Meatloaf: Be Cool Teddy Bear (AUDIO CD) *Early review!
Readers of this blog know how much I worship Meatloaf. I love the guy. Bat I & II were among the best CDs ever made, and even Bat III had moments of greatness, if not real cohesiveness. I've been to many Meatloaf shows, but the one I went to a few years back in San Diego made me realize something - Meat's getting old. In his 60s now, that voice, at least on stage, can't really do what it used to. Truth be told, his vocals have really fallen apart live.
The studio is a much different story. I don't know what tools they use, but Meatloaf can definitely belt it out old-school style in the studio and easily sounds like the Meat of years ago.
That is what's so frustrating about writing this review. Here we have Meatloaf, ready and super-game to do something truly different, and he does. To some seriously mixed results. I'm not saying one couldn't like this CD, and I'm sure it will find its fans...but something really doesn't work here. The production is better than it’s been in years. His songs have a musicality I've not heard from him in forever. (Bat III was great - but it relied heavily on his age-old formula. A formula I love.)
Produced by Rob Cavallo, who does the Green Day albums among others, here was a case of a truly great producer, great musicians and best of all, Cavallo has always idolized Meatloaf and wanted to make a great album with him.
The CD supposedly is a concept album about a dying soldier dreaming of all the things he'll never have...but I defy anyone to find that thread in the songs or lyrics. Although there is certainly a particular style and a unification of sound here, the concept completely eluded me, as I'm sure it will most.
Okay, so is the CD any good? Yes and no. It SOUNDS good. It has a nice production value and Meat's voice sounds stronger than it has any right to and game enough to handle all kinds of lyrical patterns we've never heard from him. And yet, that's part of the problem.
We just want a great Meatloaf album. Which usually means soaring pianos, melodramatic lyrics about lost love and most of all - a sense of humor about the proceedings.
As I write this, I'm giving it a 3rd listen. It rocks harder than most Mead CDs, and again, not really a good thing. That said, there are some moments here that work. I think this might be the very first time an entire CD goes by without any Steinman tracks. (Maybe there were one or two others, but I honestly can't think of any. Possibly that one right before Bat III.)
Backstory: Meat and Steinman did Bat I together, then fought and parted. But in the 5 or so subsequent Meat CDs, Meatloaf often turned to the Steinman back catalogue for some guaranteed winners on each CD. Great Meatloaf songs without Steinman involved in some way are a rarity, but they do exist. (I'd Lie For You, Piece Of The Action, Hot Patootie (RHPS) and Blind as a Bat are all non-Steinman penned, but heavily Steinman influenced.)
Here it's all guest-stars and behind the scenes names that...I don't know. Kara Dioguardi from American Idol is here, singing and penning one tune. Hugh Laurie, who plays HOUSE is here playing piano on the CD's arguably best cut, the Springsteen-esque If I Can't Have You (it's no Springsteen.) He even duets with Jack Black on one tune that's instantly forgettable and…I mean – what the fuck? He’s now doing flat out parody and not knowing it? It reminds me of Eddie Murphy trying to be a singer with PARTY ALL THE TIME (that actually wasn’t bad.)
And that's the problem with the entire CD, its just way too forgettable. Meatloaf sings well, the music sounds good and well-produced, yet this might be the very first Meatloaf CD ever that I have not found one song to cling to. It sounds very generic with that great voice trapped in songs that never take off. Again, there are moments were you can see how this might've worked, but sadly, it really doesn't. And since he usually takes at least 3/4 years between CDs, this is a massive disappointment. Just way too much electric guitar, just so much noise when all we really want is a piano, Meatloaf and Jim Steinman.
Here is my suggestion for the next Meatloaf CD. If you can't patch things up with Steinman, do a BEST OF BAT: UNPLUGGED with stripped, slowed down versions of hits like Bat out of Hell and Anything For Love.
I love Meatloaf. I had such high hopes. But it's hard to review these songs because they are just so unsubstantial I wouldn't know where to begin.
If you have to listen to a few cuts, I'd go with If I Can't Have You (at least it tries) and the CD closer Elvis In Vegas just might grow on me....I don't know. This is...really disappointing.
Grade: C -
UPDATE: I just saw on AMAZON that with the release of HANG COOL TEDDY BEAR (a line from a Russ Meyer film written by Roger Ebert) will come a 2nd CD of a new Meatloaf concert - so, there is now some justification to buy the "deluxe" version of this...I guess. I'll let you know how that concert CD is once I get it.
ONE MORE THOUGHT: I really do love Meatloaf. It'd be great if he can pull one more CD off with Jim Steinman, but if not, what's good here is that its very clear that Meat can pull off complicated vocals in a studio setting. Now with the right mix of writers and producers (not catch of the day people - I love Jack Black, but his mere presence here doesn't represent anything good) - but, and call me crazy, I think the NEXT Meatloaf CD is going to rock in a good way. And for whatever its worth, some people might love this disc as its a lot more grounded than the previous work, so - please support Meat and buy this CD so he's encouraged to record more. That's it on Meatloaf for a while.
Hachi: A Dog's Tale (DVD)
Direct to DVD (and PPV) this is a very famous story about an Akido dog found at a train station by Richard Gere. Directed by Lasse Halstron, this is not your average straight-to-video. With the exception of a slightly annoying framing device, which kind of works but just feels unnecessary, this might be a classic on the order of Old Yeller. Even thinking about the story, which frankly, I don't want to get into because anything said here will be a spoiler, just know that this is not your average dog movie, it's unusually concerned with the relationship with Gere and the dog, it is true, and there are scenes in the last 40 minutes that you will remember forever.
This is not perfect, as there are some basic questions here that go unanswered. (Like - the dog always goes to the train station and nobody ever seems concerned that something will happen to him....) - but it doesn't matter, because the vast majority of this not only works, it works so well you may never forget certain images.
We should all be so lucky to one day have a dog like Hachi. I love him, and I loved this movie.
That said, there is much subtlety here, so don't expect something grand like the overblown movie version of Marley & Me (this is a much better film.) This is a real movie from a real director in which one of the two actors here happens to be a dog.
Grade: A (A must-see.)
UPDATE: It's been a few days and I can't stop thinking about some of the images and scenes in this movie. I'm giving it a rare upgrade:
Grade: A + (despite some flaws) because what works here works so well. For contrast, see MARLY & ME to see how NOT to do a dog movie. (I recently watched it again with my friend Gail and like it even more. It's a really small subtle movie so I don't want to overhype, but this is the real deal.)
I was watching Eddie Murphy on Letterman the other night and remembering how great he used to be and how cool he always seemed. It was a very funny interview and Murphy was as open as he could be, avoiding the obvious. It almost made me think he can put together another stand up special if he wasn't so hung up about his past.
Speaking of late night, well, Leno is back and unfunny as ever. Truly. Only now it’s with confidence!
Conan, as I'm sure you've heard, is going to TBS. But in order to do that, he had to push George Lopez of LOPEZ TONIGHT! back an hour. Lopez was only to happen to have a reconizable lead in.
In fact, truth be told, by reading this blog, you know what a TV freak I am, yet I honestly had NO IDEA Lopez even had a late night show.
Look, for my money, it's Kimmel and Letterman. With Letterman as the elder statesman who runs the job like a pro, and Jimmy taking the talk show into the next century. The two shows are different enough that it's great to have both of them around. I think Jimmy's monologue is the best in television and his bits are always top-notch and best of all, he really has a way with his guests. Unlike Conan or Jay, he's a real listener and a gifted ad-libber. He and Letterman have it going on.
I don't particularly like Craig Ferguson, but at least I get it. He's a funny man. He has some good instincts. He was very funny on Drew Carrey, but c'mon - I'd rather take a bullet in the head than watch the full hour. He can only try so hard.
Then there's Conan, who frankly, I never got, and I suspect his TBS show will get some attention and then die a very painfully slow death.
And then where does that leave George Lopez?
LOPEZ TONIGHT! (TBS)
As far as George Lopez goes, the only think I ever really knew about him is that he was on a truly middle-of-the-road sitcom, that Sandra Bullock would occasionally come on and literally do pratfall all over the set. (At the time, Sandra was determined, to ugly comic non-effect) that she was the next Lucille Ball and that her "whacky" falls were knee-slapping comedy incarnate. She was also quite proud of herself for finding Lopez in a sea of comedians and putting her name behind him. (They could remake the whole thing as The Other Blind Side.) But the truth is that show wasn’t bad, Lopez was a sympathetic character and the supporting cast was quite good, if not particularly memorable.
At some point after 4 or 5 unremarkable seasons and really not remembering even one episode even though I somehow had watched quite a few, Lopez disappears from the market, and then shows up occasionally as a super-funny guest on Jimmy Kimmel's show. (I'm not going to say the man is unfunny nor not talented. His shtick seems to work for the first few minutes and he’s a better guest than host.)
Ok, now to the late night show – Lopez Tonight!
Right off the bat, his audience appears to be the size of Staples Center. I'm not kidding. There are like, THOUSANDS of audience members. It's weird. They sometimes cut to the back row and it seems like a Dodger game. Then George Lopez appears to be un-miked - so it sounds like he's SCREAMING to be heard by everyone. Maybe that's his thing, but he's constantly SCREAMING his jokes. Oh, and those jokes. Those terrible, wretched fucking jokes, delivered by a panting, desperate screaming man who stumbles over 90 percent of the punchlines. What an opening. He and his jokes both seem exhausted.
Then he might have some insanely bad bit, he'll bring on his guests...he had Benjamin Bratt one night, you would've thought he was bringing on Brad Pitt the way he carried on. And he's so nervous around his guests the banter is as forced as a hostage negotiation. I feel bad for the guests who have to fake laugh their way through the whole thing. And Lopez says some very...strange stuff. He said to Bratt many times during that interview "Look at you, all tall and skinny - I'm so jealous!" He did this like 8 times. Was he fishing?
I will tell Lopez what The Godfather once said "Be a man! Be a man!"
Oh, and here is the breakdown of almost every single Lopez joke:
Here is how WHITE people do it.
Here is how LATINOS do it.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
He had on Jennifer Lopez the other night, you would've thought he was bringing on the Queen of England. Lopez himself seemed shocked he had on a big guest, and again, he was weird about how – he told this very complicated and bungled story of he and J.Lo and friends at some charity function and mentioned how they all got bad looking at the end of the night but J. Lo always looks great. Why is this man always fishing for compliments? You’re a comedian. Relax. It’s okay that you look like a fucking monster.
Anyway - what else can I say. This is either the worst show in the history of late night (and I'm including the Magic Hour and the Chevy Chase show) or the best, I guess depending on what you're on at the time you're watching it.
Stone cold sober, this show gets a:
Grade: F -
16 & Pregnant (MTV)
Great show. Huge bummer. The girls are great, in that they were so crazy to get pregnant at such a young age, but in most cases, from what I've watched, the pregnancy really forces them to get their shit together. It's the guys here that are unbelievably awful. The whole thing is a little too depressing for me. But in its way, it's an important show for the MTV audience. It's real, gritty and not soft soaped. Class from the people that brought us JERSEY SHORE? I guess so.
Grade: B
SNL: Ryan Phillipe
Dead on arrival. One of their very worst. Ryan was game - the cast was lame.
Grade: D -
SNL: Gabourey Sidibe
After a lively opening, this went from worse to worse. Sidibe was lively, but apparently thinks that loud and obnoxious equals funny. The sketches were ghastly.
Grade: D -
SNL: The 2000s: Ups and Downs.
Not quite as good as the previous decade wrap ups somehow, which all seemed more documentary like. This felt more like a greatest hits episode of the last year, but that said, there was some great stuff here. Particularly the Lonely Island talking about their evolution on the show through Andy Samberg and how the digital shorts going viral made such a huge impact in how SNL has been interpreted in the age of YouTube.
Grade: B
SoberHouse (Vh1)
You're still the one I love, still the one I care for...
Grade: A
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