DECADES EDITION part II

THE BEST OF THE YEAR – PART II…

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Now when I see something great/bad/mediocre – you can hear about it as soon as I figure out how to "tweet" from my cell phone.

What a douche I’ve become.


I will have more reviews coming - I had a recent tragedy in my extended family which has kept me away from the TV and the theaters. That said – not only was I able to see a couple of things during the week, but I came across a Word file on my computer from a few months ago, so in addition to some new reviews, here are some vintage COUCH reviews that have not seen the light of day just yet.

By the way, when I say “Sandra Bullock bravely plays a white woman who takes an interest in a young black man…” that is what’s called FUCKING SARCASM.

A lot of people didn’t understand how I could find THE HANGOVER funny, yet overrated. I will explain since I got quite a few emails and much ball busting over that review – yes, THE HANGOVER definitely has its moments along with an ingenious premise. That said – the movie doesn’t make you laugh the way…say SOMETHING ABOUT MARY did, or even SUPERBAD. It’s a clever comedy that somehow got billed as the funniest movie ever – and it’s not. But its funny enough to recommend.

Also - I do these fast and don't do a whole lot of going over them as I think my first impressions are kind of what's real about this blog. That means I have shit spelling and I get actors names wrong or mispell them. To be honest - I could care less how Mariah (100 people told me 1 R her name) spells her name. I do care that her performance in PRECIOUS was awesome - but give me a break. Blogs were made for mispelling.

But there is a review that bothers me – there were two films last week that I reviewed before finishing.

UP
I reviewed and basically dismissed before finishing that last half hour.
I still have yet to look at the last half hour.
But I will.

THE BLIND SIDE
…got a great review from me – unfortunately – the second half of this film goes total wish-fullfillment cheeseball bullshit bordering on fantasy. I know it’s a true story, and the performances are uniformly good, and the first half is particularly good, but Sandra Bullock’s character becomes not only a saint half way through, but a walking 5 camera sitcom with no laugh track. The scene where she just can’t wait on line to fill out a form, then cuts to the front of the line and the guy she cuts says "go ahead - I have to hear this." That was fucking retarded. Sandra Bullock threatening a group of dangerous gang members by telling them about her gun she keeps at home – even more fucking retarded.

Still a good film – but far from the great one I had thought it might be.
THE BLIND SIDE:
NEW GRADE:
C –



FUNNY PEOPLE (DVD)
I rebelled against seeing this film for a long time. Judd Apatow is one of my favorite writer/producer/directors. He made 41 YR. OLD VIRGIN and KNOCKED UP, two fantastic comedies, and was involved in many more of my favorites, like FORGETTING SARAH MARSHAL, SUPERBAD, TALLADEGA NIGHTS and WALK HARD.

Not to mention FREAKS AND GEEKS. One of the best series EVER. (If you don’t believe me, go out and rent the single season 18 episode cycle – truly one of the finest hours ever on the air and perhaps the most realistic depiction of high school since James at 15.)

But calling your movie FUNNY PEOPLE and having it BE about FUNNY PEOPLE…that struck me as a bit…pretentious. But I talked to a friend of mine whom I respect and who’d seen it and he really liked it. Based on his short review, I finally unspooled the copy of it that had been sitting on my coffee table.

I liked the first half of FUNNY PEOPLE so much, that I was giddy. I thought it just might be the greatest film of the year, and one of the best of all time. That is how much I liked where this movie was going. It had the same vibe as ALMOST FAMOUS, but somehow, I related to this even more. The scene where Sandler as a famous comedy standup/actor named George Simmons (never better – truly – the performance of his lifetime) brings Seth Rogan as Ira Wright (also a career best playing against type as a geeky stand up writer) to the MY SPACE gig on his private jet over James Taylor’s “Going to Carolina” is one of 2009’s great movie moments. Later, when Sandler, whose prickish comic is responsible for a dozen clearly horrible hit movies (hilariously depicted here as variation of Sandler’s real life moronic fables – such as MERMAN) ends up bringing home two women well…it just felt very real and very informed. Judd Apatow lived with Sandler during and after college and wrote jokes for him and many other comics, and the film delivers on the kicky sequences of watching them craft jokes and then performing it onstage.

Okay, it’s a bit of an insiders film – but most films are about something. For some reason the people who read your stuff always say “never do a film about the biz” and yet – at the end of the year some of the very best films are always “about the biz.” The two movies the first half of this brought to mind were LENNY, which – if you haven’t seen, you should as Dustin Hoffman brilliantly plays Lenny Bruce and depicts how Lenny got really fucked up by the controversial nature of his act (back then he was dangerous – now his routines seem rather quaint.) The other movie I was thinking of was PUNCHLINE, which was utter garbage. Tom Hanks as a brilliant, (brilliant only because everyone said that – not one funny set was delivered in that film) tortured comedian and Sally Field – oy vey, let’s forget about that horrible fucking movie. (I will ruin it even further – at the end Tom Hanks “bravely” – yes Sal, that is a fucking sarcastic line, - Hanks BRAVELY throws his performance and lets Sally Field win the comedy competition. That was the big ending. They should all be very proud of that piece of shit film.)

Anyway, back to this good one, Jonah Hill and Jason Shwartzman are pitch perfect as Ira’s insecure roommates. The clips from Jason’s NBC TV show “Yo, Teach” are priceless. And frighteningly real. Rounding out the cast – the girl who looks like UGLY BETTY who Ira wants to go out with but Schwartzman, in one of the best lines of the film, gets to first, is really good, if not terribly funny. But she sort of looks and gets the part. I just didn't really buy her as a comic in the Janine Garafalo mode.

Best of all, mostly, the jokes and the routines in this are pretty funny. Most movies about stand ups have them go out there and suck. Not true on SEINFELD and not true here. I actually laughed from the sets (which Apatow had the comic actors write on their own and then filmed them at places like The Improv.)

As Sandler gets worse from his blood disease, he and Ira get closer and this is also one of the most compelling things about this film, which does carry a touch of the Cameron Crowe vibe in the best way.

Not to reveal spoilers here, but allow me to say that the 2nd half of this very long film (I saw a version that was well over 2 hours) takes such a bizarre left turn that the movie – unfortunately – never really recovers. Ira and George go on the road to do some comedy and run into George’s ex – the one that got away (played admirably by Judd’s real life wife, Leslie Mann, an actress who’s done fine supporting work in some of his other films – but here is given too much, and a thankless role at that.) Eric Bana is also in this and while he’s very good, by the time the four of them are duking it out on the lawn – something has gone terribly awry in both the direction and writing and arc of this film.

I get it – Sandler doesn’t learn from his mistakes. But they get into that idea in such a clunky way that – it doesn’t work. And then the messes start piling up. The completely gratuitous scene in which Sandler throws a party and many current comics, actors and rap stars show up and then exchange in some really warmed over ENTOURAGE shit that wasn’t funny the first time around. Case in point: witness the complete bullshit of the Ray Romano/Eminem exchange. Suddenly this perceptive precise film is now presenting a party in which every comic is somehow ON or CLUELESS.

It kind of starts to suck and resemble a bad sitcom in its third leg. Massively disappointing and a true let down that it doesn’t just go down the path it started out on.

That said, the last 10 minutes tidy things up a bit and while I ultimately liked this movie a lot, and hey – sometimes interesting failures are way better than mediocre successes – but what makes this one sad to me is that this came SO CLOSE to being that great movie.

I still highly recommend it, but you’ll see what I’m talking about.

Grade: (with a heavy sigh): B + (based on the first half – but it could’ve been so much more.)


500 DAYS OF SUMMER (DVD)
A very fine, creative screenplay brings to life the story of two people who were probably never meant to be together. Joseph Gordon Levitt plays a greeting cards writer who hooks up with assistant SUMMER, played by Zooey Deschanel (great name) as the two get into a relationship that is at turns sweet and sour. The gimmick here is a good one – the film charts the relationship in 500 days but does so by picking certain days then moving to others – giving it a constant ebb and flow that might not have been so easy to take in a linear narrative.

Here’s the thing – I love Zooey as an actress. I fucking hated her character. She wanted her cake and to eat it, too. Meanwhile, Joey Gordon is reduced to playing the guy who has to go along with all of her madcap whims. And yet – he’d probably be happy doing that – but she won’t give him the one thing he wants – to admit she loves him and that they’re an actual couple, so some of the days are wonderous, some torturous, and some of the dialoge is so movie-centric cutesy that the entire audience is almost invited to cut their writs in unison.

The thing is, the whole setup is designed for you to not like her. The entire romance is played out from the male POV only, and while there are times when Levitt's character is a little insensitive, this is a guy's fuck you letter to some woman who he feels wronged by - it would be curious to see what her POV was but that's not the way this film goes down.

But it’s a good tortured romantic film, the two leads play their roles well and the movie – it’s just kind of frustrating and a bit overdone for my tastes. (Very rarely does a movie get the characters to do “testimonials” about life and have it work. Here – it does not.)

Also – look, I’m a guy, I’ve been in these relationship with the Ice Queen who doesn’t let you in – and those relationships always become all about her. And while this is something that happens often in life – watching it happen is like watching your worst most tortured relationships play out on screen – not that fun. My anxiety started to rise as soon as Zooey lets her mean freak flag fly all over Joey Gordon’s nice guy character who just wants a girlfriend – not a psychological pummeling.

And Zooey/Summer tries WAY too hard to be cute, quirky and funny. Way too hard. As does the film. But kudos to the innovative screenplay and the moments that work - they work really well.
Grade: C +

I THINK I MISSED mentioning TWO OF THE YEAR’S BEST MOVIES.
TYSON (great Tyson documentary that demands to be seen.)
TWO LOVERS


Here are some older reviews I’d never posted:
MY ANTIONIO (VH1)
Antonio seems like a nice, slightly brain damaged fella. The girls here are all hot, and all developmentally slow as well. Antionio’s mother…is one for the books. This show should be fun but somehow it’s….pretty much a bore. Antonio is a bit too serious and self important and like I said, slightly retarded - and the casting doesn’t really make for the kind of lunacy we expect from these types of shows. The presence of Antiono’s ex here is just kind of pathetic and on the mean side. I check out after episode #3.
Grade: D


DADDY’S GIRLS (MTV)
A spin off of RUNS HOUSE – which I’ve never seen. I accidently caught this and found it to be an overly scripted reality show that has no resemblance whatsoever to anything remotely real, or the least bit entertaining.
Grade: D –


BIG BROTHER (CBS)
Another casting nightmare, this usually great peep into the lives of strangers got bogged down in some of the cheesiest cast members since season 1. Another early check out.

TYSON (in theaters)
A must see. Mike Tyson is open, honest and candid – and often quite chilling. His remembrences of a misspent youth and friends who are gone is wrenching, and you havne’t quite lived till you’ve heard Tyson call the woman who sent him to prison (for rap) “that wretched, wretched woman.”
Grade: A

HOWARD TV – your love of this network, a pay cable channel available only on ON DEMAND is dependant upon your love of Stern. I’ve been a listener for over 25 years and show no signs of slowing down. Plus, this channel gets you all the stuff you missed, all the stuff you didn’t see on the original segment, original outrageous programming, and is frequently the funniest thing on TV. If you don’t have the radio show, this is a fantastic optional choice and if you have the radio show, this is a great addition.
Grade: A +

RENT FILMED LIVE ON BROADWAY FINAL NIGHT (DVD)
Maybe just for RENTHEADS, but for those of you who found the Christopher Columbus overblown RENT musical film much too much, this is a very proper way to view what RENT actually was. Unfortunately, the cast, while game, isn’t up to the originals singers who brought this to life. But they’re ok. If you want to see the superb, mostly original cast, you have to rent the overblown movie. If you want to see a great production of the stage play – presented here in its last night of life, rent this.
Grade: B +

UNDERBELLY (season 1)
Based on real events, this Australian import depicts the infamous Carlton Crew – all leading up to the Melbourne street wars. Sort of a less sentimental Sopranos without the sort of character work that show was known for, this is none the less a plot heavy, action packed mob show that is both addictive and satisfying with those with a sweet tooth for multi-storied mob sagas. The first season was a lot of fun and introduced some great characters to the mob show pantheon. I haven’t unveiled season 2 yet, but understand that it’s a prequel. Highly recommended. Choose the subtitles – they help with those thick accents.
Grade: B


JCVD (DVD)
Jean Claude Van Damme stars in the best movie he’s ever made – a crime/thriller/fantasy in which JCVD plays a version of himself caught up in a bank robbery. The plot thickens and Jean Claude gets into acting territory I never thought him capable of – and just a really great movie. Highly recommended.
B +


FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS (2nd season) HBO
Loved the first season. New season – not so much. Somehow everything that was so great for the first season somehow lost it’s sizzle in season….but always entertaining.
Grade: B -

MORE TO LOVE (abc)
Same ABC dating game deal – this time it’s with basically attractive fat people. But these shows have really all become a bore. There is nothing new here, though I suppose its nice to see some reality show that isn’t littered from head to toe with pretty people. The problem, I suspect, is that some of these overweight women are more phsychologically vulnerable than their perfect bodied counterparts on other shows – and I hope exposure on this show doesn’t hurt them more. Still, this is a very progressive effort on ABC’s part to shine a spotlight on the more “real” people – if you will.
Grade: A for effort.
Grade: C for execution.


TUPAC: RESSURECTION (VH1)
They rerun this a lot. It’s great – if you loved Tupac – you’d probably love this loving recreation of his life with his own words and tons of info and images. Tupac, we hardly knew ya’.
Grade: B

COM CENTRAL ROAST OF JOAN RIVERS (COM)Some sucked – some were ok – I don’t know. Jeff Ross was funny – Robin Quivers – whom I love dearly – was not. I remember Alan King being kind of inspired. I think the whole thing was ok – I don’t remember it much – which is not a great sign. I love Joan Rivers – I love these roasts – somehow this one didn’t live up to it’s usual hilarity. I think I sort of remember Gilbert Godfried being pretty funny. He always is.
Grade: B -

THE GREAT BUCK HOWARD(DVD)
Very fine film based on the life of KRESKIN the Magician (who appappeared on Letterman and Johnny Carson a billion times.) Colin Hanks is a law student who chucks it all to go on the road with Buck Henry and his dwindling audience. While I can’t superficially gush about it because frankly, I can’t remember the specific scenes here all that well, I just really liked the tone, the performances and the life lessons imparted to Hanks.
Grade: C +


THE BEATLES REMASTERS
Jimmy Kimmel recently said “there is nobody in the world that can tell the difference between the remasters and the old cds.” He’s pretty close. I’m an audiophile and I can tell you that in a side by side comparison – there is a hair more clarity in the new recordings, the mixes are just a tad punchier – a dallop louder. Maybe. If you don’t listen to them side by side – you probably can't hear the difference. And these “new” remasters sound a lot like the songs they put on the “NUMBER ONES” CD a few years ago. If you really want to experience the Beatles old songs with a truly unique mix – throw the George Martin mixed LOVE onto your 5.1 system – now that is the Beatles Remastered – but then again, never a bad reason to listen to the Beatles.

DECADES
I realized that my BEST (and some of the worst) OF THE DECADES LIST mostly consisted of films from 08’.

This week, I offer you the BEST and WORST in movies of 07’. Or – at least what I remember about it:


DECADES LIST 2007:
THERE WILL BE BLOOD (amazing opening – great film.)
MICHAEL CLAYTON (Clooney starts taking the right roles)
JUNO (which made a star out of everyone, particularly Diablo Cody)
I could not get through 8 minutes of AUSTRALIA!
I loved ALPHA DOG.
NORBIT was hateful and inept.
MUSIC AND LYRICS was charming.
BREACH was tense and terrific. Best husband of Reese Witherspoon performance ever.
RENO 911: MIAMI was funny in spots.
I could not bring myself to watch WILD HOGS. Nor will I bring myself to watch OLD DOGS. (I defy anyone to explain the OLD DOGS poster to me.)
I kind of liked BLACK SNAKE MOAN.
ZODIAC was way too long and not all that exciting.
I didn’t get into 300.
BLADES OF GLORY WAS A LITTLE FUNNIER than you’d expect.
THE LOOKOUT was pretty good.
GRINDHOUSE was fun, but QT’s segment was light years better than the Rodriguez chapter.
DISTURBIA was a bit better than it should’ve been, but Shia is no Tom Hanks.
I never saw SPIDERMAN 3.
Or I don’t remember it.
28 WEEKS LATER was a great zombie movie.
I don’t get the PIRATES movies – sorry.
KNOCKED UP knocked me out. One of the decade’s best.
HOSTEL PART II was a great sequel.
LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD sucked. It took all the charm of the original and made you hate the character.
HAIRSPRAY had a great opening number – don’t remember too much else.
THE SIMPSONS MOVIE should’ve been better.
HOT ROD was unwatchable.
UNDERDOG was detestable.
SUPERBAD was awesome.
ROB ZOMBIE’S HALLOWEEN was pretty cool.
EASTERN PROMISES was solid. Great bathroom fighting scene.
I still can’t get through THE DARJEELING LIMITED.
GONE BABY GONE was very well done and a startling good directing debut from Ben Affleck.
WALK HARD was hilarious.



REVIEWS FOR NEXT BLOG:

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM Season 6 (HBO)

DEXTER Season 4 (SHOWTIME)

SONS OF ANARCHY season 2 (FX)

JULIA & JULIA

THE HURT LOCKER

UP IN THE AIR

THE LOVELY BONES

DISTRICT 9

The last half hour of UP!

And more!


Thanks for stopping by.