I recently re watched this episode in which Joey Pants meets his maker. Brilliant. Tony lets Ralphie get away with killing a stripper but kills him over a horse. This show will be missed forever. Will there ever be characters like this again?


MY NIGHT AT THE GRAMMYS (CBS)
This could have been great – 2 hours of fantastic grammy moments. Unfortunately, it was ruined by placing celebrities in little boxes to comment on, and therefore ruin, every performance shown.
Grade:
Concept: A
Execution: D


BARRY MANILOW - SONGS OF THE 70s (PBS)
If you are a fan of Barry, and I admit, guilty - this was a masterful set of songs, both from the new cd and Barry’s own blistering 70s catalog. It’s not on dvd yet – but I hope it gets there, because it'd be a nice new collection and he puts delivers a stunning performance on I WRITE THE SONGS, which sounds like he just wrote it.
Grade: A +


FRANK TV (TBS)
Frank is a talented guy and a gifted mimic.
I’ve heard him on Stern and found him to be funny, affable and simply lovely.
His show, however, is totally unwatchable.
Grade: F


HOUSE (FOX)
I recently caught up and watched the 4 episodes before the break. Dazzling, smart, brilliantly acted - what sounded like a weird concept of House choosing his new team became a fantastic storytelling device and got House involved with lots of different personalities. Favorite moment: when House hired the chick from the government – then dispatched her when he realized she was an idiot.
Grade: A


SOUTH PARK (COMEDY CENTRAL) - "Imaginationland - parts 1,2 & 3"
This was so good it could’ve been their next feature. The sight of Cartman walking around grousing about Kyle not sucking his balls – maybe you had to be there – but in it’s – whatever number season – the creators have made this funnier, smarter, and more relevant with every episode.
Grade: B +


INTO THE WILD (DVD)
The best film Sean Penn ever made, the best acting by Emille Hirsch ever put on film, and a great retelling of a true story that I remember very well in the early 90s. This kid had graduated high school and decided to forgo his parents money (of which there was a lot of) and decided to go on this half-assed journey to Alaska. Lyrical, trenchant, but never overly romantic about this kid’s plight, this film is going to be talked about for a long time. I thought Eddie Vedder’s songs for the film were all fairly pointless and just took a few points away. (and now - a week and a half after writing this, I'm starting to come around to the soundtrack a little.)
Grade: A -

If you haven’t heard Artie “coming out” to George Takai on STERN – you haven’t lived.

I AM AN ANIMAL: (HBO)
Unforgettaqble images make the case here for going vegan. I haven’t finished watching because some of the images are so disturbing – but based on the first half, which I plan on finishing shortly, it’s a tough look at THE toughest subject.
Grade based on first half: A +

DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
I watched the last 7 episodes in the last couple of weeks. It’s the best. I was a little worried about the first batch of eps because it felt like a certain laziness had set in, but the next run of eps were uniformly exciting and the finale was pitch perfect and in some ways sort of horrifying. Dexter season 2 has a much more satsisfying conclusion than season one. Despite loads of bad acting (the sister actually got worse this year,) DEXTER is one hell of a show. Last year, they put on a great show. This year, they dazzled.
Grade: A +

AMERICAN DAD (FOX)
I still love this show, but there were a lot of misses this season.
Grade: B


DAVE ATTEL: CAPTAIN MISERABLE (HBO)
I really like this guy and think he’s really funny. That said, I didn’t get this standup set at all. I thought it intimated comedy but didn’t really deliver any comedy. Which is not to say it doesn’t have its moments. It’s just few and far between.
Grade: D +
Because it’s not aggressively bad.


AN OPEN LETTER TO GEORGE LOPEZ
I saw you on some TV show the other day, talking about the Amy Winehouse nominations. You said something like "I guess if doing drugs, cutting yourself up gets you the nominations...etc.) - You went on to some very bad punchline that didn't even make the reporter laugh. Now here is the deal, Mister Lopez. How your show is still on the air, is truly a testament to good fucking luck and power of your own personal prayer. The reason she got the nominations is because no matter how fucked up her personal life is, Amy Winehouse is the best female singer to come along in about a decade. And I know late at night, when you think about how talented she is, you probably say to yourself "If I only had that talent, I would never do those fucked up things." Unfortunately, that's something you'll never know about, because as marginally talented as you are, and while you are certainly a success by anyone's measure, you will never know what it's like to be as uniquely talented as someone like Winehouse, so please continue to do your rotten sitcom and remember to thank God the next time you are nominated for anything. And as far as doing fucked up things, you did them all! So what the fuck are you talking about? Really, when it comes to Winehouse, keep your mouth shut, hack.


What's the deal with CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR? Tom Hanks in a movie with Julia Roberts?
JULIA ROBERTS as an old southern belle? Jesus fucking Christ. Does nobody remember "I kissed Sidney Pottier" at the Oscars???? Julia being in a movie in which she could potentially be nominated or even win, or even do a round of talk shows is a BAD BAD THING AND MUST BE STOPPED.


Ryan Seacrest is the only bad thing in KNOCKED UP. His promos on IN DEMAND where he spoofs his role, are so bad my cat recently learned how to change the channel.


GOOD OL' CHARLES SHULZ (PBS)
I am and always will be a huge fan of PEANUTS. It’s been a huge part of my life and it’s the classiest, funniest thing I’d ever read as a kid and kept reading for a long time after. This docu, which has a lot of testimonials from people close to the creator of Peanuts, Charles M. Schultz, and lots of footage of Schultz himself being interviewed. I would’ve liked to have seen the last hour, but TIME/WARNER fucked my shit up and erased everything on my DVR, and it was on PBS, so who knows when it’s be on again – but based on what I saw, and how interesting it managed to be and how Schulz is really a compelling subject….
Grade: A +


HOSTEL 2 (DVD)
Get the unrated version – I think I reviewed this last time, but ended up seeing it again with a friend, and I now think it’s even better than I initially gave it credit for. It’s creepy and funny and about the best they could do for an encore, to the first, better film. But this is pretty fun. The scene in which the various guys around the world are bidding is an instant classic.
Grade: B +


SUPERBAD (DVD – UNRATED EDITION)
This rocked. Maybe not as much as KNOCKED UP, but it's not a really fair comparison. They are two completely different, and hilarious, movies. As far as SUPERBAD goes, not quite everything works. The more outlandish and high-concept some of the bits get, the less fun they play out since this is mostly grounded in reality. But for straight out belly laughs, look no further. And as good as Michael Cera is, Jonah Hill, seen in 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN trying to buy boots at Kathy Keener's Ebay store - and in KNOCKED UP as Seth's fould mouthed friend - becomes a star in this movies. I think this guy could do anything - and he's one of the funniest guys to come around in a while.
Grade: A -


JANICE DICKENSON MODELING AGENCY (OXYGEN)
Janice is insanely unlikable and unpleasant, yet I really like this show, somehow a little better in it’s 3rd season than it was in its second.


BAD GIRLS CLUB (Season 2 – OXYGEN)
The new bad girls appear to be a pretty insane lot, but I don’t think anything will ever compare to the first season girls. They seemed to have personalities beyond the fighting. These girls are just truly insane on every level. And highly entertaining.
Grade: B -


DAVID GILMOUR: REMEMBER THAT NITE (DVD)
One of the best sounding dvds out there, and Gilmour, who has lost a LOT of credit to Roger Waters, IS the voice of Pink Floyd, plays some of the best guitar in the business, and has a lot of new great songs, particularly, SMILE. Plus the entire Pink Floyd cannon. Here, he performs COMFORTABLY NUMB with David Bowie and an acoustic version of SHINE ON with Crosby, Stills and Nash. Astonishing.
Grade: A


IN POT WE TRUST (SHOWTIME)
Very fine Showtime docu on people who really need medical marijuana. Don't we all?
Grade: B


REBA (SYND)
I recently took in a few eps of this while I was cleaning my apt. I think the success of this show is pretty good proof that the yahoos are winning.


KITCHEN NIGHTMARES (FOX)
Da bomb. Bring this one back. I will never look at any restaurant the same way again, and Gordon Ramsey is a TV natural. Great subjects, great episodes.
Grade: B +


A SHOT AT LOVE W/ TILA TEQUILA (MTV)
I’m going to try and imitate Tila’s sing-song voice to try and convey how annoying she sounds. (She does this a lot when she’s trying to sound important.) Okay, so – this is Tila talking, and when she raises her voice, I’ll use caps. Tila Tequila: “Okay, so like, I brought them to my STUDIO. Where I’m a RECORDING ARTIST. And like, my producer has worked with PARIS HILTON and LINDSEY LOHAN, and now, most importantly, TILA TEQUILA.” I’m not kidding – I wish I could record a sample of what I mean and post it – I’m sure I could find a perfect you tube clip, but I’m too lazy to add these links that would make this a better blog. Tila looks kind of strange. Not that she’s ugly, she’s just…kind of weird. So – this was a dating show with a twist – Tila supposedly wanted to figure out if she wanted to end up with a guy or a girl. Tila: “I’m coming out now and it’s really IMPORTANT to me. And I don’t know if I want a GUY or a GIRL or what…” Now, the show was great, had great characters, truly some real fucking maniacs, and the conclusion was interesting enough. But I think it’s all bullshit. I’ve heard from a lot of people that Tila has a boyfriend, and is totally hetero (the scenes of her kissing other women didn’t really came off as authentic.) So I guess this was to promote her music career. Her what? I’ve heard some of it, and I prefer to listen to the SPIDERMAN THREE album. Oh my GOD, I’m talking like TILA now…I wonder if because she has a sing-song voice she thought she could sing?
Grade: C


How annoying do the new ads for PS I LOVE YOU with Hilary Swank look? How annoying is Hilary Swank? Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeech.


Remember when NIP/TUCK used to be smart, sexy, and daring? Now it’s one shitbag story after the other. And isn’t it funny how after they exploited living in Los Angeles for a few episodes, now the show could take place back in Miami for all of it’s CALIFORNIA vibe it wants to have? Honestly – the time has come. Maybe Ryan Murphy can come up with a great batch of episodes to finish this out – but this is the worst show on television. Let’s let all these talented people go on to something new and fresh and not this grim reminder of a once vibrant tv show that actually was cutting edge for its first few seasons.

I saw a few minutes of the HD BLADE RUNNER FINAL CUT at BEST BUY – it looked amazing I want to update every single component I own. It looks truly insane in HD. I’m ready to buy into this technology. I think the way to go is the hybrid HD/BLU RAY machine that plays both. And whoever reads this blog, if you wanted to get me a 70” HD PANASONIC, I would definitely not mind, nor accuse you of trying to buy my friendship.


IDEAS FOR XMAS/CHANUKA (Under 30 bux)
(Sorry – I should’ve had this blog posted 2 weeks ago, but I’ve been busy. So here it is, anyway – still a good way to spend 30 bux.)
1 - Meatloaf - 3 Bats Live
Meat's voice doesn't sound the same, and replacing Patti Russo with a 20 year old was a blunder, but this dvd still kind of rocks.
2 - Tom Petty - Runnin' Down A Dream (dvd at Best Buy only)
I think this is 8 hours long - for serious Petty fans only (I'm not one)
3 - Eagles - Long Road Out Of Eden (Walmart Only - but you can find it on Amazon)
This rocks.
4 - Led Zep - Mothership CD/DVD
Not a huge fan, but supposedly this is fantastic if you are.
5 - Knocked up DVD
Best comedy of the year.
6 - Superbad DVD
Based on the first 10 minutes of which I’ve seen, this is awesome.
7 - WINDY CITY HEAD DVD (always a great stocking stuffer)
Funniest. Movie. Ever.
8 - BLADE RUNNER - THE FINAL CUT (DVD - 2 dvd set)
Apparantly this is THE DIRECTOR'S CUT with some cleaning up of the film and some choice commentary and documentaries - but if you don't have it yet, it's a must have.
9 - CALIGULA Ultimate Edition (2 DVD SET)
Need I say more?
10 - FREAKS & GEEKS - THE ENTIRE SERIES (okay, this one might cost you more then 30, but well worth it)
This show was the bomb. NBC cancelled it, but these guys now seem unstoppable.
11 - THE OFFICE (BBC) - THE ENTIRE SERIES (my highest reccomendation)The best sitcom ever, on a shelf with Seinfeld and The Honeymooners.
LASTLY....
If you don't get the STERN RADIO SHOW on SIRIUS yet, you are only cheating yourself from the hands down funniest dialog you are ever likely to hear in your lifetime.


That’s a wrap for the year.

Don’t drink & drive.