2009/03/23

THE LOST BLOG: E.R., Black 2 Future, Skins, Spectacle, Amateur Porn Sex Killer, Jon Brion, Deeper Throat, Bad Girls Club, Nip/Tuck

Sorry – have been really busy – these are not new reviews but you haven’t seen them. When I did last week’s blog, I stuck to the reviews that Ralph had seen so we could have a cohesive blog – but these are the ones left out from last week because I’ve been behind on viewing – hopefully these reviews will tide you over till my next current blog – DIGITAL COUCH.

By the way - if you want to get the GREATEST female shirt around - seriously - go here.
this is a BOYFRIEND shirt - which is a man-style shirt made for woman and frankly - they are SEXY as HELL.

BLACK TO THE FUTURE (VH1)
Is a WE LOVE THE 70s type pop-culture riff with tons of talking heads – only this show focuses on all things black. Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Jesse Jackson, Lionel Richie, Different Strokes, Eddie Murphy’s PARTY ALL THE TIME recording – all the great moments of black pop culture history is presented here and frankly – after watching all those other talking head shows which VH1 seems to specialize in – this one was really good. Focusing on black-only pop culture gave the show an edge and a focus. The comics were hilarious – although Hal Sparks is now sporting a scary rock star hair-do – other than that – this is really one to watch. There are too many things that fly by to really talk about – but this is a four parter that really works.
Grade: B +

ER is winding down with its last few episodes. It's been great to see some familiar faces, and Noah Whylie is particularly good in these episodes as Dr. Carter. Looking forward to seeing more familiar faces as the long running series finally comes to an end.

To everyone who witnessed Steve Harvey and his wife talking about the book they wrote about their love on the Oprah Winfrey show – let me know if you’re planning mass suicide. I might join you - because this was the worst spectacle of pseudo-celebrity ass kissing I’ve ever seen.


SPECTACLE (SUNDANCE)
Elvis Costello is really the best. He sings, he writes, he plays – and he has great questions and insights and a genuine curiosity for all his guests and a true pure love of music. I sometimes wish they’d sing some more familiar tunes instead of playing to the obscure crowd as I don’t know half the songs he’s reeling off – but when something magical happens – like Elvis and Lou Reed singing “Perfect Day” or Elvis singing “Border Song” to an astonished Elton John – this show is alive and pumping. This is a show that needs a first season soundtrack out ASAP. Truly, first rate.
Grade: A


SKINS (BBC DVD)
I had heard so much about this BBC show about the real lives of young adults – I thought I was in for a treat. I was and I wasn’t. It’s good and very watchable – but unlike what I was hoping for – which was realism – it’s really over the top and actually wickedly funny – just not what I was expecting. That said – there are some amazing scenes and some really clever stuff going on here – and the young actors are miraculous and the whole thing has sort of a TRAINSPOTTING vibe. I just don’t think it has the gravity to make you love it. It’s missing a bit of heart - although I’m only in the middle of series 1. Each episode focuses on a different kid – I particularly loved the girl with the eating disorder who kept getting strange texts to her cell that would say “EAT!” Even better was this weird tracking shot of her fingers running down a stairs banister…maybe you had to see it…anyway – if this gets much better I’ll let you know. There’s a little too much “clever comedy” for its good that keeps it from getting to the next level. So far…
Grade: B -

UPDATE: Started watching Disc 2 and it’s getting much better and much deeper.


SNUFF: A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT KILLING ON CAMERA (DVD)
Revolting and fascinating, this docu attempts to explore the “myth” of onscreen killing. It’s mostly talking heads with a few really disturbing shots here and there – they even include the entire segment from the end of a 75’ film called “SNUFF.” SNUFF was notorious back in the day for purporting to really kill someone at the end of the film. I remember renting SNUFF with some friends when it came out on VHS - we all were very freaked out at that ending. As the film – which is LAUGHABLE, ends, the “director” starts telling the actress how great she was and it leads to a supposedly impromptu make out session on the bed while the crew packs up. Suddenly – the director turns violent, and with the help of the crew, he kills and literally guts the woman. Now, I have to tell you – back in the day – me and all my friends were completely freaked and convinced we had seen a murder. It didn’t seem possible – and at the time – I should’ve realized that the PARTY CENTER in Brooklyn on Ralph Avenue – a candy, party supply and VHS rental shop would probably not have rented an actual on screen killing to a bunch of young boys. And yet, I always remembered that scene for being completely realistic for it’s time and just plain real. This docu begins early on by showing the entire sequence. 20 years later – I feel a bit snookered. The ending is actually so fake – so obviously fake – that I’m embarrassed I fell for it. Anyway – the film – while just mostly talking heads with some truly disturbing violent shots scattered throughout – is quite entertaining, disturbing and while some of the talking heads don’t really seem qualified to speak on the subject of SNUFF films – we do get a pretty full bodied idea of what a SNUFF film supposedly is. SNUFF is not nessessarily the act of just killing on camera – serial killers have been doing that for years. But a true SNUFF film in the commercial sense means somebody is murdered on camera for profit from the sick people who want to watch it. The film debates whether snuff is real or an urban myth. The answer – I don’t know. It probably doesn’t exist in the massive way some might think – but according to these folks and some news accounts – it exists. I will skip the Russian Child Porn Snuff ring – truly – one of the – I can’t even say. You can always see the movie if you’re interested in knowing about it – but it was apparently real and – wow. As horrifying as that was, there was nothing more horrifying to me than the last 10 minutes of the film, which had adult film producer Marc Rosen give a fully realistic account of the day he went to a LA hotel to meet some distributors who had something “outrageous” they wanted him to distribute. Marc sullenly gives a description of what he saw and starts to cry from the memory of this tape he was shown 20 plus years ago. I can’t recommend this film to anyone – but if you ever had a curiosity about the subject – this film offers a LOT of answers.
Grade: B +

And as far as the 1975 notorious classic SNUFF, For those interested – here is the trailer – probably creepier than anything in the actual movie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggP5cG1gLqg


I WAS A TEENAGE IDOL (VH1)
This is turning into a really good show. That kid from Baywatch is insane. Chris Atkins is cool. UPDATE:
I just watched the finale and not only did they try to give all the guys some decent hook ups for the future, some of them even got countdown shows on VH1 – maybe it won’t lead anywhere – but I think we’ll be seeing some of the people featured on this show. I liked the upbeat nature of this and I liked the camaraderie in the house as opposed to the feuding train wrecks that usually happens in these reality shows – I wouldn’t mind seeing another edition of this. Very enjoyable and somewhat cathartic in a way.
Grade: B -



AMATEUR PORN STAR KILLER (DVD)
DIG COUCH NOTE: Regardless of my reviews, these are squalid, hard to get through films and work in the very genre they set out to – but not much else. My deepest warning against watching these unless you have an intense curiosity. – DIG COUCH

Okay, not only did I never think I’d ever review a title like this for my site, but I never thought I’d be giving it a POSITIVE review. The truth is – this is a squalid, depressing little tape that has somehow spawned 2 sequels (I have seen neither – yet) – but it’s insanely real, if a bit overly artistic (I know – it sounds crazy.) The 73 minute film is basically this dude who picks up this girl in his car while he videotapes from either the worst video camera ever to exist, or we’re watching a copy of a copy of a copy – and sometimes the quality jumps from decent to horrendous to just plain annoyingly arty (or what the filmmaker thinks comes off as arty – is actually completely annoying and takes you out of the movie.) What’s left however, is an insanely gripping and mesmerizing 70 minutes of this dude talking this young girl into…well – the title says it all. But that’s all it is – the movie never leaves this shot. And that is the pull of it. And the acting – mostly improv – of the director/star and the girl – is absolutely real and believable – and as it goes on – this becomes one of the creepiest things I’d ever seen. But undeniably alive and raw.
Grade: B

UPDATE:
I watched Part 2. It’s much creepier. Maybe even evil. They offer two dvds – one is the FILM version (more pretense) – the other dvd is simply called THE KILLER’S SNUFF CUT with EVIDENCE marked on the disc – I chose that one just to see how far he would go with this premise. The same killer is back, and he goes much further with the premise this time around. It’s starker, darker, meaner – and much more sexually graphic – and violent. This does not make for feel-good watching – but as an absorbing piece of scripted reality, this is the real deal and you will need many showers and perhaps therapy after watching this.
Grade: B +

Someone just gave me part 3 – I’m extremely hesitant to watch. The only saving grace is its called THE FINAL CHAPTER.


JON BRION at LARGO (3 FRIDAY NIGHTS AGO)
I love Jon Brion – but I didn’t love this 3 hour fest that STARTED at 10 30 and went until the wee hours – with only 2 recognizable songs played the entire night. (Although – I slept through at least 4 songs – so maybe he did something awesome while I was sleeping.) He brought on a merry band of entertainers popular in the indie music world and they basically jammed. Frankly, for the money my friend Adam S. paid for me to attend this, I would’ve preferred some format to the show and maybe some real entertainment – instead it reminded me of being at your friends house when everyone else is drunk and on drugs except you – and they have musical instruments. The only instrument I needed was a gun – for Jon Brion, for my buddy Adam, and then of course for my mouth.
Grade: D +



THE VISITOR (DVD SCREENER)
Richard Jenkins is awesome in a film that somehow was generic, slow and predictable. Not to say it didn’t have some fine offbeat moments, but the only reason to watch this is for Jenkins wonderful performance as a stiff businessman trying to loosen up.
Grade: C -


THE BARBERA WALTERS SPECIAL (ABC)
The Jonas Brothers. Insipid. Ann Hathaway. Insiped. Mickey Rourke. Inspired – and insane.
Grade: eh. Barbera doesn’t ask anything remotely interesting anymore, so – who cares?



FAMILY GUY (FOX)
A stellar outing that saw their paralyzed cop friend in need of 20,000 dollars – Peter’s answer – rob Lois’ dad for millions. There was WAY too much going on in this episode to recount every funny laugh out loud moment – but this was a superlative outing for the show and a reminder of just how great this show could be.
Grade: A

UPDATE: While I was sick I watched MANY FAMILY GUY episodes on TOON. Watching a bunch of them, I have to say that there is a undeniable quality to them that is undeniable. When you are sick in bed and these shows are making you laugh out loud – you know it’s a classic. I saw the one where Stewie goes to High School to prove he’s cool. I saw Brian discover he has a 15 year old troublesome son. I saw Brian the dog nearly seduce Peter’s wife. And I saw Peter get a stroke from eating 80 greasy hamburgers. If you can’t tell – I fucking LOVE this show.


DEEPER THROAT (SHOWTIME)
A variation on last year’s hard R-rated DEBBIE DOES DALLAS AGAIN, once again we have a half hour Showtime series that chronicles the remaking of a classic porn film while telling comical stories about the industry and the zany characters that inhabit it. I remember last year’s DEBBIE got very cloying at the end and seemingly either scripted or very tightly produced to get certain results. Credit Showtime with going a little further in the unscripted department this time around. Although that scene with Steve Hersch and his wife in bed might as well have been accompanied by a laugh track. What’s really and truly special about this show – one of the things that made DEBBIE as fun as it was despite its flaws – is the weekly depiction of the artistic porn director, Paul Thomas. He’s great. He simply has the very worst creative instincts every single time around, but because he’s picked up a pretentious Hollywood vibe and way of speaking – he gets away with it all the time because it SOUNDS like he knows what he’s doing. Seeing his boss yell at him over the script for DEEPER THROAT (P.T. thought it should be re-imagined as a fairy tale) was bracing – although – I think Hersch went over the top for the cameras. But this one seems to have a bit more bite than DEBBIE did, and I’ll definitely be watching to see this unfold. I just realized I didn’t mention the bit about the girls who come in to audition to be the new Linda Lovelace. It was pretty funny – all these porn chicks came to show that they have the particular “talent” this role needs. Of course, they needed to demonstrate it with a huge sex toy. And then Showtime would always cut away, which kind of – I mean – I don’t know why they felt the need to censor themselves on that – but that’s the problem with these shows about porn – they want to be lighthearted about a very dark subject matter. It’s literally a show that dwells on the comedy aspect of it (which isn’t really funny since it’s being overproduced with cloying, unfunny music.) The fiery blonde New York girl was hilarious about her skills, and I should mention that they auditioned Sasha Grey, who’s been in porn since she’s 18, and has also been a big staple in articles that cite her age and her mature attitude. She’s even going to be starring in a Soderbergh film in the next few months. Go figure. After the camera spends five minutes with her – you tend to think this very smart girl could do just about anything. She was pretty funny in a way the show is not. She was talking about the fact that “DEEP THROAT” “probably has absolutely nothing to do with Watergate.”
Grade: B


UPDATE: Watched ep 2 – and wouldn’t you know it – we are back to FULLY SCRIPTED PROGRAMMING. At its worst. Sorry, I wanted to love this – but you don’t need to script – just shoot what happens and edit it. Must we get non-actors delivering bad jokes with the worst line readings. It’s almost like a porn except without the sex. Brianna Banks, one of Vivid’s biggest stars is featured in this ep and truly sounded like a man – it was a little scary. And again, we spend just a bit of time with Sascha Grey, who honestly should just have her own show. She’s everything this show is not – smart, funny, ironic – Why, if she wasn’t in porn, I might just be forced to make an honest woman of that ms. Grey. And together, we’d forget about her porno past and start fresh….and then Seinfeld will come back for another season along with a 2 hour finale movie version of HILL STREET BLUES!
(more on the SEINFELD situation later.)


I LOVE MONEY 2 (VH1)
Ridiculous and yet – so very watchable. My money (I think) is on The Entertainer – he gotta get out of his mother’s house! But this show is undeniably fun if not terribly cohesive – actually it’s a mess, but a good kind of mess. Buddha must be stopped.


VICKY CHRISTINA BARCELONA (DVD)
The Woodman, since marrying his daughter, has stepped out and stepped it up. No longer making sophisticated films about NYC, after a string of almost shitty movies, now makes great films with international locales. This latest, about two best friends on vacation in Barcelona, takes a wild turn when they meet Javier Bardeem – a romantic Spanish artist who, after initially coming on to them for sex, ends up in a truly unique friendship with both of them – he beds one and falls for the other. He and one of the ladies are living in bliss until Penelope Cruz, who one the Oscar for her role (she’s THAT good) as Javier’s ex shows up. This is a great slice of life among the rich, eccentric and talented and it has that air about it that sort of makes you feel like you’re in that lifestyle as you watch it. Woody Allen is an amazing director and if you think he’s not relevant anymore, check out this film, which is both low-key and one of the best of the year.
Grade: A -


THE AMAZING RACE (CBS)
I don’t usually watch this but my friend MIKE WHITE and his dad are on this year – so – I have to watch and I’m enjoying what I’m seeing – this is a class act among reality shows – if a bit frantic and at times hard to follow. Still – it has a great format and Mike and his dad are kicking ass! Grade: B -


LISA LAMPONELLI (HBO)
I loved Lisa when I first became aware of her on the PAM ANDERSON. I like Lisa on the Stern show. But let’s face it – I’ve now seen her COM CENTRAL hour and now her brand new HBO hour. I’m sorry – I know she’s the hot comic of the moment – but she hasn’t changed her act in years, and her act is as thin as she is not. It’s literally the same shtick every single time – she uses the N word frequently – in fact – she slags everyone but believe me, that’s not the problem. If you want to see someone being controversial AND funny – look to Sarah Silverman – if you want to see someone just hoping that the controversial words will bring laughter – here comes Lisa Lamponelli – who not only goes for it with gusto on the racist diatribes – but she doesn’t have any real material behind it. She kind of fashions herself as the female Andrew Dice Clay – only – let’s face it – Dice used to be KILLER FUNNY – love him or hate him – he has a Point Of View to his craft and told a story. Lamponelli should just stick to short sets, the Stern show, the Kimmel show – roasts – she’s great. But for a full hour - I didn’t laugh once. And the crux of her act seems to be “Look how wild I am.” Seriously – half her stories have to do with people finding her offensive. Lisa – let me give you a little advice in that department – the idea is to go out and BE funny and controversial if you have to – THEN OTHER PEOPLE talk about it – when YOU TALK ABOUT it during your act and you pat yourself on the belly for being so “crazy” – it comes off as pathetic. Truly. Sorry – I once considered Lisa one of the best comics out there – these hour specials have exposed her as a true one trick pony. And the one trick is REALLY OLD.
Grade: D


KURT COBAIN: THE MAN & HIS WORDS (IFC)
Ok, I got the title wrong and I’m too lazy too look It up – but it plays all the time on IFC. A great docu with hours of audio recordings from Kurt himself who I think was writing a book and the dialog is played out over images that were important to Kurt’s life. Slow moving but completely moving – I loved it.
Grade: B +


THE BAD GIRLS CLUB (OXY)
More of the same. Trashy and wild, but somehow not as interesting as seasons past. Yet, this episode that took place in Cancun was pretty wild – even for this show’s standards. Throughout the episode it seemed that some horrifying incident was being foreshadowed, as clouds gathered around the two AMBERS. After a wild wet bikini contest, in which two of our Bad Girls were in and lost to a totally foxy local (sorry, but all the bad girls this season – especially the two in the contest – looks like they have put on 40 pounds each. They’re still lovely – but they ain’t winning no bikini contest – not in America – as they both said was the problem – and not anywhere. After screaming about losing the contest (which the audience voted on) one of the girls complained that she was yelled out for throwing ice – something she claims she didn’t do, somehow the anger turned towards the brighter Amber of the two Ambers. Allyeah, who I truly believe is actually mentally retarded – not just joking – she’s really in need of some help, goaded them into a fight with the Ambers and the hour ended with a disturbing street fight that left one of the Ambers laying in the street half-dead (seemingly.) I can’t wait till next week.
Grade: B -



ONE MAN, ONE CUP (THE WORLD WIDE INTERNET)
Someone evil forwarded this to me. Not only can I not even come close to describing what I saw in print – but I will say this – it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen in all my life – and I don’t know yet that I’ll ever be able to un-see it. Help me. God help me. And all of humanity.


DISTURBIA (HBO)
Catch this – it’s a DJ CARUSO directed variation of Hitchcock’s REAR WINDOW that really works. I liked this a lot, even if it is light as air.
Grade: B –


SECRET DIARY OF A CALL GIRL (SHOWTIME)
Had their season final – this is a show that pretends to know about hooking – they may know some high end details – but the shame here is that it’s a wasted opportunity to really give some insight into the prostitution world with a scripted show – and it’s so concerned with being light and romantic – it has some nice moments here and there – but otherwise, you can skip this one.
Grade: C -

Saw Valerie Bertonelli recently on the RACHEL RAY show. Watching those two together - completely nauseating.


OSCAR UPDATE: I was reminded of the ghastly IN MEMORIUM section – where they decided fancy camera angles were more important than seeing the actual footage and names of the people who died – shameful.

NIP/TUCK: 5th Season Finale’ (F/X)
SO even Sean’s new “crazy” girl – a completely unrealistic portrait of anyone if there ever was one. Vampires, psychos, cryogenics, murder, porn – it was all packed into the last episode of the next to last season of this once flawless show. Now the show is all flaw.
Grade: D


CLASSIC ALBUMS: JOHN LENNON – PLASTIC ONO BAND (VH1 CLASSIC)
What a great testament to awesome music, inspired writing and creation, the love affair between John and Yoko – a woman that tore the world in half. And in the midst of all that, the nuts and bolts that went into making such an amazing album (that might be my favorite in his catalogue – and I love them all but that one – very special CD.) Highly highly recommended.
Grade: A

No comments:

Post a Comment