My apologies. My main computer is still down so I'm doing this still from my netbook. Please excuse what are bound to be many typos, misuses of words and general shoddiness. But my belief is that you'd rather have the reviews with errors rather than nothing at all. I should get my computer back this week.
THE STRANGERS (DVD)
I know this was based on a true story about some home invaders and a young couple. I don't know just how fact-based this is, so I'll just review this as a suspense yarn on its own terms. Liv Tyler and (I think) Scott Speedman (I might be dead wrong - it could be an actor I've never heard of) play a young couple who are staying in his dad's beautiful but remote cabin when the door is knocked upon by a young woman seemingly lost and asking if "Tamara" is home. Pretty creepy setup and the film spends a good bit of time making you invest in the two lead characters. The problem is that the director takes far too much time in the cat & mouse between the hunters and the hunted, and everything is pointed at by an eerie, completely over the top score that indicates everything that's about to happen. Other than that, this is a decent rental, Liv Tyler is pretty believable as is the other lead who I can't quite place, but this is no FUNNY GAMES, the German film that was remade a few years ago into a slightly less successful American made version directed by the same guy. Funny Games got it right. This one has its moments with the same material, but ultimately is both a drag and anti-climactic. The most interesting parts of this are thrown away in the last 8 minutes or so. But not bad if you're looking for a decent thrill.
Grade: C
MEATLOAF Original UK Tour 1979 (DVD)
http://www.amazon.com/Bat-Out-Hell-Original-Tour/dp/B002N7W3O4/ref=sr_1_16?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1266221091&sr=8-16
A real treat for Meatloaf fans, this is the real deal. A mostly full concert from the original BAT era. (Well, the set list here includes most of BAT I including Bat Out Of Hell, All Reved Up, 2 out of 3, Paradise by the Dashboard Light; but leaves out Heaven Can Wait and For Crying Out Loud.) Were they included in the original show? I doubt it, since he didn't often do CRYING back in the day and HEAVEN was also a no-show in a lot of those early concerts. That said, this is a heavenly document of a German show taped for Rockaplast that, all things considered, looks and sounds fantastic. The video is crisp and clean and the audio is surprisingly layerer for its time. To see Meat on the vocals and Jim Steinman on the piano - that is really a treat for Meat fans. Mostly the only shows available are STORYTELLERS, MELBOURNE and 3 BATS LIVE; all post 1990 shows. There is a VHS around called BAT PICTURE SHOW which has some live stuff and of course, you can scour the internet and find plenty of stuff, but for a high end DVD edition of the early stuff, this is probably about as good as its going to get.
Grade: A
THE ART OF BEING STRAIGHT (DVD)
This felt like amateur hour. Bad acting and directing doubled up with pretentious music and out of date concepts like "can I tell my friends that I might be gay?" And this film doesn't even bother to wrestle with anything real - it's all superficial and badly done and really...the film is too fucking hokey to really review properly. Avoid at all costs.
Grade: F
I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (DVD)
I know there are a lot of Tucker Max fans out there. I used to be one of them though I quickly grew weary of the guy. For the uninitiated, Tucker Max is a 20something who grew to fame in the mid 90s based on his seemingly never ending sex stories. The stories were always outragous and always went for it in terms of every bodily function you can imagine. You can still read the stories online as I know Tucker still has a website up full of the old classic stories. But frankly, I hated this fucking film. The guys were truly an unlikable bunch of women haters and the filmaker seems to think that Tucker is some kind of genius because he talks a lot. They mistake being verbose with being smart. This movie is the opposite of anything remotely smart. Some of the dialog is okay but frankly, I'm a guy who loves these down and dirty sex comedies...and I hated this. Badly directed and poorly written, this has nothing going for it except for some very badly staged outragous sex scenarios. And frankly, the best ones didn't even make it into the movie. This film needed nimble direction, and all it got was a sledgehammer.
Grade: F
LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS (DVD)
Unwatchable after 10 minutes. I turned it off. That bad.
I thought the Octamom made a great contestant on JIMMY KIMMEL's recent DATING GAME segment that saw Ms. Suleman question 3 lucky men who were trying for a date with the recently svelte Octomom. Jimmy made a fantastic host and made me think there is a spin off potential here.
THE COVE (DVD)
Fantastic documentary about the practice of killing dolphins in Japan. Just how Japan goes about its quest to kill one of natures most intelligent beings is as gross as this movie is inspiring. It's a must see and after seeing this, I actually texted and became web-involved in trying to save the dolphins. Either way, this is a breathtaking documentary. And terribly upsetting.
Grade: A
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