Special Guest Couch Dweller: Ralph Cirella.

So, I've been sick for weeks and I just got over this nasty flu. While I was sick I watched a ton of stuff so this blog is packed - and at some point in the last year or so, my friend Ralph Cirella (Howard Stern Show) and I discussed him being a guest critic as he's one of my friends who watches almost as much as I do - and me being sick - this seemed like a good time to do it. Ralph is famous on the Stern show as much for being Howard's stylist as for his often snarky opinions (to put it really mildly.)

What I did not expect is that this guest critic's main target of criticism would be me, personally.

Thanks, Ralph.


I just got the U2 CD – have only heard it a few times thus far, but I'm starting to really like it. The third track, "Moment Of Surrender" is as good as anything the band has ever recorded. It's a gorgeous, seven minute track which now adds a near-epic to the U2 catalog.


RALPH SAYS:
I dont know about the new album, but they were GREAT on LETTERMAN.... it really looked/felt like a special event, the director did an AMAZING JOB... I have it on good authority they added a few cameras and he worked closely with BONO to make it work.
take a look if u missed it...
http://lateshow.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/live/index/php/979638.phtml?play=1




SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (NBC)
Rock hosted and Ray LaMontague sang. For the record, I’m a huge LaMontague fan – but not of the stuff he sang last night nor so much his latest CD, which shies away from his usual depressing but great sounding records (check out his ALL THE WILD HORSES which is on the RESCUE ME soundtrack – amazing.) Let’s talk about THE ROCK for a minute. He’s okay in movies – he was amusing the first time he hosted. But now he’s become that guy – that truly unfunny guy working and sweating to make you laugh – and it’s become really embarrassing that somehow Dwayne “Rock” Johnson is now supposed to always be some kind of comedian. Really. It’s enough. He was a disaster at the Grammys and now he was a disaster on SNL. We like THE ROCK – let’s not drag him into this supposed idea that he’s a hilarious man, shall we? I mean, I really do like the Rock – he’s really genial. But when did he get the reputation of a seasoned comedian? Also – the rest of the show – without THE ROCK – sucked as well – so, anyway you sliced it – SNL has started one of their better years with a run of really bad episodes. There was literally not one funny sketch on this mother fucker. Not a one.

Grade: D -


RALPH SAYS:
kind of agree.....the opening sketch was REALLY GOOD (and THE ROCK is much more then OKAY in movies and VERY GOOD with comedy) but the rest of the show BLEW... including the usually funny UPDATE... i REALLY miss AMY POHLER and PLEASE keep
J. TIMBERLAKE out of the bldg
...now theres a guy whos NOT FUNNY!

theres been ALOT to like about the show this year
RALPHGRADE: GRADE B- (SEASON OVERALL)


LOST (ABC)
(CAUTION – SPOILERS AHEAD - MAJOR SPOILERS)
I finally caught up on the last batch of 7 or 8 eps of LOST. Before I say anything else – these episodes are truly a pleasure to watch. TV at its finest in many ways. Having an ending in sight has clearly allowed the writers and producers to tell and end the story the way they want to. I have some quibbles, but first let me say what I think is RIGHT about the ABC drama in it’s 5th and next to last season.

Every episode is now answering more questions than asking. We are getting closure and for the most part, the answers seem right and (mostly) ingenious. We finally get Sawyer as a full fledged action hero, and it’s a good fit. We get a bunch of the survivors (The Oceanic 6) on dry land, we get Ben as a (seemingly) good guy – which he plays astonishingly well. Although we don't know the truth of his war with Charles Whitmore – I’m riveted by the feud.

Daniel Faraday is the best new character in the history of the series. RIP Charlotte – who (SPOILER AHEAD) – even though time-travel proved to rough for her system – in my own humble opinion – I thought Charlotte – or rather the actress that played her – was truly one of the most exquisite woman ever on prime time. Her eyes…okay, this is clearly another conversation. And a great character that I was sorry to see go – although with LOST – you never know who’ll pop back up again. (Thank God they finally answered the WALT question this very last episode.)

And while I”ve LOVED the time traveling back and forth angle – let’s talk about the few things that aren’t quite working. First of all, not for a minute did I buy the BAD SUN plot – Sun as this revenge seeking – tough talking mama who’s out to kill Ben and having these – really insipid conversations with Whitmore complete with bad “B” dialog (Remember the scene where she was detained at the airport and she was screaming at Whitmore “Why did you do this? Was is it YOU who put me in this room!!!” Really bad – seriously – thank God Jin’s alive and we don’t have to endure “Killer Sun” anymore. Also – 2 episodes ago – things got REALLY woozy and the mythology almost got seriously fucked. The idea that they would go to that house with this woman (Faraday’s mom) and she had all the answers while she sat there in that ridiculous outfit with this absolutely nonsensical explanation of how to get them back to the island – I half expected her to say “Just tap your shoes and say “There’s no place like the Island. There’s no place like the Island.” Seriously – Faraday’s mom and her whole persona and her whole way to get them back to the island – not good. An awful key moment in a mostly stellar season.

Also – I’m still not sure – why in the fuck do they all want to go back there? Ok, I can see Sun wanting to retrieve her husband after her brief career as a laughable 84 pound assassin. (Boy, did that dialogue not serve the actress well.) Oh – I almost forgot – Sawyer slapping Farraday was as unexpected as it was AWESOME. But – getting back to the Island – why? Why would the doctor want to go back? Or Kate? (maybe Kate has a thing left for Sawyer – but that still would not really explain her going back.) Hurley? Well – I still don’t think they have a great fix on his character so – I never really understand any of his motivations. Sayid and Desmond – in a million years they would never go back – to save “THE OTHERS” this weird radial group of hippies that wanted them dead. So – therein lies the problem for me – I absolutely LOVE the storytelling – but can’t really put my finger on why exactly the survivors would want to go back beyond Ben telling them “Because the Island needs you.”

I just watched the most recent episode “Les Flour” which was a completely Sawyer-centric episode and slowed things down considerably to lesieurly tell the story of what Sawyer’s been doing for the last 3 years. Really, the ep was a complete let down and I was rather bored with Sawyer’s storyline – as much as I like the actor in that role and even though the twist ending was cool – it lacked any real moments. Again – a pretty rare misstep in an otherwise amazing season.

Despite my quibbles, LOST is as alive as ever, and once again, one of the big events of the TV season.
Grade: A

RALPH SAYS:
TOTALLY AGREE....your much more analytical then me though,
I don’t dig too deep with this show, I like to sit back and enjoy
the ride. The show is SMART, FUN, SURPRISING and ALWAYS ENTERTAINING.... I'm amazed at how they can write FLASH-BACKS... FLASH FOWARDS and now TIMESHIFTING...a CONFUSING mess that ALWAYS sorts itself out and satisfies on MANY LEVELS.

MUST SEE and a MUST SEE in real time, quite a feat these days
RALPHGRADE: A+



WHAT WOULD YOU DO? (ABC)
If you haven’t seen this – this is a great show from the ABC news division. They stage these tense incidents with actors to see if people watching would jump in. (Like a woman yelling at her nanny and being racist.) Unfortunately – some of the setups are as old as a bad Candid Camera segment – usually about half the show is relevant and great and the other half sucks out loud – but tune in – there is fun to be had here.
Grade: B -


RALPH SAYS:
dont watch this show....I dont care what anyone else would do,
most people are STUPID




SOBER HOUSE (VH1)
I’m a huge fan of this show – and I realize why it’s more exciting than CELEB REHAB – because in this show – you get the celeb, you get the addiction, the rehab AND the relapses! But I have to say – there are a few things in this show that are beginning to feel – don’t laugh when you read this – but exploitive. The whole thing with Seth on his crack run was frightening and real I’m sure – but the SCOOBY GANG in their van going around looking for Seth – highlighted by a trip to a porn star’s home who they woke up (I think her name was Jessie Jane) – and when she did wake up sporting a black eye, an uncharacteristically compassionate Andy Dick asked “Did Seth give you that, baby?” I mean – this was probably the apex of insanity. And there is some weird incestuous bent to all the relationships. Mary Carrey’s boyfriend is this major douche (at least how he’s being edited) named David – and everybody in the house seems to both know him and somehow work for him. It’s weird and they don’t bother to explain all the connections and what David’s actual connection to Seth is. And Dr. Drew bringing Rodney King back to where he was beaten – I’m sure it was cathartic for Mr. King – but it felt like something that should’ve been done with the cameras off. Still – it’s unbelievably compelling. And even if it can be exploitive and ridiculous – within every episode something really great/horrifying happens (after Seth was MIA for a few days, Steve, the heavy set dude who’s the bodyguard of the house finally found him in a depressing hotel room. After they reunited, Steve said “I love this guy – he’s a fool like me.”

It’s that kind of humanity that goes a LONG way in redeeming the more exploitive moments.
Grade: A
UPDATE: Just watched the ep where Andy Dick makes amends to a lot of people – very sobering and very real. Worst of all was watching Steven Adler completely fall apart.

RALPH SAYS:
NEVER saw this show and from your description I never WILL.
I once saw a few min of CELEB REHAB, JEFF CONWAY was hunched over and feeble, and some CRACKHEAD was trying to score.
I don’t find peoples MISERY entertaining.

DIGITAL COUCH SAYS: Since fucking when?

RALPH SAYS:
I just found it DISTURBING and I'm REALLY SURPRISED that
DR. DREW NEVER gets any heat for this.

DIGITAL COUCH SAYS: Dr. Drew is a very stabilizing presence on this show – without him it’d be lost. If I ever got into this kind of trouble – Dr. Drew would be the first guy I called.


ZACK & MINI MAKE A PORNO (DVD)
How bad does Kevin Smith want to be Judd Apatow? How’s this for starters – he gets 4 or more major players from the Apatow repertory company – he allows them to completely riff on his (what he thinks is) modern relevant script (it’s not) and just improv all the shittiness of the script away. Sorry, Kevin, even Seth Rogan can’t save your ass. Even with these talented actors and an admittedly fun idea, Smith still manages to make one of the worst comedies of the year. There are a couple of funny moments – 3 or 4 maybe – tops – but mostly its Kevin Smith desperately trying to get in on the new Apatow style comedy – a style that has never suited Smith. The truth is – I’m not a fan – so read this with a grain of salt – but besides CLERKS (overrated), I don’t’ think the guy has made one decent movie since. Why doesn’t he just buy a completed film of Apatow’s and stick his name on it? It would be a lot better than this – and by the way – the “porno” they make resembles absolutely nothing related remotely to porn – and it’s as if Smith nor anyone else in this entire movie – including Katie Morgan – the porn star who does those HBO specials – and Traci Lords, looking and sounding real tired – has never seen an actual porn – it’s that bad. The endless deleted scenes are even worse. And you can see every plot twist coming from 40 miles away – the worst. Any movie that can make Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks unappealing deserves a special place in Hell.
Grade: D


RALPH SAYS:
UGH... KEVIN SMITH is a whiny bitch who ALWAYS BLAMES someone else for his MANY failures...I have ZERO interest in his CHATTY, BORING MOVIES.
...and for the record CLERKS was WAY OVERATED!




THE ACADEMY AWARDS (ABC)
Umm….what to say. Hugh Jackman is disturbing. His song & dance routine – really disturbing. Like every year – there were highs and lows. HIGH – the inspired sketch from PINEAPPLE EXPRESS. LOW – Hugh Jackman sitting in Frank Langella’s lap. LOW – Sean Penn beating Mickey Rourke. By the way – I read something hilarious but don’t remember where so I can’t properly attribute it – but it went something like “Sean Penn won for MILK with the EXACT same performance he gave in I AM SAM without the mental retardation.” I kind of agree – Penn WAS great in a good movie – but he played a flawless character with no real arc. Rourke, on the other hand – took us through that guy’s entire life with clear precision – Rourke literally took all the other nominees to school on this one – but what do I know? Anyway – how many years are they NOT going to ask their main man, Jimmy Kimmel, to host this fucking thing? And the past presenters giving their personal notes to the nominees – awkward. Particularly Adrien Brody’s strange, rambling presentation to a mystified Richard Jenkins.
Grade: B –

RALPH SAYS:
B-!!...were u HIGH when u watched this??? this was ABSOLUTELY THE WORST FUCKING broadcast of the show EVER.
I tuned out/zoned out SEVERAL TIMES.
I TOTALLY agree HUGH JACKMAN was disturbing.... starting off with him PRANCING around to that ill-conceived low rent prop extravaganza was more then EMBARRASSING....
yeah I got the attempted joke there, but it wasnt funny.

As for the AWARDS themselves PENN TOTALLY deserved it, he was ACTING.... ROURKE was just playing HIMSELF, BASICALLY.
HATED that SYMPATHY VOTE for LEDGER.
-speaking of the JOKER someone PLEASE tell ANN HATAWAY to stop doing her makeup like a CLOWN!!

I LOVED the 5 PRESENTERS, for me that was the only saving grace of the night, problem is it happened in the first and last half hour....EVERYTHING in between was completely unsatisfying.

RALPHGRADE: a solid D for DULL.





JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE! AFTER THE OSCARS (ABC)
Ok, this had a lot to live up to after last year’s “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck.” And he did it – the Mel Gibson interview was nothing short of genius. From minute one when Mel got out there and Jimmy asked “can I say Shalom?” to Jimmy telling Gibson that he should trademark “Sugartits” (which Mel claims he didn’t actually say – but wished he had) – and the whole thing was just kind of wonderful and gave Mel a chance to re-connect to the public he angered. Who knows if it worked. I don’t think it was really about that – I was genuinely curious about Mel at this point. I don’t know what the deal is with his new beard and such – but 1 – it’s nice to see Mel embracing old age – 2 – Kimmel & Co. worked wonders with it with the near-perfect KFC movie starring Mel Gibson (You Tube it – it’s that funny – you tube the whole interview.)

When things looked like they could not get any funnier – We got a “behind the scenes of the Kimmel Live! Promo” – who knew that the next great comedy team just might be Kimmel & Cruise? Every year Jimmy’s after Oscar show is better than the actual Oscars – when do they give this man the hosting gig? I mean, we’ve had Ryan Seacrest, Howie Mandel, Whoopi Goldberg, Hugh Jackman – who’s next – William Hung? But – back to this hour – awesome.
Grade: A +

RALPH SAYS:
I REALLY enjoyed JIMMYS after show too, esp. the stuff with CRUISE, and the show in general has been really good but...
"GENIUS"-"WONDERFUL" -"KIMMEL and CO. WORKED WONDERS"

STOP embarrassing yourself. You love JIMMY. We get it.


HOWARD TV (ON DEMAND)
Have been catching up a bit on some of these great segments from the greatest radio show in the world:

GARY VS. ARTIE
This was great. Gary was under the impression that Artie did not want him in Afganistan when Artie went to entertain the troops. He might’ve been right but Artie backed off the sentiment – which lead to some GREAT insane stories of Artie losing it overseas. Artie said there was one soldier who he had only known as this very nice guy and at some point the soldier had to get Artie in a headlock and tell him to get back in his room. Artie said he marched.
Grade: A

Gary’s TAKE ME BACK video (aka “hello hello”)
This was a video Gary made I think in the late 80s or early 90s to try and win back his girlfriend. Anyone who’s ever written any kind of “take me back” email or video would relate to this – though they showed the video straight – rather than the segment where Howard auctioned off seats and commented on every line – which is the version which I prefer – still – for pure humiliation grounded in humanity – it doesn’t’ get more humiliating than this – and god bless Gary for having a sense of humor about it.
Grade: A

RALPH SAYS:
A CLASSIC among CLASSICS!!! I'm not sure about that sense of humor though....If GOD didn't bless him with $20,000 (or whatever he got paid for showing it) u would have NEVER seen it!





EAST BOUND & DOWN (HBO)
Nothing less than the hands-down funniest new show in recent memory. The first 2 were stellar and star Danny McBride as a washed up pitcher who’s forced to move back to his home town and live with his brother and his horrified family. There are so many good jokes, so many great moments – Danny gets a job as a substitute teacher and walks into the lunchroom and announces to the faculty “There are four kids raping a 6th grader – awww, I’m just kidding!” The humor is as crass as it gets, Danny is a much of a mess as one person can possibly be. In episode two he agreed – for 200 bucks, to make a guest appearance at a local car dealership run by a wig wearing insane Will Ferrel – who completely humiliated Danny until the former pitcher was forced to take ecstacy and show up at a school dance of which he is faculty. This is fresh, unpredictable writing – every single scene goes in the opposite direction you were expecting and McBride is the best at being the worst. This show is DA BOMB. You can start from the beginning ON DEMAND. Highest recommendation.
Grade: A +

RALPH SAYS:
been on the fence with this one but based on your review i'll def check it out


THE BIGGEST LOSER (NBC)
Ok – Bob literally CRYING about the changing of the teams – leading to a 20 minute montage of Bob, thought tears, remembering the workout moments with his trainees…ok, this is starting to get RETARDED. Bob is fucking CRYING on the show because they split the teams – and Jillian is not far behind. By the way – the show is getting to the point where people have lost even 100 pounds and are starting to look great – that’s the money shot of this show – the weigh ins – not all the other bullshit with the complicated games – believe me. This is really simple - just show us huge giant people losing massive amounts of weight. That’s all we ask. Thank you.
Grade: B -

RALPH SAYS:
UGH...I've NEVER watched this....I HATE when people get rewarded for doing what they should be doing in the first place!


REAL TIME W/ BILL MAHER (HBO)
Maher returns not a moment too soon. I’ve always loved this show – I loved it on ABC before they gave it the ax – but I do have this one negative thing to say. Bill – you are funny, very insightful and often times brilliant. Your interplay with your carefully selected guests is always great. But Bill – as a friend who doesn’t know you – please heed my advice – for GOD’S SAKES – STOP WITH THE FUCKING BITS. What can we do to beg you to stop? THEY ARE NOT FUNNY. Truly not funny. And you trying to make them funny only makes you look lame – keep the show – drop the bits. They are a cancer on your otherwise healthy show. I say this with love – let it go.
Grade: A -

RALPH SAYS:
CONSISTENTLY GREAT and a MUST SEE, ignore the bad bits...just be happy they dont last as long as some of those bad SNL SKITS...
besides, the ALWAYS BRILLIANT NEW RULES makes up for it.
speaking of SNL, check this out, from awhile back but STILL CRACKS ME UP...
http://www.hulu.com/watch/47604/saturday-night-live-digital-short-j-in-my-pants


MR. WOODCOCK (HBO)
Ridiculous. Not funny. Worst of all – in the last 20 minutes – the bad film goes from bad laughs to bad sentiment. There seemed to be something funny in the premise, but it was never realized.
Grade: D

RALPH SAYS:
D?....CMON MAN... that was a funny premise and had its moments...although it did fall apart at the end.
RALPHGRADE: C+

30 ROCK (NBC)
Continues to be one of the funniest shows on network TV – BUT – they have to stay away from the more surreal storylines and stay GROUNDED and about the weekly show they put on and not get into these crazy flights of fancy with…the weird stuff they do in a lot of episodes. Still, even at it’s worst, it’s great.
Grade: B +

UPDATE: Just watched the episode from last Thursday. The best moment of it – and perhaps one of the funniest moments of the season – Jack Donagy explaining, with great pain in his heart, the ending of HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS. That speech alone was worth the price of admission.
Grade: A

RALPH SAYS: I agree, i'm not always so into it when they get too surreal but the OPRAH episode was pretty out there and still an A+ ...u gotta take a shot sometimes with the absurd.
Bottom line: the show is ALWAYS GREAT and BALDWIN is always BRILLANT!...and BRING BACK THE BEEPER KING!!
RALPHGRADE: consistently B+ to A+


CELEBRITY APPRENTICE (ABC)
What can you really say about this show? It’s been on forever – the format is completely the same pretty much every year. I actually prefer this new incarnation with the celebrities as its fun to watch them go after each other. But this first installment was no different from any other – just the celebs have changed. To that end – here is what stuck out in my mind – first of all – I’m rooting for Claudia from DEAL OR NO DEAL – she’s a friend and starred with Jess Zaino on TLC’s late, great series “GIRLS MODERN GUIDE TO LIFE.” That aside – that girl poker player looks pretty tough – thought I’d never heard of her. There are about 4 or 5 people – I don’t know who they are. Scott Hamilton is a weirdo with all his weird enthusiasm. Brandy Roderick (is that her name?) seems like one of these generic model/Playboy types who just…I don’t know. She’s made a living out of being pretty and then wants to be patted on the back for it – I guess.

Joan Rivers has had so much plastic surgery that it’s beginning to get really disturbing and poor Joan looks great from some angles – from others – she really does look like Donald Duck. I like the presence of her daughter, Melissa – they seem to be attached at the hip on every TV project either one of them does – but Joan is clearly the one with the charisma – Melissa seems nice – but she has zero personality on here. Dennis Rodman was his usual weird self – saying and doing little but just sort of being there and getting angry when he’s accused (rightfully so) of doing nothing. Some Monster Truck guy is there who’s lame.

Tom Greene – who I never found funny even when he was hot – comes off as fairly normal and nice – except for the one moment where he tried to be funny and it just got awkward. But hands down – the biggest mess this year was Andrew Dice Clay – the first guy to get kicked off (deservedly so) and just – a total mess. Anyone who reads this blog knows I love Dice and used to think he was the best comic around (he’s still funny when he does his thing both on stand-up and in the Stern studios) but here, on the Trump show, he seemed ill at ease, tired, cranky, petulant, every bit the character he supposedly “plays.” I felt bad for the horrified girl in the office he asked out. Worst of all was him thinking he had an audience of millions – he’d remind them what a great comedian he was – huge mistake. His 40 year old impression of Travolta (he still does the Travolta routine from WELCOME BACK KOTTER – seriously) and a REALLY wonky impression of Stallone that my niece could probably best him on – Dice – stick to the filthy material and it would’ve been nice to see you on here with a decent attitude instead of thinking you’re some kind of diva. He kept referring to the fact that he was bigger than everyone else in the room and that nobody ever sold out Madison Square Garden 3 nights in a row like him. And it’s like – Yeah, Dice – we know that – that was cool. It was also 92’. It’s 17 years later – you’re not the same guy so – act like a human being and instead he acted like a moron and made any Dice fan embarrassed to have once championed him. Throwing him off – that was tricky because he was bound to be more of a train wreck – but maybe Trump had mercy and saved the man from himself. I almost forgot – Donald Trump, Jr. Wow – he’s been around the show for years – he always sounds weird and awkward when he talks – that explanation about what he’s doing with his life by his father – WOW. This guy must be doing nothing but CELEB APPRENTICE. That said – he’s already starting in with the insanity of the hair like his dad. I can’t even describe nor explain what he does with his hair. Dude – cut the hair short and be done with it. Just how psychologically fucked up are you that you are trying to emulate the worst hair-do in the entire planet?
Grade: B –

UPDATE: I heard Dice on the Stern radio show and he had a very credible reason for being such a train wreck on the show – of course, mixed in with a good dose of Dice style self-sabotage.

RALPH SAYS:
DAMN... THAT’S quite the exhaustive review... EDIT MAN, EDIT!
anyway, this was the first time in AWHILE I was interested in the show and it didn't disappoint...although I wish they had kept DICE on a little longer esp. when I heard him explain on THE STERN SHOW why he was such an uncooperative pain in the ASS.


do all the TRUMP men HAVE to have BAD HAIR??
RALPHGRADE: A


NOTE TO JIMMY FALLON:
Dude, stop going around and talking about how your show is going to be so fucking funny because unlike all the other shows, you’re into the internet and Twitter. The fucking guy is running around saying because he’s using TWITTER his show rules. Jimmy Fallon, what in the fuck are you talking about? You don’t need the internet. People aren’t tuning in to see you play with a computer. What people would like is some hard comedy – the kind that makes them laugh. Then, after the monoluage – it usually works best if you actually have some curiosity and enthusiasm about your guests. Get it together. Although – I don’t know – Conan has made a living off not being funny for 15 years and now he’s getting the 11:30 slot, so what do I know? And Leno hasn’t made me laugh in the last 15 years and he’s getting 10:PM – so who knows? I just know that Fallon should shut up already about how the internet is what’s going to separate him from the pack – that may be true – but boy, will it not be in the way you want it to be. I think Fallon’s late night career will turn out worse than his big screen one. Good luck,

UPDATE: I saw a batch of eps. Fallon is really bad. He’s comes out and gives these monologues that he doesn’t seem to believe in. His bits, for the most part – are horrible. And he was supposed to innovate his whole process with TWITTER – instead he’s like – in an SNL sketch almost pretending to be in a bad tv talk show. Deniro interview was a fucking disaster. Cameron Diaz came out and looked great, but Jimmy Fallon has no idea what to ask since all he seems to care about is what people think of him – like because he’s cute and genial everyone’s going to just fall in love with him – despite the fact that he can’t conduct an interview to save his life. He reminds of a girl on a nervous first date. Then he had Drew Barrymore – of course the whole world knows that Fallon is married to Drew’s producing partner – and Drew is every bit as annoying as Tattiana from IDOL. I swear she is. She comes out with this cow-pie grin like everything is just so fucking wonderful in the air she’s in – she was like “Jimmy – you’re like family – you’re the funniest human being I know!!!!!!” And it’s all this fake, pie in the phoney hollwyood shit – yikes.

I know it’s just the beginning – but I’ll be shocked if this works.

RALPH SAYS:
Saw EPISODE 3 (CAMERON DIAZ), I'll say upfront I've NEVER been a fan of FALLONS...at all....cant stand that FAKE, GEE GOLLY, MESSY HAIRED, nice guy act he does (see SANDLER, SAMBERG).
Trying so hard to be likeable makes him TOTALLY UNLIKABLE...
one step above DANE COOK in the comedy world.

All that being said I obviously wasn’t expecting much
...and he didn't disappoint.
HOSTING a talk show is CLEARLY a role he’s not cut out for...
DURING the UNFUNNY monologue he appeared NERVOUS and UNSURE....Then it was on to some VERY LAME bits...BROMANCE NOVEL covers and THE WORST, some ill conceived celebrity feud thing with audience members that i cant even EXPLAIN
(which is supposed to be a recurring bit...lets hope not!)

His interview with CAMERON DIAZ was HORRIBLE...
he was LISPING, MUMBLING and talking over her answers.
(*NOTE to FALLON...it helps if u let the guest talk, esp. after u ask them a question) Then as you mention, he tries way too hard to be "with it" and reads questions for her that people submitted from TWITTER...and TERRIBLE ones at that.
UGH!....HOW LAME and DESPERATE...
you cant think of any questions yourself?!

The one and only HIGH POINT was the DANCE OFF with DIAZ...
FUN and GOOFEY...they should have just done that the entire show!
...the good news is it CANT get ANY WORSE!
RALPHGRADE... NONE...DO OVER!



I’ve been seeing the promos for DUPLICITY, in which Julia Roberts plays a brilliant, scheming woman to Clive Owen’s equally slippery character. There are shots of Roberts being “brilliant” and other shots of her resurrecting her thousand watt smile and laugh – I don’t know about you guys, but it made me throw up in my mouth.


RALPH SAYS:
YEAH...LOOKS AWFUL..... like one of those trailers you'd see in a movie for a fake movie...yaknow?? ... and speaking of BAD MOVIES dont waste your time/money on....

STEP BROTHERS...couple funny moments but WAY too over the top and GRATUITOUS... there appeared to be no script, and they just let those guys loose to do whatever the F they wanted.

RIGHTEOUS KILL... DUMB PREDICTABLE story that doesnt come close to living up to the potential of these two LEGENDARY ACTORS.... one of them alone in this would be bad enough, but to bring them together for such a useless piece of shit is a CRIME!


STREET KINGS (HBO)... WOW....TOTAL SHIT!
cant imagine how upset i'd be if i actually paid to see that mess

On more POSITIVE NOTES just saw LAST CHANCE HARVEY...
GOOD SUNDAY AFTERNOON LOVE STORY.
also check out BODY of LIES...DICAPRIO NEVER disappoints.

On the TV front STOP with all that REALITY CRAP man and get into some quality programming like...


BSG
continues to be the best show on television.
Z-ROCK
ROCKERS at NIGHT...KIDS PARTY BAND by DAY....
good guest stars and awkward situations.
24
GREAT CAST* and storylines...yeah, ALOT of the same notes but EVERY EPISODE is SOLID....a wkly MINI-MOVIE
*except for the ALWAYS ANNOYING GARAFALO
SHOOT HER JACK... PLEASE!!!
FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS
as good as ever... I want to live in that town... GO PANTHERS!
BIG BANG THEORY
gets a little too GEEKY sometimes, but can be VERY FUNNY
NEW ADVENTURES of OLD CHRISTINE
ALWAYS makes me laugh out loud...almost as good as 30 ROCK
FRINGE
another GREAT CAST and VERY WELL WRITTEN...
INTRIGUING SUBPLOT

THANKS for having me....CIRELLA OUT!