JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE! (abc)
Last night's Jake Byrd segment was insanely funny. Check it out on youtube here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FPIMMTx6n4
(sorry - don't know how to make this link hot - but cut and paste - this is that funny.)
DATELINE: THE TAKING OF PATTY HEARST (NBC)
Great new docu on the forever fascinating kidnapping of Patty Hearst by the ASL. I’ve never drawn a real conclusion as to what went on there but this hour provided lots of new insight. It's also a story I somehow can't get enough of.
Grade: B
DRIVEN (HBO)
Sly Stallone and Burt Reynolds – written by Sly and Directed by Renny Halan. An older race car driver (stallone) is called out of retirement by his old boss (Burt Reynolds) to stage a comeback on the road.
Written by Stallone.
Directed by Renny Harlen.
Grade: F
AMERICAN TEEN (DVD – Paramount)
Simply the best documentary I’ve seen in forever and the kids are pretty real, smart, straightforward, insecure, self hating and unforgettable. A home run.
Grade: A +
PRIMETIME: THE JACKSONS AFTER MICHAEL (ABC)
AND ALL OTHER VARIOUS JACKSON SPECIALS
I felt bad when I heard about MJ. We share the same b-day (aug 29) and I always felt close to him in some weird way because of that. During the 80s there was no bigger MJ fan than I – I can perfectly moonwalk (I swear.) At this point - there is nothing left to say. Joe Jackson is criminally scary - his mom seems weird - Debbie Rowe is out of her mind - Tito seems criminally stupid "Michael fathered those kids - look in their eyes - that's Michael in their eyes - Eyes don't lie..." But for whatever its worth - the 2 weeks that followed his death I could not get enough of his old CDs. God only knows what he did with those kids - and in death he really achieved something he could never obtain while alive - a bona fide comeback.
PARIS HILTON’S NEW BFF (MTV)
Insanly bad and yet…deliciously good. The premise is so retarded – Paris is so thick – yet someone it works….somehow.
Grade: C –
THE X FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE (HBO)
Much better than the reviews had suggested – this was not some big sweeping mythology baiting swan song, but rather an intriguing follow up to the lame duck final episode which had a whole 2 hours of Mulder being taken to court by the FBI over his findings (it was a ridiculously bad ending and completely anti-climactic which put Mulder on the run from the FBI for the rest of his life – it was that bad.) This film handily makes up for the finale’s bullshit and jumps right back into the fray with our favorite subject – Mulder and Scully – it picks up reasonably where the finale left off – it has a so-so X-Files case involving Billy Connolly (only Chris Carter - famous purvert and porn addict - would posit a child molester as his hero - seriously) but it actually does further all the arcs and relationships and includes quite a few sweet surprises for long time X fans. This is not a great movie, but rather a really tasty follow up to a series that had seen its better days long before that final hour rolled. Reccomendded for completists and X fans alike – and for the record – they could make a few more of these and I’d be happy to watch them.
There is still a lot of life left in this franchise, and while I enjoy watching Duchovny get his freak on in CALIFORNICATION, this is clearly the best role he’ll ever have and his chemistry with Gillian Anderson remains a high point in this. I thought the ending could have put a wrap on the entire series as they could've realized this might be their final bow, but frankly, it does not go quite far enough in putting this to bed. I hope there's another one - with a better stand alone story.
Grade: B
PAULA ABDUL NOT ON IDOL?
Say it isn’t so. Though I’ve attacked her many times in this very blog, I’ve come to appreciate her insane brand of criticism and her unpredictable medically prescribed moments of insanity. Basically, she puts on a freak show that we all love watching – without her – it’s just Simon’s trenchant words that mean anything – the new girl Karla is bright but as for the show – she stinks – and Randy is as useless as always, dawg. Simon and Paula have the real chemistry here (and Simon and Ryan – interestingly enough) – and if I were Paula I’d recognize that this is home – take the money and make a drug induced run.
UPDATE: It's official - she's gone. It was fun while it lasted. Be prepared for a few really bad Paula driven competition shows.
MEAGAN WANTS A MILLIONAIRE (vh1)
Meagan is a beautiful and wretched presense. The men here are kind of pathetic and hilarious. Sounds like another winner. The ultimate problem is that of any great movie – Meagan is a great foil but not somebody we care at all about.
Grade: C -
LOLITA (68’ Stanley Kubrick Version)
I really liked this movie. I’d never seen it before – nor the remake, nor read the book. From what I have heard, the book is great and this film could not at the time really portray what was going on in the book. The funny thing is – it works to Kubrick’s advantage – in a weird way – the less he said – the more salacious the impliciation. In fact, by the time this hits the half-way mark, we believe that debauchery is going on that might not even be intended.
That said – there are some problems here – “Lolita” was cast to be not all that young – in the book she was 13 – here she’s cusping 17 and looks quite womanly – although it still works – just does not come off quite as scandalous. I also have to say – I had the entire Peter Sellers character quite wrong – although – even though it was a big reveal – (no spoilers) – there were aspects of it that did not really play out. Still, this is a very sturdy movie with a killer lead performance by James Mason, unafraid to take the role after half of Hollywood had turned it down.
Grade: B +
BROOKE KNOWS BEST (VH1)
Brooke goes green! C’mon Guys!
Grade: F
RESCUE ME (FX)
Winding down from a VERY high wire and ambitious season with a spate of episodes that seem like after thoughts. This has been such a good season I hope they are planning some big time stuff for the final few eps. Either way, this has been a great year for a 5 year old show that I look forward to coming back again. This was their make it or break it year and they made it – I just hope that they shake off the 22 episode fatigue and go out of season 5 in as much style as they came into it.
Grade: B +
TRUE BLOOD (HBO)
No human nature truth telling, no real life lesssons, just good old fashioned vampire yarns in a creepy, swampy town. And now with its most recents twists – this is better than ever. Sunday's episode was INSANE.
Grade: A +
THE HOTTIE & THE NOTTIE (DVD)
Yet another example of a film so bad, it’s delicious. Paris Hilton gives this her best shot – which is to say – she’s incompressible bad in this incomprehensibly plotted out film. The actress playing the “nottie” is really the best thing about this – and by HOTTIE – they mean Paris – playing an even dumber version of her public persona, and THE NOTTIE – is CLEARLY beautiful in a film beset by truly tragic lighting and direction problems – in which THE NOTTIE sometimes looks beautiful (her 3rd grade prostetichs don’t really hold the illusion that she’s ugly up very well.)
There are some ok actors in this – the story does have some kind of arc – but this is all very ridiculous – and perfect for a lazy Sunday with popcorn if you’re in the mood for a flim with 100 percent unintentional laughs. My favorite bit has to do with the Nottie – who at the beginning of the film is balding – gets a treatment at a spa and walks out with the nicest head of hair ever seen in the movies. The explanation – they slipped her a little Rogaine at her one hour treatment and it transformed her hair.
It’s that kind of shoddy research (P. Hilton was a producer on this – HUUUUGE), along with the male lead coming to yoga class in tight jeans – which, by the way – nobody batted an eyelash at – that makes this film so sinfully good.
I watched it with one of my best friends in July and we’re still laughing about it. As a real movie – don’t go near it. As something to make fun of and laugh at - highly recommended.
Grade: A/F
EASTBOUND & DOWN (HBO)
I recently caught up with all 6 original HBO eps and I’m convinced this was the comedy event of the tv season. Amazing – and about as funny as television gets – Kenny Powers – you are fucking in. And the guy that plays Stevie – he’s a miracle and maybe the most originally weird character ever in the history of a tv show. And as for April, Power’s ex – enchanting. The rest of the cast is every bit as rock solid and this series, thus far, is one for the record books. Never before have I rooted so hard for such an insane and messed up in every possible way protagonist. One of my favorite lines “I’m in the autumn of my youth and I would just like some peace, quiet and a warm glass of wine.”
Grade: A+
RANDOM FLIPPINGS:
Jay Mohr doing his Chris Walken impression on RACHEL RAY - I did not see the actual impressions - I just saw Mohr with that stupid fucking grin and Rachel say "We're here with Jay Mohr, Chris Walken and Tracey Jordan! (Tracey Jordan is now the go-to impression for no-talents who can't really do impressions) - Jay Mohr is on it!...
Zach uncovering a MURDERER by taking off the person's wig and revealing them to be a man on SAVED BY THE BELL...
The entire new season of BIG BROTHER kind of sucks....these might be the cheeziest characters ever - the fact that they are real people is almost disturbing...
Check out the latest Noel Gallaher (one half of Oasis) club shows on YOUTUBE...
Also check out thhe 2009 PROMS version of NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU on YOUTUBE - Sinead O'Conner gained 30 pounds, a full head of hair and still sings like an angel...
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