Happy New Year's Eve!
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NEW REVIEWS:
UP IN THE AIR (IN THEATERS)
George Clooney is finally taking the right kind of roles after a very shaky film start. Jason Reitman is an immensely talented filmmaker. He made THANK YOU FOR SMOKING, a fine if not great satire, JUNO, an out and out winner that blended Diablo Cody's ultra hip script with great performances and casting, and now comes this new one. For the first 30 minutes I thought I was in for a real treat. Then the story started. It wasn't about the fact that George Clooney was a guy hired to go around to different companies and fire people while traveling - I kind of loved that. And I loved the opening narration where Clooney explains his job. But then the movie starts, and the job is over and he's stuck with some young actress who's all over the place and by the time this thing is at midway point, I just wanted it to be over. I would've preferred a movie that was about what Clonney did for a living and its affect on him - instead it became about Clooney's need for love. Blech. This coulda been a contender. I know it's getting accolades everywhere, but I just don't get it. Great opening, though. And well directed, it's the story that let me down.
Grade: C +
THIS IS IT (DVD)
Whatever you thought of Michael Jackson, this is a fascinating documentary about his last weeks getting ready for what was to be his final curtain call of concerts in London. I'm sure he would've performed more but it was a great commercial hook to call these the last live shows, and he certainly was prepping them to be a fitting send off. After all the drug use, allegations and rumors and horrifying documentaries, it was sort of cathartic to finally see him just do what he's best at - creating pop music, singing, dancing, working with the crew (those were actually my favorite parts of the movie) when Jackson had fits over the direction here and there - though he always ends every small tirade by saying "that is said with L-O-V-E."" (I realize - what he really might have been best at is keeping the cops at bay - but that's another blog.)
No matter what you thought of Jackson, there is no disputing what a uniquely talented artist he was, and this film not only helps you remember that but is a great glimpse into his creative soul and the performer we lost. A much better film than I was expecting somehow. The funny thing is - I hate those kind of huge spectacle shows. I realize a lot of people get off on the spectacle, but for me, it was more interesting to see him put it all together than to actually experience the show. For my money, I would've paid good money to see Jackson come out with a guitarist and just acoustically run through his biggest hits. And here, in rehearsal, you not only get quite a bit of that, but you realize just what a great singer this man really was.
Grade: B +
BAD LT: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS (IN THEATERS)
I really liked, if not loved, the 2003 Harvey Keitel version. Reportedly, when Ed Pressman sold the remake rights to Warner Herzog, Abel Ferrar, the director behind the original BAD LT., as well as THE KING OF NY and many other low life classics, said "I hope he burns in hell." Well, Herzog did not burn in hell, instead with Nicholas Cage, he has crafted a new movie related only to that earlier version in very broad plot threads, that is really the sparkplug of the winter movie season.
These films that dwell on subjects like these, murder, drugs, madness...they're not exactly big money makers. So when they do slip through the cracks and actually get made - it's usually a labor of love.
Cage plays a cop who, in the midst of Katrina, nearly breaks his back trying to free a trapped prisoner from drowning. This has left him with a chronic back pain that Vicoden can't really quell - and his quest to score drugs is one of the nasty fun parts of the movie. Also terrific is Eva Mendes as his hooker girlfriend and Val Kilmer is surprisingly subdued in his role as Cage's ex partner. He actually doesn't even look like himself anymore - it's kind of weird.
The first movie was much more spiritual and about deeper issues of the spirit and religion, this is a bit more straight forward and frankly - while I admire the hell out of the original, this is a lot more fun and Cage works hard to keep us liking this utterly corrupted and very complicated guy.
And to see Nic Cage, mr. movie star as of late, crack smoking his way through his role as a crazy corrupt cop in the Big Easy with supporting performance crackling all around him - this is very hard to resist. No spoilers here because I just suggest you see it, but this was one of the more exciting signs of life this movie season.
Grade: A
THE HISTORY OF HOWARD STERN (ACT 3) (Sirius Radio)
Every Holiday season Howard releases a 14 part (or so) radio documentary on his rise to the top. This new one covers the time from the mid to about 2002 (something like that.) For me, what's so great about these are that in my own radio worship of Stern, these were the things I remembered most, when he first got out LA radio and these bits are music to my ears, bringing up a lot of great memories of hilarity. These are also exceedingly well produced and edited and really gave the subscribers a lot of bang for the buck in Howard and Co's absence. There is talk of this being Stern's last year. I don't believe it. I think he's good for another 5, but either way - this is the beginning of the end of the greatest era of radio ever. Go the store, buy the radio, have it installed. It's 15 bucks a month for the funniest radio you'll ever hear. It actually makes your day better and there will be days you won't leave your car because what's going on over the air is too compelling to leave.
Grade: A +
TOUGH LOVE II (VH1)
Just started going through these on my DVR. Love it.
SEX ADDICT REHAB w/Dr. Drew (VH1)
Another winner, though the "celebs" were barely recognizable. Is there ANY addiction left for Amber Smith to have?
DECADES CONTINUED:
Okay, tomorrow is a new year and clearly I have not seen all the new movies yet, but I will continue to review them. In the meantime, here are my final picks - based solely on what I've seen - as the 10 best movies of 2009.
These are all in the A to A+ category.
10 BEST OF 2009:
TWO FILMS TIE FOR FIRST PLACE:
INGLORIUS BASTERDS
WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE
Both spectacular out of the box creations.
2.) THE BAD LT. PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS
3.) PRECIOUS
4.)TYSON
5.) GOMORRAH
6.) I LOVE YOU, MAN
7.) FUNNY PEOPLE (Despite the wonkiest 3rd act ever, the first 90 minutes were so great I forgive the last act. But not to include this film doesn't work for me.)
8.) THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE
9.) DISTRICT 9
10) TWO LOVERS
BEST & WORST OF DECADES
Moving on, while I certainly can't pick the top 10 for 10 years - I have been going through the decades. Here are some more best and most memorable stinkers from the last few years. I will stop when I get to 2000.
BEST & WORST OF 2006 (in no particular order)
HOSTEL: B +
BIG MOMMAS HOUSE 2: F
WHEN A STRANGER CALLS (remake): F
THANK YOU FOR SMOKING: B
INSIDE MAN: B
BASIC INSTINCT 2: RISK ADDIDCTION : A for unintentional hilarity, F for everything else
UNITED 93: A
ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL: C
THE BREAK UP: D
THE LAKE HOUSE: C +
NACHO LIBRE: D
SUPERMAN RETURNS: D
YOU, ME & DUPREE: C -
CLERKS II: C
TALLEDEGA NIGHTS: A
MIAMI VICE (unwatchable)
CRANK: B +
THE DEPARTED: B + (sorry - great storytelling but not the classic it wants to be)
THE PRESTIGE: B
BABEL: B -
SAW III: F
BORAT: A
FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: C - (A rare misstep in the Chris Guest mock dock area)
HAPPY FEET: B -
TENACIOUS D: PICK OF DESTINY: C - (sorry - not nearly as sharp as the series of shorts)
APOCOLYPTO: B (take that, sugar tits)
BLOOD DIAMOND: B +
DREAMGIRLS: A
ROCKY BALBOA: A +
WE ARE MARSHAL: C
NOTES ON A SCANDAL: B
FIND ME GUILTY: B
LAST KING OF SCOTLAND: B +
THE NOTORIOUS BETTIE PAGE: C
STRANGERS WITH CANDY: C -
WHO KILLED THE ELECTRIC CAR: B +
Will be back for more reviews in the new year.
Drive safe, drink responsibly, easy on the weed and don't OD on X.
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2009/12/31
2009/12/30
DIGITAL COUCH NOW ON TWITTER
Not for nothing...
SONS OF ANARCHY had a killer 2nd season.
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM had a a great 6th season. Obviuosly, anyone who reads this blog knows what a major SEINFEILD fan I am. I loved the reunion and seeing those actors together again. The funny thing was - I am one of those who thought the original finale of Seinfeld was the very worst episdoe of Seinfeld ever. Ever.
Did this make up for it? Not really. We stil have no real finality for these people, thought it was fun to see scenes written for them and performed in character. And it was a major kick - the way the finale was just put together not for creative reasons but for Larry to get Cheryl back. On the same note - those scenes could've worked as a real finale and its a shame that they were just written as just another episode - although - in some ways maybe that was the better idea. To not try to wrap it all up but just do one killer episode. I had heard that Elaine was a mother now of adopted childred but that a lot of those scenes got cut for time.
It was still a kick, yet the entire season was stolen by Super Dave's telling of the profane joke about the just-married couple. And what about a REAL Seinfeld finale? (I know - never happen.)
I am putting together a future blog that solely discusses series endings. Please let me know if you want your favorite series touched on in the comments section.
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM had a a great 6th season. Obviuosly, anyone who reads this blog knows what a major SEINFEILD fan I am. I loved the reunion and seeing those actors together again. The funny thing was - I am one of those who thought the original finale of Seinfeld was the very worst episdoe of Seinfeld ever. Ever.
Did this make up for it? Not really. We stil have no real finality for these people, thought it was fun to see scenes written for them and performed in character. And it was a major kick - the way the finale was just put together not for creative reasons but for Larry to get Cheryl back. On the same note - those scenes could've worked as a real finale and its a shame that they were just written as just another episode - although - in some ways maybe that was the better idea. To not try to wrap it all up but just do one killer episode. I had heard that Elaine was a mother now of adopted childred but that a lot of those scenes got cut for time.
It was still a kick, yet the entire season was stolen by Super Dave's telling of the profane joke about the just-married couple. And what about a REAL Seinfeld finale? (I know - never happen.)
I am putting together a future blog that solely discusses series endings. Please let me know if you want your favorite series touched on in the comments section.
2009/12/29
THE JERSEY SHORE and DEXTER
JERSEY SHORE (MTV)
Awesome. Check it out if only to find out about "The Situation." This show makes me laugh out loud, hss some of the best, most original characters in reality and for me - a former resident of Brooklyn, NY - these authentic accents are music to my ears. The show is exceedingly well produced and has a great sense of humor. I actually grew up with people like this, and this show gets it right and the hair-gelled cast is very likable and the vibe here is fun. And addicting. And you really gotta see "the situation." Or "Snickers." Or "Snookie." Just trust me - check this out.
Grade: B +
DEXTER: 4th season (SHOWTIME)
No spoilers here, but bravo to the entire team who rose from the ashes of a middling season 3 (Jimmy Smits was not a good centerpiece for this show) and had an absolutely chilling madman in John Lithgow and completely go-for-the-throat ending. Well done.
Grade: A
Awesome. Check it out if only to find out about "The Situation." This show makes me laugh out loud, hss some of the best, most original characters in reality and for me - a former resident of Brooklyn, NY - these authentic accents are music to my ears. The show is exceedingly well produced and has a great sense of humor. I actually grew up with people like this, and this show gets it right and the hair-gelled cast is very likable and the vibe here is fun. And addicting. And you really gotta see "the situation." Or "Snickers." Or "Snookie." Just trust me - check this out.
Grade: B +
DEXTER: 4th season (SHOWTIME)
No spoilers here, but bravo to the entire team who rose from the ashes of a middling season 3 (Jimmy Smits was not a good centerpiece for this show) and had an absolutely chilling madman in John Lithgow and completely go-for-the-throat ending. Well done.
Grade: A
2009/12/21
DECADES EDITION part II
THE BEST OF THE YEAR – PART II…
YOU CAN NOW FOLLOW THE DIGITAL COUCH ON TWITTER!
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Now when I see something great/bad/mediocre – you can hear about it as soon as I figure out how to "tweet" from my cell phone.
What a douche I’ve become.
I will have more reviews coming - I had a recent tragedy in my extended family which has kept me away from the TV and the theaters. That said – not only was I able to see a couple of things during the week, but I came across a Word file on my computer from a few months ago, so in addition to some new reviews, here are some vintage COUCH reviews that have not seen the light of day just yet.
By the way, when I say “Sandra Bullock bravely plays a white woman who takes an interest in a young black man…” that is what’s called FUCKING SARCASM.
A lot of people didn’t understand how I could find THE HANGOVER funny, yet overrated. I will explain since I got quite a few emails and much ball busting over that review – yes, THE HANGOVER definitely has its moments along with an ingenious premise. That said – the movie doesn’t make you laugh the way…say SOMETHING ABOUT MARY did, or even SUPERBAD. It’s a clever comedy that somehow got billed as the funniest movie ever – and it’s not. But its funny enough to recommend.
Also - I do these fast and don't do a whole lot of going over them as I think my first impressions are kind of what's real about this blog. That means I have shit spelling and I get actors names wrong or mispell them. To be honest - I could care less how Mariah (100 people told me 1 R her name) spells her name. I do care that her performance in PRECIOUS was awesome - but give me a break. Blogs were made for mispelling.
But there is a review that bothers me – there were two films last week that I reviewed before finishing.
UP
I reviewed and basically dismissed before finishing that last half hour.
I still have yet to look at the last half hour.
But I will.
THE BLIND SIDE
…got a great review from me – unfortunately – the second half of this film goes total wish-fullfillment cheeseball bullshit bordering on fantasy. I know it’s a true story, and the performances are uniformly good, and the first half is particularly good, but Sandra Bullock’s character becomes not only a saint half way through, but a walking 5 camera sitcom with no laugh track. The scene where she just can’t wait on line to fill out a form, then cuts to the front of the line and the guy she cuts says "go ahead - I have to hear this." That was fucking retarded. Sandra Bullock threatening a group of dangerous gang members by telling them about her gun she keeps at home – even more fucking retarded.
Still a good film – but far from the great one I had thought it might be.
THE BLIND SIDE:
NEW GRADE:
C –
FUNNY PEOPLE (DVD)
I rebelled against seeing this film for a long time. Judd Apatow is one of my favorite writer/producer/directors. He made 41 YR. OLD VIRGIN and KNOCKED UP, two fantastic comedies, and was involved in many more of my favorites, like FORGETTING SARAH MARSHAL, SUPERBAD, TALLADEGA NIGHTS and WALK HARD.
Not to mention FREAKS AND GEEKS. One of the best series EVER. (If you don’t believe me, go out and rent the single season 18 episode cycle – truly one of the finest hours ever on the air and perhaps the most realistic depiction of high school since James at 15.)
But calling your movie FUNNY PEOPLE and having it BE about FUNNY PEOPLE…that struck me as a bit…pretentious. But I talked to a friend of mine whom I respect and who’d seen it and he really liked it. Based on his short review, I finally unspooled the copy of it that had been sitting on my coffee table.
I liked the first half of FUNNY PEOPLE so much, that I was giddy. I thought it just might be the greatest film of the year, and one of the best of all time. That is how much I liked where this movie was going. It had the same vibe as ALMOST FAMOUS, but somehow, I related to this even more. The scene where Sandler as a famous comedy standup/actor named George Simmons (never better – truly – the performance of his lifetime) brings Seth Rogan as Ira Wright (also a career best playing against type as a geeky stand up writer) to the MY SPACE gig on his private jet over James Taylor’s “Going to Carolina” is one of 2009’s great movie moments. Later, when Sandler, whose prickish comic is responsible for a dozen clearly horrible hit movies (hilariously depicted here as variation of Sandler’s real life moronic fables – such as MERMAN) ends up bringing home two women well…it just felt very real and very informed. Judd Apatow lived with Sandler during and after college and wrote jokes for him and many other comics, and the film delivers on the kicky sequences of watching them craft jokes and then performing it onstage.
Okay, it’s a bit of an insiders film – but most films are about something. For some reason the people who read your stuff always say “never do a film about the biz” and yet – at the end of the year some of the very best films are always “about the biz.” The two movies the first half of this brought to mind were LENNY, which – if you haven’t seen, you should as Dustin Hoffman brilliantly plays Lenny Bruce and depicts how Lenny got really fucked up by the controversial nature of his act (back then he was dangerous – now his routines seem rather quaint.) The other movie I was thinking of was PUNCHLINE, which was utter garbage. Tom Hanks as a brilliant, (brilliant only because everyone said that – not one funny set was delivered in that film) tortured comedian and Sally Field – oy vey, let’s forget about that horrible fucking movie. (I will ruin it even further – at the end Tom Hanks “bravely” – yes Sal, that is a fucking sarcastic line, - Hanks BRAVELY throws his performance and lets Sally Field win the comedy competition. That was the big ending. They should all be very proud of that piece of shit film.)
Anyway, back to this good one, Jonah Hill and Jason Shwartzman are pitch perfect as Ira’s insecure roommates. The clips from Jason’s NBC TV show “Yo, Teach” are priceless. And frighteningly real. Rounding out the cast – the girl who looks like UGLY BETTY who Ira wants to go out with but Schwartzman, in one of the best lines of the film, gets to first, is really good, if not terribly funny. But she sort of looks and gets the part. I just didn't really buy her as a comic in the Janine Garafalo mode.
Best of all, mostly, the jokes and the routines in this are pretty funny. Most movies about stand ups have them go out there and suck. Not true on SEINFELD and not true here. I actually laughed from the sets (which Apatow had the comic actors write on their own and then filmed them at places like The Improv.)
As Sandler gets worse from his blood disease, he and Ira get closer and this is also one of the most compelling things about this film, which does carry a touch of the Cameron Crowe vibe in the best way.
Not to reveal spoilers here, but allow me to say that the 2nd half of this very long film (I saw a version that was well over 2 hours) takes such a bizarre left turn that the movie – unfortunately – never really recovers. Ira and George go on the road to do some comedy and run into George’s ex – the one that got away (played admirably by Judd’s real life wife, Leslie Mann, an actress who’s done fine supporting work in some of his other films – but here is given too much, and a thankless role at that.) Eric Bana is also in this and while he’s very good, by the time the four of them are duking it out on the lawn – something has gone terribly awry in both the direction and writing and arc of this film.
I get it – Sandler doesn’t learn from his mistakes. But they get into that idea in such a clunky way that – it doesn’t work. And then the messes start piling up. The completely gratuitous scene in which Sandler throws a party and many current comics, actors and rap stars show up and then exchange in some really warmed over ENTOURAGE shit that wasn’t funny the first time around. Case in point: witness the complete bullshit of the Ray Romano/Eminem exchange. Suddenly this perceptive precise film is now presenting a party in which every comic is somehow ON or CLUELESS.
It kind of starts to suck and resemble a bad sitcom in its third leg. Massively disappointing and a true let down that it doesn’t just go down the path it started out on.
That said, the last 10 minutes tidy things up a bit and while I ultimately liked this movie a lot, and hey – sometimes interesting failures are way better than mediocre successes – but what makes this one sad to me is that this came SO CLOSE to being that great movie.
I still highly recommend it, but you’ll see what I’m talking about.
Grade: (with a heavy sigh): B + (based on the first half – but it could’ve been so much more.)
500 DAYS OF SUMMER (DVD)
A very fine, creative screenplay brings to life the story of two people who were probably never meant to be together. Joseph Gordon Levitt plays a greeting cards writer who hooks up with assistant SUMMER, played by Zooey Deschanel (great name) as the two get into a relationship that is at turns sweet and sour. The gimmick here is a good one – the film charts the relationship in 500 days but does so by picking certain days then moving to others – giving it a constant ebb and flow that might not have been so easy to take in a linear narrative.
Here’s the thing – I love Zooey as an actress. I fucking hated her character. She wanted her cake and to eat it, too. Meanwhile, Joey Gordon is reduced to playing the guy who has to go along with all of her madcap whims. And yet – he’d probably be happy doing that – but she won’t give him the one thing he wants – to admit she loves him and that they’re an actual couple, so some of the days are wonderous, some torturous, and some of the dialoge is so movie-centric cutesy that the entire audience is almost invited to cut their writs in unison.
The thing is, the whole setup is designed for you to not like her. The entire romance is played out from the male POV only, and while there are times when Levitt's character is a little insensitive, this is a guy's fuck you letter to some woman who he feels wronged by - it would be curious to see what her POV was but that's not the way this film goes down.
But it’s a good tortured romantic film, the two leads play their roles well and the movie – it’s just kind of frustrating and a bit overdone for my tastes. (Very rarely does a movie get the characters to do “testimonials” about life and have it work. Here – it does not.)
Also – look, I’m a guy, I’ve been in these relationship with the Ice Queen who doesn’t let you in – and those relationships always become all about her. And while this is something that happens often in life – watching it happen is like watching your worst most tortured relationships play out on screen – not that fun. My anxiety started to rise as soon as Zooey lets her mean freak flag fly all over Joey Gordon’s nice guy character who just wants a girlfriend – not a psychological pummeling.
And Zooey/Summer tries WAY too hard to be cute, quirky and funny. Way too hard. As does the film. But kudos to the innovative screenplay and the moments that work - they work really well.
Grade: C +
I THINK I MISSED mentioning TWO OF THE YEAR’S BEST MOVIES.
TYSON (great Tyson documentary that demands to be seen.)
TWO LOVERS
Here are some older reviews I’d never posted:
MY ANTIONIO (VH1)
Antonio seems like a nice, slightly brain damaged fella. The girls here are all hot, and all developmentally slow as well. Antionio’s mother…is one for the books. This show should be fun but somehow it’s….pretty much a bore. Antonio is a bit too serious and self important and like I said, slightly retarded - and the casting doesn’t really make for the kind of lunacy we expect from these types of shows. The presence of Antiono’s ex here is just kind of pathetic and on the mean side. I check out after episode #3.
Grade: D
DADDY’S GIRLS (MTV)
A spin off of RUNS HOUSE – which I’ve never seen. I accidently caught this and found it to be an overly scripted reality show that has no resemblance whatsoever to anything remotely real, or the least bit entertaining.
Grade: D –
BIG BROTHER (CBS)
Another casting nightmare, this usually great peep into the lives of strangers got bogged down in some of the cheesiest cast members since season 1. Another early check out.
TYSON (in theaters)
A must see. Mike Tyson is open, honest and candid – and often quite chilling. His remembrences of a misspent youth and friends who are gone is wrenching, and you havne’t quite lived till you’ve heard Tyson call the woman who sent him to prison (for rap) “that wretched, wretched woman.”
Grade: A
HOWARD TV – your love of this network, a pay cable channel available only on ON DEMAND is dependant upon your love of Stern. I’ve been a listener for over 25 years and show no signs of slowing down. Plus, this channel gets you all the stuff you missed, all the stuff you didn’t see on the original segment, original outrageous programming, and is frequently the funniest thing on TV. If you don’t have the radio show, this is a fantastic optional choice and if you have the radio show, this is a great addition.
Grade: A +
RENT FILMED LIVE ON BROADWAY FINAL NIGHT (DVD)
Maybe just for RENTHEADS, but for those of you who found the Christopher Columbus overblown RENT musical film much too much, this is a very proper way to view what RENT actually was. Unfortunately, the cast, while game, isn’t up to the originals singers who brought this to life. But they’re ok. If you want to see the superb, mostly original cast, you have to rent the overblown movie. If you want to see a great production of the stage play – presented here in its last night of life, rent this.
Grade: B +
UNDERBELLY (season 1)
Based on real events, this Australian import depicts the infamous Carlton Crew – all leading up to the Melbourne street wars. Sort of a less sentimental Sopranos without the sort of character work that show was known for, this is none the less a plot heavy, action packed mob show that is both addictive and satisfying with those with a sweet tooth for multi-storied mob sagas. The first season was a lot of fun and introduced some great characters to the mob show pantheon. I haven’t unveiled season 2 yet, but understand that it’s a prequel. Highly recommended. Choose the subtitles – they help with those thick accents.
Grade: B
JCVD (DVD)
Jean Claude Van Damme stars in the best movie he’s ever made – a crime/thriller/fantasy in which JCVD plays a version of himself caught up in a bank robbery. The plot thickens and Jean Claude gets into acting territory I never thought him capable of – and just a really great movie. Highly recommended.
B +
FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS (2nd season) HBO
Loved the first season. New season – not so much. Somehow everything that was so great for the first season somehow lost it’s sizzle in season….but always entertaining.
Grade: B -
MORE TO LOVE (abc)
Same ABC dating game deal – this time it’s with basically attractive fat people. But these shows have really all become a bore. There is nothing new here, though I suppose its nice to see some reality show that isn’t littered from head to toe with pretty people. The problem, I suspect, is that some of these overweight women are more phsychologically vulnerable than their perfect bodied counterparts on other shows – and I hope exposure on this show doesn’t hurt them more. Still, this is a very progressive effort on ABC’s part to shine a spotlight on the more “real” people – if you will.
Grade: A for effort.
Grade: C for execution.
TUPAC: RESSURECTION (VH1)
They rerun this a lot. It’s great – if you loved Tupac – you’d probably love this loving recreation of his life with his own words and tons of info and images. Tupac, we hardly knew ya’.
Grade: B
COM CENTRAL ROAST OF JOAN RIVERS (COM)Some sucked – some were ok – I don’t know. Jeff Ross was funny – Robin Quivers – whom I love dearly – was not. I remember Alan King being kind of inspired. I think the whole thing was ok – I don’t remember it much – which is not a great sign. I love Joan Rivers – I love these roasts – somehow this one didn’t live up to it’s usual hilarity. I think I sort of remember Gilbert Godfried being pretty funny. He always is.
Grade: B -
THE GREAT BUCK HOWARD(DVD)
Very fine film based on the life of KRESKIN the Magician (who appappeared on Letterman and Johnny Carson a billion times.) Colin Hanks is a law student who chucks it all to go on the road with Buck Henry and his dwindling audience. While I can’t superficially gush about it because frankly, I can’t remember the specific scenes here all that well, I just really liked the tone, the performances and the life lessons imparted to Hanks.
Grade: C +
THE BEATLES REMASTERS
Jimmy Kimmel recently said “there is nobody in the world that can tell the difference between the remasters and the old cds.” He’s pretty close. I’m an audiophile and I can tell you that in a side by side comparison – there is a hair more clarity in the new recordings, the mixes are just a tad punchier – a dallop louder. Maybe. If you don’t listen to them side by side – you probably can't hear the difference. And these “new” remasters sound a lot like the songs they put on the “NUMBER ONES” CD a few years ago. If you really want to experience the Beatles old songs with a truly unique mix – throw the George Martin mixed LOVE onto your 5.1 system – now that is the Beatles Remastered – but then again, never a bad reason to listen to the Beatles.
DECADES
I realized that my BEST (and some of the worst) OF THE DECADES LIST mostly consisted of films from 08’.
This week, I offer you the BEST and WORST in movies of 07’. Or – at least what I remember about it:
DECADES LIST 2007:
THERE WILL BE BLOOD (amazing opening – great film.)
MICHAEL CLAYTON (Clooney starts taking the right roles)
JUNO (which made a star out of everyone, particularly Diablo Cody)
I could not get through 8 minutes of AUSTRALIA!
I loved ALPHA DOG.
NORBIT was hateful and inept.
MUSIC AND LYRICS was charming.
BREACH was tense and terrific. Best husband of Reese Witherspoon performance ever.
RENO 911: MIAMI was funny in spots.
I could not bring myself to watch WILD HOGS. Nor will I bring myself to watch OLD DOGS. (I defy anyone to explain the OLD DOGS poster to me.)
I kind of liked BLACK SNAKE MOAN.
ZODIAC was way too long and not all that exciting.
I didn’t get into 300.
BLADES OF GLORY WAS A LITTLE FUNNIER than you’d expect.
THE LOOKOUT was pretty good.
GRINDHOUSE was fun, but QT’s segment was light years better than the Rodriguez chapter.
DISTURBIA was a bit better than it should’ve been, but Shia is no Tom Hanks.
I never saw SPIDERMAN 3.
Or I don’t remember it.
28 WEEKS LATER was a great zombie movie.
I don’t get the PIRATES movies – sorry.
KNOCKED UP knocked me out. One of the decade’s best.
HOSTEL PART II was a great sequel.
LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD sucked. It took all the charm of the original and made you hate the character.
HAIRSPRAY had a great opening number – don’t remember too much else.
THE SIMPSONS MOVIE should’ve been better.
HOT ROD was unwatchable.
UNDERDOG was detestable.
SUPERBAD was awesome.
ROB ZOMBIE’S HALLOWEEN was pretty cool.
EASTERN PROMISES was solid. Great bathroom fighting scene.
I still can’t get through THE DARJEELING LIMITED.
GONE BABY GONE was very well done and a startling good directing debut from Ben Affleck.
WALK HARD was hilarious.
REVIEWS FOR NEXT BLOG:
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM Season 6 (HBO)
DEXTER Season 4 (SHOWTIME)
SONS OF ANARCHY season 2 (FX)
JULIA & JULIA
THE HURT LOCKER
UP IN THE AIR
THE LOVELY BONES
DISTRICT 9
The last half hour of UP!
And more!
Thanks for stopping by.
YOU CAN NOW FOLLOW THE DIGITAL COUCH ON TWITTER!
twitter.com/TheDigitalCouch
Now when I see something great/bad/mediocre – you can hear about it as soon as I figure out how to "tweet" from my cell phone.
What a douche I’ve become.
I will have more reviews coming - I had a recent tragedy in my extended family which has kept me away from the TV and the theaters. That said – not only was I able to see a couple of things during the week, but I came across a Word file on my computer from a few months ago, so in addition to some new reviews, here are some vintage COUCH reviews that have not seen the light of day just yet.
By the way, when I say “Sandra Bullock bravely plays a white woman who takes an interest in a young black man…” that is what’s called FUCKING SARCASM.
A lot of people didn’t understand how I could find THE HANGOVER funny, yet overrated. I will explain since I got quite a few emails and much ball busting over that review – yes, THE HANGOVER definitely has its moments along with an ingenious premise. That said – the movie doesn’t make you laugh the way…say SOMETHING ABOUT MARY did, or even SUPERBAD. It’s a clever comedy that somehow got billed as the funniest movie ever – and it’s not. But its funny enough to recommend.
Also - I do these fast and don't do a whole lot of going over them as I think my first impressions are kind of what's real about this blog. That means I have shit spelling and I get actors names wrong or mispell them. To be honest - I could care less how Mariah (100 people told me 1 R her name) spells her name. I do care that her performance in PRECIOUS was awesome - but give me a break. Blogs were made for mispelling.
But there is a review that bothers me – there were two films last week that I reviewed before finishing.
UP
I reviewed and basically dismissed before finishing that last half hour.
I still have yet to look at the last half hour.
But I will.
THE BLIND SIDE
…got a great review from me – unfortunately – the second half of this film goes total wish-fullfillment cheeseball bullshit bordering on fantasy. I know it’s a true story, and the performances are uniformly good, and the first half is particularly good, but Sandra Bullock’s character becomes not only a saint half way through, but a walking 5 camera sitcom with no laugh track. The scene where she just can’t wait on line to fill out a form, then cuts to the front of the line and the guy she cuts says "go ahead - I have to hear this." That was fucking retarded. Sandra Bullock threatening a group of dangerous gang members by telling them about her gun she keeps at home – even more fucking retarded.
Still a good film – but far from the great one I had thought it might be.
THE BLIND SIDE:
NEW GRADE:
C –
FUNNY PEOPLE (DVD)
I rebelled against seeing this film for a long time. Judd Apatow is one of my favorite writer/producer/directors. He made 41 YR. OLD VIRGIN and KNOCKED UP, two fantastic comedies, and was involved in many more of my favorites, like FORGETTING SARAH MARSHAL, SUPERBAD, TALLADEGA NIGHTS and WALK HARD.
Not to mention FREAKS AND GEEKS. One of the best series EVER. (If you don’t believe me, go out and rent the single season 18 episode cycle – truly one of the finest hours ever on the air and perhaps the most realistic depiction of high school since James at 15.)
But calling your movie FUNNY PEOPLE and having it BE about FUNNY PEOPLE…that struck me as a bit…pretentious. But I talked to a friend of mine whom I respect and who’d seen it and he really liked it. Based on his short review, I finally unspooled the copy of it that had been sitting on my coffee table.
I liked the first half of FUNNY PEOPLE so much, that I was giddy. I thought it just might be the greatest film of the year, and one of the best of all time. That is how much I liked where this movie was going. It had the same vibe as ALMOST FAMOUS, but somehow, I related to this even more. The scene where Sandler as a famous comedy standup/actor named George Simmons (never better – truly – the performance of his lifetime) brings Seth Rogan as Ira Wright (also a career best playing against type as a geeky stand up writer) to the MY SPACE gig on his private jet over James Taylor’s “Going to Carolina” is one of 2009’s great movie moments. Later, when Sandler, whose prickish comic is responsible for a dozen clearly horrible hit movies (hilariously depicted here as variation of Sandler’s real life moronic fables – such as MERMAN) ends up bringing home two women well…it just felt very real and very informed. Judd Apatow lived with Sandler during and after college and wrote jokes for him and many other comics, and the film delivers on the kicky sequences of watching them craft jokes and then performing it onstage.
Okay, it’s a bit of an insiders film – but most films are about something. For some reason the people who read your stuff always say “never do a film about the biz” and yet – at the end of the year some of the very best films are always “about the biz.” The two movies the first half of this brought to mind were LENNY, which – if you haven’t seen, you should as Dustin Hoffman brilliantly plays Lenny Bruce and depicts how Lenny got really fucked up by the controversial nature of his act (back then he was dangerous – now his routines seem rather quaint.) The other movie I was thinking of was PUNCHLINE, which was utter garbage. Tom Hanks as a brilliant, (brilliant only because everyone said that – not one funny set was delivered in that film) tortured comedian and Sally Field – oy vey, let’s forget about that horrible fucking movie. (I will ruin it even further – at the end Tom Hanks “bravely” – yes Sal, that is a fucking sarcastic line, - Hanks BRAVELY throws his performance and lets Sally Field win the comedy competition. That was the big ending. They should all be very proud of that piece of shit film.)
Anyway, back to this good one, Jonah Hill and Jason Shwartzman are pitch perfect as Ira’s insecure roommates. The clips from Jason’s NBC TV show “Yo, Teach” are priceless. And frighteningly real. Rounding out the cast – the girl who looks like UGLY BETTY who Ira wants to go out with but Schwartzman, in one of the best lines of the film, gets to first, is really good, if not terribly funny. But she sort of looks and gets the part. I just didn't really buy her as a comic in the Janine Garafalo mode.
Best of all, mostly, the jokes and the routines in this are pretty funny. Most movies about stand ups have them go out there and suck. Not true on SEINFELD and not true here. I actually laughed from the sets (which Apatow had the comic actors write on their own and then filmed them at places like The Improv.)
As Sandler gets worse from his blood disease, he and Ira get closer and this is also one of the most compelling things about this film, which does carry a touch of the Cameron Crowe vibe in the best way.
Not to reveal spoilers here, but allow me to say that the 2nd half of this very long film (I saw a version that was well over 2 hours) takes such a bizarre left turn that the movie – unfortunately – never really recovers. Ira and George go on the road to do some comedy and run into George’s ex – the one that got away (played admirably by Judd’s real life wife, Leslie Mann, an actress who’s done fine supporting work in some of his other films – but here is given too much, and a thankless role at that.) Eric Bana is also in this and while he’s very good, by the time the four of them are duking it out on the lawn – something has gone terribly awry in both the direction and writing and arc of this film.
I get it – Sandler doesn’t learn from his mistakes. But they get into that idea in such a clunky way that – it doesn’t work. And then the messes start piling up. The completely gratuitous scene in which Sandler throws a party and many current comics, actors and rap stars show up and then exchange in some really warmed over ENTOURAGE shit that wasn’t funny the first time around. Case in point: witness the complete bullshit of the Ray Romano/Eminem exchange. Suddenly this perceptive precise film is now presenting a party in which every comic is somehow ON or CLUELESS.
It kind of starts to suck and resemble a bad sitcom in its third leg. Massively disappointing and a true let down that it doesn’t just go down the path it started out on.
That said, the last 10 minutes tidy things up a bit and while I ultimately liked this movie a lot, and hey – sometimes interesting failures are way better than mediocre successes – but what makes this one sad to me is that this came SO CLOSE to being that great movie.
I still highly recommend it, but you’ll see what I’m talking about.
Grade: (with a heavy sigh): B + (based on the first half – but it could’ve been so much more.)
500 DAYS OF SUMMER (DVD)
A very fine, creative screenplay brings to life the story of two people who were probably never meant to be together. Joseph Gordon Levitt plays a greeting cards writer who hooks up with assistant SUMMER, played by Zooey Deschanel (great name) as the two get into a relationship that is at turns sweet and sour. The gimmick here is a good one – the film charts the relationship in 500 days but does so by picking certain days then moving to others – giving it a constant ebb and flow that might not have been so easy to take in a linear narrative.
Here’s the thing – I love Zooey as an actress. I fucking hated her character. She wanted her cake and to eat it, too. Meanwhile, Joey Gordon is reduced to playing the guy who has to go along with all of her madcap whims. And yet – he’d probably be happy doing that – but she won’t give him the one thing he wants – to admit she loves him and that they’re an actual couple, so some of the days are wonderous, some torturous, and some of the dialoge is so movie-centric cutesy that the entire audience is almost invited to cut their writs in unison.
The thing is, the whole setup is designed for you to not like her. The entire romance is played out from the male POV only, and while there are times when Levitt's character is a little insensitive, this is a guy's fuck you letter to some woman who he feels wronged by - it would be curious to see what her POV was but that's not the way this film goes down.
But it’s a good tortured romantic film, the two leads play their roles well and the movie – it’s just kind of frustrating and a bit overdone for my tastes. (Very rarely does a movie get the characters to do “testimonials” about life and have it work. Here – it does not.)
Also – look, I’m a guy, I’ve been in these relationship with the Ice Queen who doesn’t let you in – and those relationships always become all about her. And while this is something that happens often in life – watching it happen is like watching your worst most tortured relationships play out on screen – not that fun. My anxiety started to rise as soon as Zooey lets her mean freak flag fly all over Joey Gordon’s nice guy character who just wants a girlfriend – not a psychological pummeling.
And Zooey/Summer tries WAY too hard to be cute, quirky and funny. Way too hard. As does the film. But kudos to the innovative screenplay and the moments that work - they work really well.
Grade: C +
I THINK I MISSED mentioning TWO OF THE YEAR’S BEST MOVIES.
TYSON (great Tyson documentary that demands to be seen.)
TWO LOVERS
Here are some older reviews I’d never posted:
MY ANTIONIO (VH1)
Antonio seems like a nice, slightly brain damaged fella. The girls here are all hot, and all developmentally slow as well. Antionio’s mother…is one for the books. This show should be fun but somehow it’s….pretty much a bore. Antonio is a bit too serious and self important and like I said, slightly retarded - and the casting doesn’t really make for the kind of lunacy we expect from these types of shows. The presence of Antiono’s ex here is just kind of pathetic and on the mean side. I check out after episode #3.
Grade: D
DADDY’S GIRLS (MTV)
A spin off of RUNS HOUSE – which I’ve never seen. I accidently caught this and found it to be an overly scripted reality show that has no resemblance whatsoever to anything remotely real, or the least bit entertaining.
Grade: D –
BIG BROTHER (CBS)
Another casting nightmare, this usually great peep into the lives of strangers got bogged down in some of the cheesiest cast members since season 1. Another early check out.
TYSON (in theaters)
A must see. Mike Tyson is open, honest and candid – and often quite chilling. His remembrences of a misspent youth and friends who are gone is wrenching, and you havne’t quite lived till you’ve heard Tyson call the woman who sent him to prison (for rap) “that wretched, wretched woman.”
Grade: A
HOWARD TV – your love of this network, a pay cable channel available only on ON DEMAND is dependant upon your love of Stern. I’ve been a listener for over 25 years and show no signs of slowing down. Plus, this channel gets you all the stuff you missed, all the stuff you didn’t see on the original segment, original outrageous programming, and is frequently the funniest thing on TV. If you don’t have the radio show, this is a fantastic optional choice and if you have the radio show, this is a great addition.
Grade: A +
RENT FILMED LIVE ON BROADWAY FINAL NIGHT (DVD)
Maybe just for RENTHEADS, but for those of you who found the Christopher Columbus overblown RENT musical film much too much, this is a very proper way to view what RENT actually was. Unfortunately, the cast, while game, isn’t up to the originals singers who brought this to life. But they’re ok. If you want to see the superb, mostly original cast, you have to rent the overblown movie. If you want to see a great production of the stage play – presented here in its last night of life, rent this.
Grade: B +
UNDERBELLY (season 1)
Based on real events, this Australian import depicts the infamous Carlton Crew – all leading up to the Melbourne street wars. Sort of a less sentimental Sopranos without the sort of character work that show was known for, this is none the less a plot heavy, action packed mob show that is both addictive and satisfying with those with a sweet tooth for multi-storied mob sagas. The first season was a lot of fun and introduced some great characters to the mob show pantheon. I haven’t unveiled season 2 yet, but understand that it’s a prequel. Highly recommended. Choose the subtitles – they help with those thick accents.
Grade: B
JCVD (DVD)
Jean Claude Van Damme stars in the best movie he’s ever made – a crime/thriller/fantasy in which JCVD plays a version of himself caught up in a bank robbery. The plot thickens and Jean Claude gets into acting territory I never thought him capable of – and just a really great movie. Highly recommended.
B +
FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS (2nd season) HBO
Loved the first season. New season – not so much. Somehow everything that was so great for the first season somehow lost it’s sizzle in season….but always entertaining.
Grade: B -
MORE TO LOVE (abc)
Same ABC dating game deal – this time it’s with basically attractive fat people. But these shows have really all become a bore. There is nothing new here, though I suppose its nice to see some reality show that isn’t littered from head to toe with pretty people. The problem, I suspect, is that some of these overweight women are more phsychologically vulnerable than their perfect bodied counterparts on other shows – and I hope exposure on this show doesn’t hurt them more. Still, this is a very progressive effort on ABC’s part to shine a spotlight on the more “real” people – if you will.
Grade: A for effort.
Grade: C for execution.
TUPAC: RESSURECTION (VH1)
They rerun this a lot. It’s great – if you loved Tupac – you’d probably love this loving recreation of his life with his own words and tons of info and images. Tupac, we hardly knew ya’.
Grade: B
COM CENTRAL ROAST OF JOAN RIVERS (COM)Some sucked – some were ok – I don’t know. Jeff Ross was funny – Robin Quivers – whom I love dearly – was not. I remember Alan King being kind of inspired. I think the whole thing was ok – I don’t remember it much – which is not a great sign. I love Joan Rivers – I love these roasts – somehow this one didn’t live up to it’s usual hilarity. I think I sort of remember Gilbert Godfried being pretty funny. He always is.
Grade: B -
THE GREAT BUCK HOWARD(DVD)
Very fine film based on the life of KRESKIN the Magician (who appappeared on Letterman and Johnny Carson a billion times.) Colin Hanks is a law student who chucks it all to go on the road with Buck Henry and his dwindling audience. While I can’t superficially gush about it because frankly, I can’t remember the specific scenes here all that well, I just really liked the tone, the performances and the life lessons imparted to Hanks.
Grade: C +
THE BEATLES REMASTERS
Jimmy Kimmel recently said “there is nobody in the world that can tell the difference between the remasters and the old cds.” He’s pretty close. I’m an audiophile and I can tell you that in a side by side comparison – there is a hair more clarity in the new recordings, the mixes are just a tad punchier – a dallop louder. Maybe. If you don’t listen to them side by side – you probably can't hear the difference. And these “new” remasters sound a lot like the songs they put on the “NUMBER ONES” CD a few years ago. If you really want to experience the Beatles old songs with a truly unique mix – throw the George Martin mixed LOVE onto your 5.1 system – now that is the Beatles Remastered – but then again, never a bad reason to listen to the Beatles.
DECADES
I realized that my BEST (and some of the worst) OF THE DECADES LIST mostly consisted of films from 08’.
This week, I offer you the BEST and WORST in movies of 07’. Or – at least what I remember about it:
DECADES LIST 2007:
THERE WILL BE BLOOD (amazing opening – great film.)
MICHAEL CLAYTON (Clooney starts taking the right roles)
JUNO (which made a star out of everyone, particularly Diablo Cody)
I could not get through 8 minutes of AUSTRALIA!
I loved ALPHA DOG.
NORBIT was hateful and inept.
MUSIC AND LYRICS was charming.
BREACH was tense and terrific. Best husband of Reese Witherspoon performance ever.
RENO 911: MIAMI was funny in spots.
I could not bring myself to watch WILD HOGS. Nor will I bring myself to watch OLD DOGS. (I defy anyone to explain the OLD DOGS poster to me.)
I kind of liked BLACK SNAKE MOAN.
ZODIAC was way too long and not all that exciting.
I didn’t get into 300.
BLADES OF GLORY WAS A LITTLE FUNNIER than you’d expect.
THE LOOKOUT was pretty good.
GRINDHOUSE was fun, but QT’s segment was light years better than the Rodriguez chapter.
DISTURBIA was a bit better than it should’ve been, but Shia is no Tom Hanks.
I never saw SPIDERMAN 3.
Or I don’t remember it.
28 WEEKS LATER was a great zombie movie.
I don’t get the PIRATES movies – sorry.
KNOCKED UP knocked me out. One of the decade’s best.
HOSTEL PART II was a great sequel.
LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD sucked. It took all the charm of the original and made you hate the character.
HAIRSPRAY had a great opening number – don’t remember too much else.
THE SIMPSONS MOVIE should’ve been better.
HOT ROD was unwatchable.
UNDERDOG was detestable.
SUPERBAD was awesome.
ROB ZOMBIE’S HALLOWEEN was pretty cool.
EASTERN PROMISES was solid. Great bathroom fighting scene.
I still can’t get through THE DARJEELING LIMITED.
GONE BABY GONE was very well done and a startling good directing debut from Ben Affleck.
WALK HARD was hilarious.
REVIEWS FOR NEXT BLOG:
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM Season 6 (HBO)
DEXTER Season 4 (SHOWTIME)
SONS OF ANARCHY season 2 (FX)
JULIA & JULIA
THE HURT LOCKER
UP IN THE AIR
THE LOVELY BONES
DISTRICT 9
The last half hour of UP!
And more!
Thanks for stopping by.
2009/12/12
The return of the couch! Decades edition. Sort of.
Part 1.
I haven't seen all the year end films and probably won't - so this is a highly subjective and limited list. None the less, I've seen quite a few films.
In no particular order, here are some of the best things about 2009. And some of the worst. And some in between.
1.) PRECIOUS
It's really bleak. It's pretty dark and it was never meant to be ROCKY. But it's about the best drama I've seen in a long time with such originality that all of its ghetto cliches feel fresh and new. Based on a harrowing true story of a real girl growing up in Harlem in the 80s, precious features out of the box performances by its lead, Gabourey Sidibe as the young girl and as her mother, Monique gives a completely unexpected and lived in performance. Mariah Carrey is shockingly good in her two quick scenes and the direction is quite good, if a little outlandish in some of the quick fantasy sequences that feel completely out of place and amateurishly executed. That very minor quibble aside - this is a must see.
2.) WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE
Completely original and wholly indescribable. The film, about the needs and yearnings of an aggressive young boy, quickly gets to a place where we are stuck for the rest of the movie. Initially it feels like a sentence. About 5 minutes later I realized I was literally in the mind of the boy and taken to a place in film I've never been before. The creatures are CGI marvels, James Gandolfini does some of his best work voicing the main puppet, and while I would not recommend this for kids at all - it's maybe one of the best kids films made for adults ever.
3.) PAUL BLART: MALL COP
Okay - not one of the year's best at all - but a far funnier film than it had a right to be. Kevin James can save almost any material and this had the feel of DIE HARD in a mall - and it all worked really well. I laughed out loud often. (not one of the year's best, just a great rental - but felt I should include this.)
4.) GOMORRAH
Unsentimental, hard, complicated to understand, and ultimately brilliant. Doing away with the kind of mob-sentimentality that made THE SOPRANOS the best show ever, this slow burn of multi-story mob tales builds to an overall feeling that - loyalty doesn't mean shit.
5.) I LOVE YOU, MAN
The best Judd Apatow film not directed by Judd Apatow. Paul Rudd and Jason Siegal are just great as new found pals and the supporting cast, particularly Jon Favrau and Jamie Presley, do killer work in this likable comedy.
6.) THE GREAT BUCK HOWARD
Offbeat film that's supposedly about The Amazing Kreskin, I really enjoyed this. Colin Hanks is great and John Malchovich is perfect as the age-addled Buck Howard.
7.) CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE
Outrageous sequel to the outrageous and cult classic original - this film had no right to be funny, fresh and moving. Yet it was all those things. Way better than you'd think. And yes, it made no sense.
8.) TERMINATOR: SALVATION
Part 1 was great. T2 was probably one of the best of the genre. Part 3 sucked hard - this one almost fails to show up. The best thing this film produced was Christian Bale's outragous on set tirade at the sound man who kept stepping into frame during shooting: in fact, the following might be the best thing about 2009 (although - Tiger Woods was caught with 14 women right in time for Christmas) - in the meantime, enjoy one last jaunt through Mr. Bale's words:
...kick your fucking ass. I want you off the fucking set you prick. No, don't just be sorry, think for one fucking second. What the fuck are you doing? Are you professional or not? Do I fucking walk around and rip- no, shut the fuck up Bruce, do I-no! No! Don't shut me up. Am I going to walk around and rip your fucking lighs down? In the middle of a scene? Then why the fuck are you walking right through? a-tada-tada like this in the background, what the fuck is it with you? What don't you fucking understand? You got any fucking idea about- Hey! It's fucking distracting having somebody walking up behind bryce in the middle of the fucking scene. Gimme a fucking answer. What don't you get about it? ... fuck sake man you're amateur... you've got something to say to this prick? Well somebody's should be watching him and keeping an eye on him. It's the second time that he doesn't give a fuck about what is going on in front of the camera. Alright? I'm trying to fucking do a scene here and I'm going why the fuck is Shane walking in there? What is he doing there? Do you understand? My mind is not in the scene if you're doing that. Stay off the fucking set man, for fuck's set. Right let's go again. Let's not take a fucking minute, let's go again. And let's not have you fucking walking in... You're unbelievable man, you're un-fucking-believable. The number of times you stroll in the fucking background. I've never had a DP behave like this. You don't fucking understand what its like working with actors. That's what that is. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. You wouldn't have done that otherwise. I'm gonna fucking kick your fucking ass if you don't shut up for a second, alright? I'm gonna go, do you want me to go and trash your lights? Do you want me to fucking trash them? Then why are you trashing my scene? You do it one more time, and I wain't walking back to set if you're still hired... seriously man - you and me, we're fucking done professionally.... fucking ass.
How fucking great is that? If I could live, breathe and work in that - I would. It's that good.
Fucking amateur.
The movie itself was really rubbish, though. A true waste of time.
9.) UP
I have the last half hour to go on this, and aside from the amazing first 20 minutes which show a life, a marriage and a death with unbelievable poetry and wisdom, I never got into the rest of this Pixar film the way some did. Sorry. I didn't really get this one.
10) THE HANGOVER
Kinda funny, but very overrated.
11.) LAND OF THE LOST
Had its moments, but considering the amazing source material - this could've been the best super specific spoof in the world or the coolest action movie ever. Instead, it was a middling Will Ferrel comedy that was saved occasionally by some crude humor courtesy of the always hilarious Danny McBride.
12.) PUBLIC ENEMIES
Considering the director and the star, this was a massive one-note disappointment.
13.) DISTRICT 9
One of the year's best and one of the more unique movies in the sci-fi category. Starts as a documentary then casually morphs into a straight narrative. The special effects are very special and the metaphors actually work the relationship between the two leads was both moving and original.
14.) INGLORIOUS BASTERDS
QT honestly did it again. I would say one of his best, but then - he's only made about 6 films and they're all spectacular. Even JACKIE BROWN, originally kind of dissed in its theatrical release, is amazing if you go back and look at it. I even really liked DEATH PROOF, though that may be the least of his efforts. But getting back to BASTARDS, the cast is great, particularly the Jew Hunter, Brad Pitt is perfect and the last sequence between the theatre owner and the star of the faux film - haunting. The finale is one of the best 15 minutes of 2009. One of the years, and decades, very best. It exists as both a great war film, and firmly a Tarantino film.
15.) THE INFORMANT!
Really good, if not great. But really good. Matt Damon , howeer, is great.
16.) ZOMBIELAND
I love zombie movies and was hoping for more pathos in this - but it remained mostly a comedy throughout and as that, worked just fine. I just felt it could've been so much more. They just announced a 3-D sequel - that should be fun.
17.) THE BLIND SIDE
Like Hilary Swank before her, Sandra Bullock bravely plays a white woman who feels a compassionate need to help a needy young black man. Only this movie, with all its white guilt cliches, is written and directed so well that it all works. And Bullock, who really has found a way to step up her acting game in this film. is pitch perfect. Based on a true story, this is way better than I ever thought it could be.
Ok, so - I promised 10, gave you 17 - and I still have many films to watch.
This is the first part of my year end series and will do a few blogs with the rest of the notable 2009 releases along with my best picks for tv of the year, the year in music, and then I will really fuck up the best of the decade list.
In the meantime, here are some of the best of the decade films:
THE WRESTLER (not just a Mickey Rourke comeback but a great film all on its own)
THE DARK KNIGHT (superhero masterpiece)
WALL.E
FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL (unrated version - one of my very favorites)
TOWELHEAD (very dark, very good - maybe not a decade best, but one of the years best.)
ROLE MODELS (maybe not best of the decade - but pretty awesome.)
Stay tuned for part 2.
I haven't seen all the year end films and probably won't - so this is a highly subjective and limited list. None the less, I've seen quite a few films.
In no particular order, here are some of the best things about 2009. And some of the worst. And some in between.
1.) PRECIOUS
It's really bleak. It's pretty dark and it was never meant to be ROCKY. But it's about the best drama I've seen in a long time with such originality that all of its ghetto cliches feel fresh and new. Based on a harrowing true story of a real girl growing up in Harlem in the 80s, precious features out of the box performances by its lead, Gabourey Sidibe as the young girl and as her mother, Monique gives a completely unexpected and lived in performance. Mariah Carrey is shockingly good in her two quick scenes and the direction is quite good, if a little outlandish in some of the quick fantasy sequences that feel completely out of place and amateurishly executed. That very minor quibble aside - this is a must see.
2.) WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE
Completely original and wholly indescribable. The film, about the needs and yearnings of an aggressive young boy, quickly gets to a place where we are stuck for the rest of the movie. Initially it feels like a sentence. About 5 minutes later I realized I was literally in the mind of the boy and taken to a place in film I've never been before. The creatures are CGI marvels, James Gandolfini does some of his best work voicing the main puppet, and while I would not recommend this for kids at all - it's maybe one of the best kids films made for adults ever.
3.) PAUL BLART: MALL COP
Okay - not one of the year's best at all - but a far funnier film than it had a right to be. Kevin James can save almost any material and this had the feel of DIE HARD in a mall - and it all worked really well. I laughed out loud often. (not one of the year's best, just a great rental - but felt I should include this.)
4.) GOMORRAH
Unsentimental, hard, complicated to understand, and ultimately brilliant. Doing away with the kind of mob-sentimentality that made THE SOPRANOS the best show ever, this slow burn of multi-story mob tales builds to an overall feeling that - loyalty doesn't mean shit.
5.) I LOVE YOU, MAN
The best Judd Apatow film not directed by Judd Apatow. Paul Rudd and Jason Siegal are just great as new found pals and the supporting cast, particularly Jon Favrau and Jamie Presley, do killer work in this likable comedy.
6.) THE GREAT BUCK HOWARD
Offbeat film that's supposedly about The Amazing Kreskin, I really enjoyed this. Colin Hanks is great and John Malchovich is perfect as the age-addled Buck Howard.
7.) CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE
Outrageous sequel to the outrageous and cult classic original - this film had no right to be funny, fresh and moving. Yet it was all those things. Way better than you'd think. And yes, it made no sense.
8.) TERMINATOR: SALVATION
Part 1 was great. T2 was probably one of the best of the genre. Part 3 sucked hard - this one almost fails to show up. The best thing this film produced was Christian Bale's outragous on set tirade at the sound man who kept stepping into frame during shooting: in fact, the following might be the best thing about 2009 (although - Tiger Woods was caught with 14 women right in time for Christmas) - in the meantime, enjoy one last jaunt through Mr. Bale's words:
...kick your fucking ass. I want you off the fucking set you prick. No, don't just be sorry, think for one fucking second. What the fuck are you doing? Are you professional or not? Do I fucking walk around and rip- no, shut the fuck up Bruce, do I-no! No! Don't shut me up. Am I going to walk around and rip your fucking lighs down? In the middle of a scene? Then why the fuck are you walking right through? a-tada-tada like this in the background, what the fuck is it with you? What don't you fucking understand? You got any fucking idea about- Hey! It's fucking distracting having somebody walking up behind bryce in the middle of the fucking scene. Gimme a fucking answer. What don't you get about it? ... fuck sake man you're amateur... you've got something to say to this prick? Well somebody's should be watching him and keeping an eye on him. It's the second time that he doesn't give a fuck about what is going on in front of the camera. Alright? I'm trying to fucking do a scene here and I'm going why the fuck is Shane walking in there? What is he doing there? Do you understand? My mind is not in the scene if you're doing that. Stay off the fucking set man, for fuck's set. Right let's go again. Let's not take a fucking minute, let's go again. And let's not have you fucking walking in... You're unbelievable man, you're un-fucking-believable. The number of times you stroll in the fucking background. I've never had a DP behave like this. You don't fucking understand what its like working with actors. That's what that is. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. You wouldn't have done that otherwise. I'm gonna fucking kick your fucking ass if you don't shut up for a second, alright? I'm gonna go, do you want me to go and trash your lights? Do you want me to fucking trash them? Then why are you trashing my scene? You do it one more time, and I wain't walking back to set if you're still hired... seriously man - you and me, we're fucking done professionally.... fucking ass.
How fucking great is that? If I could live, breathe and work in that - I would. It's that good.
Fucking amateur.
The movie itself was really rubbish, though. A true waste of time.
9.) UP
I have the last half hour to go on this, and aside from the amazing first 20 minutes which show a life, a marriage and a death with unbelievable poetry and wisdom, I never got into the rest of this Pixar film the way some did. Sorry. I didn't really get this one.
10) THE HANGOVER
Kinda funny, but very overrated.
11.) LAND OF THE LOST
Had its moments, but considering the amazing source material - this could've been the best super specific spoof in the world or the coolest action movie ever. Instead, it was a middling Will Ferrel comedy that was saved occasionally by some crude humor courtesy of the always hilarious Danny McBride.
12.) PUBLIC ENEMIES
Considering the director and the star, this was a massive one-note disappointment.
13.) DISTRICT 9
One of the year's best and one of the more unique movies in the sci-fi category. Starts as a documentary then casually morphs into a straight narrative. The special effects are very special and the metaphors actually work the relationship between the two leads was both moving and original.
14.) INGLORIOUS BASTERDS
QT honestly did it again. I would say one of his best, but then - he's only made about 6 films and they're all spectacular. Even JACKIE BROWN, originally kind of dissed in its theatrical release, is amazing if you go back and look at it. I even really liked DEATH PROOF, though that may be the least of his efforts. But getting back to BASTARDS, the cast is great, particularly the Jew Hunter, Brad Pitt is perfect and the last sequence between the theatre owner and the star of the faux film - haunting. The finale is one of the best 15 minutes of 2009. One of the years, and decades, very best. It exists as both a great war film, and firmly a Tarantino film.
15.) THE INFORMANT!
Really good, if not great. But really good. Matt Damon , howeer, is great.
16.) ZOMBIELAND
I love zombie movies and was hoping for more pathos in this - but it remained mostly a comedy throughout and as that, worked just fine. I just felt it could've been so much more. They just announced a 3-D sequel - that should be fun.
17.) THE BLIND SIDE
Like Hilary Swank before her, Sandra Bullock bravely plays a white woman who feels a compassionate need to help a needy young black man. Only this movie, with all its white guilt cliches, is written and directed so well that it all works. And Bullock, who really has found a way to step up her acting game in this film. is pitch perfect. Based on a true story, this is way better than I ever thought it could be.
Ok, so - I promised 10, gave you 17 - and I still have many films to watch.
This is the first part of my year end series and will do a few blogs with the rest of the notable 2009 releases along with my best picks for tv of the year, the year in music, and then I will really fuck up the best of the decade list.
In the meantime, here are some of the best of the decade films:
THE WRESTLER (not just a Mickey Rourke comeback but a great film all on its own)
THE DARK KNIGHT (superhero masterpiece)
WALL.E
FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL (unrated version - one of my very favorites)
TOWELHEAD (very dark, very good - maybe not a decade best, but one of the years best.)
ROLE MODELS (maybe not best of the decade - but pretty awesome.)
Stay tuned for part 2.
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